On March 16 2013 01:45 iamahydralisk wrote:

you're right, I shouldn't have told her that. however, I did tell her right after, very crystal clear, that I was only interested in her as a friend for now and the foreseeable future. this was weeks before the whole "disrespect" thing, btw, so she had plenty of time to let me know how she really felt. I thought I could tell her about my relationship issues because I saw her purely as a friend, nothing more. when she asked, I told her just like I'd tell anyone else who asked. it's obvious to me now that she still has strong feelings for me, but after she's tried to mindgame me like this, I really don't want to even talk to her anymore.

and by the way, my girlfriend and I fight a lot because we have a lot of miscommunication issues and probably some trust issues in there too. we're working on it but I'm at the point where she makes me a little sick to my stomach every time we see each other. not sure how I'm gonna handle that, but I guess I'll figure it out.

for now. as in you have sized her up in case your situation doesnt pan out

that is not just friends. that is a back up plan. that is incredibly shitty on multiple levels to both people

and you have trust issues in your relationship in part because of shit like you dipping your toes in the water by keeping this chick around. it isnt even person i used to see but i am not strictly 100% plutonic with.

you are actually saying to he—and telling us—that she could be a gf again in the future. that fact + the way you talk about your current gf + your other blog makes it perfectly clear that you have zero respect for your current gf, which is why you'd have a shitload of issues as far as trust and communication. the lack of respect you show her here is absolutely evident in the way you treat her

iamahydralisk

United States813 Posts

March 16 2013 17:47 GMT

#23

On March 16 2013 05:13 QuanticHawk wrote:

Show nested quote +

You're acting as if I'm some sort of demon for being attracted to other people while I'm with my current girlfriend, and quite frankly, it makes you come across as incredibly naive about relationships. It's entirely normal to be attracted to other people while you're in a committed relationship with someone. It's completely natural and biological. What ISN'T normal (or shouldn't be) is cheating on someone, and that's something I'd never do in a million years. Some people will cheat and some won't; I'm one of the people who won't under any circumstances.

Really dude, I know you like coming in here and white knighting for us, but it makes you look like you haven't had much relationship experience. There's absolutely nothing "shitty" or immoral about being attracted to other people when you're committed to one person. It all depends on what you do with that attraction. If you're a good person, you won't act on it. I won't.

iamahydralisk

United States813 Posts

March 16 2013 17:51 GMT

#24

And also, I respect my girlfriend. It's not a lack of respect that causes me to vent about her. It's the fact that she's easily the most difficult to deal with person I've ever met and its always drama drama drama. I haven't had that problem with any other girl, friend or otherwise. I love my girl to death but I'm also aware of the fact that she's one of those girls who causes drama, whether she means to or not.

QuanticHawk

United States32161 Posts

March 17 2013 13:21 GMT

#25

noticing someone is hot is normal. anyone who says otherwise is lying.

dating them beforehand, still liking them enough to consider soemthign in the future and mentioning it to that person = emotional cheating, which is what youve been doing

major difference

iamahydralisk

United States813 Posts

March 17 2013 17:20 GMT

#26

I agree with you that telling someone else you're attracted to them while you're in a committed relationship is emotional cheating if you leave things up in the air. however, I rectified my mistake immediately by setting boundaries and telling bitchface exactly what we are now (friends and absolutely nothing more) and telling her that I'm focused entirely on my girlfriend and making it work. it's not like I left the idea open or on the table. I shut it down as soon as I realized I shouldn't have said it, which was pretty much immediately. I do feel bad about saying it but then I made it crystal clear that girlfriend is the one I'm focused on; not bitchface.

KillerSOS

United States4207 Posts

March 17 2013 17:33 GMT

#27

While it is normal to be attracted to other people I don't think setting contingency plans is really all that fair to either of the girls involved. Being involved in a situation similar to this one it's impossible to settle the trust issues from the first relationship if you have a "backup" plan.

Also discussion your romantic life with another woman who is interested in you is just flat out wrong... not really any wiggle room there.

Good luck though, I didn't fare much better than you to be honest.

iamahydralisk

United States813 Posts

March 17 2013 17:35 GMT

#28

On March 18 2013 02:33 KillerSOS wrote:
While it is normal to be attracted to other people I don't think setting contingency plans is really all that fair to either of the girls involved. Being involved in a situation similar to this one it's impossible to settle the trust issues from the first relationship if you have a "backup" plan.

Also discussion your romantic life with another woman who is interested in you is just flat out wrong... not really any wiggle room there.

Good luck though, I didn't fare much better than you to be honest.

The only reason I was comfortable telling bitchface about my other relationship was because I completely and honestly only wanted her as a friend, so I told her just as I'd tell any other friend. I agree completely that having a backup plan is wrong, which is why I shut the idea down right after I mistakenly said it.