EPTJ: So I hear you're into hentai, it just so happens that i am, what you may call, a connoisseur. Name's Josiah, how's it going?
H: Oooooooooohhhhh.... Um, it goes.
J: Good to know, if you don't mind me jumping straight to the point, what genres do you find yourself frequenting?
H: I dunno. Haha. You uh, you're serious huh?
J: Josiah hasn't mentioned me before, you see, i edit hentai for a few independent sites, so yes, i am very serious
H: Oh... I see.
J: ...i just now realized that the last text had ill implications, i simply am excited to hear of another who understand the complexity of hentai
H: Well I myself am no connoisseur. I simply find it amusing.
J: Amusing? In what way?
H: Mostly the boob physics and general lack of realism.
J: Well the breast physics are indeed a bit outlandish, but i don't think that the story and character development has lost touch with reality, simply a bit exaggerated to the advantage of the director
H: And the advantage being?
J: The advantage of skewing viewer bias to make characters have a more sentimental value and an overall more engaging story
H: My sister would like to know (1 why dicks are wrinkly) and (2 if your dick is wrinkly) I am absolutely serious.
J: Well to answer the first question, it is mainly in older hentais that the peni are wrinkled, and that is to show texture of the foreskin, for you see, circumcision is not a popular practice in Asia as it is in America. As for the second question, no, I am circumcised, so my penis is smooth and full of energy
H: I see.... Weeeeeeeeeell okay.
J: Ah..perhaps a bit too forward on my part, i apologize. But back to my original question, what genres do you find yourself frequenting?
H: The kind that my sister finds out of random I guess.
J: Ah...so you watch it with your sister, interesting, you see i find myself attracted to the taboo side of hentai, i enjoy incest, the forbidden fruit, a bit personal and off putting i know, but i feel that if our relationship is to work, i must not hide anything from you *places back of hand over forehead and turns away* For you see, many a woman in my life have run away from me when they learn of my secret, i could not bare the pain again.
H: I think you may have the wrong idea... I uh, yeah. I won't lie, I am feeling quite uncomfortable in this situation, and if your intention is to weird me out a little bit, bravo dear boy, you have done a phenomenal job.
J: I am sorry, once again I have let my burning passion get the best of me. My intention is simple and pure: to befriend a fair lady who knows of my way of life and does not judge, and hopefully, one day, make an honest woman of her, then take her and our 4 children to California, where, finally, you will see the ocean again
H: I have never seen the ocean...
J: No, but you will someday, i swear on our unborn children's lives, you'll see it
H: You are frightening. I apologize, but i have a lovely relationship 3 years running, the anniversary of which i have just celebrated Saturday.
J: Alas, as i thought, there is another. But I will not loose hope. It is such a rare occurrence to be so sure you have found your soul mate, that when the moment arises, you must not let it go. I don't know the man who has stole you away from me, but should he let your love slip away, i will be there, to comfort you and plant the seeds of new life that will blossom into our undying love, i swear you this Hannah, you will never find someone who can offer you such raw and powerful, passionate love as I!
H: Be that as it may (or may not), I am going to have to ask you to calm down, address the situation properly, and please stop coming onto me at once. Thank you.
J: *takes a deep breath* I.... I apologize, I can get a bit heated at times. I mean, I barely know you yet I've sworn my undying love for you. Perhaps we should just get to know each other a bit more, for instance, what is your favorite television show?
H: I'm not quite sure how to put you down lightly, so I'm going to be frank instead. I do not wish to continue this conversation. It makes me uncomfortable. I have never met you, and to be as blunt as you have been flashes warning signs everywhere. I honestly feel awful saying these things. But they're true.
J: Oh such is the bitter tempest of time, that such a fair maiden should cast me aside as if I were nothing more than a simple fallen leaf, but if that is your wish, how can i deny you, fare thee well my love, should our paths cross again, i hope it is a warm breeze that carries you.
H: Weeeeeeeeeeell okay then...
