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Active: 597 users

Don't Worry - an open letter to myself, 5 yrs ago

Blogs > ella_guru
Post a Reply
ella_guru
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada1741 Posts
December 08 2012 02:01 GMT
#1
Here is a letter im addressing to myself for 5 years ago, just before i was entering university.

Hey Justus, it's Justus from 5 years in the future .



Firstly - things do NOT turn out how you thought they were going to. you manage to disappoint basically everyone close to you.

dont worry!

you end up gaining respect in your communities because you acted with certainty, in the face of complete opposition.

you drop out of university after 5 years, in your last semester, literally 4 classes short of a degree.

you are very happy.

you wash dishes and make money on the side off music. you are content with this

you continue to make people around you laugh, but not it isn't out of insecurity.

you start drinking , something you dont do right now.

you engage in the use of psychadelics and this has been some of the most life changing single-event moments we have encountered in our 23 years. we are forever changed by a plant we didnt even know existed at the time of your reading this. you arent scared anymore.

the incredible alienation you will feel around age 20 causes you about 7 months of dont leave the house and unplug the phone type of depression. you fail an entire semester.

you are a resilient fucker though, that feel of complete alienation gets re-interpreted as a feeling of complete belonging. you are a cosmic citizen.

the hardest truth you will learn is this : you cant help them. they have to do it for themselves.

we still hate the idea of marriage

we finally bought some handcuffs for sex play and are getting into more kink.

you now realize that you were never the weird one, just the most open about being normal

we dont really care what happens next anymore, we dont look up to people with "good jobs" and dont look down on those who have less.

youll have to sell a lot of the things you liked to pay rent..

eventually you run out of those things and lose your job, you go on welfare for a couple of months. its fun and basically a party for 2 months and you feel no guilt or shame.

we still wear clothes that make us look ridiculous, it still disarms people and they never know what to think.

we still find beauty in all that is.

we know that Justus at 28 will think this is all pretty silly, as it will make sense to him how he ended up where he is, but right now, none of that knows where that will be.


+ Show Spoiler +

(oh, and chlamydia wasnt that bad, dont worry when you get the results. oh and skip Sarah, she was a total starfish in bed and only sucked the tip hahaha)



Dont worry.




***
Each day gets better : )
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-08 02:33:59
December 08 2012 02:31 GMT
#2
Not gonna lie, I lolled at the starfish bit.

EDIT: wait... just re-read that, what happened with chlamydia???
User was warned for too many mimes.
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-08 02:47:40
December 08 2012 02:37 GMT
#3
Damn, I was hoping this would be something you wrote 5 years ago that you were reading now. You've got this whole time capsule thing backwards, man!

I am 23 now too, and shit, thinking back to 5 years ago... I changed so much and so little at the same time. Life's running away from me right now. If I could write a message to myself back then... I don't even know. "You won the golden mouse and wrote some stuff. There were lots of disappointments. Try not to fall in love so easily ;p"

+ Show Spoiler +
BROOD WAR YOU BROKE MY HEART
+ Show Spoiler +
jk
+ Show Spoiler +
but not really
+ Show Spoiler +
Also Savior. Also Bisu.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
ella_guru
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada1741 Posts
December 08 2012 02:48 GMT
#4
i agree with "so much so little"...

it feels like we change how a cloud does. i'll let your imagination finish that metaphor.

(@chef - i actually forgot about the golden mouse, wow. does it still exist?)
Each day gets better : )
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-08 02:58:58
December 08 2012 02:52 GMT
#5
Damn, I guess I didn't tell you. I had that thing even earlier this year, but shortly after we knew it was the last OSL, that thing fell on my head (it was just sitting on this shelf above my desk which is in what would be a closet ;p) and shattered into a billion pieces and cut up my hand. IT'S LIKE IT KNEW.

[image loading]

I was finding bits of it months later that had scattered to random places in the room ;p I had always kept it thinking maybe there would be another LAN and someone to inherit it lol.

(in case you are wondering no I did not keep the bag and it's remains lol....)
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
reikai
Profile Joined January 2011
United States359 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-08 06:25:55
December 08 2012 06:25 GMT
#6
On December 08 2012 11:52 Chef wrote:
Damn, I guess I didn't tell you. I had that thing even earlier this year, but shortly after we knew it was the last OSL, that thing fell on my head (it was just sitting on this shelf above my desk which is in what would be a closet ;p) and shattered into a billion pieces and cut up my hand. IT'S LIKE IT KNEW.

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


I was finding bits of it months later that had scattered to random places in the room ;p I had always kept it thinking maybe there would be another LAN and someone to inherit it lol.

(in case you are wondering no I did not keep the bag and it's remains lol....)


What am I looking at? A lamp??
Et Ducit Mundum Per Luce. :T:
jdseemoreglass
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States3773 Posts
December 08 2012 07:57 GMT
#7
Dear self from 5 years ago,

You are going to die in 5 years. Better make them good.
"If you want this forum to be full of half-baked philosophy discussions between pompous faggots like yourself forever, stay the course captain vanilla" - FakeSteve[TPR], 2006
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
December 08 2012 08:10 GMT
#8
don't do it jd i'd miss you
shikata ga nai
Froadac
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States6733 Posts
December 08 2012 09:19 GMT
#9
Wow. What was dropped chef.
ella_guru
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada1741 Posts
December 08 2012 12:06 GMT
#10
On December 08 2012 18:19 Froadac wrote:
Wow. What was dropped chef.


the golden mouse
Each day gets better : )
FractalsOnFire
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1756 Posts
December 08 2012 16:18 GMT
#11
On December 08 2012 11:01 ella_guru wrote:

the hardest truth you will learn is this : you cant help them. they have to do it for themselves.


+ Show Spoiler +

(oh, and chlamydia wasnt that bad, dont worry when you get the results. oh and skip Sarah, she was a total starfish in bed and only sucked the tip hahaha)





That truth and the spoiler were the best bits.
radscorpion9
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Canada2252 Posts
December 08 2012 17:22 GMT
#12
At least I feel a little better about my life lol. Keep on truckin'
ThomasjServo
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
15244 Posts
December 08 2012 18:24 GMT
#13
On December 08 2012 11:37 Chef wrote:
Damn, I was hoping this would be something you wrote 5 years ago that you were reading now. You've got this whole time capsule thing backwards, man!

I am 23 now too, and shit, thinking back to 5 years ago... I changed so much and so little at the same time. Life's running away from me right now. If I could write a message to myself back then... I don't even know. "You won the golden mouse and wrote some stuff. There were lots of disappointments. Try not to fall in love so easily ;p"

+ Show Spoiler +
BROOD WAR YOU BROKE MY HEART
+ Show Spoiler +
jk
+ Show Spoiler +
but not really
+ Show Spoiler +
Also Savior. Also Bisu.


I too am 23 and about all I have come to conclude about life is that it is a series of points where you look back and say, "God I was an idiot." I don't feel it is a regretful thing in the least, but if some of the changes I have seen in myself are any indicator I legitimately wonder what I'll think down the line.
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