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Hello TL folks,
last time I wrote a blog, I was considering breaking up with my girlfriend of seven months. I followed through with it, and was over it about one month after the break up.
Queue my senior year.
A quick perspective on my life: I am a person who is excellent at school(Math and Science straight A's without trying, 34 on ACT whatever), but I prefer music. I sing in 8 choirs, both High School and Adult(Some are pretty prestigious). I also play in orchestra, and act. The thing I want to communicate here is not that I'm cocky(which I'm pretty sure is what it sounds like), but that I network with a lot of people in the performing arts and in the context of high school I have some talent.
On to the girl: I was the lead in my school's play this year, The Crucible(John Proctor). My wife in the play was the girl who this blog is about. Henceforth, she shall be known as wifey. Anyhow, as the play took shape over the month I thought I found myself somewhat attracted to wifey, but quickly dismissed it as my own hopeful thinking. The change came when the play opened, which was coincidentally my birthday. She overheard it was my birthday the day before, and chastised(in a sort of why wouldn't you mention it way) me for not telling her. She got me the nicest colorful piece of paper with dum dums taped to it that had all sorts of puns about the flavors, and I loved it. She even snuck up behind me in the hallway and heard me showing it off to my friends, and I think she probably realized how much I liked the gift.
Anyhow, she made sure I drove with her to Applebees after opening night, and I confess that I had a nice time talking to her at the table(She clearly wanted to have conversation with me) but my other friends kept interrupting our conversations. The next day, wifey asked someone for my number, and upon hearing I was at a football game(I implored her to go) she met up with me there. She got distracted by some drama, but after the game she went with me to my car and apologized for having to deal with her friends because she wanted to hang out with me.
From there, we went to the band party(I am able to go just through friends, I am not in marching band) we had a nice time and she wanted to leave and I obliged her so we just drove around and had pleasant conversation for 30 minutes, and I dropped her off.
The final day of the play, she and I talked little at the cast party, because I was swarmed with attention from other people. However, she did stop me to get my snapchat. Also, during never have I ever, I gathered she had never been in a relationship, whereas I have made out and gotten and done some stuff(no oral or sex). I actually really like the concept of a pure, uncorrupted girl, so this isn't really problematic for me. It just tells me the relationship won't move fast if it ever happens, which is fine.
The day after that, I snapchatted her once and she started texting me and we texted throughout the day. It wasn't that great of a texting session(as in no flirting), but she did "hahhaha" after things I said that really were not funny(prodigious sign a girl likes you) .Also, I prefer not to text so I'm fine with it not being a massive bonding session or some shit.
This brings me to now. She did mention at the football game when she met up with me that she was going to have a Halloween party to watch movies with her friends(it was clear that I would be invited). We also are doing a song from a musical for the talent show, so I'll see her when we work on that as well. I just want to spend time with her because I am attracted to her.
I am strongly attracted to this girl(and talking with girls that know her it's obvious she likes me), and she seems to be doing all the work for me(which is great). I just can't stand sitting idly by. Should I try to text/snapchat her, or should I wait for that party invitation? I would be one to invite her on a date to get ice cream or something, but I don't want to ruin her own plans to have a party including her friends just because I want to court her.
Essentially my question is: How do I proceed to get into a relationship with this girl?
TLDR Underclassmen girl likes me, I like her. She is having party at unspecified date to watch Halloween movies, but I feel like I should be doing something to communicate or endear myself to her(for example texting or inviting her on a date). What should I do? Waiting seems less proactive than I'd like to be.
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On October 22 2013 09:04 Bippzy wrote: I actually really like the concept of a pure, uncorrupted girl
the obvious answer to this blog is that you 1) call her 2) corrupt her 3) defile her. she'll thank you afterward. just make sure you look up "clitoris" in the dictionary beforehand
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if things are already that obvious then go with whatever you prefer. just make a move at one point.
and for I actually really like the concept of a pure, uncorrupted girl
that will change in the future be sure. "pure, uncorrupted girl"s are often dissappointing when it comes to the physical things. doesnt matter in your situation i guess but remember my words when your 25 and just hunting on weekends ~
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On October 22 2013 09:46 BeMannerDuPenner wrote:if things are already that obvious then go with whatever you prefer. just make a move at one point. and for that will change in the future be sure. "pure, uncorrupted girl"s are often dissappointing when it comes to the physical things. doesnt matter in your situation i guess but remember my words when your 25 and just hunting on weekends ~
My thoughts exactly. As a 26 year old if I found a pure, uncorrupted girl I'd probably pass and find a dirty one.
Sounds like you're going to get an invite to the party, if you do, it might be a good time to make a move. If you don't, I wouldn't read anymore into it than you're going to have to be the one who starts things off. Girls won't make the first move because they don't want to look like sluts and society has taught them that the man should be the one to do it. So it's up to you to put your feelings out there and hopefully she feels the same.
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Alright just want to tell you not to push things too quickly. Time away from her is fine and is good. Asking if she's free sometime like "Are you free anytime this weekend?" or "i heard ____ was a good movie (cheesy kind of but why not?) have you seen it?" Just let the conversation flow naturally and if you see an excuse to spend some time with her or go on a date with her go for it! As for an "uncorrupted girl" its whatever your preference is man. If she is really kind and stuff and wants to meet up with you more go for it. I would exercise caution though. Its good that you waited a month so that she is not considered a "rebound" girl. GL HF
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Essentially my question is: How do I proceed to get into a relationship with this girl? You already know what to do. Your instincts will tell you what you want. From there it's all about beating down that little voice in your head that says "what if I get it wrong?" At your age you can't get it wrong, just do it. Some things like making out while all her friends are around is probably a bad idea at first with most girls. But you can do lots of other stuff with people around that won't make her uncomfortable and hate you.
Basically, you want to make her feel good without making her uncomfortable. If she's shy with her friends about stuff, she won't want them to see you guys kissing. I assume you know this stuff already because you already had a girlfriend of seven months. So why are you asking? If you're insecure get over it. The result comes from action.
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Interesting opinions on the uncorrupted girls. You guys are probably correct that my opinion will change, but I'll remain naieve for now.
HP.shell, you hit the nail on the head. I got this, I was a little insecure because I have been single for 3 months(since about TI3) so I was worried about my game plan. But that's exactly how to do it, it generally just happens naturally. Cool stuff guys, thanks.
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My man, I am also a senior and I have to say that while it's really nice when a girl does all the work for you, it doesn't really mean too much in the end regarding how much she likes you. For example, in my situation I was unaware that people in public schools tend to think that academic achievement is very valuable (which I read here. There is a negative correlation between grades and popularity in private schools, but it's the other way around in public schools, which I didn't know), so I'm pretty sure this girl I met over the summer was just using me as leverage for social climbing. She was a senior too, though. It's pretty obvious that you happen to be in a similar situation (senior, lead in play, also pretty smart). And yeah, I was getting all the "haha's" and she asked me for my digits, etc. I'm not saying you're leading yourself into this situation per se, but it definitely could be a factor in why she is interested in you. Just something to keep in mind, I wouldn't have believed someone telling me that while I was crushing either.
If you ended your last relationship because the girl was long distance and had some problems (let's face it, we all have problems), and you like that this underclassman is uncorrupted, may I ask what is the point of this relationship to begin with? I assume you do not want to have sex with her because of the uncorrupted thing. I also assume that you will break up with her when you graduate and presumably go on to college . Soo... are you just looking for a girl to take to prom? I don't think you need to be in a relationship to do that.
Yeah you should probably continue to text her. I personally wouldn't go after her with a date and would just keep her on the backburner; you could just use her as a date to prom or something or you could make her come to you. Your question is pretty dumb, to be honest. "How do I proceed into a relationship with this girl?" Obviously she likes you so it shouldn't be hard to just ask her on dates and do stuff with her. You shouldn't need other people to tell you explicitly that this is indeed how relationships form.
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Lol, cuz sex totally corrupts you.
I am a person who is excellent at school(Math and Science straight A's without trying, 34 on ACT whatever), but I prefer music. I sing in 8 choirs, both High School and Adult(Some are pretty prestigious). I also play in orchestra, and act. The thing I want to communicate here is not that I'm cocky(which I'm pretty sure is what it sounds like), but that I network with a lot of people in the performing arts and in the context of high school I have some talent.
All I got out of this is that you're the type of person who uses "network" as a verb.
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According to the Internet, network has been used as a verb since 1887.
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sorry but after reading the first couple lines you came off as a dick and I stopped, had to make this comment as it might just be your poor writing skills preventing you from communicating clearly. Doubt it though, so just have to throw a fuck you out there
User was warned for this post
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Lol. Oh high school.
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United Arab Emirates5090 Posts
Make a move or she will lose interest in you/think you don't find her attractive/think you are a player. No need to go on a typical date which includes dinner and movie. Meet up and go to an Art exhibition, museum or just go shopping. Maybe she has a hobby and you can do something with that (girls love photography etc). Pack a little picnic and go to a park and bring old bread to feed the birds. The most important thing is you have to make a move. Ask her to do something with you and if she asks if it's only the two of you say yes and wait for her to respond. I'm assuming you've already gone through the "lol this is my friends and this is your friends and this is the dumb shit we do when we are in a big group". You want to get away from that and so does she.
You know all those movies where girls make the first move and the guy is being all coy and cute like Michael Cera? That's not going to happen. Girls will get mad as fuck and deeply frustrated and drop a lot of "omg super obvious hints" but will never admit anything before you do. Girls want to be chased and coveted. Girls want to be swept off their feet by successful guys. Girls want to get fucked.
Just be like water flowing around a stone, if you do something and she doesn't respond, then just shrug it off and move along. Don't get nervous or stutter if she rejects you or denies anything, you can always just bust out laughing and say you were joking or whatever. Use eye contact, body language and words to show her that you find her attractive and want to be more than just friends. If she responds (which she seems to be doing already, laughing at your shit) then go with it at a firm and steady pace. There is nothing to be afraid of.
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Always ask girl out/say something before something crappy happens, like you lose the opportunity straight up due to fuckin' whatever, she loses interest, or it turns out she wants to be friends (unlikely in your situation). If you can do this you'll be way ahead of the curve... more specifically, you'll be ahead of "nice guys" who get "friendzoned" because you'll actually get with girls, will learn how girls like to be asked out faster, and won't waste any time on girls who want to be friends.
Also, high school relationships are really funny.
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European here: what age should I think of when you guys are talking about underclass and senior etc?
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OP, you know why it's idiots and assholes who get the prettiest girls at school? That's exactly because they are idiots, so they don't think everything through to find "perfect" solutions but rather act quickly, basing on their intuition... and assholes, because at this age only assholes have enough self-confidence to immediately go for it.
Not that I'm encouraging you to be a prick... But bear in mind that in this case, you IQ might actually be working against you.
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Pursue it like you have been, meet up, eventually get some balls and kiss her, then corrupt her. Your perception of corrupt is just because you perceive yoursel as uncorrupted coz ur a virgin, which is cool but sex is sex, no where near as big a deal as an emotional connection which you seem to have.
Sex is fun tho, don't let 'purity' get in the way of a good time
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Forget about trying to "get a relationship" and just start relating.
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On October 22 2013 17:24 Pandemona wrote:Not to sound like a douche, but what the hell this sounds like High School Musical all over again...not like i watched that...or anything :3 Seems to me like you just need to make a move, or if you cant get the courage to make a move, start dropping major hints for a few days then if still nothing, just say it. "Would you like to go to dinner this saturday" then when she says yes or no say, you know this is a date right etcetc. Go get your Vanessa Hudgens you Troy Bolton you! Lol @ all the corruption posts! So true though, no one likes bloody bed sheets now do they........ ^_^ You clearly have mastered the art of subtle hints
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