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I put the ish in because this isn't some crazy story just a dilemma.
A girl I'm thinking/planning asking out just posted a picture with a septum ring and it looks awful just the worst. Thankfully I'm 70% certain it's not an actual peirced one (haven't asked because not sure how to respond to It)
The question is what do I say about it? I don't want to be positive incase she then gets a real one or wears it more around me nor do I want to be negative incase it impacts on our friendship/potential relationship. Nor do I want her to make it permanent if I don't make a judgement (her friends are being positive about it) I feel like it might be.
Next problem is if it is actually pierced how do I approach it because as shallow as it sounds I would not ask out anyone with a septum peirce and if I went out with her then she had it done I would not be happy.
Tl:Dr how do you condone a septum peirce without sounding harsh or offensive to her thoughts?
Go find someone new?
 
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I think the best way to solve this situation is to get a septum piercing yourself.
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Canada11355 Posts
Be honest with her in private about what you think about her piercing. If it's really that big of a deal to you then the only real solution is to talk to her about it.
If you were already dating, how would you respond if she showed you that she got a septum piercing?
nvm I agree with batsnacks
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Ask her how it's working out for her. If she expresses that she's not sure, then you can gently give your two cents without being pushy. If she says she loves it, keep your trap shut.
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United States4883 Posts
^ This man can teach you how to live.
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what Jeru said. Always remember someone else's body is their own and judgements about what they do with it are unwarranted UNLESS they are solicited. If she wants and likes it then your best course of action, if you genuinely like them is to try and learn to like it too, and if you can't just think of it as a (minor) problem with your abilities rather than anything wrong with them.
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United Kingdom10443 Posts
I wouldn't say anything about it unless she brings it up and then you should be 100% honest.
honestly though if you really care about this woman you will be able to look past a septum pierce, it should't be a big deal.
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Let's be mature for a moment - I can tell from your post that you are ready to settle down. You are ready for commitment. You are ready for an adult relationship. This woman is your soul mate. This is the person you are going to have children with. And therefore, this piercing is getting in the way of your very real destiny with this woman. She is basically trampling all over YOUR fate with this decision of hers. Tell her that love is about compromise, and compromise is about her not having a piercing because you don't like it. This would also be a good time to bring up other mannerisms or habits she has that you don't like, so you can correct them all at once.
Honestly, I don't think you are especially shallow - we all have preferences. I just think that maybe you aren't using, in this case, a very mature sense-of-self, relationships, or other people.
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United States44410 Posts
I don't know how she could have done that to you. What a bitch.
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On June 02 2015 21:53 Textual wrote:
Tell her that love is about compromise, and compromise is about her not having a piercing because you don't like it. This would also be a good time to bring up other mannerisms or habits she has that you don't like, so you can correct them all at once.
This should be stickied in the dating thread.
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Don't listen to the other posters. Septum rings are ugly as sin. There's obviously no future with this girl if that's her sense of fashion. You need to confront this issue head on and tell her that you're not interested in dating her anymore since she got it.
Be thankful she showed her true colors this early. Imagine if she had all of a sudden gotten a septum piercing AFTER you two were already married!
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You have the wrong attitude for treating someone with empathy or respect IMO..
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Had to look up what it is. Don't know how old you are, guess if she's 16 maybe its just a faze... if she is 22+, big red flag imo. People that put these types of thing in their noses are usually the special snowflake look-at-me-how-interesting-I-am that get highly offended if you don't 'accept' their 'individuality'/'specialness' so...
Whatever you do don't tell her you don't like her nose-ring thing, you'll have a bad time.
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Be wary of letting it go unchecked.....suddenly HEY HONEY LOOK WHAT I GOT.
![[image loading]](http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t32/bruteforce_ftw/Self-Portraits/2008/Mods/moopc.jpg)
I am generally against seprum piercings, I've yet to see one that really looks goodm but hey free country and all :D
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I don't think "condone" means what you think it means. Nonetheless, you don't really get to try to nudge people out of something like that. Maybe if you were dating, you can discuss these things, but if you're already trying to fix her before you're even dating, you're gonna have a bad time.
Anyone who's sense of aesthetics doesn't preclude septum piercings by default is fucked and will screw around with their appearance in absurd ways.
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On June 03 2015 11:13 Djzapz wrote:
I don't think "condone" means what you think it means. Nonetheless, you don't really get to try to nudge people out of something like that. Maybe if you were dating, you can discuss these things, but if you're already trying to fix her before you're even dating, you're gonna have a bad time.
Anyone who's sense of aesthetics doesn't preclude septum piercings by default is fucked and will screw around with their appearance in absurd ways.
whats wrong with having some fun !
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On June 04 2015 10:07 Acer.Scarlett` wrote:Show nested quote +On June 03 2015 11:13 Djzapz wrote:
I don't think "condone" means what you think it means. Nonetheless, you don't really get to try to nudge people out of something like that. Maybe if you were dating, you can discuss these things, but if you're already trying to fix her before you're even dating, you're gonna have a bad time.
Anyone who's sense of aesthetics doesn't preclude septum piercings by default is fucked and will screw around with their appearance in absurd ways. whats wrong with having some fun !
It's not allowed.
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Netherlands6192 Posts
I once took a piercing out for someone I liked, because they didn't like it. Regrets. I have them.
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EPT
