• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 17:16
CEST 23:16
KST 06:16
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL22] Ro8 Preview: Within Reach0[ASL22] Ro8 Preview: In A Tizzy11[ASL22] Ro16 Preview: Holy Diver5[ASL22] Ro16 Preview: Rough Waters10[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Siren's Call8
Community News
Weekly Cups (Sep 13-20): herO scores triple3BSL Season 2313Weekly Cups (Sep 7-12): SHIN, ByuN, MaxPax double down1StarCraft open world shooter announced at BlizzCon101Weekly Cups (Aug 30-Sep 7): herO thrives amid growing schism10
StarCraft 2
General
Weekly Cups (Sep 13-20): herO scores triple How do you feel about the StarCraft shooter announcement at BlizzCon 2026? Balance hotfix patch 5.0.16b (July 16) Blizzard Classic Cup @ BlizzCon 2026 - $100k prize pool The Death of Cheese: From a Professional Cheeser
Tourneys
2026 GSTL Grand Finals ScienceCraft (October 24-25) - Live Event Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament Master Swan Open (Global Bronze-Master 2) Stellar Fest TWO the Moon (Dec 16-20)
Strategy
[H] ZvP Mid-Late Game: Stalkers Collossi HT
Custom Maps
[M] (2) Sweltering Sands [M] (2) Frigid Storage
External Content
The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 545 And Drops and Rifts Mutation # 544 Double Trouble Mutation # 543 Enhanced Defenses
Brood War
General
Bot on ladder BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ an AI researcher's take on the ladder bot [ASL22] Ro8 Preview: Within Reach StarCraft Human 'N' AI League
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [ASL22] Ro8 Day 2 [ASL22] Ro8 Day 1 [IPSL] IPSL is Back With Winter 26-27!
Strategy
Cliff Jump Revisited (1 in a 1000 strategy) Replay Review Process - What do you do? Simple Questions, Simple Answers Odyssey Mineral Stack Saturation
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Total Annihilation Zero Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne Nintendo Switch Thread EVE Corporation
Dota 2
Dota 2 Champions League Season 3 Begins April 25! Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
[TL LoL EUW IHs] Teemo shall perish
Heroes of the Storm
Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Artificial Intelligence Thread All you football fans (soccer)!
Fan Clubs
MarineLorD Fan Club The Creator Fan Club The ShoWTimE Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece Diablo Animated Series on Netflix
Sports
Football (Soccer) Thread
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
Recent Gifted Posts
Blogs
Violent-Cooperative Play and…
TrAiDoS
38 yo Retired SWE loo…
PurE)Rabbit-SF
Can Bots Beat Pros?? Starcr…
namkraft
[meme] I finally understa…
LUCKY_NOOB
Regacy Esports:Our Goa…
regacyesports
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 9081 users

I Forgot How To Live

Blogs > EffervescentAureola
Post a Reply
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
October 04 2012 00:49 GMT
#1
I forgot how to be someone I want,
and so I became someone I never wanted to be.

My mind was never clear,
always clouded by a thousand different elements,
a thousand different distractions.

I lost sight of the light
at the end of the tunnel,
and I lost sight of my soul.

I once had a dream,
but I decided to somehow turn it into a nightmare,
my life could have been easy and simple,
but not simple to the point that I would die of boredom,
but smooth enough that I could challenge myself everyday.

I could have lived life with a clear vision,
I could have lived out my dream,
Smiling, laughing, being the best person
with the strongest moral character,
that I could possibly have.

But instead I decided to pretend I hated life,
pretend that I wanted my life to end.

I chose to drag out my days,
with a big frown on my face and sunken eyes,
instead of truly enjoying my life.

I forgot how to love,
Because I only taught myself how to cheat.

I forgot how to live,
I forgot how to live my life from the inside,
Instead of being an observer
and watching myself from the outside.

**
evaunit01
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States512 Posts
October 04 2012 01:28 GMT
#2
Well written, hits home a bit...
Gamertag: William T. Riker - My life for Aiur!
TerranosaurusWrecks
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Canada187 Posts
October 04 2012 01:46 GMT
#3
"Because I only taught myself how to cheat"

that's a really good line
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ "Like you can train a n00b, but they will just be a trained n00b."
TheEmulator
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
28103 Posts
October 04 2012 01:50 GMT
#4
This is good

Reminds me of my life in a few ways.
Administrator
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
October 04 2012 03:11 GMT
#5
Thanks everyone, this wasn't meant to be a great poem or anything like that, I just had to get some personal stuff off my shoulders. I don't want to be a robot, I'm tired of living this lie, I'm tired of trying, I've faced failure before, but after failing I have just lost my nerve and enthusiasm and threw my willpower out the window. I've let my failures dictate who I became as a person rather than taking command of my own life and not giving a #%^€, I've let people steal my dignity and I got depressed instead of fighting back. My problem is I was too sensitive. If I had just put up a barrier and did what I thought was right I could have gotten through this.
Jesse3
Profile Joined March 2020
1 Post
March 19 2020 01:13 GMT
#6
Hello how are you my name is Jesse. And this is exactly how i feel i wanted to see what did you start to do to overcome these over bearable feelings and thoughts im going insane feeling this way
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
BSL Open Qualifier
19:00
Jungsu & Hasu #1
LiquipediaDiscussion
BSL Open Qualifier
19:00
PRO & GOSU #1
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 16026
Artosis 896
Shuttle 770
ZZZero.O 139
White-Ra 134
firebathero 103
League of Legends
Doublelift3457
JimRising 405
Counter-Strike
fl0m5278
apEX1926
Super Smash Bros
hungrybox382
Mew2King64
Heroes of the Storm
Liquid`Hasu561
Other Games
Liquid`RaSZi2594
Grubby2120
B2W.Neo831
ToD239
KnowMe189
ArmadaUGS181
IndyStarCraft 137
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick1066
StarCraft: Brood War
Kim Chul Min (afreeca) 8
lovetv 3
[ Show 15 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• StrangeGG 72
• Adnapsc2 19
• musti20045 14
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• Azhi_Dahaki19
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• C_a_k_e 6494
• WagamamaTV768
Other Games
• Shiphtur188
Upcoming Events
OSC
1h 44m
Replay Cast
2h 44m
Afreeca Starleague
12h 44m
Soma vs Jaedong
WardiTV Weekly
13h 44m
Monday Night Weeklies
18h 44m
Sparkling Tuna Cup
1d 12h
Afreeca Starleague
1d 12h
Leta vs Soulkey
PiGosaur Cup
2 days
Kung Fu Cup
2 days
The PondCast
3 days
[ Show More ]
Replay Cast
4 days
CranKy Ducklings
5 days
Online Event
5 days
FEL
5 days
BSL: Ladder Tournament
5 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
6 days
BSL Open Qualifier
6 days
BSL Open Qualifier
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Acropolis #5 - GSA
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Calamity Invitational

Ongoing

ASL Season 22
Super Anchor Qualifying S3
CSL 2026 AUTUMN (S22)
Acropolis #5
1win Private Club #1
Logitech G Play Connect 2026
SL StarSeries Fall 2026
FISSURE Playground #3
BLAST Open Fall 2026
Esports World Cup 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3

Upcoming

Acropolis #5 - GSB
Acropolis #5 - GSC
BSL Season 23
SC4ALL II: Brood War
BSL 23: Non-Korean Championship
HSC XXX
Stellar Fest 2: Lunar Cup
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
RSL Offline Finals
Custodian Cup
Copium Cup
PGL Major Singapore 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 6
BLAST Rivals Fall 2026
IEM Beijing 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 5
PGL Masters Bucharest 2026
1win Private Club #2
Thunderpick World Champ. '26
ESL Pro League Season 24
Stake Ranked Episode 4
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.