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Hello people of TeamLiquid. I've been on this site for about 2 years now I'd say, for awhile casual SC2 into very competitive SC2 when I realized the potential. I doubt anyone will know me, but here's some background. I was on Under Rated Gaming for a year as a High Masters Zerg player and I was also their Academy Manager for a few months before leaving them to go solo. Basically, when I realized my love and passion for the game, I decided I wanted to go pro. I was in school at the time for Human Resources, but whenever I got home I always jumped on StarCraft 2 to play. I had ladder anxiety for quite awhile and that hindered the amount of games I played and inevitably my growth.
After I left Under Rated Gaming I enjoyed being solo, but it also made me realize that SC2 was not growing, if anything it was declining with the amount of people leaving the scene. Constant retires just did not bode well for the game, in my opinion anyway. So I decided to switch to League of Legends to try my luck there. I have since made it to Plat 1 in preseason 4, stuck now in Plat 3 in season 4.
I'm living with my parents and sisters at the moment and it's horrible. My parents have never been supportive of anything unless it's something they want. They are constantly rude to me, everything ends up being my fault. Since they are strict Catholics, when I don't go to church as often as them they tell me I'm pretty much going to hell. I asked my Dad if we could upgrade our internet for an extra 6 dollars a month so I could stream (which I said I'd pay for) and that was instantly shot down. I wanted to get vocal lessons and my mom instantly thought I was going to join a band and do drugs. I just enjoy singing to my music and I always want to get better at the things I do.
I have a fiance who is the only good thing in my life right now. She's always positive, supportive of my dreams, and always perks me up. I don't know where I'd be without her. She's also why I want to go pro, I knew that if I did really well I could make good money to support her and our future family and so she can be a stay at home mom (her choice).
Basically, this is where I'm at. For the last 10 months I've been looking for a job as I graduated college and found nothing. I've been practicing all day everyday of league of legends, probably 12+ hours a day and do not find myself improving. With SC2 I found that I could lose a game and instantly pick up on my mistakes, but with League I find it much harder to do that. I miss StarCraft, I was really good at it, but I know I can't go back, not after all the effort I've put into league (plus league is more lucrative). I have no idea what to do anymore, my dreams are falling apart before they begin, I can't even get a basic job so I can move out, and to top it off I have no help or support from my own flesh and blood.
I know this is a really weird blog, but I just needed to get this out there. I find myself crying quite often because things just keep falling through. Sometimes I just want to scream. I put such high hopes and pressure on myself and I get so annoyed with myself when things go wrong.
I need help.
  
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I have no idea on the job situation in Canada is it so hard to find a part-time job or a simple full -time job over there? I think perhaps maybe you should do league of legends part time untill you get really good at it then convert instead of just all-in
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Currently in my area the job situation is bad, especially for HR professionals (what I studied). I do have an interview next Tuesday, but apart from that, what are you suggesting? Since I don't have a job at the moment, I do League part time and then do what with the rest of my time?
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You could always move out with multiple part time jobs, even if the job is not that well-paying, since you have a lot of time. No more time dumping into league, because reality is, you're not going to become a pro. Coming from a d1 player. It's just time consuming and after everything is said and done, you have nothing you're left with at the end. No skills that translate to the real world. Just time that's gone, and will never come back
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It scares me that you have a fiance and actually think that your plan is viable. You are not going to go pro. Focus on getting that job. What did you major in? I would honestly just work anywhere right now until you get a job that suits your credentials.
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On February 15 2014 13:44 ProV1 wrote:
You could always move out with multiple part time jobs, even if the job is not that well-paying, since you have a lot of time. No more time dumping into league, because reality is, you're not going to become a pro. Coming from a d1 player. It's just time consuming and after everything is said and done, you have nothing you're left with at the end. No skills that translate to the real world. Just time that's gone, and will never come back
I agree with this. I think you really need to rethink your priorities if you're sinking 12 hours a day into LoL, with the aim of "going pro". Even for the incredibly talented few that rise to the top, it is still quite an unstable thing financially, judging from comments from pros over the years. The fact that you mention "ladder anxiety", and not rising to the top of ladder, doesn't bode well for going pro either. Put some effort into your relationship with family and fiance, then rethink where you wanna go with a clear head.
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I know a lot of you think me wanting to go pro is a stupid idea, but you're the type of people the stick to the norm and that's just not me. I want something different, I crave something different than the usual 9-5 job. So please don't keep telling me that this is a waste of time, because it's all a matter of opinion.
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On February 15 2014 13:31 VoiceSC wrote:
She's also why I want to go pro, I knew that if I did really well I could make good money to support her and our future family and so she can be a stay at home mom (her choice).
You say your family isn't supporting you yet you have a place to live and food on the table while you pursue a naive pipe dream that they have every reason to doubt. You're lucky your fiance is so supportive but she won't stick around forever if her dream is housewife and you have no income. Get a job.
On February 15 2014 14:24 VoiceSC wrote:
I know a lot of you think me wanting to go pro is a stupid idea, but you're the type of people the stick to the norm and that's just not me. I want something different, I crave something different than the usual 9-5 job. So please don't keep telling me that this is a waste of time, because it's all a matter of opinion.
All opinions aren't equally valid. You have to be realistic, unless you've got some remarkable talent and insane work ethic it is a waste of time and there's a reason the norm is so popular. It's reliable and supports a family. I bet your dad would've loved to play sport/games all day too at some point but he grew up and shouldered some responsibility.
Had to look up LoL ranks but seriously 12 hours a day at platinum sounds like mediocrity. I'm also not surprised you've had trouble finding a job (regardless of the market), someone who games 12 hours a day isn't going to be looking very hard or seem very enthusiastic/employable.
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I'll chip in with an advice.
So, I respect your decision of going pro, and admire the perseverance.
What you need to do, since you obviously have trouble dealing with the psychological pressure of all this, is to weigh in:
1. what you have now
2. what you aim for
3. how can you turn nr 1 into 2
4. what is your safety backup plan in case nr 3 fails.
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1. On the plus side you have a supportive fiance, a college degree and a passion for gaming and a strong desire to provide for your loved one. So these are already some pretty nice positives to start with.
On the minus side you mentioned crying, so low morale because of the psychological pressure of financially depending on your parents, and the feeling that even though you want to provide, you can't.
2. You aim to gain money so you can provide for your fiance; ideally, you want this money from being a successful progamer, but you mentioned you have also looked for a regular job for 10months so you can leave home.
3. About turning the dream into reality by using what you have - leaving aside daydreaming about "oh how nice would that be", what are the ACTUAL informations that you posess in order to become a progamer - because the amount of details you provide stops at "i am stuck in Plat". Problem nr 1 - why does 12hours of gaming per day NOT improve your skill anymore? How are youa ddressing this issue, do you understand where your playstyle fails and hinders your progress? 12hrs per day would be more than enough for anyone to progress even given a slow learning curve. In your situation you don't really have time to just "be stuck in Plat" - you have to be smart and find solutions if you want to go through this.
Have you entered in contact with other progamers, how exactly will you adress this? Are you waiting to be noticed by a team? any team shown any interest in you so far? What is your actual plan? Have you discussed with your fiance about the amount of time that becoming a progamer can take? Say you decide to give it a shot for 2 more years to game for 10 hours a day until you go pro - will your fiance have the patience to wait 2 years? Can she handle the pressure that she sees you go through, for another 2 years? What about your parents- how longer are they willing to keep supporting you, will they accept those 2 years of daily gaming starting from today?
These are actual questions that you need to face yourself with. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying you're unrealistic, i'm just saying quit wasting energy on crying and basically man up and have the courage to ask the questions and find actual answers - what you want to do is to turn this situation into better, not worse. "failing to plan is planning to fail". you need to know where you stand exactly and the shortest path to your goal. if you don't plan you'll just wander in the dark and lose what you have now too.
And make sure you inform your fiance clearly about your decisions, otherwise she will feel you're insecure with your life and that's not the hottest thing .
4. do yourself a big favor and have a backup plan - if your fiance is so supportive she is the best to deal with this - ask her opinion, establish together on what would be a good safety plan if you're still not a progamer after the decided timespan.
best of luck.
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On February 15 2014 14:24 VoiceSC wrote:
I know a lot of you think me wanting to go pro is a stupid idea, but you're the type of people the stick to the norm and that's just not me. I want something different, I crave something different than the usual 9-5 job. So please don't keep telling me that this is a waste of time, because it's all a matter of opinion.
I can tell you that I'm far from the norm by aiming to get a physics degree. It's hard as shit, hence why very few people go this path, but somehow I'm surviving. But you need to realize your limitations. If you're spending 12 hours/day and you're still not pro, you most likely don't have the talent. You need both hard work and talent to become a progamer, and it looks like you're lacking one of them.
You say you want to support your fiance, then make that your priority. Once you have that down, then you can think about going pro.
What xtorn said is probably more detailed and helpful. Unless you have a clear plan for progaming that will achieve you result in the near future, focus more on getting your shit together first.
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Yeah, I think it was Dyrus that said that for every successful pro you see, there are 4 or more who try to go pro and fail. That you don't see. Go to school, get a regular job.
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On February 15 2014 19:45 obesechicken13 wrote:
Yeah, I think it was Dyrus that said that for every successful pro you see, there are 4 or more who try to go pro and fail. That you don't see. Go to school, get a regular job.
Indeed. Pro gaming isn't viable, look at Idra's recent retirement. It was exactly due to money.
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Also remember, that for every pro you see and the 4 or more that QUIT or lost interest which is why they failed.
I think you also need to have a good self-reflection session. Are you actually giving 100% into your game, and not just going through the motion.
Even though you're playing 12 hours, are you giving 100%, thats what you need to ask yourself. For example: if you have only 6 month to beat this other player much better than you to save your own and your family's life. Are you currently putting that much effort into improving your game play as you would in a life or death scenario. The answer is almost always no.
Talent is overrated, sure you may need talent and hard work to be a world champion, but being a pro or being very good i truly believe anyone with a "normal" amount of talent can achieve. Sure it may take you longer than some people, but if you truly wanted it, you'll get there in time.
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Perhaps you shouldn't take it from us.
Maybe you should talk to some of the pro gamers and hear what they have to say about going pro.
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I never expected so many people to comment on here, it's been great reading all the advice you've given me.
I know some of you say you need natural talent to go somewhere, but I don't believe that's the case. A lot of people don't become pro because they just give up, lose passion for the game, or they really don't want to be a progamer. I've tried making a league team of people around my skill level of other people who want to go pro, but 2 of them have fallen through because I see those people really aren't dedicated. I know I am though.
Back when I played SC2 I didn't play much either, but I did have good results. I won a few tournaments, I always saw myself improving, 1 person on my team said he believed I could be someone that was a manager as well as a professional gamer. Some people actually believed I could make it. I also did more in SC2 than I did with league. I would watch pretty much every replay of every game I played to learn my mistakes. I did coaching which helped me solidfy my skills. I even had 1 of my notebooks from school and kept notes in it of build orders and counters to builds and other notes for my gameplay.
I believe I need to start doing this with league. As someone said, I might just be going through the motions. So I need to suck it up, try harder, quit complaining, and come up with a backup plan in case this falls through. Lots of people keep telling me to go to school, but as I explained in my OP, I have already graduated. I'm not a college drop out, I actually went through college and despite not studying much have pretty good grades. Times for getting a job are hard here, that's why I'm pursuing this now, because I have the chance. I'm not giving up on my dream. I have a lot to work for and a lot to strive for, and it's what keeps me going. So I appreciate all the comments, especially those that give me a realistic slap in the face that I'm not doing enough.
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On February 16 2014 01:31 VoiceSC wrote:
I never expected so many people to comment on here, it's been great reading all the advice you've given me.
I know some of you say you need natural talent to go somewhere, but I don't believe that's the case. A lot of people don't become pro because they just give up, lose passion for the game, or they really don't want to be a progamer. I've tried making a league team of people around my skill level of other people who want to go pro, but 2 of them have fallen through because I see those people really aren't dedicated. I know I am though.
I agree with you, i used to have this limiting belief that i wasn't talented enough and wouldn't be able to go where i want to because of that holding me back. I also now believe that you don't necessarily need talent but if you're not extroardinarily gifted, you do need to put in more work than the others. IF you can't put in more hours, you need to put in more quality in those hours.
It's absurd to say that every korean progamer made it to where they are due to extreme talent + hardwork, all the top violinists, pianists and muscians around the world made it to the top due to both extreme talent and hard work, and all the pro athletes that's made it to that level, or if all the top entrepreneurs are all extremely talented + hard working. Again, the TOP TOP percentile are definitely extremely talented + hard working, but the rest of them? probably not as talented as you might think.
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On February 16 2014 02:15 YPang wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2014 01:31 VoiceSC wrote:
I never expected so many people to comment on here, it's been great reading all the advice you've given me.
I know some of you say you need natural talent to go somewhere, but I don't believe that's the case. A lot of people don't become pro because they just give up, lose passion for the game, or they really don't want to be a progamer. I've tried making a league team of people around my skill level of other people who want to go pro, but 2 of them have fallen through because I see those people really aren't dedicated. I know I am though.
I agree with you, i used to have this limiting belief that i wasn't talented enough and wouldn't be able to go where i want to because of that holding me back. I also now believe that you don't necessarily need talent but if you're not extroardinarily gifted, you do need to put in more work than the others. IF you can't put in more hours, you need to put in more quality in those hours. It's absurd to say that every korean progamer made it to where they are due to extreme talent + hardwork, all the top violinists, pianists and muscians around the world made it to the top due to both extreme talent and hard work, and all the pro athletes that's made it to that level, or if all the top entrepreneurs are all extremely talented + hard working. Again, the TOP TOP percentile are definitely extremely talented + hard working, but the rest of them? probably not as talented as you might think.
I think that may be more viable in fields that don't involve direct, head to head competition. You might be able to torture a good thesis or musical composition out of your non talented brain, but you're not going to run over huge NFL linemen, beat world class sprinters, or compete with chess gradndmasters with all hard work and no talent. Pro gaming spots are few and highly coveted, and you're competing against people who are not only extremely talented, but some who have been playing the game or something similar since they were children. I'm not trying to shit on hard work and chasing big dreams, but you have to be reasonable.
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T.O.P.
Hong Kong4685 Posts
On February 15 2014 14:24 VoiceSC wrote:
I know a lot of you think me wanting to go pro is a stupid idea, but you're the type of people the stick to the norm and that's just not me. I want something different, I crave something different than the usual 9-5 job. So please don't keep telling me that this is a waste of time, because it's all a matter of opinion.
I can see why your parents are not supportive of your dreams and why it's justified.
On February 16 2014 02:15 YPang wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2014 01:31 VoiceSC wrote:
I never expected so many people to comment on here, it's been great reading all the advice you've given me.
I know some of you say you need natural talent to go somewhere, but I don't believe that's the case. A lot of people don't become pro because they just give up, lose passion for the game, or they really don't want to be a progamer. I've tried making a league team of people around my skill level of other people who want to go pro, but 2 of them have fallen through because I see those people really aren't dedicated. I know I am though.
I agree with you, i used to have this limiting belief that i wasn't talented enough and wouldn't be able to go where i want to because of that holding me back. I also now believe that you don't necessarily need talent but if you're not extroardinarily gifted, you do need to put in more work than the others. IF you can't put in more hours, you need to put in more quality in those hours. It's absurd to say that every korean progamer made it to where they are due to extreme talent + hardwork, all the top violinists, pianists and muscians around the world made it to the top due to both extreme talent and hard work, and all the pro athletes that's made it to that level, or if all the top entrepreneurs are all extremely talented + hard working. Again, the TOP TOP percentile are definitely extremely talented + hard working, but the rest of them? probably not as talented as you might think.
Being a progamer isn't like being an accountant. You can't be progamer merely being good at what you do. You're not even a pro if you're in the top 1% of players. You literally need to be in the TOP TOP percentile to be a pro and like you said, they're extremely talented and hard working.
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EPT
