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Onekobold
244 Posts
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Alzadar
Canada5009 Posts
On November 27 2014 02:48 Onekobold wrote: Seeing her was really inspiring, because even though I was in a support group for transsexuals, I had no idea she was trans. It should have been obvious I guess, but she just seemed like some woman who had been in charge of wrangling all these crazy trannies. When she mentioned that she was indeed trans, it wasn't that surprising, because I looked at her and she did have these masculine features like her height (taller than me and I'm 5'11), wide shoulders, large-ish chin, etc. but they way it came together on her actually made her extremely beautiful. She looked like an amazoness, but she owned it and joked about it. When I see someone like that, it goes give me hope going into the future that things will turn out ok. Surely this is a big part of a support group, the opportunity to draw inspiration and hope from each other's successes. It sounds like you aren't really looking for the group's advice, but I can't see that there's anything wrong with just going to feel re-assured. | ||
BisuDagger
Bisutopia19320 Posts
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CosmicSpiral
United States15275 Posts
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Onekobold
244 Posts
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BisuDagger
Bisutopia19320 Posts
On November 27 2014 04:08 Onekobold wrote: Yeah this makes a lot of sense to me. I'm always trying to quantify how good or bad something is in my life, so maybe its just good to go because I like being there, not because I analyze exactly why I should go. Being transgender isn't really a choice, the only choice really involved is either transition or suicide. It's not the same thing as drag performances either, for those people it is a choice. For them, it's about bending gender roles and putting on a performance. They like cross-dressing too, and there's nothing wrong with that, but its not the same thing as what I am. Sorry if that was too heavy, I always appreciate people commenting, so please don't think I was trying to be rude to you. Not at all. I understand the difference. And I only meant you "chose" to accept the gender you identify with instead of denying it. I'm friends with both people who just dress up for fun and those who really identify the female gender. I know the latter can be difficult. Maybe you should contact Scarlett. She's somewhat of a hero in this regard. | ||
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Onekobold
244 Posts
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sephiria
106 Posts
On November 27 2014 02:48 Onekobold wrote: When I was 14 and I identified my gender issues and wanting to be a girl, I went to the internet to assimilate as much information I could find on how I felt and what could be done. What I found was tons of pictures of older transitioners, much like the people in the group, and it scared me so much that I stayed in the closet until the beginning of this year. I've matured a little bit in the last 7 years, so I don't blame anyone but myself for how things turned out, but I can't really talk about my anxiety about transitioning "late", since there are people there transitioning who have children 10 years older than me. It's also incredibly disrespectful for me to say something like "yeah the older transitioners scared me out of transitioning for a while because I didn't want to look like a man, no offense guys of course". Like, how can I even begin the contribute to that group without being a giant asshole to everyone who've only showed compassion towards myself? It got me thinking about whether or not I should come back. The group meets once a month, probably not next month because the date would be the 23rd of December, which I'd imagine is a busy time for people, so probably no group, and if I was to go back it would be in january. It also made my think about the whole point of going to this group. What exactly is a support group for? The obvious answer is "support", but that doesn't explain anything. What does anyone look to take out from a support group? For a group like Alcoholics Anonymous, the goal is obvious: stop abusing alcohol. But for this group, I'm already transitioning, I already have proper medical care and a supportive and encouraging parent, so why do I go? I don't have an answer to that question yet. When I woke up today, I decided I would go again, I didn't have a bad time last night, so I might as well go again I guess? Basically the same for me. I dont have a problem with older /non passing mtfs, but I feel like I cant really talk to them because it is like walking through a minefield. Which is also the reason why Ive always avoided support groups. I guess the main reason to go to such a group is exchanging experiences, hoping that those make your transition and life easier (I guess that ranges anywhere from "how to deal with people" to how to properly learn makeup). I do think that you can get those things on the internet nowadays though, which is definitely a double edged sword. Its nice to not have to deal with people irl in this context, some girls feel very uncomfortable and prefer to tansition in secret for a while, but it can also quickly lead to social isolation. Wallowing in one's own depression for weeks without human interaction is extremely unhealthy. Id also say that all kinds of support groups become toxic to most people later in transition. At some point, it's probably best to just be a girl and lose the (forced)identity of being trans. Especially the obsession about physical features has scarred a lot of people's souls permanently (including mine) On November 27 2014 04:17 Onekobold wrote: I have talked to her before, I asked her 2 small questions on the tl.net pm system. It's not really fair to her for me to ask her all these questions just because she's famous, she has to practice, not play 20 questions with me! I talked to her too at some point. She's a great person. But I think I didnt have the courage to mention gender, I cant remember. If you want to talk about those things, youre welcome to drop me a message though. Since I am silver league, Ive a lot of time to answer questions  | ||
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Onekobold
244 Posts
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