• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 21:37
CEST 03:37
KST 10:37
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Code S Season 2 (2026): RO4 and Finals Preview12TL.net Map Contest #22 - Voting & Ladder Map Selection6Code S Season 2 (2026) - RO8 Preview5[ASL21] Finals Preview: Two Legacies21Code S Season 2 (2026) - RO12 Preview2
Community News
[BSL22] Non-Korean Championship from 13 to 28 June2Weekly Cups (May 25-31): Clem doubles, 2v2 circuit heads toward finale0StarCraft II 5.0.16 PTR Patch Notes may 26th151Weekly Cups (May 18-24): MaxPax wins doubles0Crank Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League6
StarCraft 2
General
TL.net Map Contest #22 - Voting & Ladder Map Selection Code S Season 2 (2026): RO4 and Finals Preview TL Poll: How do you feel about the 5.0.16 PTR balance changes? What kind of tool would you be interested in? Oliveira Would Have Returned If EWC Continued
Tourneys
Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament GSL Code S Season 2 (2026) WardiTV Mondays Maestros of The Game 2 announcement and schedule ! Crank Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League
Strategy
[G] Having the right mentality to improve
Custom Maps
[D]RTS in all its shapes and glory <3
External Content
The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 529 Opportunities Unleashed Mutation # 528 Infection Detected Welcome to the External Content forum
Brood War
General
BW animated web series: seeking contributors 25 Years Since Brood War Patch 1.08 FlaSh's ASL S21 Finals Review BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ [BSL22] Non-Korean Championship from 13 to 28 June
Tourneys
[BSL22] Grand Finals - Sunday 21:00 CEST [ASL21] Grand Finals [Megathread] Daily Proleagues Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 2
Strategy
Why doesn't anyone use restoration? Any training maps people recommend? Muta micro map competition [G] Hydra ZvZ: An Introduction
Other Games
General Games
ZeroSpace Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread PC Games Sales Thread Summer Games Done Quick 2026! The Perfect Game
Dota 2
Looking for a Dota Mentor Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Trading/Investing Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine YouTube Thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread
Fan Clubs
The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
[Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books [TV/BOOK] *SPOILERS* Game of Thrones Discussion Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread McBoner: A hockey love story Formula 1 Discussion TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread Facing Challenges in Mobile App Development
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
An Exploration of th…
waywardstrategy
I'm an arrogant trash talke…
FlaShFTW
Gauntlet SC2: A Retrospectiv…
Ctone23
Esportsmanship: How to NOT B…
TrAiDoS
Why RTS gamers make better f…
gosubay
ASL S21 English Commentary…
namkraft
StarCraft improvement
iopq
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 5335 users

I Forgot How To Live

Blogs > EffervescentAureola
Post a Reply
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
October 04 2012 00:49 GMT
#1
I forgot how to be someone I want,
and so I became someone I never wanted to be.

My mind was never clear,
always clouded by a thousand different elements,
a thousand different distractions.

I lost sight of the light
at the end of the tunnel,
and I lost sight of my soul.

I once had a dream,
but I decided to somehow turn it into a nightmare,
my life could have been easy and simple,
but not simple to the point that I would die of boredom,
but smooth enough that I could challenge myself everyday.

I could have lived life with a clear vision,
I could have lived out my dream,
Smiling, laughing, being the best person
with the strongest moral character,
that I could possibly have.

But instead I decided to pretend I hated life,
pretend that I wanted my life to end.

I chose to drag out my days,
with a big frown on my face and sunken eyes,
instead of truly enjoying my life.

I forgot how to love,
Because I only taught myself how to cheat.

I forgot how to live,
I forgot how to live my life from the inside,
Instead of being an observer
and watching myself from the outside.

**
evaunit01
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States512 Posts
October 04 2012 01:28 GMT
#2
Well written, hits home a bit...
Gamertag: William T. Riker - My life for Aiur!
TerranosaurusWrecks
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Canada187 Posts
October 04 2012 01:46 GMT
#3
"Because I only taught myself how to cheat"

that's a really good line
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ "Like you can train a n00b, but they will just be a trained n00b."
TheEmulator
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
28100 Posts
October 04 2012 01:50 GMT
#4
This is good

Reminds me of my life in a few ways.
Administrator
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
October 04 2012 03:11 GMT
#5
Thanks everyone, this wasn't meant to be a great poem or anything like that, I just had to get some personal stuff off my shoulders. I don't want to be a robot, I'm tired of living this lie, I'm tired of trying, I've faced failure before, but after failing I have just lost my nerve and enthusiasm and threw my willpower out the window. I've let my failures dictate who I became as a person rather than taking command of my own life and not giving a #%^€, I've let people steal my dignity and I got depressed instead of fighting back. My problem is I was too sensitive. If I had just put up a barrier and did what I thought was right I could have gotten through this.
Jesse3
Profile Joined March 2020
1 Post
March 19 2020 01:13 GMT
#6
Hello how are you my name is Jesse. And this is exactly how i feel i wanted to see what did you start to do to overcome these over bearable feelings and thoughts im going insane feeling this way
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
PiGosaur Cup
00:00
#85 (PTR Edition)
PiGStarcraft652
CranKy Ducklings64
davetesta28
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
PiGStarcraft652
ProTech85
Nina 48
Temp0 29
StarCraft: Brood War
GuemChi 4094
Rain 3250
Artosis 563
Noble 23
NaDa 18
Nal_rA 6
Dota 2
monkeys_forever429
capcasts98
NeuroSwarm91
Counter-Strike
taco 193
Super Smash Bros
hungrybox680
Mew2King91
Other Games
summit1g12960
Day[9].tv1543
shahzam570
C9.Mang0568
ViBE121
Maynarde119
UpATreeSC41
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick932
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
[ Show 14 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• CranKy Ducklings SOOP12
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• masondota21172
League of Legends
• Stunt223
Other Games
• Day9tv1543
Upcoming Events
Replay Cast
7h 23m
Kung Fu Cup
9h 23m
Maestros of the Game
13h 23m
Classic vs Lambo
Clem vs Maru
Replay Cast
22h 23m
The PondCast
1d 8h
Maestros of the Game
1d 13h
Serral vs Rogue
herO vs SHIN
OSC
1d 20h
Replay Cast
1d 22h
Maestros of the Game
2 days
Replay Cast
2 days
[ Show More ]
CranKy Ducklings
3 days
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
3 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
4 days
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
4 days
OSC
4 days
Wardi Open
5 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

BSL Season 22
2026 GSL S2
Heroes Pulsing #1

Ongoing

IPSL Spring 2026
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 2
Acropolis #4
CSCL: Masked Kings S4
YSL S3
Acropolis #4 - GSB
SCTL 2026 Spring
WardiTV Spring 2026
Maestros of the Game 2
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Murky Cup 2026
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026

Upcoming

BSL 22 Non-Korean Championship
CSLAN 4
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
CranK Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League
HSC XXIX
Douyu Cup 2026
Heroes Pulsing #3
Heroes Pulsing #2
Esports World Cup 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.