• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 19:09
CEST 01:09
KST 08:09
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
TL.net Map Contest #22 - Voting & Ladder Map Selection2Code S Season 2 (2026) - RO8 Preview5[ASL21] Finals Preview: Two Legacies21Code S Season 2 (2026) - RO12 Preview2herO wins GSL Code S Season 1 (2026)7
Community News
[BSL22] Non-Korean Championship from 13 to 28 June0Weekly Cups (May 25-31): Clem doubles, 2v2 circuit heads toward finale0StarCraft II 5.0.16 PTR Patch Notes may 26th145Weekly Cups (May 18-24): MaxPax wins doubles0Crank Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League5
StarCraft 2
General
SurgeHack Recovery Experts Are Fast and Reliable. StarCraft II 5.0.16 PTR Patch Notes may 26th My starcraft 2 changes The Death of Cheese: From a Professional Cheeser Oliveira Would Have Returned If EWC Continued
Tourneys
Maestros of The Game 2 announcement and schedule ! Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament RSL Revival: Season 5 - Qualifiers and Main Event Crank Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League GSL Code S Season 2 (2026)
Strategy
[G] Having the right mentality to improve
Custom Maps
[D]RTS in all its shapes and glory <3 [A] Nemrods 1/4 players
External Content
The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 528 Infection Detected Welcome to the External Content forum Mutation # 527 Hell Train
Brood War
General
Data analysis on 70 million replays BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ FlaShFTW vs A.Alm Grudge Match Event [BSL22] Non-Korean Championship from 13 to 28 June vespene.gg — BW replays in browser
Tourneys
[ASL21] Grand Finals [Megathread] Daily Proleagues Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 2 [BSL22] WB Final & LB Semis - Saturday 21:00 CEST
Strategy
Why doesn't anyone use restoration? Any training maps people recommend? Muta micro map competition [G] Hydra ZvZ: An Introduction
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Path of Exile Nintendo Switch Thread ZeroSpace Megathread Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas TL Mafia Community Thread Five o'clock TL Mafia
Community
General
Russo-Ukrainian War Thread US Politics Mega-thread How cold is too cold to be outdoors? Dating: How's your luck? Trading/Investing Thread
Fan Clubs
The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread McBoner: A hockey love story TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 Formula 1 Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread Facing Challenges in Mobile App Development
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Esportsmanship: How to NOT B…
TrAiDoS
Why RTS gamers make better f…
gosubay
ramps on octagon
StaticNine
ASL S21 English Commentary…
namkraft
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 10450 users

I Forgot How To Live

Blogs > EffervescentAureola
Post a Reply
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
October 04 2012 00:49 GMT
#1
I forgot how to be someone I want,
and so I became someone I never wanted to be.

My mind was never clear,
always clouded by a thousand different elements,
a thousand different distractions.

I lost sight of the light
at the end of the tunnel,
and I lost sight of my soul.

I once had a dream,
but I decided to somehow turn it into a nightmare,
my life could have been easy and simple,
but not simple to the point that I would die of boredom,
but smooth enough that I could challenge myself everyday.

I could have lived life with a clear vision,
I could have lived out my dream,
Smiling, laughing, being the best person
with the strongest moral character,
that I could possibly have.

But instead I decided to pretend I hated life,
pretend that I wanted my life to end.

I chose to drag out my days,
with a big frown on my face and sunken eyes,
instead of truly enjoying my life.

I forgot how to love,
Because I only taught myself how to cheat.

I forgot how to live,
I forgot how to live my life from the inside,
Instead of being an observer
and watching myself from the outside.

**
evaunit01
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States512 Posts
October 04 2012 01:28 GMT
#2
Well written, hits home a bit...
Gamertag: William T. Riker - My life for Aiur!
TerranosaurusWrecks
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Canada187 Posts
October 04 2012 01:46 GMT
#3
"Because I only taught myself how to cheat"

that's a really good line
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ "Like you can train a n00b, but they will just be a trained n00b."
TheEmulator
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
28100 Posts
October 04 2012 01:50 GMT
#4
This is good

Reminds me of my life in a few ways.
Administrator
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
October 04 2012 03:11 GMT
#5
Thanks everyone, this wasn't meant to be a great poem or anything like that, I just had to get some personal stuff off my shoulders. I don't want to be a robot, I'm tired of living this lie, I'm tired of trying, I've faced failure before, but after failing I have just lost my nerve and enthusiasm and threw my willpower out the window. I've let my failures dictate who I became as a person rather than taking command of my own life and not giving a #%^€, I've let people steal my dignity and I got depressed instead of fighting back. My problem is I was too sensitive. If I had just put up a barrier and did what I thought was right I could have gotten through this.
Jesse3
Profile Joined March 2020
1 Post
March 19 2020 01:13 GMT
#6
Hello how are you my name is Jesse. And this is exactly how i feel i wanted to see what did you start to do to overcome these over bearable feelings and thoughts im going insane feeling this way
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 9h 51m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
ZombieGrub145
JuggernautJason139
elazer 101
ProTech98
SpeCial 57
Codebar 10
StarCraft: Brood War
Calm 1676
Artosis 578
Rock 6
Dota 2
capcasts134
canceldota32
Super Smash Bros
AZ_Axe100
Other Games
summit1g12483
singsing1517
shahzam779
C9.Mang0304
uThermal210
Day[9].tv90
DenverSC229
ViBE28
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick650
BasetradeTV303
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
[ Show 14 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• davetesta11
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• masondota2959
Other Games
• imaqtpie1168
• Day9tv90
Upcoming Events
Replay Cast
9h 51m
WardiTV Spring Champion…
11h 51m
OSC
13h 51m
Maestros of the Game
16h 21m
Serral vs Percival
SHIN vs ShoWTimE
Replay Cast
1d
Replay Cast
1d 9h
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
1d 15h
Maestros of the Game
1d 16h
Clem vs Lambo
Zoun vs SKillous
Replay Cast
2 days
Replay Cast
2 days
Solar vs Classic
[ Show More ]
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
2 days
Grudge Match
2 days
FlaShFTW vs A.Alm
OSC
2 days
GSL
3 days
herO vs Rogue
Maru vs Cure
Patches Events
3 days
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
3 days
BSL
3 days
Monday Night Weeklies
4 days
Replay Cast
5 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
5 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Kung Fu Cup
6 days
Maestros of the Game
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

KK 2v2 League Season 1
RSL Revival: Season 5
Heroes Pulsing #1

Ongoing

BSL Season 22
IPSL Spring 2026
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 2
Acropolis #4
CSCL: Masked Kings S4
YSL S3
SCTL 2026 Spring
WardiTV Spring 2026
Maestros of the Game 2
2026 GSL S2
Murky Cup 2026
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026

Upcoming

BSL 22 Non-Korean Championship
CSLAN 4
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
CranK Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Heroes Pulsing #3
Heroes Pulsing #2
Esports World Cup 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.