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I see you bought a class ring...

Blogs > Empyrean
Post a Reply
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
16986 Posts
May 27 2007 11:51 GMT
#1
...retard.

Buying class rings is always one of those things that struck me as being a dumb investment. Or at least one that people with brains which include more than brain stems don't tend to make. With the freshman "Ring Fling" [agh] just a while ago in which a nicotened/caffeined up salesperson gives out class rings to a group of drugged/pregnant freshmen just heightens my anger. Let's learn a bit about class rings.

The first thing we learn about class rings is that they are made of high quality metals - alloys, actually - as "Ultrium" and "Sunglo". Such rings are encrusted with gems like "Ultralite" (a February gemstone, as I am informed by the company's catelog), "Patriot Stripe" (catering to the rabid republican crowd), "Cubic Zirconia" (of 3$ mass-produced Wal-Mart ring fame), and the ever-popular "Padparadschah" (something most pronunciation coaches probably can't make sense of). Of course, if students want premium metals such as "Extreme Silver Alloy (trademarked, even!)", an alloy that contains 84.3% Silver in addition to the lump of metals grouped in "other metals", they'll have to pay premium prices. Which, of course, mean that they're obscenely priced and no one in their right mind (that's an important condition) would buy one. Think of it as buying a few ounces of silver for 300$. Except instead of being solid silver, there's a big hole in the middle of the silver alloy with random, cliche engravings (wow, I can get a guitar AND a basketball on mine!) and a big inlaid stone of "Emerald Green Royal(!) Cubic Zirconia". My thoughts exactly.

Of course, we then learn that the stones weren't actually mined. Rather, they were grown in a laboratory. So instead of that extra 800% profit on my "Cornflower Blue Hope Star Sapphire" going towards paying subsistence wages to poor African miners (have you ever seen a sapphire described as "cornflower blue"?), they actually end up in the pockets - back accounts, probably - of the company and their lab workers who use a process akin to those elementary school "grow your own crystals!" kits. My fears are allayed, however, when I find out that these lab grown stones are actually chemically and physically identical to real stones. So they're actually identical to stones of mined whatever-the-hell that is. Thank god they cleared that up.

I really hate class rings. Oh, and I really hate freshmen. So it probably doesn't help that these two objects of my hatred get combined into one massive orgy of stupid kids buying things whose raw materials cost practically nothing.

I don't know how to end this. So I'll just end it with that.

**
Moderator
SiZ.FaNtAsY
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Korea (South)1497 Posts
May 27 2007 11:58 GMT
#2
So are you going to buy one?
Karma is a bitch
berated-
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
United States1134 Posts
May 27 2007 11:58 GMT
#3
LoL, Nice little rant. I am saddened to say I fell into the class ring hype and purchased mine and then never wore it. Just get used to it though, pretty soon you'll be looking at engagement rings -- so it only gets worse from here.
thedeadhaji *
Profile Blog Joined January 2006
39489 Posts
May 27 2007 12:29 GMT
#4
w00t didnt buy one for HS or college.

azndsh
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States4447 Posts
June 01 2007 10:01 GMT
#5
hahaha, never bought one either

the thing is, it actually costs quite a lot of money for companies to market that crap into something that someone will actually care to buy
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
16986 Posts
June 03 2007 03:21 GMT
#6
Somehow I doubt that. The raw materials involved cost next to nothing.
Moderator
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
November 03 2007 09:31 GMT
#7
Rings are stupid in general. If I ever got married I don't know if I could handle wearing a ring all the time.
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
lugggy
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
450 Posts
November 04 2007 14:44 GMT
#8
I basically agree that the company that puts them out (herff jones) is a real jackoff company, because their product is stupid and it's basically a predatory use of a monopoly they achieve through lobbying and probably bribes. This is idle speculation but like you say, people aren't getting smart choices or what they pay for.

That being said, I have known people to whom graduating high school meant a lot to them due to their family's background, and passing on a class ring seems like losing one of the chances to have some kind of official memorabilia for the event. That's how herff jones sets it up, too, of course. Schools really should wisen up and do better for their kids than laying this kind of crap on them. Then again they probably get more computers out of it or something.
A little effort please, this isnt a forum for just posting every link on the internet.
Snet *
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States3573 Posts
November 04 2007 15:35 GMT
#9
i always thought class rings looked retarded anyway, actually most jewelry looks retarded to me, especially anything men wear, only accessory I can stand is a watch
Sadist
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States7227 Posts
November 04 2007 15:39 GMT
#10
men shouldnt wear jewelry

especially ugly huge cheap rings.
How do you go from where you are to where you want to be? I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal and you have to be willing to work for it. Jim Valvano
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