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Ladies and Gentlemen, I hereby give you
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/3z6GAgX.jpg)
This is just concept art for the logo, it's basically a key to the heart
The Federated United Conglomerate of/for Kindness!
Keep in mind, this idea is purely conceptual. I'm not asking you for money or even saying that this is a legitimate business idea, or even saying this makes sense. I was just thinking to myself the other day, "There is no financial incentive to be genuinely kind to people." Think about it - most of the smiling faces provided by corporate advertising is purely fictional, and any bullshit about "happy customers" is bullshit. Therefore, having a for-profit business that tries to spread the legs of joy across the world just isn't practical. You would basically be torn because all CEOs are in bed with their stockholders, and are essentially obligated to create short-term profits for the immediate benefit of the said stockholders.
So, why a conglomerate? Two reasons. First, spreading a new enterprise over a large market is a long, hard process, usually which ends prematurely, and often, very disappointingly. Not that I see people as a "market" per se, but I want to stay somewhat business-minded. Allowing people to set up their own franchises with our banner is a great way for individuals maintain autonomous control over their local interests, while still being supported by the primary office, which I would control with an iron fist. Second, I think people are ready for this idea. I actually held a number of focus groups a couple of months ago, talking to very diverse sectors of society (which means I got a black girl to participate, but I had to promise her an iPod) and I asked them very bluntly, "Do you hate kindness?" and only 2 out of 56 participants answered "Yes". I think people are ready to start their own franchises and get this thing rolling.
The most common question I get when I've explained this idea in the past is: "How does this make money?" and I say to them: "Good Lord, is that all you people think about? This isn't about making money, it's about spreading joy, happiness and positivity. Damn." and then they say "Yeah, but what's the catch here?" and I'm like "Maybe I'm crazy, but I just want to make people happy."
Here's how this actually works:
We just randomly set up booths around the country, where a friendly representative just is obnoxiously nice to people. People can even walk up to them and go "Fuck you, I will kill your family cat" and the people in the booths will just smile and laugh. The people trolling the booths will feel better because they got to vent all this penned-up anger, and will feel better. The representative will then collect the person's information (which will never be given out or sold to any other entity), so we can send people things to cheer them up, like email them a picture of a puppy and kitten sleeping next to each other. We also will send out cards on the various holidays to everyone. The possibilities are literally endless for how much random goodness we can distribute.
Here are our possible divisions:
Internal Niceness Guild (ING) - This is the group of people that administrates and regulates all the training for our reps. All budgetary issues will be handled by this group. If someone steps out of line and treats a customer badly, for example, sends someone a text message saying "I hope you have a great day!" and it causes that person to be charged 20 dollars for going over their texting limits, we will deal with the situation with extreme prejudice and unflinching cruelty. Our vengeance will be swift, it will righteous, and it will be without mercy.
Empathy Reserve Service (ERS) - These guys are just there to listen and feel your pain. You call them up, we pay for the phonecall, and you can talk about something that's on your mind to a real person that will just be there for you and let you know that they understand.
Mothers - A very very special elite group dedicated to mothers around the world. They make sure moms around the world are in good spirits, because when parents are at their best, their kids can grow to their full potential.
Cluster - I got the idea from two places: in StarCraft, "The Hive Cluster is under attack!" and that cereal with the honey-oat clusters. Cluster is kind of a weird word, which is why I like it. But it describes the franchises perfectly. I don't like calling them "franchises", because that sounds like they're part of some corporate thing/scam organization. They're just like these massive blobs of kindness, all fused together for a common purpose.
I really haven't thought about the details of this, but I'm pretty sure it will work because I believe in the basic goodness in the heart of humankind.
Let me know what you think, be brutally honest. Give me the works. Go ahead and tell me it won't work, but also PM with your address so I can come to your house and fight you, and we'll settle this the old-fashioned way.
 
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I like the idea of the friendly booth for people to troll them and relieve stress, but what about some of the stress of the people in the booth being trolled, no matter how friendly and nice they're gonna be a little down at the end of the day 
So i recommend u also add a huge orgy party for the friendbooth people that way they always go to work happy, plus extra incentive to join
edit:plus ur logo seems to be a perfect fit to the orgy parties+ Show Spoiler +
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On March 20 2013 09:10 Shock710 wrote:I like the idea of the friendly booth for people to troll them and relieve stress, but what about some of the stress of the people in the booth being trolled, no matter how friendly and nice they're gonna be a little down at the end of the day So i recommend u also add a huge orgy party for the friendbooth people that way they always go to work happy, plus extra incentive to join plus ur logo seems to a perfect fit to the orgy parties
I'm confused, what about the logo has anything to do with orgies? It's a key to the heart...
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what if the happiness booths are attacked by vicious unhappy ones who will stop at nothing to remove all happiness they come in contact with? will your happiness spreaders be able to defend themselves?
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A question with the coming to house and fighting, old fashion way.
If i win do i keep you?  (u know old fashion style; club on head drag back to cave) 
On March 20 2013 09:33 ninazerg wrote:
You will not win, even if you cripple me with a bear-trap.
Thats why i wisely put IF infront :D
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On March 20 2013 09:24 LuckyFool wrote:
what if the happiness booths are attacked by vicious unhappy ones who will stop at nothing to remove all happiness they come in contact with? will your happiness spreaders be able to defend themselves?
Good question, I'm glad you asked. I will have a meeting on Thursday to discuss this issue.
On March 20 2013 09:26 Shock710 wrote:A question with the coming to house and fighting, old fashion way. If i win do i keep you? (u know old fashion style; club on head drag back to cave)
You will not win, even if you cripple me with a bear-trap.
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Because her heart and spirit will never be broken!
This is pretty cool, also WHOA didn't know shock was on top in liquibet, gg.
Though honestly I think this is similar to client-centered therapy, just perhaps a lot cheaper for the clients. I mean as you say it's sort of an idea just in good fun etc, but I think it's cute :D
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On March 20 2013 09:12 ninazerg wrote:Show nested quote +On March 20 2013 09:10 Shock710 wrote:I like the idea of the friendly booth for people to troll them and relieve stress, but what about some of the stress of the people in the booth being trolled, no matter how friendly and nice they're gonna be a little down at the end of the day So i recommend u also add a huge orgy party for the friendbooth people that way they always go to work happy, plus extra incentive to join plus ur logo seems to a perfect fit to the orgy parties I'm confused, what about the logo has anything to do with orgies? It's a key to the heart...
sign me up. I can be in a booth. And then I will collect their personal information, and go to their house secretly in the night and kill them because they were such a bitch to me. However the nice ones, i will go to their house and leave a dozen roses with a picture of my smiling face attached.
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On March 20 2013 11:23 MysteryMeat1 wrote:Show nested quote +On March 20 2013 09:12 ninazerg wrote:On March 20 2013 09:10 Shock710 wrote:I like the idea of the friendly booth for people to troll them and relieve stress, but what about some of the stress of the people in the booth being trolled, no matter how friendly and nice they're gonna be a little down at the end of the day So i recommend u also add a huge orgy party for the friendbooth people that way they always go to work happy, plus extra incentive to join plus ur logo seems to a perfect fit to the orgy parties I'm confused, what about the logo has anything to do with orgies? It's a key to the heart... sign me up. I can be in a booth. And then I will collect their personal information, and go to their house secretly in the night and kill them because they were such a bitch to me. However the nice ones, i will go to their house and leave a dozen roses with a picture of my smiling face attached.
Killing clients would be strictly prohibited and we would be forced to give you a stern warning if you engaged in such actions.
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On March 20 2013 11:27 ninazerg wrote:Show nested quote +On March 20 2013 11:23 MysteryMeat1 wrote:On March 20 2013 09:12 ninazerg wrote:On March 20 2013 09:10 Shock710 wrote:I like the idea of the friendly booth for people to troll them and relieve stress, but what about some of the stress of the people in the booth being trolled, no matter how friendly and nice they're gonna be a little down at the end of the day So i recommend u also add a huge orgy party for the friendbooth people that way they always go to work happy, plus extra incentive to join plus ur logo seems to a perfect fit to the orgy parties I'm confused, what about the logo has anything to do with orgies? It's a key to the heart... sign me up. I can be in a booth. And then I will collect their personal information, and go to their house secretly in the night and kill them because they were such a bitch to me. However the nice ones, i will go to their house and leave a dozen roses with a picture of my smiling face attached. Killing clients would be strictly prohibited and we would be forced to give you a stern warning if you engaged in such actions.
alright alright. I guess i would be violation the companies TOS of not spreading happiness. How about we compromise, I'll give them roses but i for the happy people i'll cut off the thorns, and for the mean people i'll leave the thorns on so that they can poke themselves.
EDIT: I call Booth Manager if there are orgies!
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On March 20 2013 11:27 ninazerg wrote:Show nested quote +On March 20 2013 11:23 MysteryMeat1 wrote:On March 20 2013 09:12 ninazerg wrote:On March 20 2013 09:10 Shock710 wrote:I like the idea of the friendly booth for people to troll them and relieve stress, but what about some of the stress of the people in the booth being trolled, no matter how friendly and nice they're gonna be a little down at the end of the day So i recommend u also add a huge orgy party for the friendbooth people that way they always go to work happy, plus extra incentive to join plus ur logo seems to a perfect fit to the orgy parties I'm confused, what about the logo has anything to do with orgies? It's a key to the heart... sign me up. I can be in a booth. And then I will collect their personal information, and go to their house secretly in the night and kill them because they were such a bitch to me. However the nice ones, i will go to their house and leave a dozen roses with a picture of my smiling face attached. Killing clients would be strictly prohibited and we would be forced to give you a stern warning if you engaged in such actions.
This is why i suggested the orgies, to relieve stress of the booth memebers i hope you give this suggestion great thought and hopefully include it as club activity
On March 20 2013 10:58 Aerisky wrote:
Because her heart and spirit will never be broken!
I wont be playing fair tho pics of cute kittens and hunky men will await her she will slowly succumb to the power of qtpie kittens
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i did a redo thinking the original didn't work. i preferred the redo. sorry moderators and fellow TLers
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On March 20 2013 09:12 ninazerg wrote:Show nested quote +On March 20 2013 09:10 Shock710 wrote:I like the idea of the friendly booth for people to troll them and relieve stress, but what about some of the stress of the people in the booth being trolled, no matter how friendly and nice they're gonna be a little down at the end of the day So i recommend u also add a huge orgy party for the friendbooth people that way they always go to work happy, plus extra incentive to join plus ur logo seems to a perfect fit to the orgy parties I'm confused, what about the logo has anything to do with orgies? It's a key to the heart...
i can't explain it. I think the fact that a heart can kind of look like an ass and the key is at the same height as where the ass is.. and then it is entering the other half of the heart, which one already associates hearts with love which one associates with sex... well anyways... maybe don't trust me.. this sounded sexual to me"is a long, hard process, usually which ends prematurely, and often, very disappointingly"
I think the booth is too fake. If you're looking for some real kindness you need someone who actually wants to be kind. If someone wants to be kind, they don't want to be fake. they want to give someone the real medicine that that person needs. Like sometimes i'm sad and i'll see some kid and he's looking at buzz light year toys and ya he's genuinely happy and he'd gimme his smile in his own way but that is not at the depth that i really want.
Similarly, fake kindness is dangerous. You can lie to yourself, for instance say "yes im good looking" and then someone lies and you feel good, you get "high" on that person who lied but that person was lying. So now this person makes you feel good and is also not honest with you. Someone who is less interested in you is someone who wants to make you feel good just for the moment... Someone who really cares about you will tell you the painful truth because it will help you in the long run.
This girl one time.. she said "yes you're nice looking" so i associated good things with her, but then i found out it didn't come from her true feelings and so i had built my own vision around something unsustainable... crushed.. they call it a crush for a reason.
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I suggest we sell hockey cards to provide the funding required for the booths.
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On March 20 2013 12:39 Japhybaby wrote:
i can't explain it. I think the fact that a heart can kind of look like an ass and the key is at the same height as where the ass is.. and then it is entering the other half of the heart, which one already associates hearts with love which one associates with sex... well anyways... maybe don't trust me.. this sounded sexual to me"is a long, hard process, usually which ends prematurely, and often, very disappointingly"
How in the world do you think this is sexual? I don't even know what the sentence "The key is at the same height as where the ass is" even means. This has nothing to do with sex, I was saying that a lot of business ventures fail before they even get up off the ground. Sometimes, when you start a business, it has a lot of enthusiasm and excitement, but after the initial thrust of effort, it all just runs out of juice. I don't want to see that happen.
I think the booth is too fake. If you're looking for some real kindness you need someone who actually wants to be kind. If someone wants to be kind, they don't want to be fake. they want to give someone the real medicine that that person needs. Like sometimes i'm sad and i'll see some kid and he's looking at buzz light year toys and ya he's genuinely happy and he'd gimme his smile in his own way but that is not at the depth that i really want.
You need to realize three things:
1. The booth is a kindness booth.
2. The person in that booth is a volunteer who wants to help others.
Once you understand these two things, you'll realize why people would be attracted to this idea and concept.
Similarly, fake kindness is dangerous. You can lie to yourself, for instance say "yes im good looking" and then someone lies and you feel good, you get "high" on that person who lied but that person was lying. So now this person makes you feel good and is also not honest with you. Someone who is less interested in you is someone who wants to make you feel good just for the moment... Someone who really cares about you will tell you the painful truth because it will help you in the long run.
This girl one time.. she said "yes you're nice looking" so i associated good things with her, but then i found out it didn't come from her true feelings and so i had built my own vision around something unsustainable... crushed.. they call it a crush for a reason.
I don't quite follow you here...
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Oh man, a friendly booth would be fun  . I would definitely give that person a hug. And if it was a girl and she looked light I would pick her up and shake her back and forth (lightly ).
I think it can't hurt, but I feel like its just going to end up being this one awkward guy standing in a booth, smiling at people, while people shuffle along trying not to look at him so that they won't feel bad in not talking to someone who seems to really want attention - like those people on the street who want you to sign up for some charity.
It kind of reminds me of this time I went to Chapters. And there was an author for a children's book, and he was sitting all alone, at a table in the lobby, and no one was approaching him for signatures. And he just looked devastated, and everyone could tell. As I was leaving I heard a child say "mommy I feel bad for that man"...And I thought 'so do I'. It can be pretty lonely just standing in the middle of nowhere...after a while, you just start to feel very awkward and stressed, then unhappy.
Or like the "greeters" in the Bay, which I walk by every day on my way to school via an underground path. They just stand there and smile at people who pass by, and every time I pass by things seem more and more awkward for that person. They become uncomfortable, standing there uselessly, not having a real purpose, no one talking to them, trying to interact with people who really don't want to interact with you. I try not to make any eye contact. I don't want to know how things are going with them. But occasionally I see how uncomfortable and distressed they are, I just feel sorry for them.
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On March 20 2013 13:02 ninazerg wrote:Show nested quote +On March 20 2013 12:39 Japhybaby wrote:
i can't explain it. I think the fact that a heart can kind of look like an ass and the key is at the same height as where the ass is.. and then it is entering the other half of the heart, which one already associates hearts with love which one associates with sex... well anyways... maybe don't trust me.. this sounded sexual to me"is a long, hard process, usually which ends prematurely, and often, very disappointingly"
How in the world do you think this is sexual? I don't even know what the sentence "The key is at the same height as where the ass is" even means. This has nothing to do with sex, I was saying that a lot of business ventures fail before they even get up off the ground. Sometimes, when you start a business, it has a lot of enthusiasm and excitement, but after the initial thrust of effort, it all just runs out of juice. I don't want to see that happen. Show nested quote +
I think the booth is too fake. If you're looking for some real kindness you need someone who actually wants to be kind. If someone wants to be kind, they don't want to be fake. they want to give someone the real medicine that that person needs. Like sometimes i'm sad and i'll see some kid and he's looking at buzz light year toys and ya he's genuinely happy and he'd gimme his smile in his own way but that is not at the depth that i really want.
You need to realize three things: 1. The booth is a kindness booth. 2. The person in that booth is a volunteer who wants to help others. Once you understand these two things, you'll realize why people would be attracted to this idea and concept. Show nested quote +
Similarly, fake kindness is dangerous. You can lie to yourself, for instance say "yes im good looking" and then someone lies and you feel good, you get "high" on that person who lied but that person was lying. So now this person makes you feel good and is also not honest with you. Someone who is less interested in you is someone who wants to make you feel good just for the moment... Someone who really cares about you will tell you the painful truth because it will help you in the long run.
This girl one time.. she said "yes you're nice looking" so i associated good things with her, but then i found out it didn't come from her true feelings and so i had built my own vision around something unsustainable... crushed.. they call it a crush for a reason.
I don't quite follow you here...
1. Ok let me put this simply. It's a side view, from the waist down. The right side of the heart is the male's butt cheek curving out, the left side is the female's cheek. The key is the penis if we have x-ray vision to see through the woman's thigh.. well notjust her thigh.. its also in NES graphics ohand its alsokind of cropped out
2.ok i understand. Personally i'm skeptical of someone who can be kind to me without knowing how i identify myself. i'm very introverted thoush, so this might be related.
3. I think there are different kinds of kindness. Someone can mistake a shallow kindness for a deeper kindness and vice versa. I may think a person is kind because he tells me waht i want to hear but really he might be telling me harmful lies.The harmful lie feels good in the moment but where will it lead? It feels good to eat ice cream every night in the moment but where will that lead?
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Wear a shirt that says
"I'll talk about anything."
You become the booth.
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On March 20 2013 13:56 Trozz wrote:
Wear a shirt that says
"I'll talk about anything."
You become the booth.
Dam That's pretty meta. And you save costs on not maintaining booths and getting permits for your booths and stuff.
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On March 20 2013 13:17 Japhybaby wrote:Show nested quote +On March 20 2013 13:02 ninazerg wrote:On March 20 2013 12:39 Japhybaby wrote:
i can't explain it. I think the fact that a heart can kind of look like an ass and the key is at the same height as where the ass is.. and then it is entering the other half of the heart, which one already associates hearts with love which one associates with sex... well anyways... maybe don't trust me.. this sounded sexual to me"is a long, hard process, usually which ends prematurely, and often, very disappointingly"
How in the world do you think this is sexual? I don't even know what the sentence "The key is at the same height as where the ass is" even means. This has nothing to do with sex, I was saying that a lot of business ventures fail before they even get up off the ground. Sometimes, when you start a business, it has a lot of enthusiasm and excitement, but after the initial thrust of effort, it all just runs out of juice. I don't want to see that happen.
I think the booth is too fake. If you're looking for some real kindness you need someone who actually wants to be kind. If someone wants to be kind, they don't want to be fake. they want to give someone the real medicine that that person needs. Like sometimes i'm sad and i'll see some kid and he's looking at buzz light year toys and ya he's genuinely happy and he'd gimme his smile in his own way but that is not at the depth that i really want.
You need to realize three things: 1. The booth is a kindness booth. 2. The person in that booth is a volunteer who wants to help others. Once you understand these two things, you'll realize why people would be attracted to this idea and concept.
Similarly, fake kindness is dangerous. You can lie to yourself, for instance say "yes im good looking" and then someone lies and you feel good, you get "high" on that person who lied but that person was lying. So now this person makes you feel good and is also not honest with you. Someone who is less interested in you is someone who wants to make you feel good just for the moment... Someone who really cares about you will tell you the painful truth because it will help you in the long run.
This girl one time.. she said "yes you're nice looking" so i associated good things with her, but then i found out it didn't come from her true feelings and so i had built my own vision around something unsustainable... crushed.. they call it a crush for a reason.
I don't quite follow you here... 1. Ok let me put this simply. It's a side view, from the waist down. The right side of the heart is the male's butt cheek curving out, the left side is the female's cheek. The key is the penis if we have x-ray vision to see through the woman's thigh.. well notjust her thigh.. its also in NES graphics ohand its alsokind of cropped out
I'm having a really hard time following you here. It looks like a heart. If you did x-ray vision, you'd see someone's skeletal structure, not penises.
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EPT
