EPTWhen I’m not busy pleasuring multiple ladies at once or driving one of my many, many extravagant cars, I’m likely doing one of the following:
- Saving the world
- Increasing my power
- Devoting my valuable time to writing more blog posts on TeamLiquid
Don’t let my overwhelming superiority over most people discourage you however. I am, unfortunately, mortal like the rest of you. I have weaknesses like everyone else (too much money, overly healthy, etc.). Not having superpowers is one of my largest regrets in life.
Sometimes I think of those less fortunate than me. “How could they live with just one mansion? How do they get to work without a private jet?” It upsets me to think of such poor people. I’ve since made it my mission to combat this poverty. Why just yesterday while I was in town, I gave a homeless man $5. You should have seen the smile on his face! I didn’t even ask for a receipt back.
My vast contributions to charity and society (which to me are largely the same) do not detract from me enjoying my own personal life however. When you have so little time in this world, you do the things that are the most important to you. Luckily for me, my investments in immortality research have payed off, and I am prone to outlive most of you.
But enough of that success of which I’m sure most of you aren’t used to. Let me tell you a bit about my past. A while back, before I had scaled Mount Everest for the 4th time and even before I had solved world hunger, I was not unlike many of you TeamLiquidians. I was your average human being. I lived in an average mansion. I had an average private jet. You don’t need to tell me: It was quite shameful. Luckily I managed to get out of that hellhole using the wealth from my newly built perpetual motion machine. And they said it couldn’t be done. Ha!
Being successful and wealthy does bring its own challenges though. Sometimes I run out of cereal for breakfast. Other times I forget to refuel and I end up crash landing another jet. As bad as that sounds, do not worry. I mean, who in their lifetime hasn’t run out of cereal or crash landed a jet at least once?
Now most people have a role model in their life. I’m sure I act as a role model for many people. I inspire them. But who am I most inspired by? Where do I draw my inspiration from? I think it should come as no surprise to you that I am most inspired by myself. I mean, how could I not be inspired by such a godlike figure?
"A wise and powerful man once told me that in order to be successful, you must be yourself... and invent a perpetual motion machine. Then I realized that man was myself." - Epishade.
Always remember TL, just because you aren’t anywhere near as successful as I am, doesn’t mean you ever will be.
