EPTcreep·y
adjectiveinformal
causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease.
Therefore, you are both creepy and not creepy at the same time. Now, a lot of people responding to you here seem to think that you are "creepy". What I would gather from that is that when these individuals try to put themselves in the shoes of incontrol, in this particular situation, they think they would have an unpleasant feeling of unease. Tbh, I would feel unease too.
It seems that you embarked on a journey understanding this and looking for what the overall perception regarding a specific situation would be. I think that most of what could've been said has been said and much perspective has been offered. Your most recent post suggests you weren't looking to gather insight about yourself but the community, I think that directly contradicts your original post where you were asking to be shown a perspective that was perhaps foreign to you.
I agree with a lot of what has been said, I think the very first response does a good job of summarizing how I'd view the situation. However, I also think that you are generous and only meant good and perhaps got offended because you think that this isn't how you'd react in that specific situation. Maybe you think you'd be super greatful for the $500 in incontrol's shoes and that faith would grant you trust or further entry into a closer relationship, maybe this all speaks to your generosity and perhaps naivety. You may feel he was overly harsh, but harsh criticism is some of the most direct feedback you'll get (especially coming from someone you respect and with no reason to have anything against you, but if anything the opposite) so if you really want to take something from this, start by separating the situation and your emotions, there are no personal attacks here really, incontrol and everyone else replying to you know little to nothing about you or who you are, they are merely speaking to the situation at hand. If you take offense then chances are this perception of you may be more common than you think in your day-to-day, so this type of feedback could help to change that, if you care to.
Not toooo long ago in my early-mid 20's I had an epiphany of sorts, in learning about my pesonality and investigating about empathy I learned (as in I didn't just have the knowledge but finally it was clear and understood) what in retrospect seems painfully obvious - different people have different priorities and different ways to operate, they fall in different ranges within a large scale, that doesn't make them shitty, that just makes them different.
When I really understood this, all of a sudden I realized that when I was younger I was very pushy and would get unnecessarily sad almost to an obsessive degree when I thought my generosity, love or caring wasn't reciprocated in equal or similar quantities.. because I've always tended to overthink things this type of thought lingered and often send me in downward spirals, I assumed my loved ones just had better places to put their love and caring and that made me feel shitty, in reality it was just the case that maybe I had more to give than most in the first place.
When I finally begun to understand myself, I learned to better regulate my emotions, to be less impulsive and strive to understand how others operate. Today I feel like I am a good judge of character, I feel like I can hang out with a sociopath or an empath and enjoy it to similar degrees, without draining all my energy or banging my head against a wall that won't break - I can understand people's priorities, what currencies they prefer to deal in and what makes them tick. Attempting at understanding all sorts of people is perhaps my favorite hobby.
It may just be in your case that people are not as quick to trust, to care or to love as you may be. You can avoid being creepy by becoming a better judge of what a group of people deem acceptable, too little or too much, and this changes from culture to culture, too.
I'd say take a personality test, or do research on various levels of empathy. Independent of if it's your thing or not use it to really realize and internalize that there are many different types of people with varying degrees of emotion, or in different places in the introvert or extrovert scales, with different tactics, goals and approaches to life. But also to internalize that you aren't alone in the way you operate.
This is my perspective through my own experience, I've always been a confident individual on certain fronts, but for a large part of my life I resented situations and people for not thinking like me, or not caring in the same ways, I hold no regrets, but these days, I am far more comfortable in understanding that there's too many paths, that we're wired differently with different pros and cons to the approaches we default to.
I think you are weird dude, but everyone's different / weird in their own ways. And you don't have to change, really - You just gotta learn who with or when it's ok to be weird and when you may be overstepping or imposing your ways into someone else's way of navigating life, good luck.
