. On a sidenote, I've never heard of someone stand up to wipe, I used to do what another commenter said about taking clothes off (I still do that if I'm feeling sick cuz I've done for what seems like forever now). I'm confused why your gf was peeping on you, how long have you been together that she wants to see you take a dump O.o, you guys are either really close, or she has interesting poop related fetishes lol.

bonifaceviii

Canada2890 Posts

March 12 2013 16:01 GMT

#26

Repeating from the last butt-wiping thread:

My wife stands to wipe, and I am not letting her teach our children that.

MrRicewife

Canada515 Posts

March 12 2013 17:03 GMT

#27

On March 12 2013 23:31 docvoc wrote:
I guess I just don't find pooping as funny as everyone else

Well that was when we were teens, and at that point it was roughly 2 years together. We had a 5 year relationship though, so we made it through the poop fiascoes! She left me for a man 10 years older than me though. Maybe he shit didn't stink, if you will....

I did the lean and wipe this morning. Not bad, not bad..

On March 13 2013 01:01 bonifaceviii wrote:
Repeating from the last butt-wiping thread:

My wife stands to wipe, and I am not letting her teach our children that.

Kekekeke. Thanks for the first date ice breaker!!

Burrfoot

United States1176 Posts

March 12 2013 21:23 GMT

#28

So another one of these blogs that is sorely in need of some pictures. So I grabbed some 3D models online and provided these for you!

Here is the OP on the toilet fapping/crapping happily away:

Here is the OP's original wiping position:

Here is the OP's interpretation of the correct wiping position:

I am here to argue that it is perfectly OK to stand up and wipe. The only main 'correct' recommendation is to wipe away from your balls / holes. Usually I'm lazy and just lean on one butt cheek to swipe especially if it's a particularly moist #2, but have been known to stand up and wipe away, making sure to turn around and admire my work. I happen to like seeing my shit and gauging the various size, buoyancy, and composition of my shit to make sure nothing terrible is happening. As I mention in another post, I currently have a hemorrhoid, so pooping can be somewhat painful, but nothing a soothing moist towelette can't sooth. Popping the smooth roid bulb into your anus is also somewhat nice.

Futabot

United States37 Posts

March 12 2013 21:42 GMT

#29

This made my waiting for HotS a million time easier.

ROOTIllusion

United States1060 Posts

March 12 2013 21:42 GMT

#30

the OHMAGAWD clip ROFL

HardlyNever

United States1258 Posts

March 12 2013 21:50 GMT

#31

What's with girls and weird bathroom fetishes.

Back in college I had a gf that liked to pee when I was around (in the shower, using the mirror, etc.) At first I thought it was just her really needing to go, but after her doing it once-twice a month for like two years, I realized she was just making random excuses. She liked to pee in front of me.

Weird.

Charger

United States2405 Posts

March 12 2013 21:59 GMT

#32

OMG I've been doing it wrong for so long!

Ahh fuck it, I've gotten through life just fine so far. Although this brings to mind the time my buddy walked in on me, like you OP, balls out, tp in hand, shit in the toilet and asked me why I wiped like that. Until today I had no idea what he was talking about...wow so I'm the weird one.

But for real, hilarious OP!

Charger

United States2405 Posts

March 12 2013 22:00 GMT

#33

On March 13 2013 06:50 HardlyNever wrote:
What's with girls and weird bathroom fetishes.

Back in college I had a gf that liked to pee when I was around (in the shower, using the mirror, etc.) At first I thought it was just her really needing to go, but after her doing it once-twice a month for like two years, I realized she was just making random excuses. She liked to pee in front of me.

Weird.

My fiance purposefully leaves the bathroom door open when she goes to the bathroom. If I'm down the hall or whatever, no problemo, I'll leave the door open myself. But when I'm 10 feet away in bed...please close that door crazy lady.

MrRicewife

Canada515 Posts

March 13 2013 00:43 GMT

#34

My current gf is like that, and is very ostentatious about it. She will be hugging me in the shower and either two things happen:
a) I will be looking down over her shoulder and all of a sudden I see pee... Sigh....
b) I will see a smirk or hear a faint giggle... pee pee time.

Thank GOD she doesn't poop with the door open. Although one time she left one by accident... I made sure she never did, ever again via calling her work and scolding her about the present she left me.

On March 13 2013 06:59 Charger wrote:
OMG I've been doing it wrong for so long!

Ahh fuck it, I've gotten through life just fine so far. Although this brings to mind the time my buddy walked in on me, like you OP, balls out, tp in hand, shit in the toilet and asked me why I wiped like that. Until today I had no idea what he was talking about...wow so I'm the weird one.

But for real, hilarious OP!

Haha it's kinda like riding a bike wrong. At first it's hard to make the switch, but after, you don't even think about it.

ieatkids5

United States4628 Posts

March 13 2013 01:23 GMT

#35

wtf squatting is like the only way to wipe your butt. if you stand, it's difficult to get the toilet paper in between your cheeks to your anus. why would anyone stand to wipe?

Mothra

United States1448 Posts

March 13 2013 01:45 GMT

#36

Some pretty serious points being raised. May deserve a thread in General. If you can't even wipe your butt correctly, how can you be trusted with anything more complex? We must separate correct from incorrect, once and for all, if the human race is to progress.

HereBeDragons

1429 Posts

March 13 2013 03:48 GMT

#37

I must recommend you to try out the ultimate solution and the most elegant way to release your charges: Modern Japanese Toilet seats!

+ Show Spoiler +

(Not joking these are real, I've tried it and going to the restroom has never been more fantastic. You can clean and dry without the need to wipe them yourself. Another great invention of the world)

codonbyte

United States840 Posts

March 30 2013 09:29 GMT

#38

lol I've always been a stander, but I think I'm gonna have to convert. I've always been afraid of accidentally dunking my hand in the toilet if I were to do it while sitting, but I've read several other TL posts about butt-wiping and I'm convinced that it is the way to go. I guess it's like delaying building static defense: may be harder at first, but once you learn to hold off aggression using minimal units/defenses you can get an economy rolling faster and stuff. Yeah, that sounds about right.