EPTStop, it hurts
Recently, I went to model UN, while there several things happened. I had a terrible time trying to reconcile the friendship between a girl who is my friend, and my girlfriend. i'll write a blog later about the other things I presented in the preface. This blog is solely about reconciling with the friend.
Reconcilliation, Stop, It Hurts
I'm going to start with the reconcilliation in simple terms, and all the troubles that came from it. I can't tell you how angry I was at myself for this. A while ago, when my girlfriend took a break from me, for 10 hours, I had a friend ask her how she was doing for me. That conversation escalated much farther than I had expected, unfortunately. I was not prepared for the social cataclysmic event that ensued with this friend and my girlfriend who had previously liked each other, exchanging unpleasantries. This culminated in the friend spreading around that she thought my girlfriend was a slut, and my girlfriend spreading that the friend was just a delusional druggie. Neither of these are true, but of course when people are angry they say what they know will be the most hurtful. This poisonous situation continued for a little bit, I'd say a month or two. This culminated this last weekend.
![[image loading]](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iNg1EdzUYOc/UC7CTexMfJI/AAAAAAAAAVo/hySfcfaS8G8/s1600/mckayla-maroney-meme-500x336.jpg)
My face throughout that ordeal, cuz I felt like I caused it
The friend went out to smoke some weed with a guy that hates me, compromising my friendship, and further making my girlfriend angrier at the friend. This friend told me about the weed, how good it was, how high she was, how much fun she had, and I can't help but admit that I was seathing. Not only had this person compromised the friendship by smoking with someone who hates me, I was hoping, that since the friend and my girlfriend did not get along, that this friend would excersize some self-control with regards to drugs; the reason I was hoping for this self control is because it would show that drugs are not this friends go-to fun time. Needless to say that I was disappointed. The culmination I stated earlier occured on the second night of the convetion. Its hard to explain how angry I was, just let it be known that the seathing I did earlier was nothing compared to this, and normally I'm a very mellow guy. The quick run-down of the event goes like this.
- The cheer-captain of the school asks my girlfriend to come over and show some cheers that the cheer team learned, this area has: 1 guy that hates me (stoned), 1 cheer captain (not stoned), 1 friend of the guy that hates me (stoned), 1 guy who the cheer captain is madly in love with but has an off and off thing with (not stoned), 1 girl I know from my school (stoned), a couple other randoms (stoned), and the friend mentioned previously (stoned)
- My girlfriend does the cheer, well for a couple seconds at least, while the guy that hates me harrasses me
- I don't get provoked, I do the normal nice guy routine that makes it hard for other people to be mean. My girlfriend is getting angrier and angrier. My friend not only doesn't protect or fight back for me, but says nothing.
- My girlfriend takes me away outside, and kisses me, wanting me to kiss her back.
- I pull back, I know something is wrong, and I don't want us to get into trouble for being outside the area, so we sit down on a nearby bench
- My girlfriend does not seem ok at all, so I ask her and she tells me half the story, the whole of which will be fully elaborated later. (One should note here that this revelation not only made me nearly come to tears, but also made the rest of the night even more painful)
![[image loading]](http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/thefw.com/files/2012/03/4373613_700b-500x441.jpg)
If the guy that hates me were white, he would look like this 90% of the time
I was angry at the cheer captain, who is a friend of mine. I thought she was high also at that point, and found out that she was in fact not. The rest of that tale will be saved for a later blog. One thing before I get off the subject is that this point was very important since the cheer captain and my friend were in the same place, it made me very suspicious of the cheer captain and her actions later. This erupted with me making the cheer captain cry later than night and apolotizing profusely about it, while she apologized to me and explained why everything had happened the way it did. As it turns out the cheer captain didn't know most of the people there and was not happy that my friend was doing drugs with the guy that hates me, furthermore, the cheer captain was only there to protect a guy who she is madly in love with from the guy that hates me's peer pressure. Basically the cheer captain was being a good person and I royally fucked up.
![[image loading]](http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/abb/689/cb2/resized/jesus-says-meme-generator-jesus-says-stop-being-a-douchebag-you-douchebag-3bca6c.jpg)
Yep, and I'm ain't even Christian
So with all this said, the issues with the friend end with me having a talk with this friend.Take note that I talked to this friend the next day, so everything is still pretty raw. I explain that I am not only angry that this person did not defend me from the guy that hates me, that smoked with my friend. I further explain that I didn't really think it was ok to smoke with a person that hates me. My friend responded with excuses about not remembering that the guy hates me, about how the guy said he was just fucking with me + Show Spoiler +
spoiler alert he was not
![[image loading]](http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/3471679_700b.jpg)
What she had basically told me
This got worse, in fact I don't think at this point it could have gotten worse had my life been a fictitious book, but being real life, shit got even more real.The friend followed me and brought the guy that hates me over to where I was. As I talked to my girlfriend, my friend sat literally 4 feet to my right talking to some friends. At this point, my friend was flashing a short skirt with leggings laying on the ground, facing the opposite direction of the guy I hate. Now, most people at this point would get pissed off, probably get really angry that a friend could not even apologize about doing something that was obviously hurtful; I am not one of those people. I was really sad, I had lost a friend. Much more than that, I had lost this friend to a racist fuck who doesn't even deserve the the small amount he hasn't thrown away from what he was given. I felt like, for some stupid reason in my head, that I had to apologize. I felt that maybe I was too forward, or maybe i was just stupid. It had to have been my fault, in some way I had to have fucked it up.
![[image loading]](http://www.idolol.com/pictures/8ff05dcf1560740b28f49573a0389d8f.jpg)
Friends don't let friends... aw fuck it who even has friends
Just as I was leaving the convention, I saw the friend but neglected to say goodbye. I was too busy being disappointed, angry at myself, and plagued by other drama. Such is highschool. As I was on the bus, returning home from the convention, I felt ok; for some reason I guess I realized that maybe this was for the best. Maybe this friend was not worth it, all the issues my girlfriend had with the friend previously. Life, of course, is not that simple. Out of nowhere I get a call from the friend. The call says everything I had hoped for, the friend was sorry, the friend told off the guy that hates me, the friend said the guy was a creep, and most importantly the friend said that she understood why I had been angry. After this, my girlfriend apologized to my friend and my friend apologized back. After all the drama, it feels like my life is back on the upswing. Finally, for the first time in a long time, I can say that I really felt happy about where my life was going; Atlas holds me up, harmony keeps me there.
I have a couple more blogs to churn out from this weekend, but this is the first one, and also the least contrversial I guess I could say. I hope you enjoyed this, I'm trying to space the blogs out more, and make them easier to read (i.e. less crazy syntax stuff). There will be 2 more blogs about this weekend on the coming days.
, I'm sorry if this stuff is kind of stupid to those older than me, I can't really help how my life turns out sometimes 
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