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"That... that's never happened before." I apologized to her. I felt so embarrassed. I used to do this all the time when I was younger. Why can't I do it now!?!
I set down the pickle jar, still unopened. It stared at me, snickering. The pickleman plastered on the jar was taunting me.
"It's ok honey, it's just a pickle jar."
Just a pickle jar. Those words echoed within me. The lump in my throat told me I was close to tears. I quickly exited the room in shame before she saw my manliness falter any more than it already has.
"How much of a man can I be..." I thought, "if I can't even open a damn jar of pickles for the love of my life?" I choked on these thoughts.
"Come back honey! It's alright, I got it open."
I rushed back in the room and saw it. The pickleman gazed into my soul. My wife was reaching in, touching HIS PICKLES!!! I don't remember much of what happened next. My wife tells me that in a fit of rage I grabbed the jar, smashed it with my bare hands and roared "Who's laughing now!?!"
'Showed him.
 
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I wish I could hear more of these types of stories on TL. Nice and short, but entertaining. Also if your manliness needs any help next time, try sneaking a knife under the lid and popping it a little. Or use an elastic band, both of those worked for me  .
I hope the pickles tasted good! Incidentally I just had a deep fried pickle at montanas. Not too shabby!
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Pickles are a metaphor here, right?
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Wearing pink rubber gloves makes opening pickle jars really ez. And just like eating brick real men wear pink.
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United States2527 Posts
I second the knife trick. The idea is to break the seal so the air inside the jar can equalize pressure with the air outside. This makes it super easy to open, my great great grandma could probably do it!
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EPT
