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In my constant pursuit of happyness and a better life, I have been reading up about my personality and what I can do to better it so that I may have a happier and more fulfilling life. As an INTP, I am pretty much 99% logic and 1% emotions. Here's some of the strengths and weaknesses I believe to have
Strengths
- They feel love and affection for those close to them which is almost childlike in its purity
- Generally laid-back and easy-going
- Approach things which interest them very enthusiastically
- Richly imaginative and creative
- Do not feel personally threatened by conflict or criticism
Great analysts and abstract thinkers.
INTP personalities are great at noticing patterns and seeing the big picture. They also possess an impressive ability to jump from one idea to another, linking them in ways that usually bewilder most other personality types.
Honest and straightforward.
INTPs do not play social games and see no point in sugar-coating their words. They will clearly state their opinion and expect others to return the favor.
Objective.
People with the INTP personality are very logical and rational individuals, who see no point in involving emotions in the decision-making process. Consequently, they tend to pride themselves in being fair and impartial.
Weaknesses
- Not naturally in tune with others' feelings; slow to respond to emotional needs
- Not naturally good at expressing their own feelings and emotions
- Tend to "blow off" conflict situations by ignoring them, or else they "blow up" in heated anger
Insensitive.
INTPs are likely to find it difficult to include emotions in their decision-making process, focusing all their efforts on getting the rational basis right. Consequently, they may often come across as insensitive or be puzzled when it comes to dealing with an emotionally-charged situation.
Very private and withdrawn. INTPs are often reluctant to let anyone inside their minds, let alone their hearts. They may often come across as shy in social settings and even the INTP’s friends are likely to have a difficult time getting to know them well.
May be condescending. INTP personalities are usually proud of their extensive knowledge and reasoning abilities, but they may get easily frustrated trying to describe their thoughts other people. INTPs enjoy presenting their ideas to other people, but explaining how they got from A to Z is another matter.
So as great as my strengths are, they are a double edged sword in which I am in fact very private and usually withdrawn, I can be an arrogant fuck, and also insensitive because I don't take emotions seriously and don't place a high value on them.
Any help/advice on being more emotionally aware of both my feelings and the feelings of people around me, being more open to people (wearing my heart on my sleeve kind of thing), and being able to communicate all the above better so that I don't come off as condescending is what I am really looking for here
 
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
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Firstly, I wouldn't look too far into an online personality test. It's good to give you a general idea, but really it doesn't tell you too much. To give us a better idea of what you are like, do you have any stories or experiences you could share? Anything else like what you think about people and such would help as well.
For reference, I got INTJ on that test (100% INT, 70% J). I also have difficulties grasping human emotion.
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this is who you are, and it is what makes you unique. Embrace it and stop over thinking it. I am also an INTJ so I know what you are talking about, and it is counter productive to try and change.
However, if you really want to improve your emotional responsiveness, I think the way to go about it is to intentionally empathize in situations you normally wouldn't (watching TV/Movies), friends/acquaintances. Basically things you normally take for granted at a superficial layer, you have to consciously think about how you would feel in their situation, so that you can connect with them on an emotional, and not logical level. Yes these concepts are foreign to us, but again thts how I see it.
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On September 24 2013 11:05 biology]major wrote:
this is who you are, and it is what makes you unique. Embrace it and stop over thinking it. I am also an INTJ so I know what you are talking about, and it is counter productive to try and change.
However, if you really want to improve your emotional responsiveness, I think the way to go about it is to intentionally empathize in situations you normally wouldn't (watching TV/Movies), friends/acquaintances. Basically things you normally take for granted at a superficial layer, you have to consciously think about how you would feel in their situation, so that you can connect with them on an emotional, and not logical level. Yes these concepts are foreign to us, but again thts how I see it.
see that, that just looks like words to me. I guess I'd like to be able to understand what that means and how to get better at doing that
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It would be a lot easier to give advice based on your life experiences. Ultimately experience is the best teacher. Even if you post your personality test results we have no idea if you're a 52-year-old grizzled investment banker or a 14-year-old silver zerg.
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I wouldn't worry too much about it. If you act normally, you will naturally portray yourself as someone who is less emotional and more logical. People will be able to sense your personality and will be able to adapt to it. What would be rude and condescending when spoken by someone else may feel very normally when spoken by you. As example, picture a teacher and a drill sergeant. If the teacher yells at you, you will probably get the sense that you did something horribly wrong or offensive, whereas if the drill sergeant yells as you, that's fairly normal. This example is a bit extreme, but my point is that if you just be yourself, people will be able to read your personality easily and judge you fairly.
The problem arises when you try to interpret emotions or emulate them through a logical approach. Unless you are a psychologist and an actor, you probably won't do a perfect job of it, and that's what will end up throwing people off.
As I said before, we can probably give much better advice if you just post stories, experiences, or any sort of thought process.
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Well, I grew up in a moderately recluse environment. Moved across the country going to 3 different schools by the 4th grade before being homeschooled until high school. My best friend was the computer screen growing up, it was the only thing that kept me interested in anything.
High school was the first time I was actually exposed to people and their different personalities and a flutter of emotions, stuff I had never needed or even knew existed in life. I was a popular kid on the outside, but in the inside I was repressing almost all of my emotional responses to everything. I was a classic case of being social, but withholding key parts of my identity from others such as my love for esports. I developed a sense of humor, I learned social ques, but in the grand scheme of things, I was completely unaware of the emotional side of me and being able to effectively communicate my feelings/emotions.
I had a brief year in college (working up to save money so I can support myself financially before I go back) in which I was able to further discover more about myself. I found out things like I was naturally charismatic, my sense of humor was really unique and I started not to be so ashamed of being a nerd. Living in close proximity with so many other people kind of forced me into showing my gamer side, it wasn't something I could hide anymore. And it also helped that people didn't make fun of me or anything about playing so much on a computer, they accepted it as a part of what I did.
Towards the end of the year, I had a close confidant of select individuals who weren't all part of the same friend group, but were people that I trusted. It was the first time in my life that I had enough comfort and trust in them that I could share whatever I was thinking. That was nice, but looking back at it it took me the better part of a year before I could open up to them.
I want to become better at wearing my heart on my sleeve and being able to open up to people after knowing them for a shorter period of time ya know?
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I take it that you value a more open personality where you can share your feelings more easily. What's stopping you from doing this? Do you feel too intimidated when opening up to someone who you've only known for a short while, or do you just never get the opportunity to, or do you never manage to create the opportunity?
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On September 24 2013 12:23 Chairman Ray wrote:
I take it that you value a more open personality where you can share your feelings more easily. What's stopping you from doing this? Do you feel too intimidated when opening up to someone who you've only known for a short while, or do you just never get the opportunity to, or do you never manage to create the opportunity?
I don't think intimidated is the right word, it's just that whenever the opportunity comes along I always fall into a recluse mode and always logic myself out of the situation and opening myself up.
It just doesn't feel natural and i always feel like I am defying what my brain tells me is logically correct to do, which would be to not share my feelings.
Opportunities come and go, I just always seem to become passive to them and choose to keep a distance. Logically it makes sense, emotionally it makes me feel shitty and off for like a week before i get over it. But doing stuff logically also makes me feel good too so that it usually trumps my emotional shiftiness and I continue on with my life
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One thing you can do is invite a bunch of your friends to get some drinks and nachos after work or after school. This is probably the best source of social interaction. When everyone is a little tipsy and has been talking for an hour, people naturally get a lot more open with each other. Even if you don't open up to others, others will open up to you. What this does is create you a circle of people that you will feel a lot more comfortable with, even if you haven't known them a long time. You've already broke the emotional barrier with them, so there's won't be nearly as big a struggle talking to them again. Hopefully you'll be more comfortable with sharing your feelings with these people. Eventually with experience, you become a little more desensitized to social interaction, and you'll be able to do it without needing to think about it.
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On September 24 2013 13:04 Chairman Ray wrote:
One thing you can do is invite a bunch of your friends to get some drinks and nachos after work or after school. This is probably the best source of social interaction. When everyone is a little tipsy and has been talking for an hour, people naturally get a lot more open with each other. Even if you don't open up to others, others will open up to you. What this does is create you a circle of people that you will feel a lot more comfortable with, even if you haven't known them a long time. You've already broke the emotional barrier with them, so there's won't be nearly as big a struggle talking to them again. Hopefully you'll be more comfortable with sharing your feelings with these people. Eventually with experience, you become a little more desensitized to social interaction, and you'll be able to do it without needing to think about it.
mmm im below drinking age, so it has to be learned sober ^^
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There are probably other ways to forcibly put yourself in social settings, but I think the core issue is that you just haven't been desensitized enough to break the social barrier. There's nothing wrong with talking to people about anything, including your feelings. Nobody will think less of you, and there won't be any repercussions either. I was never really shy, so I don't know what it's like to break from being reserved into being naturally outgoing. However I do have experience with other people.
This is a story that happened just a few weeks ago. True story. Some random guy, really awkward and nervous, comes up to me and asks me for girl advice. He starts telling me about how he's really nervous around people and such. It was hard for me to believe for a second because we're complete strangers and he just starts opening up like that. Plus, I'm probably the last guy in the world to ask for girl advice. I wasn't really able to help him much, so we ended up talking about nerdy things and became sorta friends after that. I personally would not have the balls to go up to some stranger and ask them about girl advice. But what I learned from it was that I had no ill feeling towards him, and I didn't think any less of him. In fact, I think he's a pretty comfortable person to be around. So basically, people won't think less of you for being more open. When your brain is telling you to hold back, that's due to fear that comes from uncertainty of what will happen. I'm pretty sure that you already know this well enough, but knowing it will not make you more socially comfortable - the only thing that will make you more socially comfortable is through experience.
Just from reading what you wrote so far, you already have a good grasp of social convention. You are definitely not one of those sociopaths that sometimes posts really creepy blogs. There is absolutely no inability on your side that prevents you from building relationships with people. Perhaps you already know you have everything you need, and you wrote this blog just looking for a bit of encouragement, and I think that's all we need to give you. So the next time you find an opportunity to talk comfortably with someone, don't think about it and just do it. As you keep doing it, your logical side won't hold you back anymore.
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On September 24 2013 14:33 Chairman Ray wrote:
There are probably other ways to forcibly put yourself in social settings, but I think the core issue is that you just haven't been desensitized enough to break the social barrier. There's nothing wrong with talking to people about anything, including your feelings. Nobody will think less of you, and there won't be any repercussions either. I was never really shy, so I don't know what it's like to break from being reserved into being naturally outgoing. However I do have experience with other people.
This is a story that happened just a few weeks ago. True story. Some random guy, really awkward and nervous, comes up to me and asks me for girl advice. He starts telling me about how he's really nervous around people and such. It was hard for me to believe for a second because we're complete strangers and he just starts opening up like that. Plus, I'm probably the last guy in the world to ask for girl advice. I wasn't really able to help him much, so we ended up talking about nerdy things and became sorta friends after that. I personally would not have the balls to go up to some stranger and ask them about girl advice. But what I learned from it was that I had no ill feeling towards him, and I didn't think any less of him. In fact, I think he's a pretty comfortable person to be around. So basically, people won't think less of you for being more open. When your brain is telling you to hold back, that's due to fear that comes from uncertainty of what will happen. I'm pretty sure that you already know this well enough, but knowing it will not make you more socially comfortable - the only thing that will make you more socially comfortable is through experience.
Just from reading what you wrote so far, you already have a good grasp of social convention. You are definitely not one of those sociopaths that sometimes posts really creepy blogs. There is absolutely no inability on your side that prevents you from building relationships with people. Perhaps you already know you have everything you need, and you wrote this blog just looking for a bit of encouragement, and I think that's all we need to give you. So the next time you find an opportunity to talk comfortably with someone, don't think about it and just do it. As you keep doing it, your logical side won't hold you back anymore.
thanks that really meant a lot. It get's kind of hard to recognize which voices to ignore in my head and which ones to listen to so it's really helpful to get a shove in the right direction sometimes
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personality tests are bullshit.
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While having lunch a few days ago, I overheard a conversation between two girls talking about horoscopes, and this thread reminds me of that quite a bit.
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You cannot rely 100% on a personality test, but it can help give you insight on better understanding what kind of personality you have. ALl the things I mentioned at the beginning of this thread were from different websites about INTP personalities. I didn't take all of them, I just mentioned the ones I thought that contributed most to describing my personality
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I´m not sure I understand it quite right. Do you want to be able to open up more quickly to people out of an emotional need or a pragmatic reason?
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On September 25 2013 01:42 Daswollvieh wrote:
I´m not sure I understand it quite right. Do you want to be able to open up more quickly to people out of an emotional need or a pragmatic reason?
pragmatic reason, it is beneficial towards a more fulfilling lifestyle
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Tip 1 stop trusting bullshit online personality tests because they make you feel special
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EPT
