EPTSo it's the weekend before classes start (first week of September). My parents and younger brother are with me making sure everything's ready in my dorm. Being a starcraft lover and geeky person, I am insecure about making friends and actually doing anything except class. Not that I really care about having a social life, I know my goal is to get a degree in computer science and find a job. And I'm more comfortable being around computers than being around people
All of a sudden this 200 pound black guy comes in, and shakes my hand with a big smile on his face. He has a huge suitcase in his oversized arm and a football (I'm not kidding) in the other. This guy dwarfs me both vertically and laterally, and takes up so much space that I can't even see the hallway behind him and he's standing right in front of the door. After a few exchanges of pleasantries, he heads to his bed and pulls out his laptop and starts watching football highlights (again not kidding)
I start sweating and my parents are a little uneasy, especially as we watch him slipping a bottle of vodka in the freezer. See I don't drink or smoke or have any bad habits. I don't even watch porn because I feel it's degrading to women. After a while my parents start to leave but not before they try to talk with my roommate some more and embarrassing me in the process
Out of nowhere my younger bro gets this idea to ride the campus shuttle service because he wants to "explore". My parents think it's a brilliant idea and so I'm stuck with my family on the college bus for an hour while swarms of college kids surround us and toss me dirty glances. After about half an hour of this I see a familiar face: some guy from my high school calculus class. He's chatting with some other people...and I realize I know the people he's talking to because they also went to my high school and we all graduated together. I tell my parents I'm going to go talk to him
I walk up to the dude and he offers me a high five. There are two girls and three guys with him and they all smile at me. Soon the dude is telling me about this awesome party at the dorms later tonight, with lots of booze and girls. I'm nervous because I hate being in social situations but I can't turn this down or I'll look like a total loser. We shake on it and I go back to sitting with my parents and waiting for them to leave, anticipating the party but also sweating my ass off
My family leaves and I'm left to my own defenses which is both incredibly exciting and incredibly frightening at the same time. My roommate says he's going to get Chinese food and leaves me alone. I log into iccup and see if any of my friends are online (<3 mowfromeurope). Soon I realize that my social anxiety is starting to take over my body as it hurts to leave the comfort of my chair and actually go outside which I should be doing. I get a text from that guy on the bus "yo man head to quad 4 we got ping pong". I should let you know that I'm a beast at ping pong, being (in my humble opinion) the best player on my high school ping pong club
I walk over to the intended location and on my way I see all sorts of crazy wonderful shit. It's like my eyes open up to a whole new world in like 5 minutes. People playing frisbee, goofing off, having a good time, some people even getting a little touchy feely. On my way I grab a sprite from the vending machine and pull out some sunglasses I'd been hiding in my pocket "just in case" and feel like a total boss walking slowly and confidently with the swagger of a self assured adult making my way in the world for the first time in my life
In the process I almost accidentally trip on a blonde girl who's laying on the grass but I don't think she even sees me (but I see her bellybutton). After what feels like forever I finally see the guy and his friends from the bus and they're all standing outside smoking some herbs. He offers me some and I politely decline. He tells his friends to go to the party and says he needs to call his family first. I stay with him and listen to his conversation (he's Korean and I'm not so I can't understand what the conversation is about). He pulls out a skateboard and starts going super fast and I'm like running behind him feeling like Usain Bolt. After about 15 seconds of full on sprinting I feel like I'm about to pass the fuck out and he gets off his skateboard and starts laughing his ass off at me. We then walk to the party
When we get there the place is really crowded and loud and I try to talk to my friend with lots of yelling but he still can't barely hear me. We spot his friends and they're talking to some people I don't know. They introduce him and me to their group. Turns out most of those guys are from our rival high school. Out of nowhere this brunette slutty girl is jiggling her ass and some people around me are taking shots left and right. My friend asks me if I drink, and I say "sure sprite". He totally laughs in my face for a good 5 seconds and asks me again, and then he turns all serious when he realizes I'm not joking
Some other guy I don't know joins our conversation and my friend is telling how he thinks I would make a crazy drunk, which I think is kind of humorous but I also simultaneously feel insulted. One of my uncles died prematurely from cirrhosis of liver due to being an alcoholic and another of my family members was a chain smoker so I understand this stuff can have disastrous potential consequences especially due their addictive nature
I walk off by myself for a little bit trying to collect my thoughts and absent mindlessly walk into a room with a few dudes smoking hookah. And I'm actually surprised by their high level of philosophical and intellectual discourse going on in this room. I walk out feeling more enlightened than I did that morning. I see a cute but nerdy looking Asian girl with glasses standing off by herself in a corner and try to initiate conversation, feeling like she's my long lost sister or something. I find out she's majoring in computer science and she has a PS3 just like me and I totally feel like at that moment I could spend the rest of the night talking to her. My friend appears again suddenly out of nowhere and wants to talk me into drinking because he pulls out the argument that drinking in moderation is beneficial for your heart. I try to tell him so is orange juice and it's a hell of a lot less risky but he's probably a little drunk at this point and can't really hear me anyway. The Asian girl smiles in my direction and doesn't try to stop him, the worst part is I didn't even get her number
He talks me into playing a nice game of beer pong and I'm hesitant but I'm also fiercely competitive and I've always been good at ping pong so I give it a try, thinking I can bail out of taking shots if I can run away fast enough and people won't even remember my face cuz they're all so fucking wasted anyway. So as it turns out this game is not in any way related to ping pong just like how all my BW expertise is irrelevant in sc2. It's my turn to take a shot of alcohol and I'm literally sweating my ass off. The plans I had before about bailing quickly fly away when I see this cute Latina staring right at me with wonder in her eyes and I can sense she's sizing me up, looking at my body language and analyzing my every facial expression. I think I would have to be some kind of idiot and loser to disappoint her.. Not only that but I'm so unaccustomed to being the center of attention that this insane adrenaline rush is literally overwhelming my body. I down a shot glass of alcohol. And then another one. And then one more
Before I can understand anything I feel like I'm about to fucking pass out. Because I never consumed alcohol before that day I had no idea what my tolerance level was and it turned to be pretty damn low. The next thing I do is I literally start grinding this short blonde because she's wearing tight black yoga pants and I'm pretty sure she kicks me in the nuts or something but I'm too wasted to even care or feel anything. She probably thought I was a huge douchebag. My friend pulls me off to a corner but I can feel my muscles getting 500% stronger and more energized and I push him so hard he slides backwards on the ground about 5 feet. Then I see my roommate being the 200 pound huge hulk he is and he restrains me under his armpit and his armpit smells like fucking onions cuz he was probably sweating like Niagara falls. I yell in his face "use some damn deodorant dumbass" and I can feel that enrages the beast but he knows not to kick my ass right then and there cuz I'm fucking wasted, but everyone in the room starts laughing their ass off
After a while me and my friend and roommate are sitting downstairs on the couch watching some football or news don't remember. I'm slightly calmer, and my roommate gets the crazy idea to drive across town on public transportation harassing little old people. My friend doesn't think it's a great idea and we eventually make our way back upstairs. The minute I enter the room people immediately recognize me and start asking me to sign their asses (some girls want both their ass and boobs autographed). I do this for a few girls but yell at the top of my lungs "IM NOT GAY MAN" when any guy approaches me
The cute Latina that was looking at me before is obviously impressed by my show. I offer to buy her a drink but she refuses saying she has a boyfriend who goes to college on the other side of the country. I also find out that she's 2 years older than me, a junior, but she looks so young she can pass for being a high school senior (mostly cuz she's so petite...with a big shapely buttocks and breasts...but I digress). But she is funny and charming and has the most amazing hazel eyes. At this point I'm not sure if it's the alcohol doing the talking but she genuinely radiates the aura of a true goddess
She gently touches my thighs and feels my shoulders to feel my weak and nerdy and frail physique. After a while she holds my hand and leads me into a side room to "talk". Once we're there she obviously forgets about her boyfriend or is drunk herself because she starts kissing me. And she's a real sloppy kisser. Knowing that she's 2 years older than me and more experienced is kind of hot so I don't stop her. Even though I never kissed a girl before I start doing what I have a lot of practice doing on my pillow
After about 2 minutes I see my friend and roommate standing outside the door being douchebags and making faces at me. Before I know it, I see the cute nerdy Asian girl I was talking to before looking right into the room at us, apparently my idiot friend thought it would be a good idea for her to see this because he saw us talking before. She is obviously upset but tries to hide her emotions but she walks off. At this point I force the Latina off my knee and walk outside to get some fresh air. She pushes me back but I punch her right in the jaw because I'm mad. I see my roommate following me. He offers me a cigarette seeing how disturbed I look (or maybe he would offer me a cigarette anyway? I don't know)
I already drank alcohol and kissed a girl that night so I figured I might as well smoke a bit even if it was for the first time. I take a drag and start coughing like shit. It gets so bad I feel like I'm about to cough my lungs out. Meanwhile my friend comes running downstairs to tell me something. Dreadful news. Apparently my phone dropped out of my pocket at some point when I was drunk and someone thought it would be a genius idea to call my parents who were on speed dial. My friend informs me my parents know I was drunk and are coming ASAP
I pull my shit together. I run out of the party as fast as possible and my friend volunteers to drop me off at my dorm. We head all the way from quad 4 to quad 7 with the two of us on his skateboard (I have my arms wrapped around his waist and people might think we're gay lovers I honestly don't give a fuck anymore). We finally get there and he drops me off, and I start playing some BW on iccup and 4 pooling some noobs like I should have been doing all along before my asshole friend dragged me along to this crazy ass fucking party
My parents get there and they see me in my room eating my roommate's (cold) Chinese food that he apparently dropped off at the room at some point before he left for the party himself. They see me on the computer and I have to fabricate an excuse as to how they got called, who called them, and what the loud background noise was over the phone. Being a bad liar I tell them that I dropped my phone on the way to the bathroom and some crazy guy thought it would be cool to call the first (and only) number on my phone. They buy that but can't understand why I'm eating cold Chinese food when there's a microwave right next to me. I tell them I was deeply engrossed in looking online at the textbooks I need for classes
)_____)
Fast forward about a month. It's October 10th. Not much has happened since then. As it turns out, coincidentally, the Asian girl from the party is in both my introductory computer science class and my into psych class. Whenever I look at her she quickly turns away as if I'm invisible. I'm over the Latina girl because I heard a few days ago from a (un)reliable source that she apparently got assaulted as she was walking alone at 2 AM on a Sunday. That's what happens you spread your legs all the time I guess
Trying to get the Asian girl to talk to me or even look at me (guess that would be a better place to start). I invited some of her friends aka mutual acquaintances over for a study session at the library tomorrow for computer science (I also need some help as my first exam grade was borderline retarded level so I'm not just doing this to get her to talk to me). Thanks for reading
