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Hello TL!
Most of my blogs, (the vast and epic count of 4) are about the beautiful game of Starcraft2. This one however is going to be about life. My life. I haven't talked to anyone in a long time. Like really talking to someone. Talking about past experiences, difficulties, emotions, hurdles, failures and ofcourse success.
I recently started university..Its like hitting the reset button. New friends, new environment. I love it. I love the environment, the people, the profs. I love what I am doing and the direction in which I am headed. Some might say that I am really lucky as to find what I love doing so fast. I agree. But with these new changes, comes new challenges. I have never been socially adept. My last two years of high school were spent in my room playing Starcraft2 and I have no regrets. See, for me it was either play sc2 or get drunk with a bunch of lunatics. My school had a lot of lunatics. Either way, in university, I find that networking is a must. That's my first difficulty. While, I have no problems making friends, I can't ask them to introduce me to someone else. I think that it makes me look creepy/desperate since I have only known my friends for a couple of weeks. Either way this problem will come up again.
My studies are going great. I am majoring in Computer Science and from what I know/hear, its a great degree to have. For me, it doesn't matter. I love problem solving and coding. Chose Computer Science. Alot of people ask me why I didn't take Software Engineering. I don't know how to answer them but the truth is I value my alone time alot. Software Engineering is more about teamwork and working in a large group. While this is a necessary skill, I just like coding alone. I have learnt alot about myself from my past two years of highschool: Rarely going out, coding away into the night and playing starcraft. I would go out once in a while and of course I have missed out on events/parties but I don't feel like it would have done me any good. BUT, I did miss out on a necessary skill: Talking to girls. (More on that later)
I still play starcraft. I play when I am down. I play when I am feeling great. I play sometimes after drinking. I play when I am high. I have told the entire floor that I play starcraft. I am proud of it. I am proud that I can multitask. I am proud that I can split 6 probes into any combination that I want. I am proud that I find PvZ ez and PvT to be challenging. Fuck PvP.
I have saved the best for last. Ahh the never ending topic of girls. I am going to be real here. I can't talk to them for shit. I just don't know what to talk about. My entire life, I have talked about games, studies and given advice here or there. Its really kind of sad as my best friends in high school was a girl and a guy. I could talk to them about anything and we have talked about everything. Then things kind of fell apart in grade 11. They hooked up and I left them alone. In fact that's when I started hermiting. I really do miss them. But now whenever I talk to them, the conversations are just too formal. Hence the creation of this thread. I just wish that I can find friends like them again. Going back to the topic of girls, I just can't seem to talk to them. For example: we would be talking and I would say that I love Starcraft. This would lead to the inevitable question of "What is Starcraft?". So I would just tell them that its a game and how I like being a nerd. See, in that part I have confidence. When I go to ask for their number, I lose everything. Can't do it for shit. In fact, I have fucked up like 5-6 times now. Ahh well, just another hurdle in life.
Please do give tips, advice. Uni related, girl related or sc2 related. I just wanted to talk to some one.
cheers.
 
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You did a girl blog! A rare opportunity for me to have the upper hand in a conversation about dating and romance! First of all you're reallllly lucky(not saying it was luck, enviable might be abetter word) to have a career path that you enjoy and are competent at. I don't know if women particularly like that for certain, but absolutely I can confirm that they do not like people who lack that :p.
You spent a lot of time playing starcraft, so have I! What league are you in? Why don't you like protoss versus protoss? What strategies do you do in ZvP? Oh yeah?? why do you like that style? LOL OH yeah! tal darim altar! that map sucks!
I acted like we were conversing. You see I showed interest because you told me that you wanted someone to show some interest. It is pretty much that simple. I guess the real problem is to find some real common ground.. The trick is to make nothing out of something.. she will be like "ya I like to do interior decorating" so just "BRAINpsionicSTORMMM!!!
1. rooms... hmm i like some rooms not others. what rooms does this person like?
2. hmm a job.. is this like my job? does this need studying. do you go to school. does this person like architecture? does this person like this city? etc etc.
ANY connection to someting you know is the key. It is better if it is less related to things very specific to you and more specific to the person. then you guage what makes the person excited to talk about and you muster up some enthusiasm. and respond with a nice thought that the person's dialogue put into your mind. WHen he/she laughs laugh along! fun fun funny! Something goes wrong. You keep your cool like a game of star2.
Asking for a formal introduction would be awkard for me too. Friendship happens easiest for me when i am put into teamwork situations.. like a guy spills his drink and i will help him laugh it off and help him locate paper towels..
"haha thanks man whats your name by the way?"
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I would say don't worry too much about girls. Focus on your classes and your career goals, and someday you'll have $$ and girls will magically be attracted to you (even the ones who didn't look at you before). Girls love to talk about themselves, so if you're rich and successful they won't be too harsh on you.
Seriously, this is probably the hardest part for most people,
as Idra said (I'm paraphrasing)
"Most people can't even find something they love doing, let alone something they love so much that they're willing to work on it night and day."
Be glad that you have made that tough decision already.
Girls will come into your life soon enough, if you keep a cool head and have a good attitude about life.
The thing with girls is that you should never force the issue, if they like you they'll drop subtle hints at you. So just relax a bit and let it come naturally.
Don't feel obligated to have a girlfriend just because you think you should as a college student.
You're an individual and you know yourself better than anyone else, so you'll know when is the right time to be in a relationship.
Good Luck
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@Meteorskunk BWAhahaha your first line killed me. Still chuckling...
I actually didn't even realize that it was a girl blog. LOL But thank you for your help. I do find that finding a common ground is difficult. The next time, I will just BRAIINpsionicSTORM and it will come to me. I find that alot of it is reading people which is something that I want to get good at. Bloody difficult though.
Its not that I feel obligated to have a girlfriend. In fact, I don't want to fall in love. Thats stupid at the moment.
I want to have fun, talk to people, meet new people, play games, study.
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On September 26 2012 02:01 EffervescentAureola wrote:
I would say don't worry too much about girls. Focus on your classes and your career goals, and someday you'll have $$ and girls will magically be attracted to you (even the ones who didn't look at you before). Girls love to talk about themselves, so if you're rich and successful they won't be too harsh on you.
Seriously, this is probably the hardest part for most people,
as Idra said (I'm paraphrasing)
"Most people can't even find something they love doing, let alone something they love so much that they're willing to work on it night and day."
Be glad that you have made that tough decision already.
Girls will come into your life soon enough, if you keep a cool head and have a good attitude about life.
The thing with girls is that you should never force the issue, if they like you they'll drop subtle hints at you. So just relax a bit and let it come naturally.
Don't feel obligated to have a girlfriend just because you think you should as a college student.
You're an individual and you know yourself better than anyone else, so you'll know when is the right time to be in a relationship.
Good Luck
This advice is very passive and defeatist and I would suggest you try something else. Girls are attracted to confidence and genuineness. If all you're doing is forcing yourself to talk to girls to build the skill, that won't do anything for two reasons - 1, they can tell when you're not being genuine, and 2, it's not a "skill," rather something that should come naturally when you are comfortable with yourself. If, like you said, you're a person who values your time alone, it will be a lot harder to be comfortable around other people. I'm the same way, although I used to be very social. If you like people, it will show, and people want to feel liked. I think the hard part when you're more introverted isn't necessarily having a conversation with a girl, but taking things a step further than that. So I guess what I'm suggesting is, act on your impulses to be more social and build up a group of friends.
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Build your confidence little by little, if you are good in something look for a girl who need help in that area and try to talk to her, use the lesson to practice your conversation skills, when you fill confident enough keep moving foward, ask her for a drink or something, and so on... remember you are training yourself to be able to talk to a girl you like.
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On September 26 2012 02:01 EffervescentAureola wrote:
I would say don't worry too much about girls. Focus on your classes and your career goals, and someday you'll have $$ and girls will magically be attracted to you (even the ones who didn't look at you before). Girls love to talk about themselves, so if you're rich and successful they won't be too harsh on you.
Seriously, this is probably the hardest part for most people,
as Idra said (I'm paraphrasing)
"Most people can't even find something they love doing, let alone something they love so much that they're willing to work on it night and day."
Be glad that you have made that tough decision already.
Girls will come into your life soon enough, if you keep a cool head and have a good attitude about life.
The thing with girls is that you should never force the issue, if they like you they'll drop subtle hints at you. So just relax a bit and let it come naturally.
Don't feel obligated to have a girlfriend just because you think you should as a college student.
You're an individual and you know yourself better than anyone else, so you'll know when is the right time to be in a relationship.
Good Luck
I think you are mistaken with this quote: "most people cant work hard even at things they do enjoy, much less things they dont have a real passion for."
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@Meteorskunk BWAhahaha your first line killed me. Still chuckling...
I actually didn't even realize that it was a girl blog. LOL But thank you for your help. I do find that finding a common ground is difficult. The next time, I will just BRAIINpsionicSTORM and it will come to me. I find that alot of it is reading people which is something that I want to get good at. Bloody difficult though.
Haha well you brightened my mood by appreciating my attempts to be entertaining. I bet you'll manage to have some fun.
I feel we often don't show much to read; We like to hide it sometimes... we tell eachother what we want to know, and we don't want others to know some things. Anyways, nice chatting to you
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EPT
