It's been a while since my last blog. Heck, it's been over a year! Anyway, today i was thinking about how my life changed and how i found myself... not exactly hating whatever I do, but just.. not loving anything at all.
I used to love playing magic, I quit my job so I could play more magic, but you know? It turns out I could not put many hours into it, cos i was tired of playing magic after a few hours. Then I found a job, a good one, relaxed schedules with cool workers. I loved that job.. now i hate every minute I spend there developing applications that mean nothing to me.
Long story short, I don't feel any passion towards anything I do. It seems that whatever I do, I do because I have to, in order to sustain myself. As I watched that "#WhyILoveSC2" video some guy said that SC2 was what made him push harder and harder and go further... well, theres nothing I know of that makes me feel that way.
So I just wanted to know.. is there any other person that lives without passion as I do? How do you deal with that? Are you depressed? I know that i do feel depressed sometimes, but other times im like "whatever".
If we're looking for people that don't have passions they quit their jobs for, and don't have a passion for their line of work, we're probably looking at most people in the world. The word 'passion' gets throw around a lot, especially in pro gaming. The people who do have a passion about something are quite fortunate, but for the rest of us, it's perfectly fine to just have things you mildly enjoy doing.
I would recommend shampoo bottle collecting. I feel that's something people could have a passion for if they tried it.
On July 24 2015 03:48 Chairman Ray wrote: I would recommend shampoo bottle collecting. I feel that's something people could have a passion for if they tried it.
That's finding your "purpose" in life, whatever it is. I think the best you can do for yourself is to find something that challenges you, allows you to be creative, and make a difference in the world however small it may be.
You have programming skills so maybe make an app that helps alleviate problems people face in your country. At the very least, if you make a good amount of money, you can splurge by buying expensive clothes and eating exotic food. That'll keep you entertained until you die.
On July 24 2015 11:04 Deathstar wrote: That's finding your "purpose" in life, whatever it is. I think the best you can do for yourself is to find something that challenges you, allows you to be creative, and make a difference in the world however small it may be.
You have programming skills so maybe make an app that helps alleviate problems people face in your country. At the very least, if you make a good amount of money, you can splurge by buying expensive clothes and eating exotic food. That'll keep you entertained until you die.
or use some of that money and help others with it? I don't think buying expensive clothes and eating exotic food will keep him happy for long but spending it on someone else and changing their life (even a bit) might do the trick
If your current job does not give you pleasure, try doing other things in your spare time, LOOK for those passions. Sometimes it does not come naturally, you have to find your calling first.
It seems that whatever I do, I do because I have to, in order to sustain myself.
Yupp, modern world, still the best version of slavery we had so far that i know of.
Also, trying to understand yourself from a purely analytical standpoint, is like trying to light the rainforrest with a flashlight. Sit down and try to feel, and do whatever comes to your mind, gladly you seem to have some excess time and resources.
On July 24 2015 03:48 Chairman Ray wrote: If we're looking for people that don't have passions they quit their jobs for, and don't have a passion for their line of work, we're probably looking at most people in the world. The word 'passion' gets throw around a lot, especially in pro gaming. The people who do have a passion about something are quite fortunate, but for the rest of us, it's perfectly fine to just have things you mildly enjoy doing.
I would recommend shampoo bottle collecting. I feel that's something people could have a passion for if they tried it.
passion for life is obviously about more than just your job, but it's really important to accept the idea of doing work that means nothing to you. to survive you have to contribute something to the world. if you're very lucky your work can be your passion, but as someone already said not everyone is going to have that, so you have to find passion elsewhere
it's a very real possibility that what you're experiencing is the social pressure of "achieving" - there's this idea that to be a successful person you have to get a better job, find better friends, buy new clothes and be gadgets, etc. this idea is everywhere in media, on TV advertising, even coming from your friends and family and colleagues. it's bullshit. i don't make six figures or drive a car, but i don't feel less valuable than other people for that. i lead the life i want to with the people i want to and i'm happy. things aren't always perfect, but that's life
if depression is part of it you should see a counselor, but you make it sound like it's less depression and more just "seeking" something. it's fine to seek a passion and desire a purpose, but there's also nothing wrong with just leading a simple life and doing what you want
there's only so much the internet can do to help you without knowing you personally, but i think you might be overcomplicating things. focus on appreciating what you have. figure out what passion means to you, and if you can't do it on your own ask people who know you or a counselor for help
You can try running like I did. It might not be something that you will like from the start but it will grow on you - just like it did on me. I find it physically and spiritually therapeutic, and now running and eating healthy is a part of my lifestyle. Cheers
Variety is the spice of life. Of course you will get bored if you are only doing one thing. You have to find ways to bring uncertainty and fun into your life.
You also have to chill out and be less judgmental. It's easy to get down about life if you're quick to fall back on the old 'everything sucks' mindset as soon as things stop happening. People who are passionate about life are usually people who are passionate about making things happen. Everyone else wants things to happen for them.
Of course you are trying, and you are making big decisions like career changes and lifestyle changes, and to me it sounds like you enjoyed those changes when you first made them. You just need to figure out a more sustainable way of keeping things interesting that isn't necessarily switching careers every year.
I wish you luck in figuring things out. Sometimes it's about bringing a lot of little things together rather than one grand idea that fixes everything.
On July 24 2015 03:26 Gleen wrote: So I just wanted to know.. is there any other person that lives without passion as I do? How do you deal with that? Are you depressed? I know that i do feel depressed sometimes, but other times im like "whatever".
I can relate to that description quite well. I never felt strongly attached to anything, I mean most things are interesting, yeah, but not something that brought out my passion. I am basically rarely really happy or motivated, but also rarely never deeply depressed. My job is ok and I do not hate it, but if someone would tell me to switch to a complelty different department in my company with the same salaray, I can not imagine myself rejecting. I just get the feeling from time to time that I really don t know what I am there for, and how the fuck I will cope with 50+ years of a boring life in front of me.
I basically decided for now to go on with that "whatever" mode. Cause as I do not really care much for anything at all, I just can go on not caring. Worst case I die without ever having really enjoyed life, but who cares. But what keeps me going is the simple thought that *maybe* *somewhen* I will realize what really motivates me.
So what I am trying to do is just to stay healthy, get a stable daily rythm, trying to socialize as much as I can and set me little goals here and there. Because I noticed, when I am doing well in my Job and Private Life, life is senseless, but quite nice. If things go bad, life is senseless, but bullshit. And maybe someday I will find sth. that motivates me.
And in the end there is always the realization left that human biology will keep you doing stuff and staying alive. Cause if well all would get permanently depressed so easily, humanity would have died out long ago
EPT
