This is going to be slightly NSFW but not explicitly and only in the very brief description of my problem so if you're faint of heart or young of age (or both) then you should probably just click on Merlini's stream because that guy is awesome.
My upstairs neighbour is a moaner and this is becoming a big problem for me.
I've been living in this place for about 3 years. In the beginning he wasn't a problem at all and it took several months before the first incident. I didn't make a big deal of it then because it was somewhat subtle and it didin't happen often. While it made me uncomfortable I could just put on my headphones and blast some music to ignore it whenever it would happen. It's also not something you really want to talk to your neighbour about because it's deeply embarassing for both parties (or at least for me).
However, steadily but slowly it got worse and it got a lot worse. Now it happens at least every two nights and it's starting to get so loud that it is even waking me up when I am asleep. It's 2AM and it just woke me up. I keep thinking that while I'm adult, if there were kids living in my room his behavior would be completely outrageous. Sometimes I just want to take a broom and knock it on the ceiling until it just stops.
I also don't know how he will react because while he is invading my privacy, I fear that he is going to think that I'm invading his privacy. I don't want to get into a feud with him, I just want him to stop being completely out of the line.
I don't really know what to do here, or I probably know what to do but not how to do it right or if there is a right way to do this. I guess I'm writing this blog post out of desperation. It's becoming a huge problem and I'm really starting to need some way to make it stop.
On May 04 2013 09:58 BisuEver wrote: Probably would be easier if you could just talk to him and not to us. I think that's the solution to all of life's problems.
I'm pretty sure he doesn't want you to hear him moaning either.
Don't listen to this perfectly sensible horrible advice.
What you really need to do is write an extremely insulting letter and tape it to his door without revealing your identity.
You could also try moaning louder than him anytime he starts doing it until he gets fed up and comes to talk to you!
You should moan back and see if you can start a competition.
Honestly, I would just write him a note (even if you don't sign it he's going to know who it is from, IMO) as the others below suggested. I don't see an easy way to go about this.
You could always drag it out for years, commenting on what he's doing, trying to figure it out discussing it with people, communicating in more and more indirect means, culminating into sneaking in, installing hidden cameras, to find what he's moaning about. Then recreate the same thread of being upset by him moaning.
Drop subtle hints. Joke about how the wind sure was moaning last night, or how you think some forlorn ghost is haunting the house or something. Then maybe you can less awkwardly bring it up ^^
Communicate only through moans from your room until he gets it. And if he doesn't you'll create a new form of language. If he starts figuring out it's coming from the apartment below him install wireless speakers all over his room and moan into a microphone so he can't pinpoint the source. He won't think it's weird.
I suggest releasing killer ants and termites into the building.
It won't stop him from moaning, but it will give you bigger problems to worry about.
Failing that I suggest you straight up talk to him, you don't have to be explicit, just a "look, I've noticed you make a lot of noise at bad hours of the night, I'd really appreciate it if you could keep it down, thanks."
Advise police that middle of the night someone is screaming and crying. Disturbance of peace is a crime. In Hong Kong there is strict ordinance against making noise from 11PM to 7AM. Don't follow other suggestions. Personal confrontation is not advised because the offender may be drunk, violent lunatic.
On May 04 2013 10:12 Aerisky wrote: Wait it's a HE who's moaning?
LOL yeah pretty much Jeruball's reaction... rofl
I had to read his story twice to make sure I read that correctly. Maybe he's making a home-made porno up there who knows. Ffs guys shouldn't ever be moaning that loud unless they are literally being spanked into a painful submission or something <.<
I'd advice the letter route too. He'll get super embarassed, will quiet it down and you won't have to deal with any kind of awkwardness around him later on.
On May 04 2013 12:03 Roe wrote: Why do people think a guy doesn't moan? what the hell?
... speaking as most of the responders are male... and none of them are claiming that they moan... sounds like ur the odd one out here...
have never heard of a male who moans... thats usually reserved for women... men just make retarded faces, or flex all of their muscles in general
to OP
just slip him a slightly scary/threatening note like
In the middle of the night.... WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU
Signed - Your Next door neighbor
(u live downstairs right?) with the Nick Cage photo.
although i thought the moaning competition would be a pretty awsome response also... you guys might orgasm at the same time making it really awkward tho...
Well it should be easy to hear sound both ways. So maybe you can play some radio at a normal volume? And then maybe he'll get the hint and realize oh dear maybe he hears me moaning! But you won't have to confront him. You could do it for a few minutes. Maybe to make it more realistic you could watch some late night talk show host? And then maybe to drop a subtler hint, you could yawn loudly, and see if that changes anything.
Because he should make the connection between the amount of noise the average yawn makes compared to his moaning. Also this is a pretty funny story . Just don't get into a moaning competition lol. You could do the anonymous mail thing, but it might hurt his poor feelings. You need to be gentle, like Fluttershy!
On May 04 2013 10:25 Qwyn wrote: You should moan back and see if you can start a competition.
Honestly, I would just write him a note (even if you don't sign it he's going to know who it is from, IMO) as the others below suggested. I don't see an easy way to go about this.
This is probably what I would do. Might even bring some friends along to add to the fun.
On May 04 2013 12:23 prplhz wrote: I think he'll just get angry with me if I release the fireants and termites, he owns a major share of the building and organizes maintenance.
I like the anonymous note idea. I just don't feel comfortable knocking on his door or calling him to strike up a conversation like this.
Where is the problem?
He starts to moan, you go upstairs and knock at his door and then...
It almost sounds like a movie plot.
e: LOL FIRST YOUR DWARFS, NOW THIS. BLAZING #1 USERNAME ON TL. <333
prplhz I had mostly the same problem, except for me it was a couple of some sort who lived above us. They would have random afternoon sex when we were just hanging out or napping on weekends or whatever and of course the slap slap slap of skin on.....whatever. Could hear them very clearly through the vent above our bed. (Before anyone asks, yes I probably could have done the same thing but I dunno we don't have loud sex and have no desire to be exhibitionists. Even is only someone else hearing us.)
Eventually one day I got mega pissed and yelled mid conversation with my wife, " and you know, it would be great to lie down right now EXCEPT OUR UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOURS ARE CONSTANTLY HAVING LOUD SEX!!"
They moved.
Now the family who lives above us has crammed 10 people into their apartment (Indian, not to be racist, but I don't know if that's a cultural thing) when the lease was signed for like...2? It sounds like they're playing Dance Dance Revolution until 12:30 most nights. I don't understand what you could be doing that requires banging on the floor fucking constantly. I almost wish I had our sex neighbours back.
Talk to him. My ex was a moaner and I think it made my neighbour move out. I never made any effort to get her to hold it in because the neighbour just pounded on the fucking wall like a moron instead of saying 1 word to me. If she ever said anything I would have tried to help her stay quiet.
Either he is getting mad pussy/dick over there and you should go up there and give that man his well earned high five, or hes moaning by himself in which case I suggest you stay off his radar. .
On May 04 2013 15:10 Chill wrote: Talk to him. My ex was a moaner and I think it made my neighbour move out. I never made any effort to get her to hold it in because the neighbour just pounded on the fucking wall like a moron instead of saying 1 word to me. If she ever said anything I would have tried to help her stay quiet.
This. It really shouldn't be a big deal to just talk to him and politely ask him to keep the noise down because sometimes he wakes you up in the middle of the night. The anonymous note idea is a little passive aggressive thus too easily misconstrued as a dickish way to go about it. Just talk to him. If it was his radio being loud instead of moans you'd probably be able to go over and talk to him about it, it's only as uncomfortable and awkward as you make it. It's really not a big deal.
It's funny how I thought the OP was acting like a total pussy and he should just suck it up and let his neighbour have their fun until I realized the neighbours was a dude.
I hate those "subtle", highly impolite unsigned letters you get from neighbours / flat mates and I don't react at all.
You think my music is too loud? Say it to my face or at least have the common courtesy to sign your fucking letter.
On May 04 2013 12:23 prplhz wrote: I think he'll just get angry with me if I release the fireants and termites, he owns a major share of the building and organizes maintenance.
I like the anonymous note idea. I just don't feel comfortable knocking on his door or calling him to strike up a conversation like this.
The only solution seems to be for you to grow some balls.
That way you'll either A) just talk to the guy. How the fuck is this awkward anyway? Sending anonymous notes is freaking weird though. I'd tune it up just in the hope that whoever doesn't have the guts to talk to me about his/her issues will show up after all. B) find a girl and stop feeling sorry for yourself for not getting any.
Finally, you should perhaps ask yourself why you find it so hard to talk to your bloody neighbours... maybe it's time you lot have a beer together?
Why is everyone focussing on the cause of the noise and not the noise? Instead of "I can hear you moaning.../awkward " just address the actual problem, the noise.
"Hi, the noise coming from your home at night is quite loud, could you be more careful with the volume please?"
My suggestion is that you find a porno with typical exaggerated female moaning with your headphones on, then download/bookmark it.
When he does it, remove headphones, turn your speakers up loud and play the porno for like 5 seconds.
I'm pretty sure he will get the message REALLY fast.
Alternatives of writing a note saying "I don't mean to be a pain in the ass but can you please a little quieter late at night" or just talking to him also seem fine.
On May 04 2013 11:52 SonZHi wrote: Advise police that middle of the night someone is screaming and crying. Disturbance of peace is a crime. In Hong Kong there is strict ordinance against making noise from 11PM to 7AM. Don't follow other suggestions. Personal confrontation is not advised because the offender may be drunk, violent lunatic.
On May 04 2013 11:52 SonZHi wrote: Advise police that middle of the night someone is screaming and crying. Disturbance of peace is a crime. In Hong Kong there is strict ordinance against making noise from 11PM to 7AM. Don't follow other suggestions. Personal confrontation is not advised because the offender may be drunk, violent lunatic.
On May 05 2013 01:41 DeepElemBlues wrote: how do you know the guy isnt moaning in his sleep
people do that and it can get quite loud
though not likely, as a child I still remember staying at my uncles place and getting so scared cause he'd basically yell in his sleep. He still does it from time to time and it still wakes me up and scares the shit out of me lol
On May 04 2013 11:52 SonZHi wrote: Advise police that middle of the night someone is screaming and crying. Disturbance of peace is a crime. In Hong Kong there is strict ordinance against making noise from 11PM to 7AM. Don't follow other suggestions. Personal confrontation is not advised because the offender may be drunk, violent lunatic.
Bingo.
Also, inform the landlord if possible.
lmfao ahahahaahhaaha You two are going to shitty neighbour hell.
"dude I can hear my neighbour moaning at night, wat do?" "call the fuckin cops yo"
On May 04 2013 15:10 Chill wrote: Talk to him. My ex was a moaner and I think it made my neighbour move out. I never made any effort to get her to hold it in because the neighbour just pounded on the fucking wall like a moron instead of saying 1 word to me. If she ever said anything I would have tried to help her stay quiet.
Yup
be an adult and talk to them and most people respond well. be a passive aggresive dick, and expect to be treated in kind.
being that they're never in your apartment, realize they don't have any idea how loud it is. think about that before you do something dumb like call the cops or bang on the wall instead of just mentioning that it is really loud and wakes you sometimes. if you're that embarassed, leave a non-aggressive note at his door
e: actually, fuck that. go in person or dont go at all. i just thought about how pissed id get if someone left me an anonymous note like that instead of saying hello like an adult.
even if someone in your complex or whatever is being loud, there's still a certain way to go about dealing with it without being a dick.
EPT
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/LfIKdWu.png)
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. Just don't get into a moaning competition lol. You could do the anonymous mail thing, but it might hurt his poor feelings. You need to be gentle, like Fluttershy!
