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Active: 3936 users

Losing a friend/realising that I never had one...

Blogs > Nesserev
Post a Reply
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Nesserev
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Belgium2760 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-09-16 23:13:56
September 16 2013 15:31 GMT
#1
--- Nuked ---

*
Harajuku
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
150 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-09-16 15:41:01
September 16 2013 15:39 GMT
#2
I think the lesson you can learn from this is to be wary of internet relationships. It's easy to befriend and chat with people online, but whether that person actually wants to be your real life friend outside of social media is another matter entirely.

Keep in mind that a lot of people on facebook or other social media paint a picture of themselves that may or may not match up with reality.
JonIrenicus
Profile Blog Joined July 2012
Italy602 Posts
September 16 2013 16:07 GMT
#3
--- Nuked ---
HaRuHi
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
1220 Posts
September 16 2013 16:07 GMT
#4
Seems like you dodged a bullet, Yuri seems like a real drag. Enjoy life, I second that you should not put too much into internet relationships. It is nice to find potential friends, but if you never meet them thats all they are.
csikos27
Profile Joined May 2011
United States135 Posts
September 16 2013 16:28 GMT
#5
no offense but that friendly relationship feels very forced. why were you so intent on helping someone that is clearly avoiding and ignoring you? it just doesn't bode well. just take a step back and look at it from a viewers perspective. You got a bit attached to someone who doesn't give a damn about you, sounds like a high school crush
wei2coolman
Profile Joined November 2010
United States60033 Posts
September 16 2013 16:30 GMT
#6
I lol'd. hard.

User was warned for this post
liftlift > tsm
BigFan
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
TLADT24920 Posts
September 16 2013 16:42 GMT
#7
OP, I feel you on this. You chatted a lot and eventually you got attached to her. You felt that she might need your help and seeing that your friendship was in peril, you decided that you should help her out as best as possible. As mentioned, maybe she painted a different picture of her life to you. Honestly, you tried your best but once she decided not to respond to your messages, you shouldn't have called her. You should've taken that as a sign that she didn't want to discuss things and either continue talking to her through messages like normal or just send a farewell message if you think she doesn't want to be friends.

It's also quite possible that she recently broke up with a bf or something. I'm assuming here of course but she wants to be left alone, be by herself etc... Nothing that you did wrong of course but ya, rule of thumb: if you offer someone help and they refuse it after doing it several times, then it's best you leave the person be. Just focus on maintaining and improving the relationship with Eunjung and forget about Yuri. It just wasn't meant to be(as friends).
Former BW EiC"Watch Bakemonogatari or I will kill you." -Toad, April 18th, 2017
guN-viCe
Profile Joined March 2010
United States687 Posts
September 16 2013 16:58 GMT
#8
Yuri seems quite depressed and probably has social anxiety IMO..

Or she's just crazy.

That sucks man
Never give up, never surrender!!! ~~ Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence -Sagan
Japhybaby
Profile Blog Joined February 2013
Canada301 Posts
September 16 2013 18:13 GMT
#9
What happened to you with Yuri happened to me! It's too easy to be friends with someone on the internet. typing is so easy, you don' thave to be leave your house or inconvenience at all to be friends like that.

"Talk is cheap. Trust is hard to come by" - Gabriel Tosh, Wings of Liberty
hold on! i'm callin' you back to the pool, and we'll dazzle them all!
FFGenerations
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
7088 Posts
September 16 2013 18:37 GMT
#10
classic case of a girl (who probably has enough attention from other people) losing interest in a "nice guy"

if you wanted to keep her interest then you needed to appear independent, attractive, cool and manly.

not "nice and caring". this is a girl you're talking about. welcome to the real world.

Cool BW Music Vid - youtube.com/watch?v=W54nlqJ-Nx8 ~~~~~ ᕤ OYSTERS ᕤ CLAMS ᕤ AND ᕤ CUCKOLDS ᕤ ~~~~~~ ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ PUNCH HIM ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ
AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
September 16 2013 20:00 GMT
#11
On September 17 2013 03:37 FFGenerations wrote:
classic case of a girl (who probably has enough attention from other people) losing interest in a "nice guy"

if you wanted to keep her interest then you needed to appear independent, attractive, cool and manly.

not "nice and caring". this is a girl you're talking about. welcome to the real world.


Isn't that just crappy advice for getting a girlfriend? I fail to see the relevancy to this blog.
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
~ava
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada379 Posts
September 16 2013 20:00 GMT
#12
wondering if one/both of the girls were conversing with you to improve their english... and then you showed up and they freaked out; they might have just been using you for a specific purpose?
Whiplash
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States2929 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-09-16 20:44:49
September 16 2013 20:40 GMT
#13
On September 17 2013 05:00 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 17 2013 03:37 FFGenerations wrote:
classic case of a girl (who probably has enough attention from other people) losing interest in a "nice guy"

if you wanted to keep her interest then you needed to appear independent, attractive, cool and manly.

not "nice and caring". this is a girl you're talking about. welcome to the real world.


Isn't that just crappy advice for getting a girlfriend? I fail to see the relevancy to this blog.


Better that then sounding overly nice and needy
Cinematographer / Steadicam Operator. Former Starcraft commentator/player
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
September 16 2013 20:53 GMT
#14
Well wherever she is, I hope yuri is doing ok. I guess she has some pretty big problems in her life and I hope she'll be able to deal with them despite what I perceive as possibly a propensity for pushing people away :/
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
NervO
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
Netherlands511 Posts
September 16 2013 21:31 GMT
#15
I feel very sorry for you , I am speechless o_o
Currently working with Team Acer CSGO | @AcerNervO
ToD
Profile Joined December 2008
France222 Posts
September 16 2013 21:57 GMT
#16
typical korean girl behavior :D
Commentator
Mongoose
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United Kingdom190 Posts
September 16 2013 22:11 GMT
#17
korean girls are horrible
Master league EU Terran
Provocateur
Profile Joined October 2010
Sweden1665 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-09-16 22:18:05
September 16 2013 22:15 GMT
#18
Seems like she didn't want to keep being friends and having contact anymore but lacked the social courtesy/knowledge of expressing that to you in a normal, reasonable way. Don't beat yourself up about it man, friendships come and go, especially ones over the internet, the truly valuable ones remain. Just focus on the other girl and the good times you had with her instead of being sad about Yuri. I'm sure she'll sort her things out without your help too.
Edit: Judging too much of a person's real life based on facebook information can be really misleading by the way, you only see a fraction of what's actually going on.
Jerubaal
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States7684 Posts
September 17 2013 02:53 GMT
#19
On September 17 2013 00:31 Nesserev wrote:
EDIT: Decided to take this down on request... I think I've hurt someone a lot, which wasn't what I wanted to do...


I'm confused. You make a blog about losing a friend and someone- I presume it was the person the blog was written about- asks you to take it down and you comply?
I'm not stupid, a marauder just shot my brain.
MountainDewJunkie
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States10346 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-09-17 03:16:03
September 17 2013 03:15 GMT
#20
On September 17 2013 03:37 FFGenerations wrote:
classic case of a girl (who probably has enough attention from other people) losing interest in a "nice guy"

if you wanted to keep her interest then you needed to appear independent, attractive, cool and manly.

not "nice and caring". this is a girl you're talking about. welcome to the real world.


lol k
[21:07] <Shock710> whats wrong with her face [20:50] <dAPhREAk> i beat it the day after it came out | <BLinD-RawR> esports is a giant vagina
lichter
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
September 17 2013 03:41 GMT
#21
On September 17 2013 11:53 Jerubaal wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 17 2013 00:31 Nesserev wrote:
EDIT: Decided to take this down on request... I think I've hurt someone a lot, which wasn't what I wanted to do...


I'm confused. You make a blog about losing a friend and someone- I presume it was the person the blog was written about- asks you to take it down and you comply?


How'd they even know to look for this on TL
AdministratorYOU MUST HEED MY INSTRUCTIONS TAKE OFF YOUR THIIIINGS
Nesserev
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Belgium2760 Posts
September 17 2013 04:35 GMT
#22
--- Nuked ---
Jan1997
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
Norway671 Posts
September 17 2013 15:15 GMT
#23
On September 17 2013 03:37 FFGenerations wrote:
classic case of a girl (who probably has enough attention from other people) losing interest in a "nice guy"

if you wanted to keep her interest then you needed to appear independent, attractive, cool and manly.

not "nice and caring". this is a girl you're talking about. welcome to the real world.



But if girls don't like guys that are "nice and caring" then how are they supposed to ever get a good relationship with someone if they don't care about them.

And don't tell me it's attractive to be a douche, you may manage to get a girl by being arrogant but you can't hold on to her.
Atleast i belive that's the case most of the time.
Do something today that your future self will be thankful for.
BigFan
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
TLADT24920 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-09-17 16:47:51
September 17 2013 16:47 GMT
#24
On September 17 2013 13:35 Nesserev wrote:
There are definitely some reactions here that help me deal with this... which is kinda what I needed, especially since I travelled to Seoul on my own, there aren't many people to talk to here (which is probably also the reason why this struck so much harder than it was supposed to). I never felt angry about it, just, sad and dissapointed for a while... there's nobody to blame in this but me.

The longer time goes on, and the longer I think about it, some of the things that you guys have been saying really start to make sense;.. maybe she wasn't as lonely as she said, she probably was doing just fine... urgh, if only I had thought this way earlier... she was probably using facebook as a vent for some of the daily frustrations of life.

It was just really hard for me to be rational in this case... and I made some big mistakes...
Thanks to those who were supportive... I think that, the better that I understand this whole mess, the faster I'll be able to get over it.

ya, it's hard to be rational when you are deep in a situation but that's normal.
Former BW EiC"Watch Bakemonogatari or I will kill you." -Toad, April 18th, 2017
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
September 17 2013 19:56 GMT
#25
May we at least receive a summary?
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
FFGenerations
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
7088 Posts
September 18 2013 09:01 GMT
#26
On September 18 2013 00:15 Jan1997 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 17 2013 03:37 FFGenerations wrote:
classic case of a girl (who probably has enough attention from other people) losing interest in a "nice guy"

if you wanted to keep her interest then you needed to appear independent, attractive, cool and manly.

not "nice and caring". this is a girl you're talking about. welcome to the real world.



But if girls don't like guys that are "nice and caring" then how are they supposed to ever get a good relationship with someone if they don't care about them.

And don't tell me it's attractive to be a douche, you may manage to get a girl by being arrogant but you can't hold on to her.
Atleast i belive that's the case most of the time.


i didnt say its attractive to be a douche. i said he needed to appear independednt, attractive, cool and manly.
Cool BW Music Vid - youtube.com/watch?v=W54nlqJ-Nx8 ~~~~~ ᕤ OYSTERS ᕤ CLAMS ᕤ AND ᕤ CUCKOLDS ᕤ ~~~~~~ ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ PUNCH HIM ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ
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