EPT
Actually… it’s past that time of year. I’m a little late with these. Blame moving across the country.
It’s past that time of year again.
Just like in January, we’ve reached the part of the year when a speedrunning marathon brings us the joy of beautifully broken and elegantly executed games for 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. It’s warm outside so this one must be Summer Games Done Quick 2016, the second of the two annual GamesDoneQuick events. As with every year, I eagerly anticipated tuning into the speedrunning extravaganza to see dozens of games being broken in all the amusing and entertaining ways that only speedrunners can deliver. As with every year, I found myself excited to see how high the donation totals for the charity event would reach because every dollar Doctors Without Borders receives from SGDQ and every donation record the event breaks feels like a personal accomplishment. Unlike every year, I did not have work during SDGQ, allowing me to watch an unprecedented amount of one of my favorite gaming events of the year. And so, as with every year, I’ve selected my favorite runs of the marathon and stuck them in a blog post for speedrunning enthusiasts to peruse.
Without further ado, here are my SDGQ 2016 Awards.
The Ministry of Silly Walks Award for Funniest Run
Winner — Jak & Daxter (100%) by Bonesaw577 — Sometimes you watch a speedrun to see a runner’s gaming mastery. Sometimes you watch a speedrun to see preposterous glitches that break and trivialize a game. And sometimes you watch a speedrun for its immense educational value. For example, did you know that Jak & Daxter is really about looking for car keys? Did you know that you have to watch anime right to left? Were you aware that the two protagonists of Jak & Daxter are Naruto and Pikachu? If your answer to these questions is ‘No’, then you should probably watch Bonesaw577’s Jak & Daxter run. Because sometimes we watch a speedrun to see the runner slowly descend into a sleep-deprived madness, the symptoms of which include chronic and debilitating Owen Wilson impressions. Oh, and there’s some good speed tech in this as well. Really though, you should watch this speedrun because it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen at a GDQ event.
Honorable Mention — Pepsiman by theboyks — Intentional hilarity should also be rewarded, and this year’s most purposefully goofy run was Pepsiman. Now, I’m not entirely sure if the original creation was satire or just an outsider’s perspective of America, but it had me laughing either way. Running a game with a ridiculous premise is usually entertaining enough, but this run also included great commentary, crowd enthusiasm, and someone wearing a full-body Pepsiman suit. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The Carly Rae Jepsen’s EMOTION Award for Game You Didn’t Expect to Enjoy As Much As You Did
Winner — Trauma Center: Second Opinion (Any% Normal) by Irisjoker — Every year I check out some games that I’ve never seen before, especially if it seems like running them would be weird or challenging. Trauma Center fell squarely into both categories. It turns out that this odd anime surgery game makes for a really interesting run, mostly due to the need for swift and accurate Wiimote usage. Speedrunners rarely have to contend with muscle fatigue and joint pain during a run (except perhaps in the wrists), but the jiggling, jumping, and jabbing of the controller required by Trauma Center makes physical stamina just as important as mental focus. Precise inputs have a completely different meaning when you’re trying to do them absurdly quickly while compensating for mediocre motion controls. Additionally, the game’s narrative is “anime as hell” and worth watching simply for how ridiculous it is. If you’re looking for the kind of speedrun you’ve never seen before, check this one out.
Honorable Mention — Escape Goat 2 (Any%) by Vulajin — Escape Goat 2 is a puzzle platformer about rescuing sheep from a dream-like dungeon. As a goat. It’s a weird game. However, the puzzle mechanics and strategies look really interesting (especially the “Necromouser”) and the whole game’s style is one that I really enjoyed watching. Admittedly, I’m also a huge Vulajin fanboy because he brings great commentary, perspective, and attitude to all his runs at GDQ marathons. All in all, watching this run made me want to give the game a try, and I’m not usually one for puzzle platformers. Give Escape Goat 2 a chance: it’s short, it’s interesting, and you might never have heard of it otherwise.
The Frightened Standup Comedian’s Award for Most Hilariously Short Run
Winner — Two Worlds (Any% Glitched) by Shaddex — Two Worlds appears to be a case study for the dangers of hubris. After touting itself as the “Oblivion-killer”, the game definitely had a lot to live up to, and the only way it appears to have done so was in the speedrunning community. I’m sure that Two Worlds wasn’t intending to be beaten faster than Oblivion (which takes seven minutes, by the way), but they still managed it. Shaddex’s run shows off just how awful this tragically-overreaching game looks right before he shows off how poorly it plays by beating the final boss within three minutes of starting the game. At least he manages to do so in a way many Dungeons & Dragons players might find amusingly familiar: by getting a bunch of rowdy townsfolk to do his dirty work for him. At least Two Worlds shows off which of the mid-2000s RPGs has the harder-working NPCs.
Honorable Mention — TASBot Plays Super Mario Bros. 3 by TASBot – While Two Worlds takes the victory for being both short and silly (two qualities I highly value in a speedrun), it’d be a mistake not to award the Honorable Mention to the game that took “gotta go fast” to an inhuman level. And I do mean that literally because the run was part of the TASBot Block, which (for those of you who don’t know) consists of games run by programs to perform tricks impossible with human reflexes (TAS stands for tool-assisted speedrun). So while a human Any% run might take only minutes, TASBot manages to complete Super Mario Bros. 3 in less than two seconds. Don’t understand how that’s possible? Well, neither do I, so check out this run and some of the other TASBot shenanigans. TASBot is usually a marathon highlight, and while it wasn’t as spectacular as usual this year, it still pulled off some great tricks.
The Pluto’s Orbit Award for The Greatest Long-But-Still-Short-in-the-Grand-Scheme-of-Things Run
Winner — The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (Glitchless Any%) by dannyb21892 — I’m coming to the conclusion that I will never write one of these Awards posts that will not include an Ocarina of Time run. For as many times as I’ve seen this game played, there are always new ways to showcase it that I simply adore. This year’s version is noteworthy because it eliminates the biggest problem I usually have with Ocarina speedruns, which is that they never really play through the game. Unlike the wrong-warping, Mido-skipping, Deku-stick wielding Any% runs, this year’s “glitchless” run (which is an interesting distinction in itself) actually shows Ocarina of Time in all its glory. As such, the run is a long one, but you get to enjoy all of OoT’s awesomeness. Even when using the game’s mechanics “as intended,” some really interesting and enjoyable surprises emerge, like completing the Fire Temple without the Red Tunic. Perhaps you’re getting tired of watching someone play Ocarina every year, but I’m not, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Honorable Mention — Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars (Any%) by LackAttack22 — There’s something incredibly compelling about Super Mario RPG. Most people discovered this when it was released on the SNES, but even now, as someone who has never played the game, I find its aesthetic, story, and gameplay to be incredibly pleasant, especially in a speedrun. I think it has to do with the strange combination of platforming prowess, minigame mastery, and RPG-optimization that all come together in this run. Super Mario RPG even lends itself to moments of incredible tension (read: Super Jumps) that put the room on edge and cause the audience to erupt in applause. Very few RPG speedruns manage to include all these elements at once, and they make Super Mario RPG a really fun experience even if you have never touched the game before.
The No-Hit Dark Souls Award for The Run with Perfect Execution
Winner — Catherine (Babel – 1 Player, 2 Controllers) by Ghoul02 — Some of my favorite speedruns have neither glitches nor tricks nor shortcuts. Instead they are about perfect execution, about responding in the best way to every situation a game throws at you and still doing it faster than anybody else. That’s the kind of run that Ghoul02 pulls off in his run of Atlus’ Catherine. Since I’m a big fan of Catherine myself, I was curious about how any runner could rush through the game’s weird narrative, but this category only applies to the “Babel” game mode, a series of co-op levels that consist solely of the game’s strange and stressful puzzles. After playing Catherine and being repeatedly wrecked by those same puzzles, it was impressive to see the runner respond to the game’s brutal RNG with poise and perfection. On top of this, Ghoul02 also plays both the characters in the co-op puzzles, showing once again how dedicated speedrunners are to perfecting the mind-bending requirements of their craft. Absolutely check out this run.
Honorable Mention — Mark of the Ninja (NG No-OoB Obake) by Vyreck — Many games lose a bit of their magic during a speedrun. In a standard Any% run of Mark of the Ninja, there’s much less “being a ninja” than there is glitching out of bounds, mowing down guards, and generally breaking the game. However, the “Obake” category addresses that by preventing its runners from going out of bounds, getting noticed, and killing targets that are not required by the game. The result is a fantastic run that is more aligned with the spirit of Mark of the Ninja than any run I’d seen before. As such, Vyreck’s playthrough is massively entertaining in the way that only a hyper-stealthy ninja playground can be.
The Anything Other Than Politics Award for the Greatest Race
Winner — Super Metroid by oatsngoats, sweetnumb, zoast, Behemoth87 — It may be blasphemy, but I don’t really care about the Super Metroid runs at the end of every GDQ event. I’m glad they’re there; the “Save or Kill the Animals” joke raises an absurd amount of money, and the runs themselves are usually entertaining enough. Unfortunately, I don’t have the same nostalgia for Super Metroid that other gamers do, so this run is rarely on my “must watch” list. This year is different. This year’s Super Metroid standard was a race that featured great runners, awesome commentary, and a nailbiting series of challenges that had the whole audience (myself included) on the edges of their seats. I can’t spoil the results because it would ruin the magic, but make sure you watch this one from start to finish. It proves both that Super Metroid is one of the toughest speedruns out there and that no race is over until the finish line is crossed.
Honorable Mention — Pokemon Red (Any% Glitchless) by Keizaron, Charlie Armitz, Gunnermaniac3, ExtraTricky — Runs like Pokemon Red are not for everyone. Glitchless Pokemon speedruns in particular involve a lot of invisible advantages, imperceptible routing optimizations, and precise menuing, all of which I enjoy, but I recognize that those elements do not have universal appeal. However, turning a run like this into a race makes it way more exciting. Add Pokemon’s penchant for randomness, a quartet of entertaining runners, and a couch providing excellent commentary, and you’ve got a run that absolutely deserves attention. It’s a long one to get through, but the race is surprisingly close, and the twists and turns it takes are a lot of fun.
The Genuinely Sincere Award for Most Inspirational Run
Winner — Momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight (Any% Insane 1-Handed) by Halfcoordinated – Were you looking for feelings this GDQ? If so, you should check out Halfcoordinated’s Momodora run. First off, the run is fantastic, and it’s even more incredible considering Halfcoordinated is playing it entirely one-handed, a feat many of us would consider “impossible.” But the true triumph of this run is Halfcoordinated’s inspiring message and palpable passion. There is a lot of joking, sarcasm, tongue-in-cheek tomfoolery at all GDQs, all of which I love, but sometimes it pays off just to be genuine. This run is full of that payoff. Plus, Momodora looks like a really cool game and Halfcoordinated plays the hell out of it. Get on board.
The Christopher Guest Award for Best in Show
Winner — Super Mario Maker (Blind Custom Team Relay Race) by grandpoobear, xsvArea51, lateyourpie, pcull44444, mitchflowerpower, Kronicsauce, Andy, usedpizza — If AGDQ 2016’s Super Mario Maker race was not enough to convince you of the awesomeness that occurs when complex creatives meet skilled speedrunners, then this run surely must. Looking at the Mario Maker levels conjured for this year’s race is akin to studying a famous piece of art. You might understand the spectrum of colors that goes into each painting, but the ability to perfectly employ each and every element to form a masterpiece is beyond the pale. These wonders of Mario-shaped creativity are only rivaled in entertainment value by the skills of the runners who “suffered” through playing them. While the levels were devious and sometimes heartrending (invisible blocks are a cruel mistress), witnessing the eventual triumphs of the players was as exciting as each of their deaths were painful. Even the format of the race improved this year, as the level-by-level “ladder” added far more tension and opportunity for both teams. Mario Maker races should be a GDQ tradition. They’re that good.
Honorable Mention — Braid (Any%) by cwolf20 — Braid is a weird, cool game that makes for a weird, cool speedrun. There’s a lot to love about the “original indie game’s” hipster-Mario aesthetic and extraordinarily complex puzzles. As such, watching those puzzles be routed and executed in such a way that the game ends in under a half hour is even more fantastic, and cwolf20 delightfully showcases just how flexible and powerful the game’s time-warping techniques really are. For every sequence of rotating puzzle pieces (which are a bit of a drag), there are three sequences of perfect jump set-ups and nigh-inexplicable time travel shenanigans. cwolf20 tops it all off with a great commentary that demonstrates just how challenging the routing, leaping, and occasional glitching can be. This Braid run is a lot of fun to watch, and it’s always exciting to see a runner’s dedication and showmanship pay off (get to the end and you’ll see what I mean).
Random Favorites
Donkey Kong 64 by 2dos — I don’t know why I like watching this game. It’s dumb and broken, but it’s SO dumb and broken that I always enjoy it.
Crypt of the NecroDancer (Cadence All Zones [Seeded]) by SpootyBiscuit, mudjoe2 — A fun race of a game I really like. That being said, if you want to watch a NecroDancer speedrun accomplishment, I’d check this one out instead.
Guacamelee: Gold Edition by Grimelios — If you like Metroid-vanias, this is a colorful and stylish one to watch.
Diablo 2: Lord of Destruction (Any% Normal Druid) by MrLlamaSC — NOSTALGIA HYPE! I don’t know if this run is interesting or not, but I sure loved watching it. TeamLiquid hwaiting!
Demon’s Souls by saintmillion — Dark Souls 3 is a pretty good game, so why not enjoy a game that copies so much from it?*
Dustforce DX (SS All Levels) by Sivade35 — When only dozens of people have completed what you can do in at a GDQ marathon, your speedrun is going to be awesome.
* It’s a joke, watch the run.
Even with how much of the marathon I was able to watch, I know there were games I missed and games I under-appreciated (probably because I haven’t played them). So if there is a run from SGDQ 2016 that you found exceptionally funny or impressive or exciting or heartwarming, please let me know!
Until I see your suggestions, I’m going to assume my choices are objectively the best.
But really, I’m hoping someone will tell me about other great runs from this year’s record-breaking Summer Games Done Quick. After all, I’m going to need something to hold me over until AGDQ 2017.
Let the (long) countdown begin.
