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On April 19 2013 12:41 Wombat_NI wrote:
It's sad, to be honest I've felt like you before, but more as a reaction to what I perceive as false sympathy, or people wanting to be thought of as thoughtful or whatever. I've moderated over time, but I used to be very, very angry at what I perceived as fakery.
As an aside, the sadness I take from this is that American prescription drug culture seems to be really ingrained. Anybody else got any thoughts on this Stateside?
Yeah. When I smoked weed, I could get hydrocodone from my dealer easily if I wanted it. Pills weren't my thing, but it was definitely offered every 4-5 times I was there. It's probably easier to get pills than it is to get weed.
Edit: Also, when I was in college I was kinda depressed for a while, so I took advantage of the school's psychotherapy department and got free 40-60 minute talks with a therapist once a week. Eventually I decided I might want to try an antidepressant to sort of "catapult" me out of depression. So I got an appointment with the psychiatrist, and his eyes were pretty glazed over when I talked with him. He gave me a prescription but I didn't fill it. I'm too scared of pills. But it definitely seems like pill abuse is part of the culture here, almost as much as alcoholism.
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On April 19 2013 12:37 docvoc wrote:
1. It is very easy to get Xanax. It is a prescription drug that is heavily abused, as are most ssri drugs. They make people feel good, and when you pair them with alcohol, a lot of people go crazy for that.
2. You should feel bad. You shouldn't feel bad because the guy was a great guy, but because he could have been redeemed later in life, and he cut that short. Had he known what would have happened, I doubt he would have gone through with it. If he was a bully then he probably felt insecure in himself, which led to his xanax abuse I'm guessing. Don't judge him because of that. I knew a guy, whether it was suicide or not, I guess we'll never know, who died in a Hammock accident; he choked to death. He wasn't a bad guy, but he was a bully at one point, and at another ultimately unhappy with his life. You have to think though, given ten more years, do you think this guy would be the same? I know the kid I knew wouldn't be, he would have been mature, different, and hell, maybe he would have been a new man. His life is like the guy you knew.
I'll put it like this. A ";" is a pause, a point where an author could end his sentence, but did not. The end of a sentence brings on another, but the period at the end of a book, especially one unfinished, makes us sad.
I dunno if I should "feel bad"... More of a question of should I respect his death as others are making it out to be?
Don't mean to put things in extremely crude terms, but he CHOSE to get happy on Xanax. Whether it was from depression, whether it was from wanting to "get fucked up", he chose that way.
If I "feel bad" about anyone, it's his family, for having to go through something like this.
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On April 19 2013 12:57 SynC[gm] wrote:Show nested quote +On April 19 2013 12:37 docvoc wrote:
1. It is very easy to get Xanax. It is a prescription drug that is heavily abused, as are most ssri drugs. They make people feel good, and when you pair them with alcohol, a lot of people go crazy for that.
2. You should feel bad. You shouldn't feel bad because the guy was a great guy, but because he could have been redeemed later in life, and he cut that short. Had he known what would have happened, I doubt he would have gone through with it. If he was a bully then he probably felt insecure in himself, which led to his xanax abuse I'm guessing. Don't judge him because of that. I knew a guy, whether it was suicide or not, I guess we'll never know, who died in a Hammock accident; he choked to death. He wasn't a bad guy, but he was a bully at one point, and at another ultimately unhappy with his life. You have to think though, given ten more years, do you think this guy would be the same? I know the kid I knew wouldn't be, he would have been mature, different, and hell, maybe he would have been a new man. His life is like the guy you knew.
I'll put it like this. A ";" is a pause, a point where an author could end his sentence, but did not. The end of a sentence brings on another, but the period at the end of a book, especially one unfinished, makes us sad. I dunno if I should "feel bad"... More of a question of should I respect his death as others are making it out to be? Don't mean to put things in extremely crude terms, but he CHOSE to get happy on Xanax. Whether it was from depression, whether it was from wanting to "get fucked up", he chose that way. If I "feel bad" about anyone, it's his family, for having to go through something like this.
Yes, he did choose, but we have all made bad decisions in our life...sometimes in terrible or shitty situations, your mind tells you things that are not true, causes you to make bad choices, or sometimes with all the factors and information available, we still make a choice that seems reasonable at the time, but hindsight is 20/20...we choose poorly occasionally. I don't know if you should feel bad or whatnot...but I just think it is unfair to write someone's death, for whatever reason, off because of how it happened...especially if you were not terribly close to the person and really didn't know what they were really going through in life and what tools they were given to cope or deal with shit.
Maybe he really did have a good life, nothing wrong, and just plain fucked up. Yeah, that sucks balls...but I just feel it still demands a certain amount of regard. But who knows...we all feel and see things differently.
I do feel bad for his family and loved ones...I have lost people close to me and all I can do is sit and think what more could I have done? How could I have prevented this? Think of his parents, the way they must feel, not only losing their child, but having the guilt that I imagine any parent would...what could they have done better or different? As a father, I live in constant fear of having to go through something like that someday.
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On April 19 2013 12:57 SynC[gm] wrote:Show nested quote +On April 19 2013 12:37 docvoc wrote:
1. It is very easy to get Xanax. It is a prescription drug that is heavily abused, as are most ssri drugs. They make people feel good, and when you pair them with alcohol, a lot of people go crazy for that.
2. You should feel bad. You shouldn't feel bad because the guy was a great guy, but because he could have been redeemed later in life, and he cut that short. Had he known what would have happened, I doubt he would have gone through with it. If he was a bully then he probably felt insecure in himself, which led to his xanax abuse I'm guessing. Don't judge him because of that. I knew a guy, whether it was suicide or not, I guess we'll never know, who died in a Hammock accident; he choked to death. He wasn't a bad guy, but he was a bully at one point, and at another ultimately unhappy with his life. You have to think though, given ten more years, do you think this guy would be the same? I know the kid I knew wouldn't be, he would have been mature, different, and hell, maybe he would have been a new man. His life is like the guy you knew.
I'll put it like this. A ";" is a pause, a point where an author could end his sentence, but did not. The end of a sentence brings on another, but the period at the end of a book, especially one unfinished, makes us sad. I dunno if I should "feel bad"... More of a question of should I respect his death as others are making it out to be? Don't mean to put things in extremely crude terms, but he CHOSE to get happy on Xanax. Whether it was from depression, whether it was from wanting to "get fucked up", he chose that way. If I "feel bad" about anyone, it's his family, for having to go through something like this.
You are asking an impossible question with the information given.
Should you feel bad about this dude dying? I don't know, did you know him or his situation? Maybe he was an amazing guy and had bouts of severe depression, that would be pretty sad. Maybe he was a druggie idiot who didn't pay attention to dosage, that wouldn't be very sad. When you say he CHOSE to take the drugs as if that mitgates everything, you are viewing the situation in a very simplistic way. I could put you in a situation where you would CHOOSE to kill yourself (torture etc), and it would be a sad fucked up situation, even if you CHOSE that option. His free will is great and all, but you can't ignore everything else in life.
I don't know the guy or the situation, so I can't make any judgement.
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Kids are stupid and make stupid decisions.
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I think what you're examining is the wrong angle to take. You seem to think that if a person does something wrong or makes some poor choices, they should be punished. I have no issue with that - nor do I think most people have an issue with bad things happening to people who know that the things they do can have bad consequences.
Death, however, is another matter.
People don't understand death. Many fear it. Many others pretend for most of their lives that it doesn't exist. And most of all, when you read about death on the news... that never really hits home. It's like watching a character die in a video game. Sure, you understand the concept. He's gone and he won't be back now. But how significant that is to everyone involved is something you won't understand until you have to - at which point in your life you'll look back at this blog, read others saying "kids make stupid choices" and thoroughly agree. Come back when you have parents or children who are dead, and you'll read your own blog a bit differently.
While you're still a kid, though, I'll ask you a question that you may be more immediately applicable. What punishment is too severe for poor choices? If it's not too severe to die in your teenage years for your silly choices, is it too severe for everyone around you to die? Is it too severe to die painfully? What level of "poor choices" are required for death? Poor diet? Lack of exercise? Or just drug use? And what about over-the-counter drug use?
You'll likely notice (unsurprisingly) that the bad habits you have are the things which you feel aren't poor enough to die from. You'll likely also notice that you don't really have a gauge for what punishments are too severe. That's because your viewpoint sounds like you're reacting from your gut (i.e. experiential knowledge) - not from your head (i.e. intellectual knowledge). You're going to need to use your head until your gut has a bit more experience to go on. That, or take other people's word on it that teenagers dying for any reason is really, really bad. Cuz it is.
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Pretty straight forward for me. If the person in question already died and I have no personal ties to him then what's the use of feeling sympathy for the guy if he is already dead, it's not like it will be of any use, wouldn't it be better if he had gotten that sympathy and help while he was still alive? Isn't it rather fake and just bullshit going around feeling sorry about someone who you don't really know, I know allot of people who strongly dislikes people who goes around pretending to feel sorry about people who died who they never ever knew or even took the effort to spend time with him/her the first place.
With that said you, of course, have to be respectful and think about those who knew him, like his family and so forth and actually feel sympathy towards them, after all they are the ones who lost a family member and probably are in great pain from the loss. They are ones that actually suffers, the guy who died doesn't suffer anymore, he is just dead.
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It's not a problem if he's been in faith.
Otherwise, any death is a terrible thing.
Simple.
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You haven't told us how you felt, what was your initial reaction?
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EPT
