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The Sun is Wet Under the River

Blogs > HataZStriker
Post a Reply
HataZStriker
Profile Blog Joined September 2012
United States72 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-02-16 15:42:57
February 16 2013 15:37 GMT
#1

Good Read's blog is about girls, language, humanity, purple colored clouds, poetry, joy, third century robots, love, evil tongues that give eternal pleasure, dead butterflies, jumping on a lake, and everything that tickles the intellect, makes the heart feel sublime emotions, and opens your mind about life. It is my way of contributing my talent and my heart to TL. Enjoy!


Hi guys! How have you all been? Sorry I've been busy with school stuff and many things. I was not able to respond to some of your messages and PMs. But finally here I am, ready to fulfill the requests sent to me via PM to write on my blog more often. I was a bit worried because I don't have much time but I don't want to disappoint my fans and readers. So here goes. For this blog entry, I will use a writing technique I learned in the recent novel writing seminar which I attended. They all praised me for my bravery and vision, and others even say I need more work. It flatters me that famous writers and critics want me to write more. Enjoy guys!

The Sun is Wet Under the River:
How a Story Journeyed Through Eternal Memory,
The Lasting Peace of Solitude Or Nothing At All


There was a bit of a fire in the village. First there was one house. One. Pretty. House.

But there was none. It was not even a house. Is it a giraffe? Oh goat, who is the greatest of all time when it comes to putting out fires? Maybe the cops know.

It was 3am. The window framed the city lights. Inspector Mills run his hand through his hair. Thinking. Breathing hard. "Tonight you are mine", said the Inspector to his lover. "Tonight, I am ALL yours" the young man replied submissively, as he unbuttoned both their pants. Their masculine silhouettes wrestled and fought each other in the dark, as the city was burning.

By now, the little fire was already city-huge. An woman, early 40s at least, was running on stiletoes, carrying her beloved 30-inch flat screen television, a sign that she has succumbed to the promises of a neoliberal capital economy, which promises progress, the life of luxury and prestige, but was actually built on the backs of ill-paid, and overworked sweatshop laborers in the Third World country.

Just the same, her thoughts or none: which she actually had plenty (if not for the tireless idea that had been bugging her all day), she rested. She wept.


"What better time!" What better time indeed, for no sooner than his brain uttered this thoughts past through the complex neuronetworks of itself (the very same brain), that she found herself wanting some warmth for the early morning - the fire was just not enough.

Or maybe it was a Tomasian fire, one that burns within. Not of this world but in my heart. The Pope knew of love too - Deus Caritas Est. God. Is. Love. Is. He is Alive. Inside me. Fireman, please fill me up inside! I want that fire to burn bright inside me.

It was 3:05 in the morning. There was nowhere to do it so we did it behind the fire hydrant. A 2-foot metal tube covering our sizzling body. The world in chaos. Yet nothing is more important. Not for my longing 42 year old body. Not now.

6:00. PM. The night, now a distant memory. Or is it.

"Ding Dong!"

I rushed to the door of my hotel room. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Could this really be... Is this really...

Slowly like a dying cat, or an elephant sleeping in under a tree in the savannah. I pulled the envelope. It was old, and sterling. I flipped it over.

From... JACQUES... SAUNTERE...

(First of many parts... to be continued)

*
http://www.teamliquid.net/blog/goodreads
OniGami
Profile Joined December 2011
Japan140 Posts
February 16 2013 15:56 GMT
#2
I don't know man. I'm not that much into short stories and literature, but this one is simply bad.
Do you really think this is good?
物の哀れ
MasterOfPuppets
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Romania6942 Posts
February 16 2013 16:03 GMT
#3
If this is meant to be a parody or satire of other blogs or pieces of work... good job? I guess?

If not, then I'm afraid to say it's very, *very* poor.
"my shaft scares me too" - strenx 2014
OniGami
Profile Joined December 2011
Japan140 Posts
February 16 2013 16:08 GMT
#4
I'm sorry I tried to read this three times, but I don't get it, nevermind why you or others would think this is good?
What is this kind of literature? Like a revelation of an insane man? A multiperson perspective story? Where does one even start in order to start to understand stories like this?
物の哀れ
Twinkle Toes
Profile Joined May 2012
United States3605 Posts
February 16 2013 18:19 GMT
#5
Thefuck is this
Bisu - INnoVation - Dark - Rogue - Stats
Chairman Ray
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States11903 Posts
February 16 2013 19:55 GMT
#6
I came to this blog because I really liked your title. It shows a type of perception that I can really appreciate. As some of the other posters have mentioned, your piece right here isn't finished yet. I think you've been really inspired by the writing seminar that you attended, and you were eager to try out the new writing techniques that you learned. Without having an understanding of how this writing technique was developed or how it's meant to be used, your writing doesn't feel very fluid. When I'm reading this, I get fragmented images of a story, but no connection between elements. What I would like to see in your next blog is how you think and how you write rather than what you have learned at a writing seminar. I think you have a talent for writing and I'm looking forward to reading your next blog!

PS. I'm not a writer, I'm terrible at it, but I love reading ^^
radscorpion9
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Canada2252 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-02-17 05:12:01
February 16 2013 20:39 GMT
#7
I like that you put the "ding dong" in there, for some reason

Edit: Okay I admit it I skimmed. But now that I read the whole thing, I found it to be pretty funny and weird story . I think you should write a book and sell it, and then wait for the rave reviews!!! I think there are some people out there who would eat this up. Art doesn't really have any standards anymore, its pretty much anything goes!

I love the random sex in a burning city/village. And the ending, so mysterious! I feel like we need more crazy books out there. That randomly shift from one scene to the next. Kind of reminds me of Ulysses by James Joyce. Most people have no idea what its trying to say, but it became a famous work! I'm sure people will attribute all sorts of crazy meanings to your work, and then you'll be some kind of icon in the humanities.
ZaWarudo
Profile Joined October 2009
United States32 Posts
February 18 2013 10:25 GMT
#8
whatthefuckdidiread.jpg
HataZStriker
Profile Blog Joined September 2012
United States72 Posts
February 25 2013 10:52 GMT
#9
On February 17 2013 05:39 radscorpion9 wrote:
I like that you put the "ding dong" in there, for some reason

Edit: Okay I admit it I skimmed. But now that I read the whole thing, I found it to be pretty funny and weird story . I think you should write a book and sell it, and then wait for the rave reviews!!! I think there are some people out there who would eat this up. Art doesn't really have any standards anymore, its pretty much anything goes!

I love the random sex in a burning city/village. And the ending, so mysterious! I feel like we need more crazy books out there. That randomly shift from one scene to the next. Kind of reminds me of Ulysses by James Joyce. Most people have no idea what its trying to say, but it became a famous work! I'm sure people will attribute all sorts of crazy meanings to your work, and then you'll be some kind of icon in the humanities.

Thank you. All the established writers in the workshops and writing seminars I attend appreciate this kind of literature as well. I have really been getting huge requests and not only here in TL. I'm just happy to tell stories. Watch out for the next parts.
http://www.teamliquid.net/blog/goodreads
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