• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 16:41
CEST 22:41
KST 05:41
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Serral wins HomeStory Cup 2915Serral wins Maestros of the Game 243ByuL, and the Limitations of Standard Play3Team Liquid Map Contest #22: Results and Winners7Code S Season 2 (2026): RO4 and Finals Preview12
Community News
RSL goes to London! 2026 Offline Finals Nov 21-225Weekly Cups (July 27-Aug 2): SHIN's big week0SC4ALL II: Brood War - $2500 - Dec 5-69SC4ALL II announced - $10,000 prize pool, Dec 5-64PIG STY FESTIVAL 8.0! (13 - 23 August)14
StarCraft 2
General
Balance hotfix patch 5.0.16b (July 16) Serral wins HomeStory Cup 29 StarCraft 2 at SC4ALL II Invite #4/8 - Percival Protoss AoE skill expression 5.0.16 patch for SC2 goes live (8 worker start)
Tourneys
RSL goes to London! 2026 Offline Finals Nov 21-22 RSL Revival: Season 6 - Qualifiers and Main Event Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament PIG STY FESTIVAL 8.0! (13 - 23 August) Tasteless Time Warp: SC Evo Showmatch (May 25)
Strategy
[G] Having the right mentality to improve
Custom Maps
Nexus Wars 2021 GUIDE [M] (2) Industrial Park
External Content
Mutation # 538 Media Blackout The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 537 Hostile Territory Mutation # 536 Railroad Switch
Brood War
General
Are you ready for ASL 22? NEW HYPE VIDEO BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ How FlaSh Nearly Forfeited MSL Finals being late BW General Discussion ASL22 General Discussion
Tourneys
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 3 [Megathread] Daily Proleagues Escore Tournament - Season 3 SC4ALL II: Brood War - $2500 - Dec 5-6
Strategy
Odyssey Mineral Stack Saturation Any training maps people recommend? Fighting Spirit mining rates Simple Questions, Simple Answers
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread Diablo 2 thread General RTS Discussion Thread ZeroSpace Early Access is Now Live!
Dota 2
Looking for a Dota Mentor Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
[TL LoL EUW IHs] Teemo shall perish TSM pausing esports and CLG Dead
Heroes of the Storm
Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Power Rank TL Mafia Community Thread NeO.D_StephenKing vs This Guy From 1 Million Dance
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Iain M Banks Says He Has Cancer And Months To Live European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread The Games Industry And ATVI
Fan Clubs
The ShoWTimE Fan Club The herO Fan Club! The Clem Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread Movie Discussion! Series you have seen recently... [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books
Sports
NBA General Discussion Football (Soccer) Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 Formula 1 Discussion MLB/Baseball 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread Simple Questions Simple Answers FPS when play League Of Legend on laptop
TL Community
The Automated Ban List Northern Ireland Global Starcraft
Blogs
Please support my new stand…
Peanutsc
What is a Gamer?
TrAiDoS
Hello guys!
LIN1s
ASL S22 English Commentary…
namkraft
Poker (part 2)
Nebuchad
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 3879 users

The Pickleman

Blogs > Epishade
Post a Reply
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
April 23 2013 21:22 GMT
#1
"That... that's never happened before." I apologized to her. I felt so embarrassed. I used to do this all the time when I was younger. Why can't I do it now!?!

I set down the pickle jar, still unopened. It stared at me, snickering. The pickleman plastered on the jar was taunting me.

"It's ok honey, it's just a pickle jar."

Just a pickle jar. Those words echoed within me. The lump in my throat told me I was close to tears. I quickly exited the room in shame before she saw my manliness falter any more than it already has.

"How much of a man can I be..." I thought, "if I can't even open a damn jar of pickles for the love of my life?" I choked on these thoughts.

"Come back honey! It's alright, I got it open."

I rushed back in the room and saw it. The pickleman gazed into my soul. My wife was reaching in, touching HIS PICKLES!!! I don't remember much of what happened next. My wife tells me that in a fit of rage I grabbed the jar, smashed it with my bare hands and roared "Who's laughing now!?!"

'Showed him.

****
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
radscorpion9
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Canada2252 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-23 21:33:39
April 23 2013 21:33 GMT
#2
I wish I could hear more of these types of stories on TL. Nice and short, but entertaining. Also if your manliness needs any help next time, try sneaking a knife under the lid and popping it a little. Or use an elastic band, both of those worked for me .

I hope the pickles tasted good! Incidentally I just had a deep fried pickle at montanas. Not too shabby!
jrkirby
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1510 Posts
April 24 2013 00:46 GMT
#3
Pickles are a metaphor here, right?
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
April 24 2013 04:04 GMT
#4
Wearing pink rubber gloves makes opening pickle jars really ez. And just like eating brick real men wear pink.
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
hp.Shell
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2527 Posts
April 24 2013 07:50 GMT
#5
I second the knife trick. The idea is to break the seal so the air inside the jar can equalize pressure with the air outside. This makes it super easy to open, my great great grandma could probably do it!
Please PM me with any songs you like that you think I haven't heard before!
BisuEver
Profile Joined May 2010
United States247 Posts
April 27 2013 21:00 GMT
#6
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory/fda-detains-imports-mexican-cucumbers-19044650

You better watch out man.
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/blog/10873775/pa-presents-diablo-iii-console-comic-by-katie-rice-9-13-2013
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 3h 19m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
ProTech97
EmSc Tv 12
StarCraft: Brood War
Artosis 498
firebathero 156
Jaeyun 24
Dota 2
NeuroSwarm51
League of Legends
Doublelift4334
JimRising 585
Super Smash Bros
C9.Mang02070
Mew2King134
Chillindude33
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor220
Other Games
Grubby2620
FrodaN1522
Liquid`RaSZi1126
Beastyqt808
Mlord709
PiGStarcraft463
IndyStarCraft 224
JuggernautJason189
XaKoH 111
ToD67
Organizations
Other Games
WardiTV963
gamesdonequick810
BasetradeTV18
StarCraft 2
EmSc Tv 12
EmSc2Tv 12
[ Show 16 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• StrangeGG 110
• Hupsaiya 40
• Adnapsc2 18
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• HerbMon 15
• Michael_bg 5
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• masondota21188
League of Legends
• Shiphtur1025
Other Games
• WagamamaTV309
Upcoming Events
OSC
3h 19m
WardiTV Weekly
14h 19m
The Patches Monday
19h 19m
Sparkling Tuna Cup
1d 13h
PiG Sty Festival
1d 15h
PiGosaur Cup
2 days
Replay Cast
2 days
Kung Fu Cup
2 days
Replay Cast
3 days
The PondCast
3 days
[ Show More ]
Replay Cast
4 days
CranKy Ducklings
5 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-08-08
CranK Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League
Eternal Conflict S2 Finale

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 3
K-JUNGMAN
Acropolis #5
RSL Revival: Season 6
Esports World Cup 2026: LCQ
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S3: W7
CSLAN 4
ASL Season 22
Escore Tournament S3: W8
Acropolis #5 - TRS
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Acropolis #5 - GSA
HSC XXX
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
PiG Sty Festival 8.0
Big Dog Cup 2026 Div 1
META DYMY #4
Thunderpick World Champ.
ESL Pro League Season 24
Stake Ranked Episode 4
Logitech G Connect 2026
SL StarSeries Fall 2026
FISSURE Playground #5
BLAST Open Fall 2026
Esports World Cup 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.