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Ok I don't have a gf at the moment, hence there were a couple occasions where my well-meaning friends have offered to introduce/matchmake girls to me.
Unfortunately, none of the girls they have suggested appeal to me upon first sight. Now I am not a (extremely) shallow person but I do like a certain type of look, and I feel if initial attraction is not there it is not going to work.
Please suggest a way that I can nicely decline these suggestions, while not appearing shallow and still encouraging them to introduce others to me. I've tried going on a couple of dates with the girls suggested but they just did not work out, as I thought.
Need a more pro method...
  
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yay girl blog!
"hey look, I think you are a great girl but I just don't have that sorta feelings for you. I am sure you will find someone who can appreciate you more than I do. I got a feeling that we can be great friends and I am usually right on this  "
good enough?
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"no thanks"
or if you want to be really nice "no, but thanks for your help"
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On August 15 2013 00:24 LaNague wrote:
or if you want to be really nice "no, but thanks for your help"
that's for after sex?
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On August 15 2013 00:13 targ wrote:
Ok I don't have a gf at the moment, hence there were a couple occasions where my well-meaning friends have offered to introduce/matchmake girls to me.
Unfortunately, none of the girls they have suggested appeal to me upon first sight. Now I am not a (extremely) shallow person but I do like a certain type of look, and I feel if initial attraction is not there it is not going to work.
Please suggest a way that I can nicely decline these suggestions, while not appearing shallow and still encouraging them to introduce others to me. I've tried going on a couple of dates with the girls suggested but they just did not work out, as I thought.
Need a more pro method...
Go and approach the women you want to date then.
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On August 15 2013 00:24 LaNague wrote:
"no thanks"
or if you want to be really nice "no, but thanks for your help"
no i mean i want their help, but i don't want that girl in particular
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On August 15 2013 00:20 ETisME wrote:yay girl blog! "hey look, I think you are a great girl but I just don't have that sorta feelings for you. I am sure you will find someone who can appreciate you more than I do. I got a feeling that we can be great friends and I am usually right on this " good enough?
oh that part is fine ahha, i mean what do i say to the people that wish to intro, without cutting off their desire to intro more
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On August 15 2013 00:37 lisward wrote:Show nested quote +On August 15 2013 00:13 targ wrote:
Ok I don't have a gf at the moment, hence there were a couple occasions where my well-meaning friends have offered to introduce/matchmake girls to me.
Unfortunately, none of the girls they have suggested appeal to me upon first sight. Now I am not a (extremely) shallow person but I do like a certain type of look, and I feel if initial attraction is not there it is not going to work.
Please suggest a way that I can nicely decline these suggestions, while not appearing shallow and still encouraging them to introduce others to me. I've tried going on a couple of dates with the girls suggested but they just did not work out, as I thought.
Need a more pro method... Go and approach the women you want to date then.
This. get some stones so your friends don't have to introduce you to girls.
Also, don't be so shallow. Many, many successful relationships didn't have that perfect first moment. If your friends think the girl is cool enough to introduce you to, you should at least get to know her. If you picked decent friends, you should be able to at least trust their judgment in women enough to get to know the girls they pick.
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whats so wrong about being their friend? At the very least, you expand your social network (they may have hotter friends who are single and your type you can meet)
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On August 15 2013 00:49 Race is Terran wrote:
whats so wrong about being their friend? At the very least, you expand your social network (they may have hotter friends who are single and your type you can meet)
What makes you think that their hotter friends will be interested in you.. -_-
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On August 15 2013 00:58 Riner1212 wrote:Show nested quote +On August 15 2013 00:49 Race is Terran wrote:
whats so wrong about being their friend? At the very least, you expand your social network (they may have hotter friends who are single and your type you can meet)
What makes you think that their hotter friends will be interested in you.. -_-
all you need is confidence and the ability to keep a conversation going, eye contact, smile, and your good to go
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"Sorry man, I want a gf but I still have standards" - What you want to say, in a different way
solution- "No thank you, it doesn't feel right". (Feel is the key word here, it could mean ANYTHING).
disclaimer, i have no idea what i am talking about, but thanks for the (semi-ok)girl blog.
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On August 15 2013 00:47 Stratos_speAr wrote:Show nested quote +On August 15 2013 00:37 lisward wrote:On August 15 2013 00:13 targ wrote:
Ok I don't have a gf at the moment, hence there were a couple occasions where my well-meaning friends have offered to introduce/matchmake girls to me.
Unfortunately, none of the girls they have suggested appeal to me upon first sight. Now I am not a (extremely) shallow person but I do like a certain type of look, and I feel if initial attraction is not there it is not going to work.
Please suggest a way that I can nicely decline these suggestions, while not appearing shallow and still encouraging them to introduce others to me. I've tried going on a couple of dates with the girls suggested but they just did not work out, as I thought.
Need a more pro method... Go and approach the women you want to date then. This. get some stones so your friends don't have to introduce you to girls. Also, don't be so shallow. Many, many successful relationships didn't have that perfect first moment. If your friends think the girl is cool enough to introduce you to, you should at least get to know her. If you picked decent friends, you should be able to at least trust their judgment in women enough to get to know the girls they pick.
I do approach girls too, but now due to my field of work my social circles are a bit narrow so every little bit helps. Also yes true I should be less shallow I guess... but seriously I've fell in love at first sight (and subsequently dated) girls which my friends said "ok shes not pretty at all". To me if I'm attracted I don't care what other people think, and same if I'm not.
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On August 15 2013 00:49 Race is Terran wrote:
whats so wrong about being their friend? At the very least, you expand your social network (they may have hotter friends who are single and your type you can meet)
Yea I have no problem being their friend, trouble is if the girl expects more (due to her friend introducing me) then I feel bad for leading her on. Happened a couple of times already.
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On August 15 2013 01:25 targ wrote:Show nested quote +On August 15 2013 00:47 Stratos_speAr wrote:On August 15 2013 00:37 lisward wrote:On August 15 2013 00:13 targ wrote:
Ok I don't have a gf at the moment, hence there were a couple occasions where my well-meaning friends have offered to introduce/matchmake girls to me.
Unfortunately, none of the girls they have suggested appeal to me upon first sight. Now I am not a (extremely) shallow person but I do like a certain type of look, and I feel if initial attraction is not there it is not going to work.
Please suggest a way that I can nicely decline these suggestions, while not appearing shallow and still encouraging them to introduce others to me. I've tried going on a couple of dates with the girls suggested but they just did not work out, as I thought.
Need a more pro method... Go and approach the women you want to date then. This. get some stones so your friends don't have to introduce you to girls. Also, don't be so shallow. Many, many successful relationships didn't have that perfect first moment. If your friends think the girl is cool enough to introduce you to, you should at least get to know her. If you picked decent friends, you should be able to at least trust their judgment in women enough to get to know the girls they pick. I do approach girls too, but now due to my field of work my social circles are a bit narrow so every little bit helps. Also yes true I should be less shallow I guess... but seriously I've fell in love at first sight (and subsequently dated) girls which my friends said "ok shes not pretty at all". To me if I'm attracted I don't care what other people think, and same if I'm not.
And that's totally fine, and kudos to you for having your own tastes. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't automatically write off a girl if you don't have an instant severe attraction to her. You'd be surprised what you can dig up when you get to know someone. Someone's personality may make them much more attractive, or maybe they're sporting a different look than normal on that particular evening? Lots of things change, so don't eliminate options so quickly.
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just treat the girls on the dates like a bro and then say "there weren't sparks but she's awesome." but honestly, you seem like a dick. a "more pro method"... fuck off. just be honest.
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Here's one for you: "I want them to be prettier."
Just be honest. Jesus.
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You're doing something very wrong when i agree with japhybaby.
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I wish my friends did this for me. But alas, my friends have less success with women than I do, and I'm not that successful.
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On August 15 2013 02:05 Capped wrote:
You're doing something very wrong when i agree with japhybaby.
hahahahahahahahahahahah targ
yeah why not be their friend by not "leading them on" the wrong direction
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On August 15 2013 00:39 targ wrote:Show nested quote +On August 15 2013 00:24 LaNague wrote:
"no thanks"
or if you want to be really nice "no, but thanks for your help" no i mean i want their help, but i don't want that girl in particular
oh well.
I am always incredibly annoyed when someone tries that with me and will always always refuse.
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On August 15 2013 02:05 Capped wrote:
You're doing something very wrong when i agree with japhybaby.
Ya my thoughts exactly. Wow we just need bisuever to finally post a relevant video that I will watch to put the final nail in the coffin.
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On August 15 2013 01:45 Japhybaby wrote:
just treat the girls on the dates like a bro and then say "there weren't sparks but she's awesome." but honestly, you seem like a dick. a "more pro method"... fuck off. just be honest.
hahhaahaa i can see where i would sound like a dick yes. what i mean is when i go out with them i do treat them like a bro when i see there is no spark, but because we are out one on one and their friend introed us they have expectations.
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As long as they have a pretty face, the rest is fixable!
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dont waste their time if you're not interested, or lower your standards playa
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I wasn't immediately attracted to the girl I'm dating now. My stepmom introduced us and took us out to lunch. When I first saw her, I was really disappointed because I didn't think she was very attractive. But over the next few months we became good friends and I really enjoyed spending time with her. Eventually, I realized that even though she wasn't as physically attractive as I wanted, she was pretty much everything else I wanted in a girlfriend. So I went for it.
Now we have been dating for over 5 months and I'm very happy. The longer I date her, she seems to get prettier and sexier.
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On August 15 2013 00:13 targ wrote:
Ok I don't have a gf at the moment, hence there were a couple occasions where my well-meaning friends have offered to introduce/matchmake girls to me.
Unfortunately, none of the girls they have suggested appeal to me upon first sight. Now I am not a (extremely) shallow person but I do like a certain type of look, and I feel if initial attraction is not there it is not going to work.
Please suggest a way that I can nicely decline these suggestions, while not appearing shallow and still encouraging them to introduce others to me. I've tried going on a couple of dates with the girls suggested but they just did not work out, as I thought.
Need a more pro method...
Going off limited information but kinda sounds like you immediately judge these girls based on their looks then your entire experience is based off this. Why not just try and have fun? Not all dating has to be so serious. It can be just two people trying to get to know one another while having a good time with no intention of having physical intimacy afterwards. I feel like your expectations of what should be going on for yourself may be limiting your social experiences.
I have definitely done this in the past myself and I am not trying to say that's what happening absolutely. But that's just the impression I get. Me personally I am trying to be more open minded, live in the moment, and enjoy where I am when I am there, regardless of what it is. Saying yes to things I might not normally say yes to and trying to embrace it in the moment. Its made for some really interesting and fun times lately.
As for nicely declining a simple "No thanks" would do, but declining "hanging out" with someone (which is pretty much what a date is) solely based on looks is kind of shallow. Who said dating had to be romantic all of the time? You could just make a new friend or find someone who has interesting business/economic possibilities for you.
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Just cuz you don't like how they look doesn't mean they can't be your friend.
You are pretty shallow imo, but I have "high standards" according to some people
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"She is not really my type."
Or something like that.
I have to agree though that it's not necessarily a matter of high/low standards. I've had plenty of occasions where I saw girls that I personally thought were like 9+ and most of my friends thought were pretty bland, and vice versa. And even though I agree, this might also be relevant.
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They're your friends right? Let them show a picture of the girl first and if they are your friends you should be able to say to them "Well, she's not really my type"... Or when it's a really good friend "I'm not attracted to pigs, you idiot!" while slapping him.
(Don't say these things to the girl in question)
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Stop actively trying to get a girlfriend. The trick I've found is just to meet people and not have expectations. Look for friends first, because relationships will develop naturally.
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2nd Worst City in CA8938 Posts
On August 15 2013 00:40 targ wrote:Show nested quote +On August 15 2013 00:20 ETisME wrote:yay girl blog! "hey look, I think you are a great girl but I just don't have that sorta feelings for you. I am sure you will find someone who can appreciate you more than I do. I got a feeling that we can be great friends and I am usually right on this " good enough? oh that part is fine ahha, i mean what do i say to the people that wish to intro, without cutting off their desire to intro more
"Pic?" "Eh, sorry, not my type. Here, let me browse through your Facebook to see if I can find someone."
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yeah ignore the shallow comments. physical attraction is kinda important in dating. going on one of these set up things when you know you have zero attraction to the other person is wasting your time and hers
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On August 15 2013 06:38 QuanticHawk wrote:
yeah ignore the shallow comments. physical attraction is kinda important in dating. going on one of these set up things when you know you have zero attraction to the other person is wasting your time and hers
This is true. I don't really get why people call it "shallow". You gotta have standards on attraction, like minimum requirements. That isn't shallow unless beauty is your only standard.
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a lifetime of experience tells me that the whole love at first sight thing is flawed
stop being a wuss, give one a legitimate chance
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This is what the Dating how's your luck thread is for haha. If you find a certain type of woman attractive, go get her, go talk to her, go make her think the world of you. Seriously, other people will rarely find the right one for someone else, that's why people make fun of matchmakers so much.
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On August 15 2013 06:47 CecilSunkure wrote:Show nested quote +On August 15 2013 06:38 QuanticHawk wrote:
yeah ignore the shallow comments. physical attraction is kinda important in dating. going on one of these set up things when you know you have zero attraction to the other person is wasting your time and hers This is true. I don't really get why people call it "shallow". You gotta have standards on attraction, like minimum requirements. That isn't shallow unless beauty is your only standard.
This is correct
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On August 15 2013 06:47 CecilSunkure wrote:Show nested quote +On August 15 2013 06:38 QuanticHawk wrote:
yeah ignore the shallow comments. physical attraction is kinda important in dating. going on one of these set up things when you know you have zero attraction to the other person is wasting your time and hers This is true. I don't really get why people call it "shallow". You gotta have standards on attraction, like minimum requirements. That isn't shallow unless beauty is your only standard.
exactly, thanks guys
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On August 15 2013 04:26 Wrongspeedy wrote:
Going off limited information but kinda sounds like you immediately judge these girls based on their looks then your entire experience is based off this. Why not just try and have fun? Not all dating has to be so serious. It can be just two people trying to get to know one another while having a good time with no intention of having physical intimacy afterwards. I feel like your expectations of what should be going on for yourself may be limiting your social experiences.
I have definitely done this in the past myself and I am not trying to say that's what happening absolutely. But that's just the impression I get. Me personally I am trying to be more open minded, live in the moment, and enjoy where I am when I am there, regardless of what it is. Saying yes to things I might not normally say yes to and trying to embrace it in the moment. Its made for some really interesting and fun times lately.
As for nicely declining a simple "No thanks" would do, but declining "hanging out" with someone (which is pretty much what a date is) solely based on looks is kind of shallow. Who said dating had to be romantic all of the time? You could just make a new friend or find someone who has interesting business/economic possibilities for you.
Ah okay let me clarify here. When my friends say "hey meet this girl" or "hey lemme intro some friends to you" then I hang out with anyone freely, without judgment of any sort.
The thing is when they say "hey you have no gf right, lemme intro this girl to you", I think they also say something to the girl on the other side as in "this guy is looking for a partner". This causes the girl to have expectations right from the get-go that I plan to court her. Therefore, if I hang out with her normally then don't do anything, she starts asking her friend why I am not doing anything yada yada... such is my experience.
Now if the girl was alright with normal hanging out and no expectations I'd be perfectly alright. I'd even pay for a drink haha.
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If they expect you to court them, then yeah you can't go into a date unless you are actually physically attracted. You just have to be honest with the setup friends, but you have to be really nice about it.
So yeah I wish I could help you more on the "be nice about it" part, but I'm not so good at that either 
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EPT
