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Does anyone else feel indifferent towards family?

Blogs > Xanbatou
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
Xanbatou
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States805 Posts
November 05 2012 20:30 GMT
#1
In general, people seem to have a pretty close relationship with family. My girlfriend, and several other people I know, are always going home to see family, or calling them on the phone, or other such things.

For whatever reason, I don't seem to value family that much. They are just like ordinary people to me that I don't value that much more than my friends. My parents are the exception, since I am indebted to them for raising me, but other than that, I don't really feel differently towards my family members.

Does anyone else feel this way?

**
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
November 05 2012 20:31 GMT
#2
Yes, you aren't alone and some people don't even value their parents to the extent of implicit understanding and gratitude for taking care of them.
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
Xanbatou
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States805 Posts
November 05 2012 20:35 GMT
#3
On November 06 2012 05:31 Torte de Lini wrote:
Yes, you aren't alone and some people don't even value their parents to the extent of implicit understanding and gratitude for taking care of them.


So what's the difference? Why do some people value family so much? Moreover, is it wrong not to value family that much? Whenever people find out how indifferent I am towards my family, they seem to think it's odd and that I am less of a person for it.
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-11-05 20:39:26
November 05 2012 20:39 GMT
#4
People have different values and different experiences with their parents and family. It's not wrong to have different values and it is generally important to maintain a relationship with said family (no matter how remote it is).

Family is an old traditional value and priority for people since the ages. Like many traditions, if you're not similar to those who follow it, you're not the same and thus why they may find you so odd (or different).
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
tMomiji
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States1115 Posts
November 05 2012 20:42 GMT
#5
Me.

Probably because I'm adopted and a lot of my family is adopted as well. Family is something that changes a lot for me and can change at any time.
"I wonder if there is a league below copper? If so, I would like to inhabit it." -TotalBiscuit "In the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, ROOF FLIES OFF!" -George Carlin <3 HerO <3 Kiwikaki <3 MKP
Cyber_Cheese
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Australia3615 Posts
November 05 2012 20:54 GMT
#6
I don't really value my family all that much, they just kinda bore me..
I know I should feel bad about it, but I don't
The moment you lose confidence in yourself, is the moment the world loses it's confidence in you.
Sabu113
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States11047 Posts
November 05 2012 20:55 GMT
#7
I think people end up feeling closer to people they are more emotionally open with. Generally that tends to be family as lax self-standards as child with regards to sharing personal feelings tend to continue as a habit into adult hood.

At least that's my take on it at the moment. Feel kinda the same way.
Biomine is a drunken chick who is on industrial strength amphetamines and would just grab your dick and jerk it as hard and violently as she could while screaming 'OMG FUCK ME', because she saw it in a Sasha Grey video ...-Wombat_Ni
GnarlyArbitrage
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
575 Posts
November 05 2012 21:04 GMT
#8
They say that blood is thicker than water. However, one can always take blood thinners!
Treehead
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
999 Posts
November 05 2012 21:20 GMT
#9
Age plays a big factor here.

Most kids and young adults take their parents for granted because they've never known a world where you go through life day in and day out without another person in your corner. Some kids are even disconnected enough with reality to take on the mentality that their parents really aren't in their corner (and in a very small number of cases, that may be true).

This is actually completely normal until you've been out of the house for an extended period of time (for me it was about 7 years, or 3 years + college - for most I'd guess it might be something like 10 years). My point is this: if you don't feel motivated to nurture a relationship with the few people in the world who have a pre-existing interest in your well-being: don't worry about it. That's normal. Give it time. Just don't burn any bridges. Contemporary living without family can be quite lonely (don't kid yourself, no one likes isolation) - and you might find that it wasn't something different about you that made you unable to appreciate your relationship with family. You might just not be ready.
Fueled
Profile Joined October 2011
United States1610 Posts
November 05 2012 21:39 GMT
#10
I think it all depends on what you grew up around. I grew up around a lot of my moms side of the family, and today I'm still very close with that side of the family. My dads side however, I didn't really see much of them. Aside from my grandparents and uncle on that side, I've only seen and talked to those family members a handful of times, and when I see them today I feel uncomfortable around them. Almost like what you said, I just consider them ordinary people.

So my take at this is its what you grew up with and are now comfortable around years later.
The Wood League - Where a double gas opening can still mean a Marine/SCV all-in
Klonere
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Ireland4123 Posts
November 05 2012 21:44 GMT
#11
If it were not for my family I would have not had a chance to pursue my dreams. When that dream collapsed in front of me, my family played a huge part in me not just ending my life.

I love my family. I do understand when people are more distant towards them though, its just something that differs from family to family and dependent on a huge variety of reasons.
Snuggles
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States1865 Posts
November 05 2012 22:05 GMT
#12
My relationship with my parents is in shambles... It all started with me working for my parents at the age of 10 I think. It was always about discipline, my father would lay out the law of the house and I was not to oppose him if he were to make a final decision on something even if he did not have the reasoning to back it up. Although I understood the hardships that parents went through, and had no problem working hard for them as I became accustomed to it, I still feel that my childhood was robbed from me because of my parents. It's not that I did not have time or the money to go have fun, I simply was not allowed to.

Even now that I'm an adult, when I look back I can say yeah, the discipline that my father put on to me paid off. I was more able to work, I knew how to fix things, work tools that many other people my age would not be able to do. But I feel like it came at a price, I am still grateful for them for taking care of me, but when I saw other kids around my age having so much freedom I couldn't but ask why. And when time and money were not the culprits it only frustrated me and caused me to distance myself away from them. I don't know who's fault it is in my relationship, part of me wants to blame them but I'm sure that its the both of us.
RoyGBiv_13
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1275 Posts
November 05 2012 22:34 GMT
#13
On November 06 2012 07:05 Snuggles wrote:
My relationship with my parents is in shambles... It all started with me working for my parents at the age of 10 I think. It was always about discipline, my father would lay out the law of the house and I was not to oppose him if he were to make a final decision on something even if he did not have the reasoning to back it up. Although I understood the hardships that parents went through, and had no problem working hard for them as I became accustomed to it, I still feel that my childhood was robbed from me because of my parents. It's not that I did not have time or the money to go have fun, I simply was not allowed to.

Even now that I'm an adult, when I look back I can say yeah, the discipline that my father put on to me paid off. I was more able to work, I knew how to fix things, work tools that many other people my age would not be able to do. But I feel like it came at a price, I am still grateful for them for taking care of me, but when I saw other kids around my age having so much freedom I couldn't but ask why. And when time and money were not the culprits it only frustrated me and caused me to distance myself away from them. I don't know who's fault it is in my relationship, part of me wants to blame them but I'm sure that its the both of us.


Sounds oddly familiar...

Before I left for college, I made it very clear to my parents what I thought of them treating me like a workhorse every weekend from 8-18. I try not to hold it against them, but I know what effect it had on my social life, and I think they know as well.

Because day times were not spent trying to win friends, my socializing had to happen at night when everyone else was already done for the day. It happened online, brood war from 10pm - 4am or whenever they would wake up and kick me and my brother off of the computer.

I do maintain a healthy relationship with them still, and I understand that what they did, they did for me, but it still sucks. Now I'll just make certain the same thing doesn't happen to my own children.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic
AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
November 05 2012 22:43 GMT
#14
Not that weird. I'm kinda like that as well.
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
Kaeru
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Sweden552 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-11-05 22:52:27
November 05 2012 22:48 GMT
#15
--- Nuked ---
anatase
Profile Joined May 2010
France532 Posts
November 05 2012 23:11 GMT
#16
I would say i love my family. I know i am indebt toward my parents for taking care of me and allowing me to study what I wanted more or less where I wanted, despite being the third and list children.

But I am not that kind of people that is going to call them very often or so when away. They usually send me an email to let me know they want some news.

I actually do this to everyone I care about. It could look like i don't care about them because i don't go and get news by myself, I actually care about them and have many friends, they think i am generous and caring overall, but they also know that if they want news or want to speak to me, they have to move.

I am just, i don't know, being a natural soloist I would say. And i live damn fine like this



N.geNuity
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States5112 Posts
November 05 2012 23:26 GMT
#17
My brother is my friend and I have a good relationship with my parents. Mostly because my parents are a lot like me and my brother and I are very close personality wise.

If my brother wasn't similar to me I probably wouldn't really care that much, but we did tons of stuff together as kids and we hold similar interests now. We're friends and he's just a funny person to me.

what do you mean by family though? nuclear family? Because I don't really care about my extended family at all/my family doesn't really keep up past the individual's nuclear family (my mother will talk to her brothers i.e my uncles, but I don't really). For instance my cousin is 1 year younger than me but I've basically never talked to him, while I know a ton of people who are friends with their cousins of similar age.

so yeah I feel similar to you OP but my parents are good and my brother is my friend. If he wasn't, I wouldn't really care.
iu, seungah, yura, taeyeon, hyosung, lizzy, suji, sojin, jia, ji eun, eunji, soya, younha, jiyeon, fiestar, sinb, jung myung hoon godtier. BW FOREVERR
MountainDewJunkie
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States10341 Posts
November 05 2012 23:37 GMT
#18
I have three brothers, who are really close with each other and my parents. But sharing the same political and religious beliefs will probably do that, in comparison, to say, me. I'm not terribly close with the brothers as a result, but I am very close with my parents (interesting because I gave them the most "trouble" growing up by about several miles).

And that's my fucking brothers. I have zero caring for cousins, aunts, uncles, and whatevers.

Being biologically related is interesting, but when interests are incompatible or there's just straight up not any meaningful connection or memories, family can be like a group of acquaintances.
[21:07] <Shock710> whats wrong with her face [20:50] <dAPhREAk> i beat it the day after it came out | <BLinD-RawR> esports is a giant vagina
Enki
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
United States2548 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-11-05 23:50:32
November 05 2012 23:50 GMT
#19
I kinda feel the same right now. Besides my parents and my sister, I practically never see any of my other family because they live too far away. We have a lot of family in N.C but its a decent drive to get there so I pretty much never see my grandparents, or my cousins/aunts/uncles that live there. I feel a bit detached from them nowadays.
"Practice, practice, practice. And when you're not practicing you should be practicing. It's the only way to get better. The only way." I run the Smix Fanclub!
Demonhunter04
Profile Joined July 2011
1530 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-11-14 07:33:34
November 06 2012 01:33 GMT
#20
On November 06 2012 07:48 Kaeru wrote:
(I'm not including psycho parents that kill their children and rape them)


I thought we took it for granted that it's hard to love someone who's killed us...?
"If you don't drop sweat today, you will drop tears tomorrow" - SlayerSMMA
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