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Active: 28953 users

Will serve as a member of the Presidential Guard!

Blogs > kaiz0ku
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
kaiz0ku
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Greece289 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-16 19:44:54
April 16 2014 19:33 GMT
#1
Well for everyone who doesn't know every man in greece is obligated to serve the Army for 9 months. You can stall it if you study etc but eventually you will serve.. that is probably the only thing that is 100% certain in this country ^^
You also don't get paid or anything. You just waste 1 year of your life there. But time wasted is not forgotten. We all create memories,friendships and stories to brag/get to tell for the rest of our lives.
Every male in his early 20s hates it and every male above 40 wishes he could go back again.. same deal as school !

But as you all know corruption in Greece flourishes! We will all serve but how each individual serves.. well that depends on who you know and what phone calls he can make. You might serve near your house or you most probably will we sent to guard the borders!
What i want you to keep in your minds is that you are forced to join and for 9 months you are trained to look and behave as a soldier but never to act as one. Greece has no money so we might at best fire 20 bullets each. What to we do then , and what orders do we take ?
Clean , cook , clean , cook and every OTHER BITCH ASS LITTLE THING THAT your superiors feel like making you do. Paint the camp , clean leaves, guard thin air & a bunch of other nonsense.
It is a place that plays with your nerves & psychology. Personality changes everything.
Example : i had to cut potatoes for 6 hours today , I WANT TO KILL SOMEBODY
i had to cut potatoes for 6 hours today , i met another guy that played SC II and had a great conversation.

But there are some places where you can choose to go that are different. The special forces for example where you will not slack but have a really hard time.
Problem is that you choose to go there, you have to LIKE WEAPONS and GET A KICK OUT OF THE ARMY.. so mostly younger & not that educated people seem to join those forces..

Well i am Chris. I decided that having a hard time is worth a beer with friends every 2 days or a night with my gf every now and then.. So i volunteered to join the Presidential Guard because you train and serve in Athens , What is this ?
It is the hardest and most honorable force you can join (The only people that will tell you otherwise are the guys from Special forces...rivals)
Many people know them.. every tourist that visits our country at least does.
[image loading]
Training is Brutal, 10 hours per day standing still , staring at the sun till tears appear..
The first six week you are now allowed to look at anyone above the chest , talk , smile , move ,sneeze , cough or anything else . You are trained to become a statue so that further down the road you can stand still for an hour and execute commands in a parade in the most perfect and spotless way possible.
The ones who make the cut will become "Euzones" or "Tsoliades" And their duty is to guard an empty grave that represents all the men that have died for the country's freedom. Shit is so strict that we had instances where a bomba exploded a few meters away and they didn't even move an inch.. they had molotov cocktails shot at their direction and still weren't allowed to even flinch.
It may sound stupid and it probably is.. but it takes a huge effort and training to accomplish so in the end.. Well you will be proud for doing it no matter the sacrifices.

Second video is better


I am only in the training camp for 1/6 weeks now.. 20 out of 80 people already quit..
I hope i make the final cut so that i can stay in my home town and make my 9 months more productive.. I haven't gone in many details but i would be happy to answer anything regarding the training etc
Let's see how it goes!

****
amazingxkcd
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
GRAND OLD AMERICA16375 Posts
April 16 2014 19:36 GMT
#2
I couldn't do this, but good luck on this!
The world is burning and you rather be on this terrible website discussing video games and your shallow feelings
lantz
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States762 Posts
April 16 2014 19:56 GMT
#3
Loved the satire!
SoSexy
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Italy3725 Posts
April 16 2014 20:01 GMT
#4
Good luck man
Dating thread on TL LUL
vult
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
United States9400 Posts
April 16 2014 20:46 GMT
#5
Good luck to you!
I used to play random, but for you I play very specifically.
hp.Shell
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2527 Posts
April 16 2014 20:55 GMT
#6
I won't tell you to meditate to prepare for your 10 hours because it seems like you will be doing enough of that as it is. But it might help to have some form of mental exercise to do to keep your mind from breaking down. That's all it is, really, aside from maybe a hurting back and hurting feet - an impatient mind that you must conquer - and once conquered you WILL be as able to protect as the legends say you will be.

Good luck!
Please PM me with any songs you like that you think I haven't heard before!
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States44114 Posts
April 17 2014 04:12 GMT
#7
Good luck! What's up with the black cotton balls on the guards' shoes?

On April 17 2014 04:56 lantz wrote:
Loved the satire!


???
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Kleinmuuhg
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Vanuatu4091 Posts
April 17 2014 07:27 GMT
#8
you are not allowed to laugh, sneeze etc.. what happens if you still sneeze uncontrollably? will you be fired instantly?
This is our town, scrub
kaiz0ku
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Greece289 Posts
April 17 2014 13:32 GMT
#9
The shoe weights around 3.5-5. kg
And the cottom ball is there because
a couple of centuries ago when the Euzwnes where still fighting
they had a hidden blade inside.

If you start sneezing while training you will get yelled at
or maybe face day in prison (Prison means you are not allowed to leave the camp)
If you start sneezing during duty.. Well more days!
By hitting your tongue with force at the top of your mouth you can
Prevent sneezing with some training
Kleinmuuhg
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Vanuatu4091 Posts
April 17 2014 14:02 GMT
#10
Well good luck then, dont end up in prison !
This is our town, scrub
AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-17 14:16:22
April 17 2014 14:13 GMT
#11
Any Greeks here mind telling me how the Presidential Guard looks to them? Silly, serious, odd, formal, stuff like that.

I ask because their marching style seems odd to me, especially when contrasted to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier guards, but it's probably just a culture thing. There's always a lot of tradition in these types of ceremonies.
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
Erik.TheRed
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States1655 Posts
April 17 2014 14:40 GMT
#12
So basically the government gets to siphon tourism revenue under the guise of "preserving traditions" through the use of unpaid and mandatory-conscripted soldiers?

Greece is a beautiful country with genuinely nice and friendly people, but I find it hard to believe that the government sees you as anything more than street performers.
"See you space cowboy"
FFW_Rude
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
France10201 Posts
April 17 2014 14:42 GMT
#13
Stupid question but it's kind of the england guard ? I don't recall they have military training but maybe i'm mistaken.
#1 KT Rolster fanboy. KT BEST KT ! Hail to KT playoffs Zergs ! Unofficial french translator for SlayerS_`Boxer` biography "Crazy as me".
[Agony]x90
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States853 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-04-17 14:47:10
April 17 2014 14:46 GMT
#14
My second cousin was in a similar position when serving in the us military. Its interesting, because they look for good looking guys that meet certain physical features, such as an exact height and weight. You become more of a literal work of art than a soldier, which is something I think is pretty cool. But you know what this means right? Op must be a banging hot dude.
JF dodger since 2009
Otolia
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
France5805 Posts
April 17 2014 14:54 GMT
#15
On April 17 2014 23:46 [Agony]x90 wrote:
My second cousin was in a similar position when serving in the us military. Its interesting, because they look for good looking guys that meet certain physical features, such as an exact height and weight. You become more of a literal work of art than a soldier, which is something I think is pretty cool. But you know what this means right? Op must be a banging hot dude.

Unless he isn't straight, in which case, it's more likely some hot due is banging him.
FFW_Rude
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
France10201 Posts
April 17 2014 15:02 GMT
#16
On April 17 2014 23:46 [Agony]x90 wrote:
My second cousin was in a similar position when serving in the us military. Its interesting, because they look for good looking guys that meet certain physical features, such as an exact height and weight. You become more of a literal work of art than a soldier, which is something I think is pretty cool. But you know what this means right? Op must be a banging hot dude.


Plot twist. OP is not a dude.
#1 KT Rolster fanboy. KT BEST KT ! Hail to KT playoffs Zergs ! Unofficial french translator for SlayerS_`Boxer` biography "Crazy as me".
FromShouri
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
United States862 Posts
April 17 2014 15:41 GMT
#17
Is the random kicking they do with their leg in the air some symbol of something or just extra flair?
Limited Edition, lets do some simple addition, $50 for a T-Shirt is just some ignorant bitch shit.
kaiz0ku
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Greece289 Posts
April 17 2014 16:02 GMT
#18
On April 17 2014 23:46 [Agony]x90 wrote:
My second cousin was in a similar position when serving in the us military. Its interesting, because they look for good looking guys that meet certain physical features, such as an exact height and weight. You become more of a literal work of art than a soldier, which is something I think is pretty cool. But you know what this means right? Op must be a banging hot dude.


Haha
We were told the kick represents Close Combat
LaNague
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Germany9118 Posts
April 17 2014 16:32 GMT
#19
unpayed soldiers, good idea. oO
GettingIt
Profile Joined August 2011
1656 Posts
April 17 2014 16:49 GMT
#20
So all the males in Greece have been or will be a slave for 9 months? No wonder Greece has a lot of problems.
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