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The Pickleman

Blogs > Epishade
Post a Reply
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
April 23 2013 21:22 GMT
#1
"That... that's never happened before." I apologized to her. I felt so embarrassed. I used to do this all the time when I was younger. Why can't I do it now!?!

I set down the pickle jar, still unopened. It stared at me, snickering. The pickleman plastered on the jar was taunting me.

"It's ok honey, it's just a pickle jar."

Just a pickle jar. Those words echoed within me. The lump in my throat told me I was close to tears. I quickly exited the room in shame before she saw my manliness falter any more than it already has.

"How much of a man can I be..." I thought, "if I can't even open a damn jar of pickles for the love of my life?" I choked on these thoughts.

"Come back honey! It's alright, I got it open."

I rushed back in the room and saw it. The pickleman gazed into my soul. My wife was reaching in, touching HIS PICKLES!!! I don't remember much of what happened next. My wife tells me that in a fit of rage I grabbed the jar, smashed it with my bare hands and roared "Who's laughing now!?!"

'Showed him.

****
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
radscorpion9
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Canada2252 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-04-23 21:33:39
April 23 2013 21:33 GMT
#2
I wish I could hear more of these types of stories on TL. Nice and short, but entertaining. Also if your manliness needs any help next time, try sneaking a knife under the lid and popping it a little. Or use an elastic band, both of those worked for me .

I hope the pickles tasted good! Incidentally I just had a deep fried pickle at montanas. Not too shabby!
jrkirby
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1511 Posts
April 24 2013 00:46 GMT
#3
Pickles are a metaphor here, right?
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
April 24 2013 04:04 GMT
#4
Wearing pink rubber gloves makes opening pickle jars really ez. And just like eating brick real men wear pink.
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
hp.Shell
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2527 Posts
April 24 2013 07:50 GMT
#5
I second the knife trick. The idea is to break the seal so the air inside the jar can equalize pressure with the air outside. This makes it super easy to open, my great great grandma could probably do it!
Please PM me with any songs you like that you think I haven't heard before!
BisuEver
Profile Joined May 2010
United States247 Posts
April 27 2013 21:00 GMT
#6
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory/fda-detains-imports-mexican-cucumbers-19044650

You better watch out man.
http://us.battle.net/d3/en/blog/10873775/pa-presents-diablo-iii-console-comic-by-katie-rice-9-13-2013
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