EPTPeople always talk about changing themselves and pushing themselves harder than they've ever done before but usually fall back to their old selves again. I myself was pretty much just someone who procrastinated and did everything as lazily as he could. BUT! for the first time in my life I feel like i'm actually making a change in my life.
I got fed up with myself last year and decided that my life was basically going nowhere so I decided after a year of college to finally commit to a major and work hard at it. I chose computer science. I foolishly picked up 18 credits this quarter/sememster w/e they call them and since then I have been constantly busy and stressed.
My mondays are very easy and I get out of classes at about 11 am. My tuesdays and thursdays are pretty difficult and end around 5 pm (not including studying time, included maybe 8 or 9). And my wednesdays... Begin at 8 am and end at 10 pm. My intro to computer science lab is 3 hours and my school requires a religion credits (being a religious affiliated school) which takes 4 hours. In between I choose to spend that day studying and having almost 0 fun (except for the 1-2 hours of starcraft i sneak in). Fridays have the same schedule as mondays except I suspect they will be test days for those classes.
With this all being said. My life sounds pretty shitty. I've never done this much work in my life and I keep telling my self that anything below a 3.75 is unacceptable. Also I'm looking for a part time job because I kind of need the money right now (gas food and all the other random shit I need to buy). My parents are somewhat more wealthy than most, but since we are wealthy and I did shitty in highschool (3.3 gpa) I got no scholarships and no financial aid. (also they're putting my brother through school too)
Sounds fun right? You're probably thinking, no... that sounds horrible. And when I think about it I feel like I should feel bad. But I've never felt more motivated and alive in my life. I feel like I am actually enjoying being stressed the fuck out all the time. I always have this tired feeling and I catch myself sighing much more than I ever did before. But I feel like I can do everything. I feel like I can get good grades, study my ass off, find a job, work and I just feel like a completely different person overall. I hope this motivation lasts and I hope I don't revert to my old self like I have so many other times I've tried to commit to things in my life.
2013! I can do anything!
if I fail... meh.. next blog
