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I read this blog.
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=406806
It made me think about the concept of friendship. What is it?
![[image loading]](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KQXJYoNzFkQ/S_Rvqw7zmbI/AAAAAAAABTo/-lXLDrDlTCo/s1600/Image1250.jpg)
This probably isn't it
Seems like a silly question. We all have friends. Some in real life and some in a virtual world. And we all agree on how important it is to have friends.
Yet the concept of friendship seems way too vague and liquid for something so important to our lives.
So what is friendship?
How does one acquire it?
What changes someone from "a person I know" to a friend?
There doesn't seem to be a manual.
Well thats not true. There are many manuals. Tomes and tomes dedicated to this. Phrases like "common interest", "keep in touch", "networking", gets thrown around a lot. But I don't think they quite explain it well. They certainly don't help you acquire more friends.
Lets explore some of these common concepts.
We'll go back to a time when we had no friends. ![[image loading]](http://www.mamamia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/baby2.jpg)
Your parents love you because they have to....
So you're brand new, freshly minted from the ovarian factory. You come with two(hopefully) guardians, you have 0 friends and now you're on a quest to acquire some. So what happens?
First you must come in contact with other people right? Can't make friends without contact first.
![[image loading]](http://livinginthesun.info/portugal/images/first_day_of_school.jpg)
What is in the bag?
So now you've come in contact with others, what makes you gravitate towards some and now others? Common interest!
![[image loading]](http://cs301501.vk.me/u65423968/103452553/x_abbd555b.jpg)
Romeo's got nothing on this guy
Ok so easy enough. You meet some people, spend time with them sharing your common interest and you become friends. Simple right?
But this doesn't explain why some people become your close friends, people you develop life long friendships with, people you trust. If you're on a soccer team, or basketball team or whatever group activity team, why is it that you may have 1 or 2 people you're really really close with but the others are just people you play ball with.
And please don't say chemistry. Because thats too fuzzy of a word. There must be something more concrete.
![[image loading]](http://dave123123.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/breaking-bad-11.jpg)
This is chemistry
So TL what do you think friendship is?
 
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What is shared experiences.
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I define friendship as two people enjoying spending time, talking, or writing letters to each other, and who have spent enough time with each other that they "know each other" well (to some hard to define degree).
The degree to which a person becomes close friends with others, depends on how similar their personalities are - or how well they play off each other to create maximum enjoyment for both parties.
I think that's precise enough for practical purposes 
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On April 09 2013 12:56 radscorpion9 wrote:I define friendship as two people enjoying spending time, talking, or writing letters to each other, and who have spent enough time with each other that they "know each other" well (to some hard to define degree). The degree to which a person becomes close friends with others, depends on how similar their personalities are - or how well they play off each other to create maximum enjoyment for both parties. I think that's precise enough for practical purposes
What makes someone enjoyable to be around? Why are you enjoyable to be around for others? It can't just be common interest, that may be a start but what continues it? How does closeness happen? What makes you share intimate details about yourself with one person and not the other?
I'm not asking questions to be annoying, genuinely curious.
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I think friendship just an evolutionary trait. People used to rely on others to help themselves and their offspring survive. We probably still do to maintain sanity and to develop the social skills needed (and references) to attract monogamous mates with whom we can share the responsibility of raising offspring.
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On April 09 2013 15:17 sths wrote:Show nested quote +On April 09 2013 12:56 radscorpion9 wrote:I define friendship as two people enjoying spending time, talking, or writing letters to each other, and who have spent enough time with each other that they "know each other" well (to some hard to define degree). The degree to which a person becomes close friends with others, depends on how similar their personalities are - or how well they play off each other to create maximum enjoyment for both parties. I think that's precise enough for practical purposes What makes someone enjoyable to be around? a winning personality (due date)Why are you enjoyable to be around for others? Me personally, I am intelligent, funny, and let people other than myself talkIt can't just be common interest, that may be a start but what continues it? keeping tabs on the other persons lifeHow does closeness happen? keeping tabs on the other person more frequentlyWhat makes you share intimate details about yourself with one person and not the other? it just comes out of me. It more depends on the context of the conversation though and whether it calls for it or not. Cam from Modern Family is really good at relating intimate life stories to something completely unrelated (it's an example of what NOT to do)I'm not asking questions to be annoying, genuinely curious.
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On April 10 2013 05:55 WalkinDead wrote:
What makes you share intimate details about yourself with one person and not the other?
[b]it just comes out of me. It more depends on the context of the conversation though and whether it calls for it or not. Cam from Modern Family is really good at relating intimate life stories to something completely unrelated (it's an example of what NOT to do)[b]
hmm thats interesting. so you'd share intimate details about yourself as long as it relates to the conversations? i guess that would help draw out similar info from the other parties therefore bringing people closer.
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EPT
