EPT![[image loading]](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-y3X_xJksSQk/ToZfEYRqJDI/AAAAAAAADYI/q8DyHphr6Sg/s1600/crazy+stupid+love+2.jpg)
Jacob Palmer: Your wife cheated on you because you lost sight of who you are as a man, as a husband and probably as a lover.
Just this other day, I was picking up my ex-girlfriend from her work. She took 20 minutes to come down. Apparently she left a stain on the chair, and she couldn't get rid of it. Having some experience with this, I told her what she should have done, in hindsight. You see, I was busy performing cunnilingus at home on one of my previous ex- girlfriend while watching Silence of the Lambs, and then I heard the front door unlock. She was stark naked, so I told her, okay go to the toilet, lock the door and change up. Crisis averted I thought. Then I realized, there was a wet patch on the sofa. Thinking on my feet, took up a cup of water on the living room table, and poured it all over the wet patch. If anyone asked, I spilled water on the sofa. Sure as hell beats telling my dad that my girlfriend came on the coach.
A month ago, I joined a local dating academy. A legit one, not the kind that you leave dressing up like a douche, objectifying women and shooting shitty pickup lines at everything at a vagina, but one that you leave as the man that you want to be. I’ve learnt so much in my short time there, but the most important thing I learned, is that there are no limits. You are the most important person in your life, be who you want to be.
It’s very easy for me to go about saying that my ex-girlfriend is a god damn whore, and that I deserve someone better, but I kind of do realize why she broke up with me. She fell out of love, and that’s the ugly truth. Maybe because it had something to do with me deciding that I didn't give a fuck about how I dressed, a fuck about how I looked, and wore a grey $10 shirt and baggy jeans every fucking day while she always dressed up to see me. Maybe because my waist went up 5 inches; fat fucking myself on GOMAD and shitty food while on Starting Strength, influenced by a community that believes that a man is measured by the numbers on a weighting scale. Don’t ever be fucking influenced by society, know your values, and reject anything else. Don’t ever use be happy with yourself as an excuse to stop improving.
I know that my previous blogs have all been boo-hoo I’m so sad and I’m being tortured, and everyone’s just leave her you idiot. In a way, I think I deserve this pain, in some ways, I think I kind of fucked up my girlfriend, and this is retribution. Here was a girl, been through a bunch of abusive relationships, deciding that, that one night stand she had was actually a nice guy for once, and she’d actually put in all her effort into the relationship with him, while truth be told, all I thought of her was a stepping stone, to a better girlfriend. I knew, I knew all along, I since the start of this deep down, that this would come, I would get my just deserts.
Every cloud has a silver lining, and I guess that for what its worth, my ex started having feelings for me again, ever since I decided to drop some fucking inches, dress up properly, and become more attractive. I can wallow in self-pity all I want about the other guy, but I realized, over a beer with my ex a couple of days ago, that the guy has it no better than me. She's refusing to have sex with him.
"I admitted to him that I fooled around with his friends, and that I'm not having sex with him because I cherish him and he means a lot to me, not until I have real emotions for him."
That spilled out after some alcohol. Absolute fucking horseshit, at least not for this girl. She spewed the same drivel at me just after the break-up, that she didn't want to sleep with me because sex is boring and she thinks we have more. The real reasons, was that she just wasn't attracted to me anymore, and I couldn't please her then. Also, over drinks.
Just two days ago, after drinking a bit too much, she also revealed to me that she sees my face when kissing the guy, and she thinks about me, and see me everywhere.
Today we had somewhat of a fight. I was pissed off that she blew me off today to see the other guy. It went no where initially, with me telling her to come by the next day and get all of her shit out of my house. After some crying, she revealed that she was afraid to invest in her relationship with me; I never appreciated anything that she did in the past. Which is untrue, I just never showed it actually, but I really was a dick to her then. She apologized to me and she promised that she would start putting in effort.
My ex-girlfriend threw me a birthday party. I told her that she was terrible with words, because she really is, and to show me what I meant to her through her actions. That birthday party was one of the best moments of my life so far. She spent $1200 on that night alone. This, coming from a girl who talks about designer hand bags and Louboutins every fucking day. She could have easily bought two Louboutin shoes, but up to date she has never found the heart to shell out the money for those shoes. That means a lot to me.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/M34wqzL.png)
She smashed cake on my face. I rubbed it onto hers!
Hell-fire. I choose to be here, because she's worth it. I went back on the promise I made to her when I told her join me and take a leap of faith, and its now my turn.
