EPTSo we had just gotten back from a call, and right as we pull into the bays, our pagers go off. Dispatch is telling us we have a delta stroke at a notoriously terrible and trashy trailer park. My partner and I let out our cheers of joy over getting to visit this lovely establishment, start the rig back up, and off we go!
Well as we pull into the trailer park, joe dirt is out there flagging us down. By joe dirt I mean a guy with a mullet to his waist, no shirt, terrible prison tat's everywhere and a big ole pot belly, with a beer in hand. We follow him and finally he comes to a stop. We park, get out and grab our stuff and walk up to the trailer we saw him disappear into. Upon entering the trailer, the overwhelming stench of cat pee assaults our nostrils. Then we see a guy on the couch with about 5 people around him, and keep in mind this is a tiny trailer. First thing we do is clear everyone out and then focus on him. After talking to him for 30 seconds we know he is shit faced, like multiple 4 loko shit faced. We do our basic checks for a stroke and no signs of it, we ask him questions and he was as oriented as a incredibly drunk person could be. But everyone was saying he needed to go, and generally being annoying, and as since it was a large crowd in a trailer park where shooting and stabbing are the norm, we got him in the back of the ambulance for some privacy.
Once we got him in the back he started crying and talking nonsense about how he needs to stop drinking and all that jazz (this is very common because at first people think they are in trouble when we come). Then someone keeps knocking on the ambulance, so I hop out to see what all the fuss is about. I get out and there is joe dirt with his wife yelling and pushing him. He turns to me with a very sorry look on his face and says ,"I had a STEMI (basically heart attack for these purposes) a few years ago, and thought he was having a heart attack so I gave him one of my nitro tablets." Now I was pissed. A nitro tablet will dilate your blood vessels, and can drop your blood pressure significantly on top of making the patient very stomach sick and giving them sever head aches. I told him to stay there, jump back in the rig, tell my partner and we reassess all vitals. EKG is clean, blood pressure was fine, everything was good, luckily. This guy could have passed out and started to puke all over our rig because of this. So once this is fine, the guy says he doesnt want to go, hes just drunk. So I get out of the rig as my partner is having him fill out the paper work and tell joe dirt in the nicest way I can that while we appreciate his concern for his friend, he is not a doctor, and can't properly tell if someone is having a heart attack, so in the future please keep your medications to yourself and let us do the medication administration. Also thank you for telling us this, it is extremely important we always know what the patient has taken, and you will not get in trouble for telling us these kinds of things.
So my partner is walking the guy back to his trailer now. Joe Dirt and his wife, being the medical professionals they are went to go ask my partner some questions. Now we both chew, and my partner forgot he had a pouch in. So as he is talking to these people he turn around and spits a bit (if we anywhere but here, he would have swallowed like a good girl). Right as he did that, joe dirts wife says in the most flirtatious of ways ,"Ooooooo I like that spit boy." Then does a girly grin and bats her eyes. I double over laughing at this point and his face goes beat red and he continues on with explaining the situation.
We finish up on scene, get back in the rig and just sit in silence. I start to make a joke and he just says ,"Well that is a mistake I will never make again." Then the jokes continued for the rest of the shift.
