sob story

On January 13 2013 02:31 Torte de Lini wrote:
What do you need editing with specifically?

the whole thing or the spoilers?

On January 13 2013 02:19 HeavOnEarth wrote:
+ Show Spoiler [very* interesting] +

      My first year of university was in 2009. Everything seemed to be going normally, I was 17 and was extremely happy at Texas Tech. Freshman year was a cinch, I so adroitly cruised through my classes that my college appointed counselor suggested I take 18 hours of courses my 2nd semester. I was at the top of my class, I was exactly where I wanted to be.
      As smart as I was, my maturity was lacking. I had the brains, even a certain youthful panache, but not the mental fortitude to back all that up. I did not flunk by any means, I recieved a solid 3.0, but I had to drop a course to keep that grade average. As a result of the rigor of my courses, I stopped going to the gym, going out at all to relax with friends, and only focused on studying to keep a non-lackluster grade average. After losing these activities, I found less than healthy ways to fill the void. Much to my chagrin, the addictions I created in this time only hurt me more.
       I took difficult classes. At the time I was taking calculus III, physics II, chemical processing, organic chemistry I, and labs. I could not keep up with the demands of chemical engineering at Texas tech. I dropped
every class, except calc III, only to just outright fail that course towards the end. All the stress had burned me out, given me insomnia and other health problems. I lost the finesse I had before, but most of all I lost what confidence I had left in my abilities.
      After i took a semester off, I resumed my studies at UH, but not for long. Unfortunately, my attention was held hostage by my decaying family relationships. My sister became suicidal, which put enormous stress on already strained family ties, and was nearly carried off by social services. This was just the beginning of my worries, however, since my mom's mental health continued to decline as she blamed herself for my sister's mental health. I'm always stressed that they may die at any moment, especially because my father cannot hope to douse the burning down of my family's cohesion; he is a disable Vietnam veteran, unable to deal fully with all of these problems. I should back up for a moment, and explain how this situation has come to be.
      Not so long ago, things seemed to be going smoothly. I had a beautiful relationship for 4 years, I had a girl, she was my girl, and I was proud to have her. I am not loathe to admit that I leaned on her during the relationship, and she leaned on me for support too. I ruined the relationship. Quickly, I spiralled into disarray, and shortly afterwards I contracted genital herpes type II. The disease, for me, was a more psychological infection than an incurable STD. I repeatedly got outbreaks, triggered by stress, during tests. I could not hope to focus on any test, material, or matter when all I could feel, think of, and attempt to placate was the seathing pain. I notified my teachers, and though they were somewhat flexible, the stress simply overwhelmed me. I attempted to study, but studying is fruitless when one can't concentrate on anything but their never ending, random skirmishes with pain. Later, I saw an advertisement for Scientology Therapy. At this stage anything that was marked "free!" was something I was willing to try. Often times though, free is too good to be true. Little did i know that the whole program was a consecrated scam. I was conned into thinking negatively about myself, in a sad attempt to show that my iniquities were so great I could only hope for salvation through L. Ron Hubbard.
      I had a very negative mindset in regards to stress, and I realized that this mindset had to change if I wanted to succeed. I have overcome what previously was beating me. I beat my addictions and began focusing on improving my mental and physical health. I removed all escapes from reality, starting pay close to attention to all of my life choices. I started partaking in healthy introspection, and meditated on what I thought was ruining, what otherwise should be, my perfect life. I experienced epiphanies. I realized that any drug or escape-esque activity only represents ephemeral relief, not a solution to a deeper issue. I acknowledged that self-medicating is ineffective at bearing long-term stress relief. My paradigm has changed. Recently, I have put on 10 pounds of muscle and am more confident in my ability to handle stress now than ever before. Keeping a positive mentality gives me constancy, I accept my flaws and strive to mitigate them. I take responsibility, unlike my previous hiding behind my addiction.
      Time heals all. I am 21 now, and am a more mature, more responsible adult. The reason I will not fail this semester is because of I know that I have regained that verve I used to have, that confidence in myself. I have met many people who have dropped out of school, or have fallen to drug addiction or stress. I am unlike them, I am indomitable, undefeated; not only will I succeed next semester, I will continue my studies with a glint in my eye, and a smile on my face. I cannot lose, I can only win.

[center]the rest that I left off[/center
If you could help me in any way, however, I would really appreciate it and I will not let you or myself down!omg so cheesy T_T

gonna leave the part where i became a sc2 progamer out of this LOL

Shortly afterwards i contracted genital herpes type II ( a more psychological disease than just an incurable STD ). I repeatedly got outbreaks(triggered by stress) during tests and quizzes, i could not focus on the material at all.

On January 13 2013 05:31 HeavOnEarth wrote:
err i guess i used the wrong term for that lol, like ppl are depressed from it cuz well its an incurable std , ur options are limited to finding someone with it or someone who loves u enough to not care about it. but man that first outbreak i felt like i was fucking dying , its like the sickest flu where ur brain starts to melt and suddenly you're naked in Alaska laying on pins and needles
but yea ill take that out , thx.

LOL AND LEAGUE FUCK I QUIT S1 WHEN I WAS LIKE TOP 50 ELO ALL THAT MONEY N00000 haha im glad i didnt sell my soul though

@ doc sweet thanks! very eloquent, if you're interested i edited the prompt into the OP, also not convicted felon, its my first offense and i lawyer'd up, pending but doubtful ill even get jail time, if not possibly dismissed. ill be sure to edit that in though lol good point

And yeeah ill def write up a blog of my experiences as a sc2 progamer, sometime.

<3 psy~~