I feel the need to rant but I don't even know how to begin.
I guess the best way is to start with a little introduction about myself. I'm 22 years old (soon to be 23), been working as a programmer for a global investment bank for 2 and a half years now, after graduating with a degree in Computer Science from one of the premier universities where I'm from. I'm getting paid really well in my job and there's always a steady influx of new things to do at work.
Sounds like a swell life really, but I just don't feel satisfied. I don't really feel the drive to go to work. I think I just do it as a necessity at this point. I dread the ending of weekends as it brings me back to the daily grind.
My parents always tell me they are proud of me. But I think it's primarily because I am living their dreams of getting into a lucrative office job right after graduation. They pushed me hard when I was a student to be as much of an achiever as I could be, a lot like the stereotypical asian parents.
I understand the situation I am in sounds very nice and many people would love to be in my position, but I just can't seem to be satisfied.
From a young age, I've always known that I thrive on competition. When I was 7 years old, my dad taught me how to play chess and I eventually got so hooked with the game I would play it with my classmates. After a year, I was better than all of them and no one wanted to play with me except their parents and some of our teachers.
Ever since then, people who meet me always label me as someone whose competitive spirit is so strong that I end up taking casual games too seriously. Be it sports I play with friends like when we play basketball, or when my friends wanted to try out playing Pokemon online. I would always strive to be the best in the bunch, or if not, at least be the hardest-working of the bunch.
I guess what I'm saying is I just don't feel the fire of competition in my current career path and I just feel so lost and unmotivated without it.
And right now I'm afraid the rest of my life is going to be such a drag and I don't know what to do.
don't give into the social pressure for conspicuous consumption, live simply, save money from your lucrative job (banking! Ick!!!), acquire fuck you money, and devote yourself to the pursuit of excellence in some area which pleases you. If you do this for the rest of your life it will be a waste and you will be nothing but another brick in the wall. HOWEVER you can use your fortunate circumstances as a springboard to pursue something truly excellent (in the way the greeks would have understood this - arete).
On September 06 2013 12:12 sam!zdat wrote: don't give into the social pressure for conspicuous consumption, live simply, save money from your lucrative job (banking! Ick!!!), acquire fuck you money, and devote yourself to the pursuit of excellence in some area which pleases you. If you do this for the rest of your life it will be a waste and you will be nothing but another brick in the wall. HOWEVER you can use your fortunate circumstances as a springboard to pursue something truly excellent (in the way the greeks would have understood this - arete).
à la "The Platonic Academy"! I fully intend to make lots of money and then do such a thing. Devoting time to art sounds like a good life to me! Learn what you need to be happy (probably doesn't include $20k/month residual income), go live life on the edge of poverty and live in fulfillment. That's my plan. It's probably a better life than working doing something dumb.
I feel ya. Maybe you will be moving in this direction soon too.
On September 06 2013 11:57 rebdomine wrote: I feel the need to rant but I don't even know how to begin.
I guess the best way is to start with a little introduction about myself. I'm 22 years old (soon to be 23), been working as a programmer for a global investment bank for 2 and a half years now, after graduating with a degree in Computer Science from one of the premier universities where I'm from. I'm getting paid really well in my job and there's always a steady influx of new things to do at work.
Sounds like a swell life really, but I just don't feel satisfied. I don't really feel the drive to go to work. I think I just do it as a necessity at this point. I dread the ending of weekends as it brings me back to the daily grind.
My parents always tell me they are proud of me. But I think it's primarily because I am living their dreams of getting into a lucrative office job right after graduation. They pushed me hard when I was a student to be as much of an achiever as I could be, a lot like the stereotypical asian parents.
I understand the situation I am in sounds very nice and many people would love to be in my position, but I just can't seem to be satisfied.
From a young age, I've always known that I thrive on competition. When I was 7 years old, my dad taught me how to play chess and I eventually got so hooked with the game I would play it with my classmates. After a year, I was better than all of them and no one wanted to play with me except their parents and some of our teachers.
Ever since then, people who meet me always label me as someone whose competitive spirit is so strong that I end up taking casual games too seriously. Be it sports I play with friends like when we play basketball, or when my friends wanted to try out playing Pokemon online. I would always strive to be the best in the bunch, or if not, at least be the hardest-working of the bunch.
I guess what I'm saying is I just don't feel the fire of competition in my current career path and I just feel so lost and unmotivated without it.
And right now I'm afraid the rest of my life is going to be such a drag and I don't know what to do.
you really don't need very much money. Just watch out for dat lifestyle creep. Don't watch tv it is an evil machine for installing impossible desires to keep you enslaved. 20k a month?? More like 20k a year and you are set
I can't wait to see your art man. Here's to the good life comrade!
So you went high school -> university -> programming. It seems you're just living the life your parents and people expect of you. You're almost 23, it's time to get off the hamster wheel and do something for yourself. You don't need a stable high paying job this young when you've got no wife or kids. If you stay in your current spot for the next decade I guarantee you'll be depressed with all the personality of a blank desktop. Go teach, backpack, or work at a bar in another country for a year. Travel and try new stuff rather than just commuting and sitting in an office/school all day like you've been doing your entire life.
On September 06 2013 13:19 Scarecrow wrote: So you went high school -> university -> programming. It seems you're just living the life your parents and people expect of you. You're almost 23, it's time to get off the hamster wheel and do something for yourself. You don't need a stable high paying job this young when you've got no wife or kids. If you stay in your current spot for the next decade I guarantee you'll be depressed with all the personality of a blank desktop. Go teach, backpack, or work at a bar in another country for a year. Travel and try new stuff rather than just commuting and sitting in an office/school all day like you've been doing your entire life.
This 100%! (though I probably wouldn´t have the balls for it)
On September 06 2013 13:19 Scarecrow wrote: So you went high school -> university -> programming. It seems you're just living the life your parents and people expect of you. You're almost 23, it's time to get off the hamster wheel and do something for yourself. You don't need a stable high paying job this young when you've got no wife or kids. If you stay in your current spot for the next decade I guarantee you'll be depressed with all the personality of a blank desktop. Go teach, backpack, or work at a bar in another country for a year. Travel and try new stuff rather than just commuting and sitting in an office/school all day like you've been doing your entire life.
I both agree and disagree with this post at the same time. Definitely, going out and doing something when you're young is awesome. Personally I lived in Japan for a year, some of my friends went backpacking for a year in southern asia, another friend lived in Egypt and learned arabic... It gives amazing experience and perspective on life.
That said, if you have a good job, it's not wise to throw it away. Me and my friends all did these things during university or just after, we didn't do it after getting employed full-time. In some countries, especially during these times, getting a job is quite difficult, even if you're young with a brand new degree.
Seems to me you have two valid options: * Work for a few more years, then do the things you want. With a few years experience under your belt, finding a new job will be much easier. * Try to do things through work, if possible. Maybe your company has offices abroad, maybe you live in a country like Sweden where you're free to take a long (unpaid) vacation from work to do some studying and you could do that abroad.
I guess I am kind of worried about being able to getting back into the job market after taking a year or so off.
Although honestly I don't really ever see myself raising a family of my own, or maybe I am just too young and thus am not thinking of it yet.
I am really just thinking of settling into a simple lifestyle. Doing what I want even if I don't get a lot of money. Living comfortably by myself shouldn't take too much.
Currently still under a bond with my company though which expires in March. So my hands are tied till then.
I have just lost all my drive to work though. I think my colleagues might be starting to notice.
there is so much progression to be had doing what you're doing
i suggest you make a post/repost in the Programmers thread in general forum
and look at building your own challenges
lots of people try to make their own games as a hobby, or specialise in something further, learn a new language or buy gym equipment, start a DnD with some people or learn to dance
dont listen to people saying you should go work in a bar, thats a fucking nightmare
Such is life. You can spend it all chasing after the newest and best stuff, but you'll never be satisfied because the things of this world can not satisfy you. Only God can.
John 4:13-14 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
Ask yourself why you are a programmer. Is the answer anything other than because I enjoy it?
Ask yourself why you are a programmer at a bank. Is the answer anything other than I enjoy working for a bank?
Here's the thing. If the answer isn't you are doing it because you enjoy it then stop doing it, you are 23, if you don't figure this out now you are going to be bored and depressed for the next 40 years you will be working at a bank.
Life is short and living is cheap, find something you enjoy and do it, this isn't a hard concept however, you are going to make excuses, you are going to find reasons to stay at the bank, you are going to turn to human relationships as an excuse to avoid change and you are ultimately going to fail unless you stop making excuses and do what makes you happy.
It always blows my mind that people get stuck in these 80k a year jobs they hate when you can easily live on so much less.
you lack purpose, and it is not easy to achieve. Easiest way to attain this is to benefit others, as to how that's for you to figure out. Since you are already committed to your career, try either to learn to love programming, or to use the money you are earning to create something for the better of other people. Pretty vague statements I know, but there are no magic pills to take, you will have to figure it out.
EPT
