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I've been thinking about a lot of things lately and I haven't been very happy. First I should probably discuss the Starcraft community again. The thought of quitting crossed my mind again, but I still want to commentate... it's just that Klazart is here. The truth is, I'm really jealous of Klazart. So much to the point that I don't like him. Not because he's a bad person or something, he's a great person. He is nice, never bm like me and not immature. Right now I'm being immature because I am extremely jealous that he's getting somewhere with this commentary stuff and I am not. Klazart appreciation thread on TLnet, GGnet, Youtube. Klazart: Sometimes I just wish I was you, and I know that it's immature to be so jealous but I can't help it.
The one thing I have to say is I felt it was necessary to quit because I, for one, cannot handle competition (that's actually better than me). Also, what future does commentating hold? Klazart is on QuadV, but I don't see how commentating on a team can get you that far in life anyways, even if they give you a salary. At this point, e-sports is not too popular other than in Korea, so commentating isn't that popular either. In a few years it may become huge in other parts of the world, but still the pay won't be that good, will it? That's why I think it doesn't have a very bright future. I have always wanted to become a doctor. Both my parents are doctors and my older brother is going to finish college soon and go to medical school. Spending so much time addicted to Starcraft and commentating as well has also really damaged my future already. Instead of being a straight A student, I am now straight A's and one B+ (for both semesters), which is really bad in my standards. It's damaging my eyes as well. I have a thing called 'ghosting' which is an eye condition and I'm pretty sure it is caused by computer over-usage. The doctor prescribed fake tears but it didn't work. Also damaging me physically because I don't get out as much.
These are all the cons of spending so much time doing this.
You know, the past week I've been so busy in China with my family that I could barely get to the computer. My grandma's house doesn't even have a computer and that's where I stayed. I felt fine even though there was no computer because I was having fun. Unlike sometimes when my parents lock the door I feel really bored. Also whenever I am using the computer, looking at TLnet and whatever, I always feel that I'm not accomplishing anything, not getting anything done. That's another thing that I hate now.
It's like I was having more fun without the computer than with it, and it's made me start wondering if I really needed to be so addicted to Starcraft. What's the benefits of it? I watch progamers play, commentate, wish I could be better in commentating or playing in SC, have some fun but not that much because the knowledge that I am damaging myself is always nagging on my shoulder.
I actually had thoughts of pretending that I died and have TLnet somehow figure out that I 'died' and then when I got a lower voice I would come back, which brings me back to my third point. Why can't I just get a low voice? Apparently in China, a boy with longer hair than a buzz cut and has a high voice is a girl. Seriously. 5 people in Shanghai thought I was a girl and right now I'm in Fuzhou and soooo many old people think I'm a girl. It's freaking annoying. My parents and myself want me to get a low voice, but it just won't come, which really screws me over.
Another thing about commentating - You guys told me to go more indepth. I was listening to Klazart's VODs the other day and I was like... you want me to do that? "he needs to do this, he needs to do that, break out of contain and needs to expand". All of that isn't 'hard' strategical analysis. People were telling me to talk about specific build orders, timings and midgame to late game transitions, early game to midgame transitions, etc. Now, zerg and toss build orders I am relatively familiar at this point, but of course all the rest of the stuff I can't do. But I can easily say 'he needs to break out of this contain and start expanding, because the enemy will establish map dominance giving him a huge edge economically', or 'at this point he needs to use the mutas extremely efficiently because it may be his last hope. He needs to keep the enemy inside his base until his own defense is up to fend off those marines and medics.'
Now I forgot something I wanted to say earlier, but these are a lot of the things I have been thinking recently. Manifesto is gonna come and be like 'lol noob' but I don't care because this is how I feel. What else sucks? I have a pretty laggy internet here in China, and I'm stuck here for a month. I guess it means that I'm supposed to spend more time with my family, because I'm getting screwed over by being addicted anyways.
Alright, so now let me talk about something happy. I can start my commentaries again. Someone PMed me on youtube and asked when I was going to make a new commentary because it's been so long, and that was pretty nice. Eh, yeah.
I'll be adding more stuff to this later, I have so many more things to say but I forgot.
  
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Canada7170 Posts
About your voice. Don't stress it. It'll come. If not, take up voice. There's a big demand for high tenors.
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lol noob
I'm just kidding. But, dude, you're 14. This is an internet forum- not your life. The people here (for the most part) are much older than you.
There are lots of other things to do, besides seek approval in an anonymous forum. You do not have to be perfect. Straight A's and a B(do you really need to add the "+" in here?) is NOT bad.
Go outside. Read a book. There's a whole world out there. Get some perspective (fresh air would be nice too)
And, dude, make commentaries if you like to! 'cuz... if you're always competing...
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grow out your hair like a fob right
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if i were you, i would just give up commentating. try playing a real sport. those are fun also. or learn an instrument. you can really only do those when you're young.
take pleasure in knowing that you're at an age where learning things is the easiest and fastest and that klazart is already past that point. even though Klazart is a better commentator now, you have much more potential to be the next roger federer or picasso or yo-yo ma...unless you waste all your time on something stupid.
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dude, screw klaz. i hate his commenting too lol.
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On June 30 2007 21:34 geometryb wrote:
if i were you, i would just give up commentating. try playing a real sport. those are fun also. or learn an instrument. you can really only do those when you're young.
take pleasure in knowing that you're at an age where learning things is the easiest and fastest and that klazart is already past that point. even though Klazart is a better commentator now, you have much more potential to be the next roger federer or picasso or yo-yo ma...unless you waste all your time on something stupid.
Haha, I play piano, clarinet, keyboard, I play basketball and pingpong and volleyball and baseball... but ever since I've started this I have been doing them so much less. T_T
Also I am fluent speaking Chinese, fluent English and learning Spanish :/
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Austin10831 Posts
I don't even listen to commentaries, and I think you should quit.
You're far too emotionally invested in the fleeting favor of this community. The fact that you resent this klazart person so much is actually quite frightening. I mean, if you're cognizant of the fact that you're acting immature, why are you on here talking about it? It just seems like you're trying to garner the attention here that your commentaries don't get.
The fact that you wanted to pretend you died should be enough to tell you that you're really not ready for this type of mutual social relationship. You can't handle not being the best, and you have this passive-aggressive way of rationalizing your whole situation.
The worst thing is, I think you already know all this. I think you can't help it because you're addicted to attention, and all this puerile internet drama is the perfect fix. You need to separate yourself from all of it, and give yourself a little time to grow, gain perspective, and get that deep voice you want.
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/150196/voice_modulator/
just joking, but mind you there is such a thing..
the only way to get better at anything is to put in the time and the effort and you simply will - but make sure though that is what you like and want to be doing; as for your voice it will get lower as u age, give it time. There will always be people that do something better than you - and I mean at everything you can possibly imagine yourself doing in life, and I really mean always! If you think like this you will end up doing nothing, even the things you enjoy.
If your voice worries you that much in your vods you can use this program (or one like it) while you are waiting for chest to fill up with hairs (figuratively speaking):
http://www.audio4fun.com/voice-changer.htm
"I guess it means that I'm supposed to spend more time with my family"
the answer to that is always yes. Only the foolish ignore their family.
"Manifesto is gonna come and be like 'lol noob' "
dude I doubt he will; he is running around with bags of diapers making ends meet when he is not killing spiders, posting at teamliquid or hammering English to Japanese kids - u seem to look up to him so at least emulate how he tries to look at the bright side of life and do what he loves, just take it in stride man..
no one is perfect, not you, not me or anyone else - so bury those false expectations and live life with passion, do what you love doing and don't worry so much about how others judge you etc..
this is just my advice, not better or worse than the other replies left above - in fact, with the exception of Zalfor's ignorant opinion, everyone else has left good advice from different perspectives; use it ~
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Canada7170 Posts
You're far too emotionally invested in the fleeting favor of this community. The fact that you resent this klazart person so much is actually quite frightening. I mean, if you're cognizant of the fact that you're acting immature, why are you on here talking about it? It just seems like you're trying to garner the attention here that your commentaries don't get.
Agreed. Just don't make this your life- you're taking this far too seriously sometimes. Yes, your commentary will eventually get better, don't stress at how it's not happening right away, be patient.
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It just seems like you're trying to garner the attention here that your commentaries don't get.
The attention that I got was 'Another worthy -_- video' by "equinox_kr" and a bunch of other threads that were talking about how crappy my commentaries were, and they always showed usually my worst ones, and then people wanted to start doing their own commentaries.
The worst thing is, I think you already know all this. I think you can't help it because you're addicted to attention, and all this puerile internet drama is the perfect fix. You need to separate yourself from all of it, and give yourself a little time to grow, gain perspective, and get that deep voice you want.
T_T I guess you're right 
If your voice worries you that much in your vods you can use this program (or one like it) while you are waiting for chest to fill up with hairs (figuratively speaking):
I have a program (Audacity) but I also have a nasally voice as well as a high voice so it just doesn't really work :/
I guess you're all right but I just can't help it because I, ugh... 'You're far too emotionally invested in the fleeting favor of this community'
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
the program you mention, Audacity, as a voice modulator is chobo.. I just gave you an example of one software voice modulator out there that would do the job
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Experience. Klaz has a lot of that, and knows the game very well. Its like coming out of high school and being jealous of a guy with a six-figure income whos been at his job for decades.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
calm down, you really care too much
i wouldn't say give it up, but really think about why you're making commentaries if you start up again. you are doing something for a close-knit community built around a dying game, and the only reason it would make sense is if you have passion for starcraft and its fans. as it is you are really going too much for recognition which is perfectly natural but wrong for this type of work.
you're fourteen, uptight, and take yourself too seriously. look at klaz, he's double your age (think about what this means - more experience, more education, more social skills [the guy is married for christ's sake], more confidence) and on of that a natural. i understand how you see in his success your own failure but disliking him simply because he went where you could not just shows how selfish you are. how many others have failed to achieve anything with something they put a lot of effort into?
reevaluate yourself, stop making these bullshit justifications (you can't stand competition better than you? you're going to go nowhere with that), and quit whining about your voice and looks. fuck! do you fully realize how young you are? seriously moping asians that love doing it are one of the most annoying populations ever. when you first came onto the scene i was impressed by your effort and really hoped the best for you, but this blog entry is an incredibly cowardly and self-centered copout. have some dignity and respect for yourself will you?
there are ways to bow out more gracefully. channel your old determination into other things and eventually you will be the klazart of some other field.
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The future of commentating? Pretty sure everyone who has submitted vods w/ commentator in that commentator thread is doing it for fun or to help the SC community, not because there's a future in it.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
ya lol if what you do for fun = your future career we're all fucked here since posting at teamliquid isn't very profitable
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51385 Posts
The true answer is
life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
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Braavos36372 Posts
+ Show Spoiler +On June 30 2007 20:54 Superiorwolf wrote:
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately and I haven't been very happy. First I should probably discuss the Starcraft community again. The thought of quitting crossed my mind again, but I still want to commentate... it's just that Klazart is here. The truth is, I'm really jealous of Klazart. So much to the point that I don't like him. Not because he's a bad person or something, he's a great person. He is nice, never bm like me and not immature. Right now I'm being immature because I am extremely jealous that he's getting somewhere with this commentary stuff and I am not. Klazart appreciation thread on TLnet, GGnet, Youtube. Klazart: Sometimes I just wish I was you, and I know that it's immature to be so jealous but I can't help it.
The one thing I have to say is I felt it was necessary to quit because I, for one, cannot handle competition (that's actually better than me). Also, what future does commentating hold? Klazart is on QuadV, but I don't see how commentating on a team can get you that far in life anyways, even if they give you a salary. At this point, e-sports is not too popular other than in Korea, so commentating isn't that popular either. In a few years it may become huge in other parts of the world, but still the pay won't be that good, will it? That's why I think it doesn't have a very bright future. I have always wanted to become a doctor. Both my parents are doctors and my older brother is going to finish college soon and go to medical school. Spending so much time addicted to Starcraft and commentating as well has also really damaged my future already. Instead of being a straight A student, I am now straight A's and one B+ (for both semesters), which is really bad in my standards. It's damaging my eyes as well. I have a thing called 'ghosting' which is an eye condition and I'm pretty sure it is caused by computer over-usage. The doctor prescribed fake tears but it didn't work. Also damaging me physically because I don't get out as much.
These are all the cons of spending so much time doing this.
You know, the past week I've been so busy in China with my family that I could barely get to the computer. My grandma's house doesn't even have a computer and that's where I stayed. I felt fine even though there was no computer because I was having fun. Unlike sometimes when my parents lock the door I feel really bored. Also whenever I am using the computer, looking at TLnet and whatever, I always feel that I'm not accomplishing anything, not getting anything done. That's another thing that I hate now.
It's like I was having more fun without the computer than with it, and it's made me start wondering if I really needed to be so addicted to Starcraft. What's the benefits of it? I watch progamers play, commentate, wish I could be better in commentating or playing in SC, have some fun but not that much because the knowledge that I am damaging myself is always nagging on my shoulder.
I actually had thoughts of pretending that I died and have TLnet somehow figure out that I 'died' and then when I got a lower voice I would come back, which brings me back to my third point. Why can't I just get a low voice? Apparently in China, a boy with longer hair than a buzz cut and has a high voice is a girl. Seriously. 5 people in Shanghai thought I was a girl and right now I'm in Fuzhou and soooo many old people think I'm a girl. It's freaking annoying. My parents and myself want me to get a low voice, but it just won't come, which really screws me over.
Another thing about commentating - You guys told me to go more indepth. I was listening to Klazart's VODs the other day and I was like... you want me to do that? "he needs to do this, he needs to do that, break out of contain and needs to expand". All of that isn't 'hard' strategical analysis. People were telling me to talk about specific build orders, timings and midgame to late game transitions, early game to midgame transitions, etc. Now, zerg and toss build orders I am relatively familiar at this point, but of course all the rest of the stuff I can't do. But I can easily say 'he needs to break out of this contain and start expanding, because the enemy will establish map dominance giving him a huge edge economically', or 'at this point he needs to use the mutas extremely efficiently because it may be his last hope. He needs to keep the enemy inside his base until his own defense is up to fend off those marines and medics.'
Now I forgot something I wanted to say earlier, but these are a lot of the things I have been thinking recently. Manifesto is gonna come and be like 'lol noob' but I don't care because this is how I feel. What else sucks? I have a pretty laggy internet here in China, and I'm stuck here for a month. I guess it means that I'm supposed to spend more time with my family, because I'm getting screwed over by being addicted anyways.
Alright, so now let me talk about something happy. I can start my commentaries again. Someone PMed me on youtube and asked when I was going to make a new commentary because it's been so long, and that was pretty nice. Eh, yeah.
I'll be adding more stuff to this later, I have so many more things to say but I forgot.
i'm quoting your post just in case you edit it out
my advice would be that commentating is fun for some people, they love it, they do it not to get a career but because it's enjoyable. whats the point saying all that stuff about wasting your life and commentating leading nowhere, that sounded just like a cheap shot at klaz and the time he invests. it really wasn't necessary.
same with geo's post about commentating being "something stupid" when compared to potential to be federer or yo-yo ma or whatever. every single hobby or sport has a person who's great, whos to say Klaz won't make a living out of commentating and become the next news anchor, and whos to say he even wants to do that?
the equivalent of saying "oh im quitting, this is stupid and leading nowhere, even if Klaz is on QuadV it won't lead anywhere, im going to become a doctor" is just childish. people do things because they love doing them, don't try to tear them down because you can't deal with the fact that someone is better than you ate it.
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NonY, I'm already jealous of you but it's more of a 'jealous of Tasteless' jealous. How can I not be jealous of WCG america winner.
"oh im quitting, this is stupid and leading nowhere, even if Klaz is on QuadV it won't lead anywhere, im going to become a doctor"
I didn't mean to imply that he isn't going to get anywhere, I was trying to say that I wasn't going to get anywhere.
"people do things because they love doing them, don't try to tear them down because you can't deal with the fact that someone is better than you ate it."
I was enjoying doing them too, but every single time I tried to do something for the Starcraft community everyone bashed me, laughing at my videos saying I sucked and should kill myself or 'GTFO'. They were tearing what I liked to do down, and now that Klaz is so good I can't even try to do it more because at this point I get 0 feedback and everyone still hates my commentaries. I'm not trying to tear down Klaz because:
1. He has already established a large fanbase and doesn't care anyways.
2. He's too good at commentating.
3. Why would I waste my time to do that.
4. That's something stupid to do.
In my post I wasn't trying to imply anything towards him, just that I was really jealous of him and my true feelings about Commentary and starcraft.
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And Hot_Bid you don't have to worry about me erasing it this time because I don't regret what I said because they are my true feelings. I didn't mean to imply that Klazart was wasting his time but instead I was ranting about I've spent what since February...
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To be honest i think you brought most of this negative attitude on yourself with all of these "i'm gonna quit"-threads, If anything this self pity shit is what makes people dislike you. Your thoughts on how you are wasting your life, not doing anything meaningful and only getting straight As and a B+ (seriously what the fuck?) are scaring me.
When i was 14years old i was out playing soccer, speedrunning Super Metroid, hanging out with friends and basically just being a kid, i'm 22 now and i'm not even having thoughts like you do.
What i'm trying to say is just stop taking everything so damn serious, if you enjoy commenting then keep doing it, if you commentate solely for the purpose of being praised by the SC community you are doing it for the wrong reason.
keep doing whatever you enjoy doing..
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Man I really kinda like you but you are pathetic. Just relax it.
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Hey Suppy. I know we've had our differences but I really think you need to listen to a couple people in this thread. You are taking all of this way too seriously and the jealousy is only going to turn more people against you. Yes attention is nice and as you've stated throughout the blogs you enjoy getting that attention. I don't know everything about your daily life but it really seems like you need to learn to fill that need for attention with some other manner.
The internet is a fun place where you can get away from your normal reality, but you can't let it consume you. You are only 14 yrs old, you really need to just let all of this go and just live life and use it to find out who you really are. As you've stated you have a lot of things going for you, you are intelligent and you could possibly have a bright future ahead of you. It isn't worth letting all of that go so that you can get some attention on broadcasting for a couple starcraft games.
The most important thing you need to realize is that even if you continue commentating you need to step back and analyze what is going on. You want to know why people enjoy nony, klazart, and tasteless? Not only are they good they are passionate about what they are doing. They don't do it so that they can get a couple appreciation threads on TL or Youtube, they do it because its fun. I think you have severely lost track of all of that. The first sign of positive feed back and you're in it for the glory and not the journey.
So basically, forget about all of this. Enjoy your vacation in China, don't let all of this bring you down. Come on the internet to relax, play a couple games of starcraft because its fun. Be a kid and grow up and enjoy highschool. It isn't going to be here forever, and one day you'll look back and regret it all if you spend your entire youth worrying about commentating.
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Canada7170 Posts
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take a chill pill, you gotta see beyond that azn over-competitiveness. be thankful you know klaz, and can easily reach him if you want some feedback/ideas/advice. you are overly negative, imho.
if you feel commentating needs to be a viable career option for you to put in more effort to improve, and your happiness hinges about whether or not your vids get rave reviews, then you definitely got into it for the wrong reasons. i'm pretty sure klaz picked up commentating and shoutcasting for the challenge and fun of it; that his quadv deal is an added bonus to the fun he has from casting.
you should take a break, as it is clear you don't find much joy in this endeavour now. perhaps you should have another go when you can give sound analyses of games and have a deeper understanding of bw.
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No matter how good you are at something, there will always be someone better. You must be able to accept this with grace or you will either paralyze or delude yourself. Treat someone better than you as a teacher and a reminder not to get complacent.
The best person to compete against is the person you were at the start of the day. Then the game is balanced and yet you can win every time. The way to get to the top of Mount Everest is to go one step at a time.
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"Wasting" time is the most enjoyable part of life; nothing wrong with it.
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On July 01 2007 10:29 Cpt Obvious wrote:
Man I really kinda like you but you are pathetic. Just relax it.
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I prolly shouldn't be posting in this blog but I am anyways... just a few random thoughts.
I kinda see/understand where superiorwolf is coming from. Yes you should only do stuff (like commentating) if you enjoy it not for attention, but at the same time, lets just be fucking honest, if no one wanted to listen to my commentating then why bother? Unless I had some kind of pathological obsession with the sound of my own voice it would be pretty retarded to make commentaries that only I would listen to. The whole point of doing it is when you feel u have an opinion or something that you want to share with others, but if everyone else tells you (by not listening) then why invest time into it. I can hear my own thoughts in my head fine anyway, I don't need to record "omg Justin is a lame cookie-cutter terran and I'm glad Reach gave him some MAN-Handling" just so i can play it back later to myself and go "hey I had fun saying that to myself"
The point of the above is that it's easy to rip on superiorwolf about not being happy that he is not being successful at what he's doing, but it's also hypocritical. I can totally understand and see why he and zalfor can get jealous (and yes zalfor, i've noticed all your passive/agressive, god I hate this dude but don't wanna openly flame him cause the tl.net community will flame me posts)
I saw the TL commentary contest and wanted to give it a try because I thought it'd be fun, and it was, but the encouragement and positive feedback had a huge role to play. Anyways I'm totally addicted to commentating because I've always been an opinionated bastard and as it turns out, some people actually like listening to my opinions.
On the doctor thing, been there done that. I'm a fully qualified doctor, I actually took a year out from medicine to "follow my dream" which was to work on my writing. I've got a book coming out in a coupla months but it's not fiction (fiction being what I want to write), and it was easy anyway and I knew before I even started writing it that it would get published. But the hard part is getting a novel published which I've yet to achieve and I've lost 5 months of my year already.
Somewhere along the way, between too many computer games, too much typing and too much computer use I've managed to ufck up my hands with RSI to the point where each commentary I spend hours syncing and uploading is actually fucking my hands even more. The sweetest irony here is that I'm a victim of my own success. If people had just told me I suck and should quit I'da been better off and coulda gone back to writing my Booker prize winning novel. Writing this post is actually a bitch for me because I've got so many conflicting ideas running through my head now... but anyways... here's a few points..
1) Only become a doctor if it's something you want to do. Not because your parents are doctors (true of most asian families) or u think it will bring you prestige. I went into medicine for the wrong reasons, sure I'm a great doctor, most of my patients and colleagues told me so, but being a doctor is hard work, and if you don't love it then it's shit. And as great as you feel after helping someone you can still go home and feel shit afterwards because you aren't doing what you love. Which is why I prolly won't go back to medicine at the end of my "time out."
2) Addictions suck. Doing commentaries is bad for me, but I love it too much. But looks like you'll get your secret wish. I've gotta decide what my long term goals are and focus on them (winning the damn booker prize), which means I need to seriously cut down and take a few steps back from the whole commentating thing. Which means that I'll prolly keep doing a few till the end of this season and then pull back from it. So you will have no competition from me any more and can go for it hell for leather, if that's what you want.
3) RSI sucks, so learn about it and be aware of it. If you are gonna use a PC 24/7 like me then make sure u got good posture, make sure you work out atleast 3 times /week as that will protect you and make sure u take frequent break and the first sign of symptoms cut back 10x on ur pc use. (all advice I failed myself to follow)
4) ur a kid, enjoy life, get a gf (or bf if that's your preference), you'll achieve something some day and look back at all this with tremendous embarrasment, but that's okay but because everyone has it.
Good luck either way.
As for me, I'm glad you made this post, it's a big wake up call for me. It's easy to say to yourself 10 times a day, "focus on your priorities," but it's hard to do. So anyways moral of the story is that I will be cutting back a lot on my commentaries and probably stopping (trying to) entirely when the season comes to an end, not to say I won't follow sc anymore (because I love it) and if the opportunity to cast something live came, I'd sure as hell jump on it, but I need to take a step back from all this crap.
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Thanks for the reply Klazart, I didn't know you would reply like this. Sorry if you thought I was saying that you had no future, I didn't mean that, it was just that I felt that way and plus, with your RSI and my bad vision caused by computer radiation, it's all crappy. I didn't mean to imply that you had no future. Someday I'll go blind because of this and I really don't want that to happen.
The point is, I was happy because when I commentated before, I usually only got good comments with the exception of TLnet threads. People on Youtube thought I was really good, and I was having fun as well. As soon as the Teamliquid commentary contest was announced I knew I was screwed though, because most people thought I had 'potential' but that I sucked atm, so I knew that no one would vote for me. I was hoping for the best though, that no one would stick with commentaries, but you stuck with it and you're hell of good.
I was happy at first because it was like my hard work brought out a good commentator (because my 'suckiness' made the commentary contest), but then you made the Youtube account and then I just got really emo from there. First you surpassed me in subscribers and stuff so quickly and I had been doing it since February, and then my subscribers mostly stopped watching my VODs (I saw a huge decrease in views after you came). I got less comments and stuff as well, and then all this stuff on youtube, TLnet, GGnet that got me really angry.
What I think is my problem is that at this point I only do the commentaries for the good comments. I became really jealous because you were the only person getting most of the good comments and I felt that I had just wasted months of my life.
"but the encouragement and positive feedback had a huge role to play"
This was one of my main reasons that I kept doing it, everytime I released a VOD I waited for the youtube to process it and I waited and waited and when I got the first comments or so I felt really happy, everytime I would ride my bike back from school really fast to see what new comments I got.
I really appreciate your post because it gives me a lot of advice that I need, just like the other posts in my blog (like Physician's). I'll probably look back at my 14 year old time just like I sometimes look back when I was 8 years old, and remember how stupid I was and didn't understand anything.
1) Being a doctor is something I really want to do because I feel happy when I help someone or contribute to the community. I know it's hard work because my parents are always busy and they are working a lot, also you need to persist hard in Highschool / College / Medical School.
2) Yes, this addiction sucks. My eyesight deteriorating, grades slightly, also I never feel like I'm accomplishing anything. You're right about the long term goals, which I need to focus on. Every time I have some few aspirations but they all aren't something that I really need, for example (these were taken from my journal)
a - commentate with Tasteless
b - become good enough in Starcraft to go to WCG when older
c - create a game
d - good grades
As you can see, 3 of them were game related :/
5) the one thing I have to say is that I don't want you to quit your commentaries. I was totally immature as always when I said that I didn't like you, but anyways. You are good at commentaries, better than Tasteless (not like he does them anymore anyways). I would love to see you at WCG commentating, because that would be awesome (though I would like to see Tasteless as well because he is still a good commentator).
You are good at commentating and I don't think you should quit it it was just that I am really jealous of you. I know that it's bad for your health and your long term goals as well but according to pretty much everything you are someone that people enjoy listening to. Take a step back if you have to, but even I don't want you to quit (though I want some good attention as well, but that's really selfish).
I know full well that I'm being immature and selfish when I say these things and want these things but it's true. Thanks for posting this blog, also I apologize if I offended you in any way.
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Hey SuperiorWolf,
All you need is to keep doing your good work. If you love doing something, you will do best anyway. But just don't do it because you need an attention. You will be fine. Just never give up easily. Many successful people do respect others and never getting too emotional. =)
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hey superior wolf
sorry but klazert is so much better then you.
there's not alot you can do except wish him luck because everyone else wants to hear him and not your voice.
klazert has class, charisma, kindness and the ability to be funny all wrapped into one.
you just cant match him, in no way is this meant to belittle you, its just what everyone thinks.
i recommend that you stop commentating and instead just watch his VODS like we all do, and enjoy them. give up your dreams of commentating and become a regular peon like us. you're no different. getting a girlfriend is a hard task but maybe start working on that too. but see what happens ok! first kiss? ^_^ its coming soon i bet...
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I, for one, really like your commentaries man, as well as klazarts. There is a few thigs that i would like to comment here
1) Of course klazarts commentaries are better, he is much older and experienced, you are really young still....and for your age you are commentating goddam well. You will only get better and better with time. I am positive of that. Don't give up.
2) I think that people, when they post comments online, it is really easy to tell someone off and be mean. Such comments should not be taken seriously. Who are they to say shit like that about your comments? constructive criticism is one thing, but telling you to quit end etc that is just stupid. If you hate superiorwolf's commentaries that is your problem, no1 will ever force you to listen to it. On the other side there are a lot of people, like me, who like it a lot, and think it is cool and gutsy of the kid to make his comments public, as an effort to help the sc community.
Keep those commentaries coming man, It is so much better to watch SC with you guys commentating.
Thank you.
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idk what to say to your post conan, pretty dissapointed that you would feel that way .
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you just gotta add little tricks to your commentaries... like random keyboard sounds and pop ups
or just hold it off 'til your balls drop or something
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perhaps im overlooking the fact the guy is 14 years old
but if you dont drop this attitude, you will never make it past med school.
if you cant hack losing a popularity contest on the internet, how can you expect to handle having patients die on you?
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Teenage angst right there.
tough it out
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At this point, your earnestness is endearing, but be careful. As someone who took everything extremely seriously at your age, I can tell you that it's easy to fall into the trap of demanding attention and respect instead of commanding them. If you care, sit down away from your computer, with a real notebook and a piece of paper and make a list of the reasons why you think Klaz is better than you at commentating (I don't know, I haven't heard either of you), and then figure out what you need to do in those areas. I have a feeling that your voice isn't the problem, it just sounds like you have less experience and understanding about the game. Have you tried writing a script for yourself, or at least notes? Just work to improve, if you care, just to have the experience of putting your mind to something and getting better at it. But if you really want people to "like you" or whatever, the first thing to do is to play it cool, relax, and don't show them that you care. Just do what you do, don't do anything that stresses you out (because it's not worth it) and hopefully if it's good people will listen to it. If it's not, they won't. And you can't expect anything other than that.
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EPT
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