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Garnet
Vietnam8356 Posts
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FlaShFTW
United States9274 Posts
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NrG.Bamboo
United States2642 Posts
But if you think you know them well enough to make that judgement then it's probably best to pursue who you can see yourself getting along with in the long term, if that's what you're looking for (like what flash said.) If you want to just mess around and have fun, go for the former: worst case scenario is that you get sick of each other and part ways, best case being that you grow on each other and actually build something worthwhile together. Of course this also has to do with how much you are driven by physical attraction (some people are shallow and can't righteously "lower their standards," if that's you then shoot for the stars and hope for the best.) Godspeed. | ||
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travis
United States23849 Posts
Getting to know this girl first, I ended up really liking her. When she ended up not meeting my standards of physical beauty I wasn't bothered by it anymore. If I had met her in person first, this may have never worked out. We've been together for like 9 years now, married for 5 I think. I don't really keep track. But I am happy, even though she can be a pain in the ass sometimes. | ||
DarkPlasmaBall
United States39863 Posts
For that reason, if you had to choose, I would go for the personality. Physical/Sexual attraction is important, but if you're interested in long-term, permanent relationships, being able to get along with your partner on a daily basis and connect on an emotional level is more important, imho. Of course, that's only running with your dichotomous premise - that you need to pick one and ignore the other. Ideally, you'll experience a spectrum of physical attraction and a spectrum of attractive personalities, and you'll hopefully be able to make it work with someone who's reasonably high on both of those personal, subjective spectrums ![]() | ||
JimmyJRaynor
Canada14387 Posts
Until you know more about both its impossible to make a reasonable decision. So don't make a yes/no type binary decision. Go out with both and gather more information about the people involved AND YOURSELF. Back when I didn't own my own biz my attitude was 'i already got a job... i'm not going to turn finding a gf into a 2nd job". I suggest you do the same. Be super serious about your chosen profession and try to have fun in all other aspects of life. Especially when it comes to starting new relationships .. you are starting with so little information.. just have fun dawg. I love these "Old Man Relationship Stories" .... | ||
Harris1st
Germany4423 Posts
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JimmyJRaynor
Canada14387 Posts
I'm far better at building relationships than I was fifteen years ago. Along the way I had many setbacks and many soul-crushing , confidence-sapping failures. Why do we fall down? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. watch how this guy deals with failure and big losses... if the rest of the world dealt with crushing failures the way this guy does.. the world would be 1000X better. | ||
KelianQatar
302 Posts
On March 05 2021 21:56 Garnet wrote: Between people who I'm physically attracted to but don't like their personality, and people who I like but not attracted to, which should I choose? assuming they both like me. I don't have much experience with dating and stuff, even though I'm almost 30. Don't date! Align yourself with good people, period. Small imperfections in looks or personalities are easily overlooked when the core of the person is good, honest, trustworthy and decent. You are not giving much detail on what "attracts" you or what personality traits you don't like. Just remember, both (the attraction and dislike) are a reflection of YOU. What you like and don't like about yourself. Focus on being a good human and you'll attract good humans. Hang out with people and get to know them! And like another poster responded, have fun! | ||
puppykiller
United States3115 Posts
Anyway I tend to veer towards looks. A girl who isn't physically attractive is a friend at best and honestly I think most people's personalities are pretty good. | ||
ninazerg
United States7289 Posts
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JieXian
Malaysia4544 Posts
On March 11 2021 13:11 ninazerg wrote: That was a long read, but worth it. It's been awhile since I've seen a blog with this sheer amount of text. Anyhow, I'm going to give the chaos recommendation by suggesting you find someone who has terrible looks, a terrible personality, and doesn't really even like you. If you roll higher than 18 on your d20 twice in a row, all of her attributes will flip because of a special rule, and she will then have good looks, a great personality, and will also really like you. It's a bold strategy, cotton. Let's see if it pays off for you. hahahahahaha your response is longer than the OP too | ||
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