|
Hey guys, wow, I haven't been on this site for a long time. Such a shame that I haven't kept up with this community. I did follow the CSGO team for a while but I also lost track of that, I gather it's been doing pretty well, at least fairly recently. Life happened, but I have to say I miss you guys.
Anyhow, I don't have my blog and I remember writing my random thoughts on here.
I'm a 29 year old Canadian vagrant who's been able to make a decent living by doing random stuff and I'm about ready to fall into a career and stabilize but I don't know what, exactly. In October of last year, I met a wonderful woman in a videogame. At first I talked to her as a curiosity, because she was in Russia. Siberia, more specifically. She lived with her boyfriend of 7 years, she told me of their "plans" to move out of Russia, but that he was always at home and never made any effort to do anything, let alone move out of the country.
We started spending a lot of time together as friends, and she eventually left her boyfriend around February this year, she bought a webcam and we started spending even more time together on cam. I had always told myself that I would never do long distance relationships, everyone always says they fail, and that's when they live 3 hours apart. We're 12 timezones apart... Surely this would never work. But it seemed like everything lined up. I'm financially independent (but by no means rich) and able to travel, her career as an IT project manager is thriving. Our personalities match in the usual ways but also she appreciates my willingness to actually do shit, something which, it seems, was missing from her previous relationship.
In July this year, I went over to Russia. As a guy who's only ever traveled in the well-curated areas of Europe and never alone, it was a bit spooky. Language barrier, the "dangers" of a possibly less safe country... and the looming thought, one born of paranoia, that maybe she was somehow an extremely elaborate catfish who was willing to spend hours every day with me. What if she wasn't there at my gate when I landed, what if I got to Moscow and I was alone? But I walked out of the customs and there she was. We were in Moscow for 5 days, and then she flew us to Novosibirsk, in Siberia, where I got to meet her parents, her brother, and a seemingly endless supply of babushkas all eager to feed us. I gave them artisanal maple syrup, they sent me back with 4 jars of different types of artisanal honey for my mom. So far, it was the highlight of my 29 years on this rock flying through space.
I'd link a photo of us but I don't know if she wants her photo here, I suspect not, so here's something better
![[image loading]](https://i.imgur.com/0Au8eGy.jpg)
Anyhow so I could go on about all the awesome things that I did in Russia but the next part of our story is her attempt to come here. Suffice to say, Canadian immigration is not too keen on allowing Russians in, even temporarily, for fear that they might illegally stay on Canadian soil and refuse to leave. So our two attempts at getting her a Canadian "Temporary resident visa" failed. And now, I'm going to Russia again in February for a month, and if all goes well, I'll go again for 3 months starting in May with the intention of marrying this wonderful woman.
By the time we get (hopefully) married, we'll have been "dating" for less than 18 months, and about 14 of those months will have been completely online. Due to Canadian immigration policies, she won't have had the opportunity to meet any of my family in person, and most notably my mother.
This whole situation feels surreal to me, and scary too, to an extent. My whole life, my parents taught me to be risk-averse, to make the safe play. Ironically, most of my breakthroughs and the happy moments of my life were when I decided to do risky things, risky ways to make money, quit lucrative endeavors for potentially better ones and it paid off. Now I'm planning to do this, and shortly after that I'll start the long and grueling immigration process. Hopefully we'll be successful, and then she'll be able to find work here because she's highly qualified and has a lot of experience.
If I were to look at our story from outside it just seems absolutely insane, but at this point in my life it feels like something I must pursue. It's a thrilling adventure with an "endgame" that is not implausible because we're both willing to do fairly radical things (multiple long trips to Russia in my case, immigrating to Canada if possible in her case, and getting married fairly rapidly in both cases). But wow... This is different, for me, as I had been living a relatively uneventful life up until July this year.
|
Really happy for you both, great blog. I hope everything works out. You need to trust your inner instinct, wherever it takes you.
|
|
|
On December 04 2018 09:13 Djzapz wrote:
Suffice to say, Canadian immigration is not too keen on allowing Russians in, even temporarily, for fear that they might illegally stay on Canadian soil and refuse to leave.
all the Russians i know work pretty damn hard man. Its the permanent locals that are the really lazy pieces of garbage. Can we send them to Russia perhaps? 
|
What if you moved to Russia? How crazy would that be?
|
5/5 for stalin's sister (lomonossov?)
|
On December 04 2018 12:36 JimmyJRaynor wrote:Show nested quote +On December 04 2018 09:13 Djzapz wrote:
Suffice to say, Canadian immigration is not too keen on allowing Russians in, even temporarily, for fear that they might illegally stay on Canadian soil and refuse to leave. all the Russians i know work pretty damn hard man. Its the permanent locals that are the really lazy pieces of garbage. Can we send them to Russia perhaps?
Russia will chew up lazy people, they're not too keen :D
On December 04 2018 13:50 ninazerg wrote:
What if you moved to Russia? How crazy would that be?
I thought of trying to go over there and work for a year or so while her application is processing, cost of living there is low and I could probably make a living. The problem is I can't speak Russian worth shit even after doing my daily duolingo for the better part of a year. I think I suck at languages. I can say "The cat drinks milk" and "The apple is on the table" if need be.
|
Came for the story, stayed for the picture.
I'm happy to hear these wonderful series of events for you man. It was uplifting to read
|
Living in Russia and being forced to use the language will help you learn it the fastest.
I moved to Guatemala and that's how I eventually got good at Spanish. Practice. Practice. Practice. And little kids telling you you're bad at Spanish helps but they a least would help correct me. Adults were always too nice.
So I say. Reconsider moving to Russia and live there for a year or so. If you could add being fluent in another language it's only going to help in all future job prospects. My two cents.
Congrats in advance on the wedding =)
|
On December 05 2018 09:33 Psyonic_Reaver wrote:
Living in Russia and being forced to use the language will help you learn it the fastest.
I moved to Guatemala and that's how I eventually got good at Spanish. Practice. Practice. Practice. And little kids telling you you're bad at Spanish helps but they a least would help correct me. Adults were always too nice.
So I say. Reconsider moving to Russia and live there for a year or so. If you could add being fluent in another language it's only going to help in all future job prospects. My twin cents.
Congrats in advance on the wedding =)
Thanks!
I think that in order to enter Russia for longer than 3 months, I would need to get a work visa and in order to get that I would need to secure a job offer with a Russian employer, I'm not sure how I would do that.
|
I feel you man, I am at the start of something very similar (only been at it a couple of months) and luckily our countries are much closer together and share a common past in some ways (so cultural differences aren't too big either).
Also, EU members, so no dealing with immigration (for the time being, until it becomes something very serious in which case it will be of course a shitton of paperwork).
...and it is hard enough this way as it is, so kudos to you.
Also "The cat drinks milk" on duolingo hit home. A fking classic it is.
On the plus side, you can never get bored, right? You can always teach each other the intricacies of your language if you would have nothing to talk about.
|
So she is not allowed to visit canada even as a tourist for say two weeks to meet your family? (I think it ain't important to meet future inlaws, it ain't their marriage, just curious).
|
On December 05 2018 13:56 Naib wrote:
I feel you man, I am at the start of something very similar (only been at it a couple of months) and luckily our countries are much closer together and share a common past in some ways (so cultural differences aren't too big either).
Also, EU members, so no dealing with immigration (for the time being, until it becomes something very serious in which case it will be of course a shitton of paperwork).
...and it is hard enough this way as it is, so kudos to you.
Also "The cat drinks milk" on duolingo hit home. A fking classic it is.
On the plus side, you can never get bored, right? You can always teach each other the intricacies of your language if you would have nothing to talk about.
I wish both of you the same luck that we had :D
On December 06 2018 11:14 JWD[9] wrote:
So she is not allowed to visit canada even as a tourist for say two weeks to meet your family? (I think it ain't important to meet future inlaws, it ain't their marriage, just curious).
Unfortunately not, Canada is very strict when it comes to tourists from countries that are considered "high risk for illegal immigration" or I don't know how they put it. Sadly, she was rejected twice. I had to submit a formal request for public information to the Canadian government to get the full explanation of he rejection and I got: "I have reviewed submission and purpose of proposed travel and on balance taking into account applicant's employment, income and family ties to country of residence am not satisfied that ties are strong enough to compel return. Limited travel which would otherwise be considered a positive assessment factor".
In our second application, we added information to the application, including: ownership of property in Russia, family ties, more financial resources, career plans in Russia for a year, and some other stuff. She was denied entry once again, despite having: gone to Moscow and back to Novosibirsk to get fingerprinted (Canada requires biometrics), at the cost of about US$300 for the flights and the biometrics, as well as the fact that she prebought non-refundable flights in order to have a return flight, which we were told would help our application because proof of a non-refundable return flight sounds good. It didn't help, and apparently that was bad advice. Overall we're talking about roughly a thousand dollars out of her pocket. Needless to say, $1000 is a lot of money in Russia. It's a lot of money to have "wasted" on a fool's errand, thanks to Canada's ridiculous rules. And the resources are not made at our disposal to tell us "don't waste your money trying".
My mother still doesn't know I plan to get married, I'll announce it to her in mid January, and I do expect a bit of freakout. I respect her and her opinion, but ultimately this decision is mine. It's unfortunate that they won't get to meet, really I've actually lost some sleep over this, the thought of telling her that I'm going to marry a woman whom she's never met kind of scares me, I can't imagine she'd outright disapprove but she's a mother, doing mother things like worrying too much. So I don't think she'll understand, at least not right away. But she'll come to terms with it, at least I hope so. They've talked through webcam a little bit so they're not complete strangers but yeah... It definitely would have been great for her to have spent the holidays with us... Alas....
|
Love has no limits; take the gamble; it may be the best payoff of your life; and if it doesn’ T work you can say you tried
|
Wow, thanks for such a detailed answer. Canada is stricter than I imagined. If your mum acts up, about you marriying a woman she never met, just buy her a plane ticket to russia i guess. 
Best of Luck
|
On December 06 2018 15:53 pebble444 wrote:
Love has no limits; take the gamble; it may be the best payoff of your life; and if it doesn’ T work you can say you tried
That's the plan!
On December 10 2018 06:11 JWD[9] wrote:Wow, thanks for such a detailed answer. Canada is stricter than I imagined. If your mum acts up, about you marriying a woman she never met, just buy her a plane ticket to russia i guess. Best of Luck
I know her and she would not travel there.
Either way, I'm going through with it. I'm sure she will come to accept it, ideally before the wedding but if not, it'll be after. They've gotten along well on video chat and she's seen how my life has taken a turn for the better since this thing started. I think it's a tough sell initially but she'll come around.
|
Best of luck to you guys! Nothing is too insane or impossible.
- A guy who has had a Mexican girlfriend for about three years.
|
Italy12246 Posts
Awww good luck! I recently went through a similar thing but from Zimbabwe to the EU, she moved in with me this last August and I couldn't possibly be happier that we took the risk. I actually had to go talk to a lawyer to figure out all the stupid ass paperwork but it really paid off!
|
I'm really happy for you guys! Glad everything is working out for you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
