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Reflection on weight/self image problems

Blogs > Arisen
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
Arisen
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States2382 Posts
February 14 2013 05:51 GMT
#1
So, I was in a thread the other day that reminded me of the topic of weight loss. Early in my life I was very overweight for my age. I was very sickly as a child and had to take steroids for medical purposes; even then I could hardly leave my room. A lot of people associate steroids with athletes nowadays and believe that steroids help you put on muscle. While taking steroids can help people put on extra muscle mass when they work out a lot, a more sedentary person (i.e a sick person) who takes them will put often put on weight.

So all through my childhood I had a lot of extra weight packed on. As my body grew I never kept putting weight on, but my shape never changed very much. Around high school I was very self conscious about my image because of the weight, and I started trying every diet/exercise thing I could find. Nothing ever worked. At the end of the day I always ended up cheating or giving up; it was just too hard to maintain.

A year or two later I heard this in a song on an album my friend asked me to check out...

"Heart throb never, Black and Ugly as ever; However i stay Gucci down to the socks, rings and watch filled with rocks and my jam knock in your Mitsubishi. Girls pee-pee when they see me, Navajo's creep me in they Tee-pee... I got that good love girl you didn't know?"
- Christopher Wallace; RIP

I always loved literature class and I analyzed every song and book I could get my hands on to see what little things I could get out of them. This line just completely changed how I thought about my weight. I realized that the reason I was always trying to lose weight because of OTHER people. I wanted girls to find me attractive, I wanted to look "attractive." At the end of the day, I wanted to impress other people; it was never about me, it was about them.

This sample from "One More Chance" made me realize that my weight, the thing I obsessed about constantly, wasn't really that important. I was me, and I liked who I was; I was smart, interesting and funny. Christopher Wallace was rumored to have had a weight of 380 lbs, had a lazy eye and isn't really what most people would consider attractive, yet he was still a sex symbol and someone a lot of people looked up to. He knew who he was as a person and was comfortable with it; he oozed self-confidence and was a charismatic person.

From that point on, I was me; no reservations. I didn't buy baggy clothes to try to hide my weight, I didn't bathe with my shirt on, or any of the things I used to do because of my weight. I held my head high wherever I went. When talking to women I no longer felt like I was going to make myself look stupid or worried about weather she thought I was gross because of my weight, I just came as a person and became very successful in the romance department. I was no longer the shy, self-conscious kid who was a little overweight. I was Brandon.

Some time later I picked up rock climbing and was frustrated by how much slower I was because of my weight, so I decided I wanted to be a bit slimmer. I started a very modest diet and exercise program and the weight just fell off. The thing that was keeping me back from losing weight was because I was doing it for other people at the end of the day, not myself. Once I was comfortable with myself and didn't need to lose weight, it became so much easier.

I felt like writing a blog to tell that little story, hopefully it helps some people out. Have a nice night TL

***
"If you're not angry, you're not paying attention"
Particle
Profile Joined July 2010
United States31 Posts
February 14 2013 07:32 GMT
#2
Around high school I was very self conscious about my image because of the weight, and I started trying every diet/exercise thing I could find. Nothing ever worked.

Hmm sounds an awful lot like laziness.

I started a very modest diet and exercise program and the weight just fell off.

Hmm sounds like you decided to not be lazy.

Once I was comfortable with myself and didn't need to lose weight, it became so much easier.

Whether you were comfortable with yourself or not ( you know very well you weren't) you still needed to lose weight or risk suffering a vast list of health complications. Grats on lying to yourself.

User was temp banned for this post.
Capped
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United Kingdom7236 Posts
February 14 2013 07:59 GMT
#3
^ Sounds an awful lot like you decided to be a douche.

And your already reported, shame i dont get the satisfaction.

Nice blog, my friend
Useless wet fish.
Arisen
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States2382 Posts
February 14 2013 10:46 GMT
#4
On February 14 2013 16:59 Capped wrote:
^ Sounds an awful lot like you decided to be a douche.

And your already reported, shame i dont get the satisfaction.

Nice blog, my friend


Yeah, if you read his history it's all negative comments, it's probably just some guy who wanted to troll and not get banned so he made a second account. Oh well. Ty
"If you're not angry, you're not paying attention"
sc4k
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United Kingdom5454 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-02-14 14:12:36
February 14 2013 14:12 GMT
#5
Very interesting. There's a trainer at the gym who used to be obese and is now in perfect (way better than me) shape, and he is doing a study in nutrition and dieting for obese people so he can pass what he gained (or lost) down to others. The first thing he says is that if you are not in the right place, mentally, the weight will never come off. He says it's all about self-acceptance and about feeling good with yourself BEFORE any weight comes off. So you proved it in action. There's nothing wrong with being dissatisfied about your weight, but it should be the right kind of dissatisfaction, not a self-loathing or self-pity. The same way a fighter will say 'I need to be 70kg for this contest, so I need to lose 9 kg of weight until then'.

Congratulations to you and I wish you the best.

PS stop by at TLHF if you haven't already!
mindjames
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Israel433 Posts
February 14 2013 15:10 GMT
#6
Cool blog man.
I still haven't achieved my weight goals (I'm an ectomorph) but reading this gave me a pretty good boost just now.
mordk
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Chile8385 Posts
February 14 2013 16:30 GMT
#7
On February 14 2013 16:32 Particle wrote:
Show nested quote +
Around high school I was very self conscious about my image because of the weight, and I started trying every diet/exercise thing I could find. Nothing ever worked.

Hmm sounds an awful lot like laziness.

Show nested quote +
I started a very modest diet and exercise program and the weight just fell off.

Hmm sounds like you decided to not be lazy.

Show nested quote +
Once I was comfortable with myself and didn't need to lose weight, it became so much easier.

Whether you were comfortable with yourself or not ( you know very well you weren't) you still needed to lose weight or risk suffering a vast list of health complications. Grats on lying to yourself.

User was temp banned for this post.

Ugh, such a new user and such a terrible poster already, I predict the mods are gonna have fun with you lad.

On topic. Yes, losing weight has to be about yourself. In improving yourself and your self-image everything else just comes by itself. Losing weight is easier when you're not completely obsessed about it because of what other people might say/think.
Hyperbola
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States2553 Posts
February 14 2013 16:55 GMT
#8
Calories in, calories out
count your protein, carbs, and calories consumption
eat right, exercise, and dot your progress
This is expert weight loss advice btw, if you read this you owe me $1000 dollars for the counseling fee.
####
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18857 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-02-14 21:23:33
February 14 2013 18:28 GMT
#9
On February 14 2013 23:12 sc4k wrote:
Very interesting. There's a trainer at the gym who used to be obese and is now in perfect (way better than me) shape, and he is doing a study in nutrition and dieting for obese people so he can pass what he gained (or lost) down to others. The first thing he says is that if you are not in the right place, mentally, the weight will never come off. He says it's all about self-acceptance and about feeling good with yourself BEFORE any weight comes off. So you proved it in action. There's nothing wrong with being dissatisfied about your weight, but it should be the right kind of dissatisfaction, not a self-loathing or self-pity. The same way a fighter will say 'I need to be 70kg for this contest, so I need to lose 9 kg of weight until then'.

Congratulations to you and I wish you the best.

PS stop by at TLHF if you haven't already!

Yeah, I must say this is the best way to go about it. One of the reasons I've hesitated to put up my "fat to fit" blog deals with some rather "unhealthy" strategies that I just happened to make work for myself, and really do not want to encourage in others. Also my bodyfat isn't quite low enough!

Now you just gotta pick up some weights, OP
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
Arisen
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States2382 Posts
February 14 2013 20:23 GMT
#10
On February 15 2013 01:55 Hyperbola wrote:
Calories in, calories out
count your protein, carbs, and calories consumption
eat right, exercise, and dot your progress
This is expert weight loss advice btw, if you read this you owe me $1000 dollars for the counseling fee.


I think a lot of people who struggle daily with getting healthier would disagree
"If you're not angry, you're not paying attention"
ieatkids5
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United States4628 Posts
February 14 2013 21:22 GMT
#11
On February 15 2013 05:23 Arisen wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 15 2013 01:55 Hyperbola wrote:
Calories in, calories out
count your protein, carbs, and calories consumption
eat right, exercise, and dot your progress
This is expert weight loss advice btw, if you read this you owe me $1000 dollars for the counseling fee.


I think a lot of people who struggle daily with getting healthier would disagree

This is so true. I see people giving out that same advice ("take in less calories than your body burns and you'll lose weight"), but it's not enough for certain people. of course for some people, they actually don't know that they are getting fat because they simply eat too much junk food, but for others, it's not that they don't know, it's because of other factors.

Someone can understand how to lose weight, but lack the motivation, state of mind, environment, encouragement, etc etc to actually go through with that process. the source of the problem is not that they lack the knowledge, so telling them "in order to lose weight just maintain a calorie deficit" won't solve the problem.
Hyperbola
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States2553 Posts
February 14 2013 22:34 GMT
#12
On February 15 2013 06:22 ieatkids5 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 15 2013 05:23 Arisen wrote:
On February 15 2013 01:55 Hyperbola wrote:
Calories in, calories out
count your protein, carbs, and calories consumption
eat right, exercise, and dot your progress
This is expert weight loss advice btw, if you read this you owe me $1000 dollars for the counseling fee.


I think a lot of people who struggle daily with getting healthier would disagree

This is so true. I see people giving out that same advice ("take in less calories than your body burns and you'll lose weight"), but it's not enough for certain people. of course for some people, they actually don't know that they are getting fat because they simply eat too much junk food, but for others, it's not that they don't know, it's because of other factors.

Someone can understand how to lose weight, but lack the motivation, state of mind, environment, encouragement, etc etc to actually go through with that process. the source of the problem is not that they lack the knowledge, so telling them "in order to lose weight just maintain a calorie deficit" won't solve the problem.

Okay, then all 'these people' have to do is work on self discipline in addition to losing weight. It's not like a person gets an iron will out of thin air. Practice makes perfect.
####
RowdierBob
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
Australia13416 Posts
February 15 2013 00:29 GMT
#13
As someone with Crohns Disease I can understand the problems you faced with steroids. It's difficult for people to understand sometimes that you can't control your weight on some drugs. Thankfully I've only ever had to take short terms doses of prednisolone but I've seen the effects of long-term usage on people and it's horrible for them.

Weightloss isn't simple for a lot of people and some can be quite harsh when they don't understand underlying factors.

Best of luck. Set yourself a goal and really go after it. Don't bother with diets as they're just a short-term fix. As cliched as it sounds, you really need to commit yourself to a healthier lifestyle--exercise, nutrition and sleep. Take a look at the health and fitness forum here on TL--the wealth of knowledge and support there is sensational.

Good luck!
"Terrans are pretty much space-Australians" - H
RowdierBob
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
Australia13416 Posts
February 15 2013 00:34 GMT
#14
On February 15 2013 07:34 Hyperbola wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 15 2013 06:22 ieatkids5 wrote:
On February 15 2013 05:23 Arisen wrote:
On February 15 2013 01:55 Hyperbola wrote:
Calories in, calories out
count your protein, carbs, and calories consumption
eat right, exercise, and dot your progress
This is expert weight loss advice btw, if you read this you owe me $1000 dollars for the counseling fee.


I think a lot of people who struggle daily with getting healthier would disagree

This is so true. I see people giving out that same advice ("take in less calories than your body burns and you'll lose weight"), but it's not enough for certain people. of course for some people, they actually don't know that they are getting fat because they simply eat too much junk food, but for others, it's not that they don't know, it's because of other factors.

Someone can understand how to lose weight, but lack the motivation, state of mind, environment, encouragement, etc etc to actually go through with that process. the source of the problem is not that they lack the knowledge, so telling them "in order to lose weight just maintain a calorie deficit" won't solve the problem.

Okay, then all 'these people' have to do is work on self discipline in addition to losing weight. It's not like a person gets an iron will out of thin air. Practice makes perfect.


Don't be a dick about it. If you've ever had to take corticosteroids (which I suspect you haven't) you really can't judge how brutal they can be to your body and your mental state. Weight loss isn't as simple for some as it is others.
"Terrans are pretty much space-Australians" - H
Hyperbola
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States2553 Posts
February 15 2013 01:44 GMT
#15
On February 15 2013 09:34 RowdierBob wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 15 2013 07:34 Hyperbola wrote:
On February 15 2013 06:22 ieatkids5 wrote:
On February 15 2013 05:23 Arisen wrote:
On February 15 2013 01:55 Hyperbola wrote:
Calories in, calories out
count your protein, carbs, and calories consumption
eat right, exercise, and dot your progress
This is expert weight loss advice btw, if you read this you owe me $1000 dollars for the counseling fee.


I think a lot of people who struggle daily with getting healthier would disagree

This is so true. I see people giving out that same advice ("take in less calories than your body burns and you'll lose weight"), but it's not enough for certain people. of course for some people, they actually don't know that they are getting fat because they simply eat too much junk food, but for others, it's not that they don't know, it's because of other factors.

Someone can understand how to lose weight, but lack the motivation, state of mind, environment, encouragement, etc etc to actually go through with that process. the source of the problem is not that they lack the knowledge, so telling them "in order to lose weight just maintain a calorie deficit" won't solve the problem.

Okay, then all 'these people' have to do is work on self discipline in addition to losing weight. It's not like a person gets an iron will out of thin air. Practice makes perfect.


Don't be a dick about it. If you've ever had to take corticosteroids (which I suspect you haven't) you really can't judge how brutal they can be to your body and your mental state. Weight loss isn't as simple for some as it is others.

Didn't mean to come off as a dick.
I guess what I tried to say that anything is possible with enough practice and desire, even weight loss in unfortunate circumstances.
####
Arisen
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States2382 Posts
February 15 2013 01:47 GMT
#16
On February 15 2013 07:34 Hyperbola wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 15 2013 06:22 ieatkids5 wrote:
On February 15 2013 05:23 Arisen wrote:
On February 15 2013 01:55 Hyperbola wrote:
Calories in, calories out
count your protein, carbs, and calories consumption
eat right, exercise, and dot your progress
This is expert weight loss advice btw, if you read this you owe me $1000 dollars for the counseling fee.


I think a lot of people who struggle daily with getting healthier would disagree

This is so true. I see people giving out that same advice ("take in less calories than your body burns and you'll lose weight"), but it's not enough for certain people. of course for some people, they actually don't know that they are getting fat because they simply eat too much junk food, but for others, it's not that they don't know, it's because of other factors.

Someone can understand how to lose weight, but lack the motivation, state of mind, environment, encouragement, etc etc to actually go through with that process. the source of the problem is not that they lack the knowledge, so telling them "in order to lose weight just maintain a calorie deficit" won't solve the problem.

Okay, then all 'these people' have to do is work on self discipline in addition to losing weight. It's not like a person gets an iron will out of thin air. Practice makes perfect.


Why do you think weight loss is one of the biggest industries in the world right now if it's really that simple. Some people spend their entire lives overweight while almost always trying to lose weight. By simplifying such a difficult problem you're degrading/trivializing a very large amount of people who struggle with maintaining a healthy weight and making it sound like they're just weak people who don't try hard enough without knowing anything about them or what problems' they're facing.
"If you're not angry, you're not paying attention"
BirdKiller
Profile Joined January 2011
United States428 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-02-15 07:45:45
February 15 2013 07:45 GMT
#17
It's a difficult problem to get out of because it's inversely easier to get into but a condition most people could've prevented by self control and discipline. Most people who in this state are in that state because they don't try bother to make the struggle of getting out either.

Sure, there's always that one or two snowflake where God or the world planned the person to be fat, obese, etc and has to struggle first getting out of his or her forsaken state before enjoying the bounty of good health, but that doesn't excuse the rest in large numbers who for the most part, chose to be in that state through actions and inactions.
phyre112
Profile Joined August 2009
United States3090 Posts
February 15 2013 08:20 GMT
#18
On February 15 2013 10:47 Arisen wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 15 2013 07:34 Hyperbola wrote:
On February 15 2013 06:22 ieatkids5 wrote:
On February 15 2013 05:23 Arisen wrote:
On February 15 2013 01:55 Hyperbola wrote:
Calories in, calories out
count your protein, carbs, and calories consumption
eat right, exercise, and dot your progress
This is expert weight loss advice btw, if you read this you owe me $1000 dollars for the counseling fee.


I think a lot of people who struggle daily with getting healthier would disagree

This is so true. I see people giving out that same advice ("take in less calories than your body burns and you'll lose weight"), but it's not enough for certain people. of course for some people, they actually don't know that they are getting fat because they simply eat too much junk food, but for others, it's not that they don't know, it's because of other factors.

Someone can understand how to lose weight, but lack the motivation, state of mind, environment, encouragement, etc etc to actually go through with that process. the source of the problem is not that they lack the knowledge, so telling them "in order to lose weight just maintain a calorie deficit" won't solve the problem.

Okay, then all 'these people' have to do is work on self discipline in addition to losing weight. It's not like a person gets an iron will out of thin air. Practice makes perfect.


Why do you think weight loss is one of the biggest industries in the world right now if it's really that simple. Some people spend their entire lives overweight while almost always trying to lose weight. By simplifying such a difficult problem you're degrading/trivializing a very large amount of people who struggle with maintaining a healthy weight and making it sound like they're just weak people who don't try hard enough without knowing anything about them or what problems' they're facing.


It really is that simple though. Calries in < Calories out is a physiological FACT. There is no way around it; the people that struggle with losing weight are actually ust having problems with either their research (don't understand this fact) with self honesty (are eating more than they're letting themselves believe) with dedication (are only eating healthy 3 or 4 days out of 7 every week) or with their goals (don't care enough to make the sacrifice) period.

If you've got the internet, know how to search google, and can measure things, there is no reason to be overweight in a first world country. I can't understand the emotional attachment that most people have to food - food is a resource that allows you to live, and nothing else. It's not comfort, it's not enjoyable, it's not fun, it's something that you have to consume to keep living, and after that point its utility ends.

I know someone earlier in this thread recommended you to the health and fitness forum - you posted there to motivate others, but I think they were trying to make you into a contributor, to keep YOU on the "be healthy" train, rather than to get other people involved.
FractalsOnFire
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1756 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-02-15 12:37:52
February 15 2013 12:37 GMT
#19
I'm sort of torn on this. On the one hand its great that you lost weight for yourself and not for the approval of others. On the other hand I can never agree that you should be proud of being overweight, even if you're just a little overweight. Sure accept the fact you're fat, don't let it affect your self esteem but also be constantly working to build a better you. Being proud of it though? Its that sort of attitude that leads to fat acceptance* and a greater burden on our health system.

*Not that fat acceptance is a bad thing but when its an excuse to not do anything about it, it becomes physically and psychologically unhealthy.
ieatkids5
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United States4628 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-02-15 19:19:57
February 15 2013 19:18 GMT
#20
On February 15 2013 17:20 phyre112 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 15 2013 10:47 Arisen wrote:
On February 15 2013 07:34 Hyperbola wrote:
On February 15 2013 06:22 ieatkids5 wrote:
On February 15 2013 05:23 Arisen wrote:
On February 15 2013 01:55 Hyperbola wrote:
Calories in, calories out
count your protein, carbs, and calories consumption
eat right, exercise, and dot your progress
This is expert weight loss advice btw, if you read this you owe me $1000 dollars for the counseling fee.


I think a lot of people who struggle daily with getting healthier would disagree

This is so true. I see people giving out that same advice ("take in less calories than your body burns and you'll lose weight"), but it's not enough for certain people. of course for some people, they actually don't know that they are getting fat because they simply eat too much junk food, but for others, it's not that they don't know, it's because of other factors.

Someone can understand how to lose weight, but lack the motivation, state of mind, environment, encouragement, etc etc to actually go through with that process. the source of the problem is not that they lack the knowledge, so telling them "in order to lose weight just maintain a calorie deficit" won't solve the problem.

Okay, then all 'these people' have to do is work on self discipline in addition to losing weight. It's not like a person gets an iron will out of thin air. Practice makes perfect.


Why do you think weight loss is one of the biggest industries in the world right now if it's really that simple. Some people spend their entire lives overweight while almost always trying to lose weight. By simplifying such a difficult problem you're degrading/trivializing a very large amount of people who struggle with maintaining a healthy weight and making it sound like they're just weak people who don't try hard enough without knowing anything about them or what problems' they're facing.


It really is that simple though. Calries in < Calories out is a physiological FACT. There is no way around it; the people that struggle with losing weight are actually ust having problems with either their research (don't understand this fact) with self honesty (are eating more than they're letting themselves believe) with dedication (are only eating healthy 3 or 4 days out of 7 every week) or with their goals (don't care enough to make the sacrifice) period.

If you've got the internet, know how to search google, and can measure things, there is no reason to be overweight in a first world country. I can't understand the emotional attachment that most people have to food - food is a resource that allows you to live, and nothing else. It's not comfort, it's not enjoyable, it's not fun, it's something that you have to consume to keep living, and after that point its utility ends.

I know someone earlier in this thread recommended you to the health and fitness forum - you posted there to motivate others, but I think they were trying to make you into a contributor, to keep YOU on the "be healthy" train, rather than to get other people involved.

i dont think anyone is disputing the fact that a caloric deficit will make you lose weight. it sounds more like Arisen is saying that for some overweight people (not all):
1. it's really hard for them to maintain a caloric deficit (for whatever reason, maybe they have other issues in life that they deal with by eating junk food, or whatever)
2. it's frustrating for other people to trivialize something they've struggled with their entire life by saying "dude it's easy, all you need to do is eat fewer calories than you burn" because they understand that fact, but it's difficult to actually do it.

about food being a resource - im pretty sure most people don't see food that way. food, for many people, is a pleasure, even an escape from stress. it's VERY enjoyable (and i can attest to that lol).

anyway, from reading these posts over again, it seems that Arisen is moreso frustrated at people who are trivializing the problem by saying things like "all you have to do is just..." when "all you have to do" is really really difficult for them. i dont think anyone disagrees that some people definitely need to work hard and improve their self discipline in order to achieve their goals. it was the way that it was being said.
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