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I Forgot How To Live

Blogs > EffervescentAureola
Post a Reply
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
October 04 2012 00:49 GMT
#1
I forgot how to be someone I want,
and so I became someone I never wanted to be.

My mind was never clear,
always clouded by a thousand different elements,
a thousand different distractions.

I lost sight of the light
at the end of the tunnel,
and I lost sight of my soul.

I once had a dream,
but I decided to somehow turn it into a nightmare,
my life could have been easy and simple,
but not simple to the point that I would die of boredom,
but smooth enough that I could challenge myself everyday.

I could have lived life with a clear vision,
I could have lived out my dream,
Smiling, laughing, being the best person
with the strongest moral character,
that I could possibly have.

But instead I decided to pretend I hated life,
pretend that I wanted my life to end.

I chose to drag out my days,
with a big frown on my face and sunken eyes,
instead of truly enjoying my life.

I forgot how to love,
Because I only taught myself how to cheat.

I forgot how to live,
I forgot how to live my life from the inside,
Instead of being an observer
and watching myself from the outside.

**
evaunit01
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States512 Posts
October 04 2012 01:28 GMT
#2
Well written, hits home a bit...
Gamertag: William T. Riker - My life for Aiur!
TerranosaurusWrecks
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Canada187 Posts
October 04 2012 01:46 GMT
#3
"Because I only taught myself how to cheat"

that's a really good line
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ "Like you can train a n00b, but they will just be a trained n00b."
TheEmulator
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
28087 Posts
October 04 2012 01:50 GMT
#4
This is good

Reminds me of my life in a few ways.
Administrator
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
October 04 2012 03:11 GMT
#5
Thanks everyone, this wasn't meant to be a great poem or anything like that, I just had to get some personal stuff off my shoulders. I don't want to be a robot, I'm tired of living this lie, I'm tired of trying, I've faced failure before, but after failing I have just lost my nerve and enthusiasm and threw my willpower out the window. I've let my failures dictate who I became as a person rather than taking command of my own life and not giving a #%^€, I've let people steal my dignity and I got depressed instead of fighting back. My problem is I was too sensitive. If I had just put up a barrier and did what I thought was right I could have gotten through this.
Jesse3
Profile Joined March 2020
1 Post
March 19 2020 01:13 GMT
#6
Hello how are you my name is Jesse. And this is exactly how i feel i wanted to see what did you start to do to overcome these over bearable feelings and thoughts im going insane feeling this way
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