EPTRating these either
- Weird
- Really Weird
- Really, Really Weird
- Really Fucking Weird
- Failsafe
Lunch Table Teachers
The teachers who sit at tables, its a lot like the men who stare at goats. They just kind of sit there and talk about stuff that makes no sense to anyone who isn't a teacher. They talk about their life problems, and probably how they can
The Table Mixes
Table 1: The age mix. This table has everyone from the young guns to the old farts. Really awkard mixes come from this. I'm unsure of what these teachers have in common, I'm even more unsure of how they deal with each other. The young teachers that aren't at all set in what they want in life, paired with older people who have lived the best part of their lives a long, long time ago. Sometimes I really don't understand how these people can put up with each other - seriously though, the strangest teachers get together to make up this table -, people that believe stuffed rabbits are animated mix with past (not sure on this one) drug abuser teachers. The weirdest mix, ever. I don't know what to say about this table sometimes, they mix it up sometimes, but mostly I'm speechless. The conversations from this table reflect the diversity of the table. The conversations are fragmented and FUCKING weird.
Weirdness level: Really, Really Weird
Table 2: The concentration mix. This table is so inter-disciplinary it puts MoMA to shame. Real, just like real. I'm not kidding when I say that I've seen about every single teacher subject area sit at this table at least once. I can't tell you how interesting this table's conversations are... not, this table has the most interesting conglomeration of people who literally don't speak to each other the entire time. When they do speak, they are really into it, and yet I can't tell wtf they are even talking about. They could be so interesting, hell a lot of the teachers that sit at this table have at least school stature in common, if they weren't so quiet at the table; when they get speaking, it looks like they are having a grand ole' time, except I can't follow the flurry of weird ideas and life problems these people have. Sometimes I really just wonder how these people sit together, it's like an inverse Frost-esque Mowing poem with the setting at a table, they work apart, even when together.
Weirdness level: Really Weird
Table 3: The table for administrators. I can't even describe how normal this table is. It is filled with one or two people max, the other are always working. Nothing much to say about this one, other than the fact that it is filled with the most powerful people in my highschool. I have to say that the most interesting part of this table is that they don't hesitate to bring people in and talk to them, quite seriously in fact, while partaking in their meals. It is so formal at that table, at least it seems that way since teachers keep a stiff-upper-lip near the British Headmaster, and just look generally more presentable when they pass by the table. This table is easily the most normal table, though I think I understand that the most half-way normal teachers tend to rise above the weirdest teachers when it comes to advancing up the job ladder.
Weirdness level: Weird(ly normal)
Table 4: The table for foreign teachers. This table has some of the most defunct mannerisms combined with the most recognizable accents to hit my school. This table mixes the regular teachers from America, with teachers from other countries. Now, before you call me a xenophobic asshole, I should say that I'm only talking about the teachers that act like they are part of American life in the 80's or 90's, because that is what they learned in their schools about America (sometimes even earlier than the 80's). The funniest part of the table are the people who "act" foreign. They are the teachers that act very multi-cultural or the teachers that talk about how their lives were so much better in higschool (when they were clubbing at 12 of course). Foreign here doesn't just mean out of the country, foreign means out of the city. I swear, some of the teachers that are imported to our school are either incredibly conservative christian, or have a laundry list of people they blew/banged going back before I was born. The stories I hear from this table should get put down in the Library of Congress for the pure hilarity of shit I
Weirdness level: Really Fucking Weird.
Table 5: The artist table. There are not words to describe this table, anon. Apart from most likely physically hurting the eyes (and ears if you read this aloud) of any composition/english major, the last sentence should give you an idea of what that table is like. The pain you feel right now, english major, I feel you, bro, serious. This table's inhabitants fluctuate between classy, probably somewhat cool in their younger years teachers to the person who most likely lied about their mental health state before applying for a job at my school. I can't explain these people, some wear completely monochromatic dress patterns, and some of them have their dresses picked out weeks in advance for the most arbitrary school days. When they aren't at this table, you can find these people miandering around the school, aimlessly, almost like they are acting out som existentialist thesis paper regarding life, except in its microcosmic form. The funny thing is that the acting and theatre teachers are the most normal of all of them, and the art teachers are just the most WTF people you may ever meet. This table usually breaks apart and comes back together every once in a while, as they scatter in their diaspora to one of the 4 other tables, but the time they reassemble is more than enough per year for the craziness that, that table is. They say a picture is worth 1000 words, this table is worth that many in mental diagnoses.
Weirdness level: Failsafe
There you go TL, my take, what is yours. I'd like to hear from some teachers too on this one; so, Micronesia, if you stop by, please verify the truth of what I have seen haha.
