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Twenty Years Later

Blogs > Mizenhauer
Post a Reply
Mizenhauer
Profile Blog Joined February 2015
United States1830 Posts
Last Edited: 2019-03-04 23:56:00
February 22 2019 20:58 GMT
#1
I’ve really struggled to put this into words. I guess that’s because there’s more at stake now than in my average blog. I’ve done this sort soul-baring before, with the focus being the progress I’ve made and my experiences as an Esports writer. I’ve never written one like this. One with emotions and memories that stretch back two decades. It feels so weird to say this. It almost hurts to say it. I first picked up a Magic card in 1999. 20 years later I don’t think I will ever again.

Simply put, I grew up playing Magic. I made some of my best friends playing Magic. Had some of the most memorable times in my life playing Magic. I could go on and on about how much of an effect it had on me. Perhaps I’ll dust off an article I wrote in 2015 and post it here if there’s interest. There’s an argument to be made that Magic is the biggest constant in my life. I always came back. It didn’t matter how much time I spent away.

The last few years have been tough, though. The rising cost of cards meant that I was reduced to using a single deck. The remote nature of my home meant tournaments were incredibly difficult to travel to. Small ones weren’t worth the time. Grand Prixs were too expensive and too much of a disruption in my daily life. Magic Online? I used to grind it for hours, but my anxiety regarding money made it an impossibility. A single loss would send me spiraling into despair. And, while I gave it a go a few times, it never worked out.

I started with Arena during the closed beta, but I burnt out every time I really sunk my teeth into it. I don’t Standard anymore. The decks I fell in love with, Gobvantage, Cephalid Breakfast, Shortbus Slaver, Monument Jund, Affinity, they aren’t around anymore. Magic has changed. Wotc’s vision of the game is different than it used to be, and I’m just not a fan. It’s funny. When I play Magic Online it’s the money which causes problem. When I play Arena is the fact that nothing is at stake which makes all the things I don’t enjoy about the gameplay so pronounced.

Arena has changed Magic and I don’t like where it’s going. but that’s not a dealbreaker, though it certainly does rankle me. It’s more the fact that I realized my childhood dream of making it to the Pro Tour will never happen.




And now we come to the reason I needed to do a rewrite this blog. After writing it the first time and doing some reflection I realized that there was one memory from my magic career which stood out above all others. It wasn’t the weekend where I went like 21-3-2 or something like that and won over 1000 dollars. It wasn’t when I qualified for JSS Champs the first time in the basement of King’s Games in Brooklyn. It’s so obvious. It was always the first Pro Tour Qualifier I ever played in.

The tournament was a fairytale. I started off 4-1, but got paired against my best friend in Round 5. Instead of playing a win in which would lock one of us for Top 8 and eliminate the other, we chose to draw. That meant both of us had to win in the final round if we wanted to advance. I don’t know if I’d ever been more nervous in my life, but I sat down and managed to win against this random mono black homebrew. He did the same. I dare Hollywood to write a better story than that.

The tournament was already going better than I’d ever imagined when I left home that day, but things only got better. I won in the quarters. I won in the semis. Suddenly I was in the finals. If I won I was going to qualify for the Pro Tour! That needs an extra exclamation point and caps! IF I WON I WAS GOING TO THE PRO TOUR!! I was going to get to play against all those guys I’d read about online. The guys who I’d come to idolize over the past few years. The best part was I was going to have to play the mirror matchup and I was 4-0 against it that day. I called my parents, excited to tell them the news. This is where the the story sours.

Back then Wotc didn’t give you a plane ticket when you won a PTQ. They gave you some product and 500 dollars. That’s fine if the Pro Tour is being held in America, but the one this PTQ was feeding took place in Nagoya, Japan. 500 dollars wasn’t going to make a dent in the travel costs, especially because my parents didn’t want their 15 year old son going to Japan alone. They told me I couldn’t go, and that I should figure out some way to split the prize. I was so happy then I never realized how much that moment would haunt me.

I never got any closer to qualifying for the Pro Tour. I made the Top 8 at the next two PTQs I went to and missed some win and ins at another, but I never got within a match of making my dream a reality again. Back then I was playing so well and posting such great results that I figured it was only a matter of time, but that’s not how it turned out. And, as I think about it now, I know I never will make it to the PT. The game has left me behind, or maybe a part of me has left it.

Magic will always be a central part of my life. You do anything for 20 years and it’s like that. But I think I’m done. There’s too much in my way. I’ll still get chills thinking about the time I opened that foil Treachery, or how I drew my fourth straight Arcbound Ravager in the top 8 of that New York City PTQ, but that’s all in the past. There’s nothing left for me in Magic. It’s time to move on.


***
┗|∵|┓Second Place in LB 28, Third Place in LB 29 and Destined to Be a Kong
Dangermousecatdog
Profile Joined December 2010
United Kingdom7084 Posts
February 22 2019 23:35 GMT
#2
On February 23 2019 05:58 Mizenhauer wrote:
this blog still needs work. will finish writing about magic later.

Amazing.
Nakajin
Profile Blog Joined September 2014
Canada8989 Posts
February 23 2019 00:28 GMT
#3
On February 23 2019 08:35 Dangermousecatdog wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 23 2019 05:58 Mizenhauer wrote:
this blog still needs work. will finish writing about magic later.

Amazing.


What a trick, how did you made this blog invisible like that?
Writerhttp://i.imgur.com/9p6ufcB.jpg
HornyHerring
Profile Joined March 2011
Papua New Guinea1058 Posts
February 23 2019 18:46 GMT
#4
Quality.
oh, hai
BisuDagger
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Bisutopia19224 Posts
February 25 2019 16:01 GMT
#5
On February 23 2019 09:28 Nakajin wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 23 2019 08:35 Dangermousecatdog wrote:
On February 23 2019 05:58 Mizenhauer wrote:
this blog still needs work. will finish writing about magic later.

Amazing.


What a trick, how did you made this blog invisible like that?

You have to hold your monitor over a candle in order to see the ink.
ModeratorFormer Afreeca Starleague Caster: http://afreeca.tv/ASL2ENG2
ASoo
Profile Joined November 2010
2864 Posts
February 27 2019 00:39 GMT
#6
On February 26 2019 01:01 BisuDagger wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 23 2019 09:28 Nakajin wrote:
On February 23 2019 08:35 Dangermousecatdog wrote:
On February 23 2019 05:58 Mizenhauer wrote:
this blog still needs work. will finish writing about magic later.

Amazing.


What a trick, how did you made this blog invisible like that?

You have to hold your monitor over a candle in order to see the ink.

Instructions completely clear; monitor now on fire.
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
February 27 2019 06:56 GMT
#7
On February 27 2019 09:39 ASoo wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 26 2019 01:01 BisuDagger wrote:
On February 23 2019 09:28 Nakajin wrote:
On February 23 2019 08:35 Dangermousecatdog wrote:
On February 23 2019 05:58 Mizenhauer wrote:
this blog still needs work. will finish writing about magic later.

Amazing.


What a trick, how did you made this blog invisible like that?

You have to hold your monitor over a candle in order to see the ink.

Instructions completely clear; monitor now on fire.

You gotta skate
Что?
Mizenhauer
Profile Blog Joined February 2015
United States1830 Posts
February 27 2019 13:52 GMT
#8
This will be a serious blog at some point. I just realized it was complete crap as written and needed revision.
┗|∵|┓Second Place in LB 28, Third Place in LB 29 and Destined to Be a Kong
HornyHerring
Profile Joined March 2011
Papua New Guinea1058 Posts
February 27 2019 19:36 GMT
#9
Happy you decided to share then, enriched my life for sure.
oh, hai
Danglars
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States12133 Posts
March 02 2019 06:01 GMT
#10
On February 23 2019 05:58 Mizenhauer wrote:
this blog still needs work. will finish writing about magic later.

Is this a promise?
Great armies come from happy zealots, and happy zealots come from California!
TL+ Member
FFW_Rude
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
France10201 Posts
March 02 2019 07:34 GMT
#11
On February 27 2019 15:56 Shady Sands wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 27 2019 09:39 ASoo wrote:
On February 26 2019 01:01 BisuDagger wrote:
On February 23 2019 09:28 Nakajin wrote:
On February 23 2019 08:35 Dangermousecatdog wrote:
On February 23 2019 05:58 Mizenhauer wrote:
this blog still needs work. will finish writing about magic later.

Amazing.


What a trick, how did you made this blog invisible like that?

You have to hold your monitor over a candle in order to see the ink.

Instructions completely clear; monitor now on fire.

You gotta skate


That's what i wanted to write lol
#1 KT Rolster fanboy. KT BEST KT ! Hail to KT playoffs Zergs ! Unofficial french translator for SlayerS_`Boxer` biography "Crazy as me".
GumBa
Profile Blog Joined July 2012
United Kingdom31935 Posts
March 03 2019 14:21 GMT
#12
soO when is this coming?
To all the haters: you deserve to witness many, many more Serral victories, worthy of the godlike player he is.
Cricketer12
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States13972 Posts
March 04 2019 06:41 GMT
#13
On March 03 2019 23:21 GumBa wrote:
soO when is this coming?

Never. Miz realized Yugioh > MtG and is currently writing about that instead.
Kaina + Drones Linkcro Summon Cupsie Yummy Way
Mizenhauer
Profile Blog Joined February 2015
United States1830 Posts
March 04 2019 16:14 GMT
#14
Blog post is updated as promised.
┗|∵|┓Second Place in LB 28, Third Place in LB 29 and Destined to Be a Kong
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
March 08 2019 08:41 GMT
#15
This is amazing.

I actually went through a similar phase with SWCCG in college and immediately afterwards. Life got in the way, it wasn't as fun, and I stopped playing.
Что?
fiphand
Profile Joined March 2019
1 Post
March 08 2019 09:41 GMT
#16
--- Nuked ---
arioch
Profile Joined May 2010
England403 Posts
March 13 2019 11:50 GMT
#17
Great blog - My journey with MTG follows a similar path to yours but I haven't been able to vocalise my feelings as to why I am not playing it any more as well as you have.

Interestingly over the last few years I have been financially in a position where I could happily go back and play every deck and own every card again, but I have bounced off of it a couple of times when trying out the local FNM. Not due to the people or the atmosphere - it was always very friendly, but more likely due to the game feeling wrong somehow - I have no idea in what way though.
Destructicon
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
4713 Posts
March 28 2019 12:37 GMT
#18
After going through a few experiences of my own I can absolutely relate. I've definitely come to the conclusion that in life its far better to try then ever to be sorry for something that could have been. To bad your journey to Japan couldn't happen. Best of luck in the future.
WriterNever give up, never surrender! https://www.youtube.com/user/DestructiconSC
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