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I've been thinking about a lot of things lately and I haven't been very happy. First I should probably discuss the Starcraft community again. The thought of quitting crossed my mind again, but I still want to commentate... it's just that Klazart is here. The truth is, I'm really jealous of Klazart. So much to the point that I don't like him. Not because he's a bad person or something, he's a great person. He is nice, never bm like me and not immature. Right now I'm being immature because I am extremely jealous that he's getting somewhere with this commentary stuff and I am not. Klazart appreciation thread on TLnet, GGnet, Youtube. Klazart: Sometimes I just wish I was you, and I know that it's immature to be so jealous but I can't help it.
The one thing I have to say is I felt it was necessary to quit because I, for one, cannot handle competition (that's actually better than me). Also, what future does commentating hold? Klazart is on QuadV, but I don't see how commentating on a team can get you that far in life anyways, even if they give you a salary. At this point, e-sports is not too popular other than in Korea, so commentating isn't that popular either. In a few years it may become huge in other parts of the world, but still the pay won't be that good, will it? That's why I think it doesn't have a very bright future. I have always wanted to become a doctor. Both my parents are doctors and my older brother is going to finish college soon and go to medical school. Spending so much time addicted to Starcraft and commentating as well has also really damaged my future already. Instead of being a straight A student, I am now straight A's and one B+ (for both semesters), which is really bad in my standards. It's damaging my eyes as well. I have a thing called 'ghosting' which is an eye condition and I'm pretty sure it is caused by computer over-usage. The doctor prescribed fake tears but it didn't work. Also damaging me physically because I don't get out as much.
These are all the cons of spending so much time doing this.
You know, the past week I've been so busy in China with my family that I could barely get to the computer. My grandma's house doesn't even have a computer and that's where I stayed. I felt fine even though there was no computer because I was having fun. Unlike sometimes when my parents lock the door I feel really bored. Also whenever I am using the computer, looking at TLnet and whatever, I always feel that I'm not accomplishing anything, not getting anything done. That's another thing that I hate now.
It's like I was having more fun without the computer than with it, and it's made me start wondering if I really needed to be so addicted to Starcraft. What's the benefits of it? I watch progamers play, commentate, wish I could be better in commentating or playing in SC, have some fun but not that much because the knowledge that I am damaging myself is always nagging on my shoulder.
I actually had thoughts of pretending that I died and have TLnet somehow figure out that I 'died' and then when I got a lower voice I would come back, which brings me back to my third point. Why can't I just get a low voice? Apparently in China, a boy with longer hair than a buzz cut and has a high voice is a girl. Seriously. 5 people in Shanghai thought I was a girl and right now I'm in Fuzhou and soooo many old people think I'm a girl. It's freaking annoying. My parents and myself want me to get a low voice, but it just won't come, which really screws me over.
Another thing about commentating - You guys told me to go more indepth. I was listening to Klazart's VODs the other day and I was like... you want me to do that? "he needs to do this, he needs to do that, break out of contain and needs to expand". All of that isn't 'hard' strategical analysis. People were telling me to talk about specific build orders, timings and midgame to late game transitions, early game to midgame transitions, etc. Now, zerg and toss build orders I am relatively familiar at this point, but of course all the rest of the stuff I can't do. But I can easily say 'he needs to break out of this contain and start expanding, because the enemy will establish map dominance giving him a huge edge economically', or 'at this point he needs to use the mutas extremely efficiently because it may be his last hope. He needs to keep the enemy inside his base until his own defense is up to fend off those marines and medics.'
Now I forgot something I wanted to say earlier, but these are a lot of the things I have been thinking recently. Manifesto is gonna come and be like 'lol noob' but I don't care because this is how I feel. What else sucks? I have a pretty laggy internet here in China, and I'm stuck here for a month. I guess it means that I'm supposed to spend more time with my family, because I'm getting screwed over by being addicted anyways.
Alright, so now let me talk about something happy. I can start my commentaries again. Someone PMed me on youtube and asked when I was going to make a new commentary because it's been so long, and that was pretty nice. Eh, yeah.
I'll be adding more stuff to this later, I have so many more things to say but I forgot.
  
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Canada7170 Posts
About your voice. Don't stress it. It'll come. If not, take up voice. There's a big demand for high tenors.
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lol noob
I'm just kidding. But, dude, you're 14. This is an internet forum- not your life. The people here (for the most part) are much older than you.
There are lots of other things to do, besides seek approval in an anonymous forum. You do not have to be perfect. Straight A's and a B(do you really need to add the "+" in here?) is NOT bad.
Go outside. Read a book. There's a whole world out there. Get some perspective (fresh air would be nice too)
And, dude, make commentaries if you like to! 'cuz... if you're always competing...
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grow out your hair like a fob right
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if i were you, i would just give up commentating. try playing a real sport. those are fun also. or learn an instrument. you can really only do those when you're young.
take pleasure in knowing that you're at an age where learning things is the easiest and fastest and that klazart is already past that point. even though Klazart is a better commentator now, you have much more potential to be the next roger federer or picasso or yo-yo ma...unless you waste all your time on something stupid.
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dude, screw klaz. i hate his commenting too lol.
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On June 30 2007 21:34 geometryb wrote:
if i were you, i would just give up commentating. try playing a real sport. those are fun also. or learn an instrument. you can really only do those when you're young.
take pleasure in knowing that you're at an age where learning things is the easiest and fastest and that klazart is already past that point. even though Klazart is a better commentator now, you have much more potential to be the next roger federer or picasso or yo-yo ma...unless you waste all your time on something stupid.
Haha, I play piano, clarinet, keyboard, I play basketball and pingpong and volleyball and baseball... but ever since I've started this I have been doing them so much less. T_T
Also I am fluent speaking Chinese, fluent English and learning Spanish :/
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Austin10831 Posts
I don't even listen to commentaries, and I think you should quit.
You're far too emotionally invested in the fleeting favor of this community. The fact that you resent this klazart person so much is actually quite frightening. I mean, if you're cognizant of the fact that you're acting immature, why are you on here talking about it? It just seems like you're trying to garner the attention here that your commentaries don't get.
The fact that you wanted to pretend you died should be enough to tell you that you're really not ready for this type of mutual social relationship. You can't handle not being the best, and you have this passive-aggressive way of rationalizing your whole situation.
The worst thing is, I think you already know all this. I think you can't help it because you're addicted to attention, and all this puerile internet drama is the perfect fix. You need to separate yourself from all of it, and give yourself a little time to grow, gain perspective, and get that deep voice you want.
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/150196/voice_modulator/
just joking, but mind you there is such a thing..
the only way to get better at anything is to put in the time and the effort and you simply will - but make sure though that is what you like and want to be doing; as for your voice it will get lower as u age, give it time. There will always be people that do something better than you - and I mean at everything you can possibly imagine yourself doing in life, and I really mean always! If you think like this you will end up doing nothing, even the things you enjoy.
If your voice worries you that much in your vods you can use this program (or one like it) while you are waiting for chest to fill up with hairs (figuratively speaking):
http://www.audio4fun.com/voice-changer.htm
"I guess it means that I'm supposed to spend more time with my family"
the answer to that is always yes. Only the foolish ignore their family.
"Manifesto is gonna come and be like 'lol noob' "
dude I doubt he will; he is running around with bags of diapers making ends meet when he is not killing spiders, posting at teamliquid or hammering English to Japanese kids - u seem to look up to him so at least emulate how he tries to look at the bright side of life and do what he loves, just take it in stride man..
no one is perfect, not you, not me or anyone else - so bury those false expectations and live life with passion, do what you love doing and don't worry so much about how others judge you etc..
this is just my advice, not better or worse than the other replies left above - in fact, with the exception of Zalfor's ignorant opinion, everyone else has left good advice from different perspectives; use it ~
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Canada7170 Posts
You're far too emotionally invested in the fleeting favor of this community. The fact that you resent this klazart person so much is actually quite frightening. I mean, if you're cognizant of the fact that you're acting immature, why are you on here talking about it? It just seems like you're trying to garner the attention here that your commentaries don't get.
Agreed. Just don't make this your life- you're taking this far too seriously sometimes. Yes, your commentary will eventually get better, don't stress at how it's not happening right away, be patient.
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It just seems like you're trying to garner the attention here that your commentaries don't get.
The attention that I got was 'Another worthy -_- video' by "equinox_kr" and a bunch of other threads that were talking about how crappy my commentaries were, and they always showed usually my worst ones, and then people wanted to start doing their own commentaries.
The worst thing is, I think you already know all this. I think you can't help it because you're addicted to attention, and all this puerile internet drama is the perfect fix. You need to separate yourself from all of it, and give yourself a little time to grow, gain perspective, and get that deep voice you want.
T_T I guess you're right 
If your voice worries you that much in your vods you can use this program (or one like it) while you are waiting for chest to fill up with hairs (figuratively speaking):
I have a program (Audacity) but I also have a nasally voice as well as a high voice so it just doesn't really work :/
I guess you're all right but I just can't help it because I, ugh... 'You're far too emotionally invested in the fleeting favor of this community'
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Physician
United States4146 Posts
the program you mention, Audacity, as a voice modulator is chobo.. I just gave you an example of one software voice modulator out there that would do the job
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Experience. Klaz has a lot of that, and knows the game very well. Its like coming out of high school and being jealous of a guy with a six-figure income whos been at his job for decades.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
calm down, you really care too much
i wouldn't say give it up, but really think about why you're making commentaries if you start up again. you are doing something for a close-knit community built around a dying game, and the only reason it would make sense is if you have passion for starcraft and its fans. as it is you are really going too much for recognition which is perfectly natural but wrong for this type of work.
you're fourteen, uptight, and take yourself too seriously. look at klaz, he's double your age (think about what this means - more experience, more education, more social skills [the guy is married for christ's sake], more confidence) and on of that a natural. i understand how you see in his success your own failure but disliking him simply because he went where you could not just shows how selfish you are. how many others have failed to achieve anything with something they put a lot of effort into?
reevaluate yourself, stop making these bullshit justifications (you can't stand competition better than you? you're going to go nowhere with that), and quit whining about your voice and looks. fuck! do you fully realize how young you are? seriously moping asians that love doing it are one of the most annoying populations ever. when you first came onto the scene i was impressed by your effort and really hoped the best for you, but this blog entry is an incredibly cowardly and self-centered copout. have some dignity and respect for yourself will you?
there are ways to bow out more gracefully. channel your old determination into other things and eventually you will be the klazart of some other field.
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The future of commentating? Pretty sure everyone who has submitted vods w/ commentator in that commentator thread is doing it for fun or to help the SC community, not because there's a future in it.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
ya lol if what you do for fun = your future career we're all fucked here since posting at teamliquid isn't very profitable
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51284 Posts
The true answer is
life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
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Braavos36362 Posts
+ Show Spoiler +On June 30 2007 20:54 Superiorwolf wrote:
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately and I haven't been very happy. First I should probably discuss the Starcraft community again. The thought of quitting crossed my mind again, but I still want to commentate... it's just that Klazart is here. The truth is, I'm really jealous of Klazart. So much to the point that I don't like him. Not because he's a bad person or something, he's a great person. He is nice, never bm like me and not immature. Right now I'm being immature because I am extremely jealous that he's getting somewhere with this commentary stuff and I am not. Klazart appreciation thread on TLnet, GGnet, Youtube. Klazart: Sometimes I just wish I was you, and I know that it's immature to be so jealous but I can't help it.
The one thing I have to say is I felt it was necessary to quit because I, for one, cannot handle competition (that's actually better than me). Also, what future does commentating hold? Klazart is on QuadV, but I don't see how commentating on a team can get you that far in life anyways, even if they give you a salary. At this point, e-sports is not too popular other than in Korea, so commentating isn't that popular either. In a few years it may become huge in other parts of the world, but still the pay won't be that good, will it? That's why I think it doesn't have a very bright future. I have always wanted to become a doctor. Both my parents are doctors and my older brother is going to finish college soon and go to medical school. Spending so much time addicted to Starcraft and commentating as well has also really damaged my future already. Instead of being a straight A student, I am now straight A's and one B+ (for both semesters), which is really bad in my standards. It's damaging my eyes as well. I have a thing called 'ghosting' which is an eye condition and I'm pretty sure it is caused by computer over-usage. The doctor prescribed fake tears but it didn't work. Also damaging me physically because I don't get out as much.
These are all the cons of spending so much time doing this.
You know, the past week I've been so busy in China with my family that I could barely get to the computer. My grandma's house doesn't even have a computer and that's where I stayed. I felt fine even though there was no computer because I was having fun. Unlike sometimes when my parents lock the door I feel really bored. Also whenever I am using the computer, looking at TLnet and whatever, I always feel that I'm not accomplishing anything, not getting anything done. That's another thing that I hate now.
It's like I was having more fun without the computer than with it, and it's made me start wondering if I really needed to be so addicted to Starcraft. What's the benefits of it? I watch progamers play, commentate, wish I could be better in commentating or playing in SC, have some fun but not that much because the knowledge that I am damaging myself is always nagging on my shoulder.
I actually had thoughts of pretending that I died and have TLnet somehow figure out that I 'died' and then when I got a lower voice I would come back, which brings me back to my third point. Why can't I just get a low voice? Apparently in China, a boy with longer hair than a buzz cut and has a high voice is a girl. Seriously. 5 people in Shanghai thought I was a girl and right now I'm in Fuzhou and soooo many old people think I'm a girl. It's freaking annoying. My parents and myself want me to get a low voice, but it just won't come, which really screws me over.
Another thing about commentating - You guys told me to go more indepth. I was listening to Klazart's VODs the other day and I was like... you want me to do that? "he needs to do this, he needs to do that, break out of contain and needs to expand". All of that isn't 'hard' strategical analysis. People were telling me to talk about specific build orders, timings and midgame to late game transitions, early game to midgame transitions, etc. Now, zerg and toss build orders I am relatively familiar at this point, but of course all the rest of the stuff I can't do. But I can easily say 'he needs to break out of this contain and start expanding, because the enemy will establish map dominance giving him a huge edge economically', or 'at this point he needs to use the mutas extremely efficiently because it may be his last hope. He needs to keep the enemy inside his base until his own defense is up to fend off those marines and medics.'
Now I forgot something I wanted to say earlier, but these are a lot of the things I have been thinking recently. Manifesto is gonna come and be like 'lol noob' but I don't care because this is how I feel. What else sucks? I have a pretty laggy internet here in China, and I'm stuck here for a month. I guess it means that I'm supposed to spend more time with my family, because I'm getting screwed over by being addicted anyways.
Alright, so now let me talk about something happy. I can start my commentaries again. Someone PMed me on youtube and asked when I was going to make a new commentary because it's been so long, and that was pretty nice. Eh, yeah.
I'll be adding more stuff to this later, I have so many more things to say but I forgot.
i'm quoting your post just in case you edit it out
my advice would be that commentating is fun for some people, they love it, they do it not to get a career but because it's enjoyable. whats the point saying all that stuff about wasting your life and commentating leading nowhere, that sounded just like a cheap shot at klaz and the time he invests. it really wasn't necessary.
same with geo's post about commentating being "something stupid" when compared to potential to be federer or yo-yo ma or whatever. every single hobby or sport has a person who's great, whos to say Klaz won't make a living out of commentating and become the next news anchor, and whos to say he even wants to do that?
the equivalent of saying "oh im quitting, this is stupid and leading nowhere, even if Klaz is on QuadV it won't lead anywhere, im going to become a doctor" is just childish. people do things because they love doing them, don't try to tear them down because you can't deal with the fact that someone is better than you ate it.
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NonY, I'm already jealous of you but it's more of a 'jealous of Tasteless' jealous. How can I not be jealous of WCG america winner.
"oh im quitting, this is stupid and leading nowhere, even if Klaz is on QuadV it won't lead anywhere, im going to become a doctor"
I didn't mean to imply that he isn't going to get anywhere, I was trying to say that I wasn't going to get anywhere.
"people do things because they love doing them, don't try to tear them down because you can't deal with the fact that someone is better than you ate it."
I was enjoying doing them too, but every single time I tried to do something for the Starcraft community everyone bashed me, laughing at my videos saying I sucked and should kill myself or 'GTFO'. They were tearing what I liked to do down, and now that Klaz is so good I can't even try to do it more because at this point I get 0 feedback and everyone still hates my commentaries. I'm not trying to tear down Klaz because:
1. He has already established a large fanbase and doesn't care anyways.
2. He's too good at commentating.
3. Why would I waste my time to do that.
4. That's something stupid to do.
In my post I wasn't trying to imply anything towards him, just that I was really jealous of him and my true feelings about Commentary and starcraft.
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EPT
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