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I failed pretty hard

Blogs > SynC[gm]
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
SynC[gm]
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States3127 Posts
May 16 2014 04:16 GMT
#1
Well, took my PTCE earlier today... As the title says, I failed. For some reason, I didn't realize that the test could change format/basis in the span of a year. I went into the test thinking the majority of the test would be mainly on pharmacy math and the top 200 drugs, but nope, about 40 out of the 90 questions were about hypothetical situations such as "What should a pharmacy technician do when he sees Mr. Johnson suddenly start to bleed from the neck?" or "When you need to use a computer to report a claim and a pharmacist is standing in front of the computer while counseling a patient, what do you do?" I half-expected something for me to go wrong, like it always does, but the lack of math and drug questions were astonishing. There were probably about 8 math questions, and 4 drug questions, and the rest were all regarding laws, organizations, and situational.

After you take the exam at the testing center, the result shows up on whether you passed or not at the end. It doesn't say what score or how many you got right/wrong, but when I saw "Preliminary result: Fail", I put my head down and wanted to cry. The proctor must've noticed something was wrong, since he came in, logged out of everything, helped me up, and consoled me that it could've been an off day. Though I'm thankful to the proctor, it's just saddening to know that it wasn't some off day, and that it was just me not being prepared.

The hardest pill to swallow is me studying and working on passing this one 90 question, 2 hour exam for so long and dedicating so much of my time and to see it simply all go to waste is... I can't even think of a word, lol.

As soon as I get home, I lay on my bed, and couldn't help but keep thinking myself as a failure. Saw my final exam scores for school earlier today and saw that even though I aced all of my finals, because I did so poorly throughout the year, my GPA wasn't any better. I think, well, it's alright, I have friends that'll help me out and get me through this, right? Wrong. I'm one person out of 7 billion in the world. My "friends" are busy/occupied with other things, have other friends, and it's just me lying in bed on my own with nobody to ask how I did on the exam that nobody cares I took. Only people that might care are my parents, and even then, I don't need to burden them with my problems.

Maybe I am, maybe I'm not, but I feel like an utter failure right now. Not to my parents, not to my friends, but to myself. I always ask myself "why me?" and I've never asked myself that question more times than I have in the past hour.

***
twitch.tv/dizzywee
itsjustatank
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Hong Kong9154 Posts
May 16 2014 04:19 GMT
#2
consider other options in your life instead of moping around over spilled milk

or take it again, your choice.
Photographer"nosotros estamos backamos" - setsuko
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-16 04:25:49
May 16 2014 04:22 GMT
#3
You prepared wrong and failed

If you prepare right, you might succeed

Start preparing right and try again if pharmacy is really your thing

edit: In Starcraft metaphor, it's like you thought your opponent was going to hatch first on a 2 player map so you CC first, when he was actually 4 pooling you. No reason to ragequit because you chose the wrong build order. Choose a safer build order next time and try again.
AdministratorYOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS
BigFan
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
TLADT24920 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-16 04:25:04
May 16 2014 04:23 GMT
#4
I'm really sorry to hear that. You sounded really confident from the last time you mentioned it. Even the best of us have off days and just because you failed this, it doesn't mean that you are a less capable person or that you're a failure in any way. As you already mentioned, you didn't realize that the format changes and such. Don't let it get you down just because you happened to fail it. If you are set on being a pharmacy technician, take it again. You have first hand experience of what to expect and since you've done work on the math problems, you'll brush up on your laws and regulations for the next time. Don't give up! If it was me, I would tell my parents tbh. I think their support will only help you and you won't burden them if you explain what went wrong. If you're still feeling pretty down, feel free to message me if you want to just talk and such.

On May 16 2014 13:22 lichter wrote:
You prepared wrong and failed

If you prepare right, you might succeed

Start preparing right and try again if pharmacy is really your thing

pretty much this.

On May 16 2014 13:19 itsjustatank wrote:
consider other options in your life instead of moping around over spilled milk

or take it again, your choice.

while I agree with your advice, could've wrote the first line better lol.
Former BW EiC"Watch Bakemonogatari or I will kill you." -Toad, April 18th, 2017
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
May 16 2014 05:02 GMT
#5
Shit happens. Stay calm and carry on. If your ego is bruised, don't worry, it heals with time. Pharmacy is no cakewalk so don't feel bad.

Cheers.
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
EchOne
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States2906 Posts
May 16 2014 06:01 GMT
#6
That result on that exam is not you, SynC, it's just one event that happened in your life. Don't be afraid to confide in the people around you. Don't be afraid to learn and keep trying. You'll be fine.
面白くない世の中, 面白くすればいいさ
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-16 06:18:12
May 16 2014 06:15 GMT
#7
Strange for a test to change its composition so radically. Unlucky for you, at least you'll be a very well rounded pharmacist when you pass next time. Think of it as more of a build order loss, rather than a failure. Adapt to the new meta and try again.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
May 16 2014 06:28 GMT
#8
Dude, that really sucks. I can only imagine that feeling is like, 100x worse than when I failed my online driving test.
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
SynC[gm]
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States3127 Posts
May 16 2014 06:43 GMT
#9
On May 16 2014 13:19 itsjustatank wrote:
consider other options in your life instead of moping around over spilled milk

or take it again, your choice.


On May 16 2014 13:22 lichter wrote:
You prepared wrong and failed

If you prepare right, you might succeed

Start preparing right and try again if pharmacy is really your thing

edit: In Starcraft metaphor, it's like you thought your opponent was going to hatch first on a 2 player map so you CC first, when he was actually 4 pooling you. No reason to ragequit because you chose the wrong build order. Choose a safer build order next time and try again.

Yeah, maybe in a couple of months or a year from now, I'll look back and think that it's no reason to mope around and feel depressed and sorry for myself. Just that at the time being, I can't help feeling like I've made zero progress with myself after this. I just think I was putting all of my eggs into one basket, which wasn't a good idea...

On May 16 2014 13:23 BigFan wrote:
I'm really sorry to hear that. You sounded really confident from the last time you mentioned it. Even the best of us have off days and just because you failed this, it doesn't mean that you are a less capable person or that you're a failure in any way. As you already mentioned, you didn't realize that the format changes and such. Don't let it get you down just because you happened to fail it. If you are set on being a pharmacy technician, take it again. You have first hand experience of what to expect and since you've done work on the math problems, you'll brush up on your laws and regulations for the next time. Don't give up! If it was me, I would tell my parents tbh. I think their support will only help you and you won't burden them if you explain what went wrong. If you're still feeling pretty down, feel free to message me if you want to just talk and such.

Show nested quote +
On May 16 2014 13:22 lichter wrote:
You prepared wrong and failed

If you prepare right, you might succeed

Start preparing right and try again if pharmacy is really your thing

pretty much this.

Show nested quote +
On May 16 2014 13:19 itsjustatank wrote:
consider other options in your life instead of moping around over spilled milk

or take it again, your choice.

while I agree with your advice, could've wrote the first line better lol.

I was confident heading into the test, assuming it was mainly going to be on pharmacy math and drugs. I had gotten 100-90's on practice tests (that were mainly math/drugs based) leading up to the exam. Little did I know that about 50% would be something I probably spent less than an hour on.

On May 16 2014 15:15 Scarecrow wrote:
Strange for a test to change its composition so radically. Unlucky for you, at least you'll be a very well rounded pharmacist when you pass next time. Think of it as more of a build order loss, rather than a failure. Adapt to the new meta and try again.

I have no idea how it changed so much. I had several friends and acquaintances that took the PTCE coming out of high school that all said it was almost 75% math and hardly any "What would you do when...?" questions. I heard the exam can change formats slightly every 5 years, but I heard it changed 2007 and 2012, so why change all of a sudden?

On May 16 2014 15:28 Epishade wrote:
Dude, that really sucks. I can only imagine that feeling is like, 100x worse than when I failed my online driving test.

Funny enough, I failed my driving test the first time I took it too. Didn't feel as bad as I feel now, just felt annoyed that I had woken up at around 3:00am just to get to the DPS and take my driving test.

Just my predicament feels so unfortunate in every way. By no means am I saying that this situation is unfair because I studied and therefore, I should pass for putting in effort. It's just that I thought/hoped the the dedication I put into this was enough. Of course, others have it worse and eventually work exponentially harder than I ever will to get to places that only hard work can achieve. Hopefully I'll be able to get out of this rut pretty soon.
twitch.tv/dizzywee
endy
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Switzerland8970 Posts
May 16 2014 07:39 GMT
#10
Well it's a pity you failed, but don't beat yourself over it too much, it's too late. You can always take the test again next year. The fact you aced all your finals should be very encouraging.
ॐ
icydergosu
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
528 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-16 08:03:30
May 16 2014 08:01 GMT
#11
[as Wayne Manor is burning down]
Bruce Wayne: What have I done, Alfred? Everything my family... my father built...
Alfred Pennyworth: The Wayne legacy is more than bricks and mortar, sir.
Bruce Wayne: I wanted to save Gotham. I failed.
Alfred Pennyworth: Why do we fall sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.

also

“Don't fear failure. — Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.”
I am the Punishment of God. If you had not commited great sins, god would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.
MoonfireSpam
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United Kingdom1153 Posts
May 16 2014 08:38 GMT
#12
Think of this as a learning experience, but next time you can do better research (i.e. look up the place that gives the exam). Best of all it applies to everything so all of life improves.

I'm going to look like a dick for posting this link.

http://www.ptcb.org/get-certified/prepare - not 75% math.
SynC[gm]
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States3127 Posts
May 16 2014 09:36 GMT
#13
On May 16 2014 16:39 endy wrote:
Well it's a pity you failed, but don't beat yourself over it too much, it's too late. You can always take the test again next year. The fact you aced all your finals should be very encouraging.

Ahh, the earliest I can take it again is 3 weeks from now, but I'm definitely going to be hesitant to take it within the next month or so. Hopefully if I do ever take it again, I can get it done within the summer and get a job before my next semester of classes begin.

On May 16 2014 17:01 icydergosu wrote:
[as Wayne Manor is burning down]
Bruce Wayne: What have I done, Alfred? Everything my family... my father built...
Alfred Pennyworth: The Wayne legacy is more than bricks and mortar, sir.
Bruce Wayne: I wanted to save Gotham. I failed.
Alfred Pennyworth: Why do we fall sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.

also

“Don't fear failure. — Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.”

Haha, as a fan of Nolan's Batman trilogy, this made me smile.

On May 16 2014 17:38 MoonfireSpam wrote:
Think of this as a learning experience, but next time you can do better research (i.e. look up the place that gives the exam). Best of all it applies to everything so all of life improves.

I'm going to look like a dick for posting this link.

http://www.ptcb.org/get-certified/prepare - not 75% math.

I don't think it was bad that you posted the link, but honestly, it looked exactly like that last year around May. The blueprint may be a guideline of the curriculum that'll be on the exam, but my exam was not outlined as closely as it could've been. Not exaggerating when I say 40 questions were pretty much about how technicians assist pharmacists.
twitch.tv/dizzywee
dRaW
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada5744 Posts
May 16 2014 10:10 GMT
#14
Don't worry, Madrid will win champion's league.
I don't need luck, luck is for noobs, good luck to you though
Capped
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United Kingdom7236 Posts
May 16 2014 10:28 GMT
#15
You'll be fine. That's all there is to it.
Useless wet fish.
puppykiller
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States3130 Posts
May 16 2014 10:40 GMT
#16
Dude who gives a fuck if you failed. I broke my computer in half with an ax and do you know what I learned from the experience? Absolutely nothing.

The only individuals who care what grades you got are nerds. Nerds are awful and are scorned by all except other nerds.
Why would I play sctoo when I can play BW?
JohnChoi
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
1773 Posts
May 16 2014 11:27 GMT
#17
On May 16 2014 19:40 puppykiller wrote:
Dude who gives a fuck if you failed. I broke my computer in half with an ax and do you know what I learned from the experience? Absolutely nothing.

The only individuals who care what grades you got are nerds. Nerds are awful and are scorned by all except other nerds.

holy shit o_o
also theres two blogs about exams side by side
one fail, one pass lol
ETisME
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
12476 Posts
May 16 2014 11:41 GMT
#18
On May 16 2014 13:22 lichter wrote:
You prepared wrong and failed

If you prepare right, you might succeed

Start preparing right and try again if pharmacy is really your thing

edit: In Starcraft metaphor, it's like you thought your opponent was going to hatch first on a 2 player map so you CC first, when he was actually 4 pooling you. No reason to ragequit because you chose the wrong build order. Choose a safer build order next time and try again.

Lol I have little experience of bw and was wondering why a zerg would kill off some initial workers and then build a pool
其疾如风,其徐如林,侵掠如火,不动如山,难知如阴,动如雷震。
NeThZOR
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
South Africa7387 Posts
May 16 2014 12:36 GMT
#19
I remember that blog where you wrote how confident you are in your knowledge and that you can handily name the 200 drugs and do math questions... sucks pretty hard that you were prepared for those but not for the hypothetical type questions
SuperNova - 2015 | SKT1 fan for years | Dear, FlaSh, PartinG, Soulkey, Naniwa
followZeRoX
Profile Joined March 2011
Serbia1451 Posts
May 16 2014 14:05 GMT
#20
''In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. '' Theodore Roosevelt

So, head up, try harder, you will succeed next time. There is not life without fails and wins. One minor loss doesent makes u loser. Crying over 1 fail is waste of time. So, head up, take some rest and do it again. Only thing human cant beat is time, so spend it wisely.
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