Anyhow, I don't have my blog and I remember writing my random thoughts on here.
I'm a 29 year old Canadian vagrant who's been able to make a decent living by doing random stuff and I'm about ready to fall into a career and stabilize but I don't know what, exactly. In October of last year, I met a wonderful woman in a videogame. At first I talked to her as a curiosity, because she was in Russia. Siberia, more specifically. She lived with her boyfriend of 7 years, she told me of their "plans" to move out of Russia, but that he was always at home and never made any effort to do anything, let alone move out of the country.
We started spending a lot of time together as friends, and she eventually left her boyfriend around February this year, she bought a webcam and we started spending even more time together on cam. I had always told myself that I would never do long distance relationships, everyone always says they fail, and that's when they live 3 hours apart. We're 12 timezones apart... Surely this would never work. But it seemed like everything lined up. I'm financially independent (but by no means rich) and able to travel, her career as an IT project manager is thriving. Our personalities match in the usual ways but also she appreciates my willingness to actually do shit, something which, it seems, was missing from her previous relationship.
In July this year, I went over to Russia. As a guy who's only ever traveled in the well-curated areas of Europe and never alone, it was a bit spooky. Language barrier, the "dangers" of a possibly less safe country... and the looming thought, one born of paranoia, that maybe she was somehow an extremely elaborate catfish who was willing to spend hours every day with me. What if she wasn't there at my gate when I landed, what if I got to Moscow and I was alone? But I walked out of the customs and there she was. We were in Moscow for 5 days, and then she flew us to Novosibirsk, in Siberia, where I got to meet her parents, her brother, and a seemingly endless supply of babushkas all eager to feed us. I gave them artisanal maple syrup, they sent me back with 4 jars of different types of artisanal honey for my mom. So far, it was the highlight of my 29 years on this rock flying through space.
I'd link a photo of us but I don't know if she wants her photo here, I suspect not, so here's something better
Anyhow so I could go on about all the awesome things that I did in Russia but the next part of our story is her attempt to come here. Suffice to say, Canadian immigration is not too keen on allowing Russians in, even temporarily, for fear that they might illegally stay on Canadian soil and refuse to leave. So our two attempts at getting her a Canadian "Temporary resident visa" failed. And now, I'm going to Russia again in February for a month, and if all goes well, I'll go again for 3 months starting in May with the intention of marrying this wonderful woman.
By the time we get (hopefully) married, we'll have been "dating" for less than 18 months, and about 14 of those months will have been completely online. Due to Canadian immigration policies, she won't have had the opportunity to meet any of my family in person, and most notably my mother.
This whole situation feels surreal to me, and scary too, to an extent. My whole life, my parents taught me to be risk-averse, to make the safe play. Ironically, most of my breakthroughs and the happy moments of my life were when I decided to do risky things, risky ways to make money, quit lucrative endeavors for potentially better ones and it paid off. Now I'm planning to do this, and shortly after that I'll start the long and grueling immigration process. Hopefully we'll be successful, and then she'll be able to find work here because she's highly qualified and has a lot of experience.
If I were to look at our story from outside it just seems absolutely insane, but at this point in my life it feels like something I must pursue. It's a thrilling adventure with an "endgame" that is not implausible because we're both willing to do fairly radical things (multiple long trips to Russia in my case, immigrating to Canada if possible in her case, and getting married fairly rapidly in both cases). But wow... This is different, for me, as I had been living a relatively uneventful life up until July this year.