EPTLet me tell you all a story about personal triumph, as I haven’t done one of those lately.
After a particularly exhausting day at work, I finally arrived back at my apartment complex. The doorman greeted me as usual by ignoring me completely. Everything was status quo by this point, TL. But here’s where it gets interesting. As soon as I get in the elevator and press for my floor, this fat lady comes through the lobby door. She starts charging for the elevator, yelling for me to “HOLD THE DOOR”. I panic and start mashing my floor button, thinking elevators were programmed to close faster this way. But it’s no use! She’ll be here in just a few more seconds.
I watch as she plows through some poor bystanders, causing them to drop all their belongings. The horror! Her giant flaps of skin were swinging wildly in the air as she chugged along toward the elevator. I continued frantically pushing the button, knowing full well the elevator only had a 4000 lb limit… and I wasn’t risking it.
All hope seemed lost, until I finally had a stroke of brilliance. In a last ditch effort, I bowled my briefcase along the ground at her feet and tripped her. Success! The shock wave of her fall nearly brought the building down! The doors closed and last I saw she was lying face down on the ground, crying.
As the elevator continued up to my floor, I only had one thought going through my head.
“Good thing I packed bricks in my briefcase this morning!”
