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Read Part 3 here: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=367572
It occurs to me that I should be giving Banker Girl a name. Let's call her Helen.
So the next Sunday, midway through talking with Helen about how she was so disappointed in the men around her, I began to market my boss Lee to her.
Basically, her complaints boiled down to this:
She wanted to find a man a) more successful than her, b) that would stay loyal and emotionally attached, and c) preferably older and wiser
She herself was highly successful
The more successful a man was, the more likely he was going to sleep around a lot and be emotionally solitary
And so on and so forth. China has a phrase for these sorts of women: "leftover women." I tried to call her something else, but it was hard when she called herself that every other sentence.
I gently reminded her that if a guy was older than her and more successful as well, chances are he was not only married but also bound to one, two, or maybe even three other mistresses, so why should she subject herself to that kind of torment?
That's when she looked at me again and blushed without saying anything. She'd been doing that a lot by then so I decided I needed to act fast. In came Lee to the rescue, in the form of a phone call.
I think it was my crisp, repeated "是，领导" (Affirmative, leader) and "明白了,领导" (Understood, leader) that got her attention. She said the guy on the other end must be very important for me to respond in such a formal tone of voice. I didn't want to tell her that I said those phrases so much because they were the only oral Chinese phrases which I felt grammatically comfortable with... so I went along with her version of the story and gave a brief introduction to Lee.
She was intrigued. A PhD, worked for the equity fund for a state bank, a rising star in the bureaucracy. I left out the prior marriage and the custody battle, and offered a double date.
I should also mention that by this time she knew about Sylvia. It neither bothered nor deterred her.
She accepted my offer.
Lee was a slightly harder sell. He was initially skeptical of her. I'd mentioned she had a boyfriend who she wanted to break up with. He was looking for someone to take care of his "niece", he said. I said that it was just one date--no commitments, and besides, he owed me one for having to deal with his ex-wife. He accepted.
Sylvia picked a French-Swiss-Italian restaurant slightly east of Tuanjiehu, in a rare low-rise luxury complex which I later found out was populated mostly by members of China's film industry.
My girlfriend was a big cheese buff so she started us off on a nice menagerie, which was followed by a charcuterie plate. Bottles of the good stuff appeared... a mid 1990s white, an early 90s red, selected by our resident investment banker english student sommelier. Lee was impressed, in spite of himself. I could tell the two were getting it on, so Sylvia and I just backed off and let them figure each other out. By the time the secondos came around, Lee and Helen were sharing plates. (Sylvia would later comment on the disconnect between Helen's appetite and BMI to the effect that smoking seemed worth it. I wondered if Sylvia's father would find it ironic if she ended up smoking and I didn't.)
For the first time ever, I was happy to be friend-zoned. Lee and Helen left together, and I had enough in my shoebox to take Sylvia out for a night on the town. Life was good.
The 4AM phone calls would come later.
Part 5, Balconies Have Great Reception
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=370875
  
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D'aww. And yeah, I know what you mean with the "leftover women" phrase, actually. Age, education, and money :\
Do you have an estimate with regard to how long your narrative will probably end up? I was expecting upwards of a dozen but people were mentioning that it's going to hit the climax soon. I feel like there could be a lot more but things could, of course, escalate quickly :X
The story to which I'm looking forward to most, though, is the one that resulted in your name change.
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Oh boy 4 am phone calls. When shit hits the fan....
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On September 11 2012 10:10 EtherealDeath wrote:
Oh boy 4 am phone calls. When shit hits the fan....
At least they were cheap, thanks to the nighttime phone rates of China Mobile 
(After I took Sylvia out to Silk, her dad suggested I should start paying her phone bill. Then he laughed and said he was just messing with me.)
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On September 11 2012 10:05 Aerisky wrote:
D'aww. And yeah, I know what you mean with the "leftover women" phrase, actually. Age, education, and money :\
Man oh man seriously though you could go to China and enjoy a great lifestyle if you're willing to "chi ruan fan" (live off a sugar mommy). The only wedding I attended while there was a 31 year old McKinsey lady partner marrying a bohemian 22 year old art college graduate.
Do you have an estimate with regard to how long your narrative will probably end up? I was expecting upwards of a dozen but people were mentioning that it's going to hit the climax soon. I feel like there could be a lot more but things could, of course, escalate quickly :X
Not going to spoil things but there isn't much left to tell.
The story to which I'm looking forward to most, though, is the one that resulted in your name change.
I try not to write about exes until at least 1 year after the breakup, sorry
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You must be EXTREMELY careful when selecting a mate over there, man.
That is all I have to tell you. I'm a Chinese major in my hometown university, and I have spent 14 months in China and 4 months in Taiwan, and I kid you not, there is nothing in the world that would convince me to marry a mainlander.
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On September 11 2012 10:40 Enders116 wrote:
You must be EXTREMELY careful when selecting a mate over there, man.
That is all I have to tell you. I'm a Chinese major in my hometown university, and I have spent 14 months in China and 4 months in Taiwan, and I kid you not, there is nothing in the world that would convince me to marry a mainlander.
+1 on the last part lol!
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On September 11 2012 10:40 Enders116 wrote:
You must be EXTREMELY careful when selecting a mate over there, man.
That is all I have to tell you. I'm a Chinese major in my hometown university, and I have spent 14 months in China and 4 months in Taiwan, and I kid you not, there is nothing in the world that would convince me to marry a mainlander.
Let's see, mainlander women are vain, over-pampered, materialistic, overeager to suck on white dicks, am I missing anything?
It's utterly sad to see how morally depraved mainlanders in general have become, they used to be much more likable in my mother's time.
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On September 11 2012 10:18 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On September 11 2012 10:05 Aerisky wrote:
D'aww. And yeah, I know what you mean with the "leftover women" phrase, actually. Age, education, and money :\ Man oh man seriously though you could go to China and enjoy a great lifestyle if you're willing to "chi ruan fan" (live off a sugar mommy). The only wedding I attended while there was a 31 year old McKinsey lady partner marrying a bohemian 22 year old art college graduate.
ewww... 31 year old... she must be shriveling up like a prune.
so many well moneyed mainlander students at my university. must dig me some gold!
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TLADT24920 Posts
Thanks for continuing the story!
"The 4AM phone calls would come later"
><' Part 5 please :D
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On September 11 2012 12:25 Xiahou wrote:Show nested quote +On September 11 2012 10:40 Enders116 wrote:
You must be EXTREMELY careful when selecting a mate over there, man.
That is all I have to tell you. I'm a Chinese major in my hometown university, and I have spent 14 months in China and 4 months in Taiwan, and I kid you not, there is nothing in the world that would convince me to marry a mainlander. Let's see, mainlander women are vain, over-pampered, materialistic, overeager to suck on white dicks, am I missing anything? It's utterly sad to see how morally depraved mainlanders in general have become, they used to be much more likable in my mother's time.
Actually I've had pretty good experiences with mainlander girls. My past three exes were all Chinese, and they were all funny, cute, honest, smart, etc. Some of the in-laws were a little... protective, but that can be excused.
Anyhow if any of you are ever in Beijing you absolutely have to go to that Italian place and try the veal carpaccio. I think it was called Barolo.
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On September 11 2012 12:25 Xiahou wrote:Show nested quote +On September 11 2012 10:40 Enders116 wrote:
You must be EXTREMELY careful when selecting a mate over there, man.
That is all I have to tell you. I'm a Chinese major in my hometown university, and I have spent 14 months in China and 4 months in Taiwan, and I kid you not, there is nothing in the world that would convince me to marry a mainlander. Let's see, mainlander women are vain, over-pampered, materialistic, overeager to suck on white dicks, am I missing anything? It's utterly sad to see how morally depraved mainlanders in general have become, they used to be much more likable in my mother's time.
I actually think an argument could be made that the morals had never been particularly great, that the Chinese capitalist system exacerbated these latent depraved tendencies, and also that the greatest disparity between China and first world countries is obviously not the economic vitality (and/or corruption) but the human status. Though yeah I do see your point at the same time, the status quo is quite terrible because of this rise of materialism and what have you.
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Christ Mr Sands, you are a GREAT story teller, and sounds like you've had some great experiences (albeit slightly painful at times). Are you currently in Beijing?
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On September 11 2012 14:13 The_LiNk wrote:Show nested quote +On September 11 2012 10:18 Shady Sands wrote:On September 11 2012 10:05 Aerisky wrote:
D'aww. And yeah, I know what you mean with the "leftover women" phrase, actually. Age, education, and money :\ Man oh man seriously though you could go to China and enjoy a great lifestyle if you're willing to "chi ruan fan" (live off a sugar mommy). The only wedding I attended while there was a 31 year old McKinsey lady partner marrying a bohemian 22 year old art college graduate. ewww... 31 year old... she must be shriveling up like a prune. so many well moneyed mainlander students at my university. must dig me some gold!
To be fair an average 31 year old Chinese woman ages like a ~23 to 25 year old blonde.
Seriously I am very often surprised to find out how old white people are because they look much older than they seem. Just like how we look like kids to you guys.
On September 11 2012 10:40 Enders116 wrote:
You must be EXTREMELY careful when selecting a mate over there, man.
That is all I have to tell you. I'm a Chinese major in my hometown university, and I have spent 14 months in China and 4 months in Taiwan, and I kid you not, there is nothing in the world that would convince me to marry a mainlander.
Having to beg a Taiwanese wife for pocket money doesn't seem too appealing either >_>
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On September 11 2012 18:50 JieXian wrote:Show nested quote +On September 11 2012 14:13 The_LiNk wrote:On September 11 2012 10:18 Shady Sands wrote:On September 11 2012 10:05 Aerisky wrote:
D'aww. And yeah, I know what you mean with the "leftover women" phrase, actually. Age, education, and money :\ Man oh man seriously though you could go to China and enjoy a great lifestyle if you're willing to "chi ruan fan" (live off a sugar mommy). The only wedding I attended while there was a 31 year old McKinsey lady partner marrying a bohemian 22 year old art college graduate. ewww... 31 year old... she must be shriveling up like a prune. so many well moneyed mainlander students at my university. must dig me some gold! To be fair an average 31 year old Chinese woman ages like a ~23 to 25 year old blonde. Seriously I am very often surprised to find out how old white people are because they look much older than they seem. Just like how we look like kids to you guys.
True, which is why I always laugh a little when Chinese girls get all emotional over one wrinkle or crow's foot... or when Chinese housewives spend more money on makeup than on food (for the entire family)
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Hey, congrats on the featured blog.
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On September 11 2012 19:22 marttorn wrote:
Hey, congrats on the featured blog.
Wow, just noticed that. Thanks for catching it =)
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On September 11 2012 12:25 Xiahou wrote:Show nested quote +On September 11 2012 10:40 Enders116 wrote:
You must be EXTREMELY careful when selecting a mate over there, man.
That is all I have to tell you. I'm a Chinese major in my hometown university, and I have spent 14 months in China and 4 months in Taiwan, and I kid you not, there is nothing in the world that would convince me to marry a mainlander. Let's see, mainlander women are vain, over-pampered, materialistic, overeager to suck on white dicks, am I missing anything? It's utterly sad to see how morally depraved mainlanders in general have become, they used to be much more likable in my mother's time.
My main problem is, and I see this happening even for mainland Chinese here in America, mainland Chinese boyfriends pay for the apartments that their girlfriends live in, but some of these guys don't even have a job. So, where do they get their money? Parents...
My main issue is, many mainland women are just willing to do anything just to be with a foreigner, and that means sacrificing morality a lot of the time.
I don't want to steal the blog here, but I'll say that I met the parents of one of my ex's and I saw just how backwards they are: spitting on the floor (of even their own house), embracing superstitious ideals, criticizing people more educated than themselves, not knowing where AIDS comes from (and thus risking contracting it when donating blood), engaging in the most disgusting habits when they have guests come for a visit... the list goes on and on. I was the only white guy in a city of one million.I became a propaganda icon overnight.
Comparatively speaking, I had like 7 dates in Taiwan and didn't have to worry about that shit. It was just like meeting an American that speaks Chinese as their mother tongue.
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On September 11 2012 20:37 Enders116 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 11 2012 12:25 Xiahou wrote:On September 11 2012 10:40 Enders116 wrote:
You must be EXTREMELY careful when selecting a mate over there, man.
That is all I have to tell you. I'm a Chinese major in my hometown university, and I have spent 14 months in China and 4 months in Taiwan, and I kid you not, there is nothing in the world that would convince me to marry a mainlander. Let's see, mainlander women are vain, over-pampered, materialistic, overeager to suck on white dicks, am I missing anything? It's utterly sad to see how morally depraved mainlanders in general have become, they used to be much more likable in my mother's time. My main problem is, and I see this happening even for mainland Chinese here in America, mainland Chinese boyfriends pay for the apartments that their girlfriends live in, but some of these guys don't even have a job. So, where do they get their money? Parents... My main issue is, many mainland women are just willing to do anything just to be with a foreigner, and that means sacrificing morality a lot of the time. I don't want to steal the blog here, but I'll say that I met the parents of one of my ex's and I saw just how backwards they are: spitting on the floor (of even their own house), embracing superstitious ideals, criticizing people more educated than themselves, not knowing where AIDS comes from (and thus risking contracting it when donating blood), engaging in the most disgusting habits when they have guests come for a visit... the list goes on and on. I was the only white guy in a city of one million.I became a propaganda icon overnight. Comparatively speaking, I had like 7 dates in Taiwan and didn't have to worry about that shit. It was just like meeting an American that speaks Chinese as their mother tongue.
So...TL;DR go for Taiwanese women?
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On September 11 2012 20:37 Enders116 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 11 2012 12:25 Xiahou wrote:On September 11 2012 10:40 Enders116 wrote:
You must be EXTREMELY careful when selecting a mate over there, man.
That is all I have to tell you. I'm a Chinese major in my hometown university, and I have spent 14 months in China and 4 months in Taiwan, and I kid you not, there is nothing in the world that would convince me to marry a mainlander. Let's see, mainlander women are vain, over-pampered, materialistic, overeager to suck on white dicks, am I missing anything? It's utterly sad to see how morally depraved mainlanders in general have become, they used to be much more likable in my mother's time. My main problem is, and I see this happening even for mainland Chinese here in America, mainland Chinese boyfriends pay for the apartments that their girlfriends live in, but some of these guys don't even have a job. So, where do they get their money? Parents... My main issue is, many mainland women are just willing to do anything just to be with a foreigner, and that means sacrificing morality a lot of the time. I don't want to steal the blog here, but I'll say that I met the parents of one of my ex's and I saw just how backwards they are: spitting on the floor (of even their own house), embracing superstitious ideals, criticizing people more educated than themselves, not knowing where AIDS comes from (and thus risking contracting it when donating blood), engaging in the most disgusting habits when they have guests come for a visit... the list goes on and on. I was the only white guy in a city of one million.I became a propaganda icon overnight. Comparatively speaking, I had like 7 dates in Taiwan and didn't have to worry about that shit. It was just like meeting an American that speaks Chinese as their mother tongue.
Cut them some slack, it's a "city" of 1 mil but it's China after all lol. They all probably had a really tough time getting food on the table for generations. After all, when you say Taiwan you're probably talking about Taipei right?
However, you do know about Taiwanese men begging for raises on their pocket money (零用钱) from their wives right
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sorry but whats the defenition of "mainland" that you are using... i have an idea but im not sure 
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From experience, I feel inner region mainland girls are less demanding than the coastel city girls. It's probably because inner regions are surrounded by less obvious wealth.
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Well written and good story. Looking forward to part 5.
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On September 12 2012 00:21 JieXian wrote:Show nested quote +On September 11 2012 20:37 Enders116 wrote:On September 11 2012 12:25 Xiahou wrote:On September 11 2012 10:40 Enders116 wrote:
You must be EXTREMELY careful when selecting a mate over there, man.
That is all I have to tell you. I'm a Chinese major in my hometown university, and I have spent 14 months in China and 4 months in Taiwan, and I kid you not, there is nothing in the world that would convince me to marry a mainlander. Let's see, mainlander women are vain, over-pampered, materialistic, overeager to suck on white dicks, am I missing anything? It's utterly sad to see how morally depraved mainlanders in general have become, they used to be much more likable in my mother's time. My main problem is, and I see this happening even for mainland Chinese here in America, mainland Chinese boyfriends pay for the apartments that their girlfriends live in, but some of these guys don't even have a job. So, where do they get their money? Parents... My main issue is, many mainland women are just willing to do anything just to be with a foreigner, and that means sacrificing morality a lot of the time. I don't want to steal the blog here, but I'll say that I met the parents of one of my ex's and I saw just how backwards they are: spitting on the floor (of even their own house), embracing superstitious ideals, criticizing people more educated than themselves, not knowing where AIDS comes from (and thus risking contracting it when donating blood), engaging in the most disgusting habits when they have guests come for a visit... the list goes on and on. I was the only white guy in a city of one million.I became a propaganda icon overnight. Comparatively speaking, I had like 7 dates in Taiwan and didn't have to worry about that shit. It was just like meeting an American that speaks Chinese as their mother tongue. Cut them some slack, it's a "city" of 1 mil but it's China after all lol. They all probably had a really tough time getting food on the table for generations. After all, when you say Taiwan you're probably talking about Taipei right? However, you do know about Taiwanese men begging for raises on their pocket money (零用钱) from their wives right
Yeah, but that's not saying much considering their national average salary for an undergrad is only 23,000 NT each month, and is only 5,000 NT above their minimum wage at roughly 18,000 NT monthly (not even 1000 USD monthly). I knew a girl whose father and mother were divorced and her dad made like 30,000 NT a month (just above 1k USD). Half of that went to her mother and her mother didn't even work.
Their living standard is cheaper than America's, but more demanding than mainland China's. I plan on going back when I graduate.
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On September 11 2012 20:37 Enders116 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 11 2012 12:25 Xiahou wrote:On September 11 2012 10:40 Enders116 wrote:
You must be EXTREMELY careful when selecting a mate over there, man.
That is all I have to tell you. I'm a Chinese major in my hometown university, and I have spent 14 months in China and 4 months in Taiwan, and I kid you not, there is nothing in the world that would convince me to marry a mainlander. Let's see, mainlander women are vain, over-pampered, materialistic, overeager to suck on white dicks, am I missing anything? It's utterly sad to see how morally depraved mainlanders in general have become, they used to be much more likable in my mother's time. My main problem is, and I see this happening even for mainland Chinese here in America, mainland Chinese boyfriends pay for the apartments that their girlfriends live in, but some of these guys don't even have a job. So, where do they get their money? Parents... My main issue is, many mainland women are just willing to do anything just to be with a foreigner, and that means sacrificing morality a lot of the time. I don't want to steal the blog here, but I'll say that I met the parents of one of my ex's and I saw just how backwards they are: spitting on the floor (of even their own house), embracing superstitious ideals, criticizing people more educated than themselves, not knowing where AIDS comes from (and thus risking contracting it when donating blood), engaging in the most disgusting habits when they have guests come for a visit... the list goes on and on. I was the only white guy in a city of one million.I became a propaganda icon overnight. Comparatively speaking, I had like 7 dates in Taiwan and didn't have to worry about that shit. It was just like meeting an American that speaks Chinese as their mother tongue.
A lot of your contempt for the behavior of your ex's parents honestly sounds like a gap in cultural and generational understanding imo.
1. Okay, spitting on the floor is kind of nasty, but I would not raise my eyebrow at it.
2. Many Taiwanese people are superstitious, especially those of the older generation. I dunno why you listed this 'cause superstition's pretty big in both mainland China and outside of it throughout much of East Asia. My (Taiwanese) mother and (Taiwanese) grandmother are both superstitious, as an example.
3. People criticize others more educated than themselves all the time. Sometimes it's just jealousy, sometimes it's just, "I can't believe that young whippersnapper actually thinks he knows more than me!"
4. Education difference. (Again, especially amongst the older generation, this isn't uncommon.)
5. Disgusting habits? Please elaborate.
Both Chinese and Taiwanese families in general seem to be a little more open about disgusting behavior than many Western families; it's one of those cultural things again, I feel. In Western families, I feel like you have to know all these unspoken rules, and there's a lot more "ignoring" or "pretending" that disgusting behavior doesn't happen. In many Chinese and Taiwanese families, there's more acceptance that it just happens and everyone does it. I know that my (Taiwanese) grandparents and (Taiwanese) parents have no issue peeing with the bathroom door open, for instance, or farting or burping or picking their noses without trying to cover it up, lol. One of my uncle's gfs once had her period while sitting on a pillow, and when she realized it, she just told my grandmother in front of a bunch of strangers (i.e. my mom and I) and went to immediately wash it in the bathroom. No shame in that, it happens. I have the feeling that something like this would be a much more hush-hush affair if you're dealing with a white family, with plenty of mortification to go around.
Not to mention, drawing such a conclusion from the parents of one of your exes when you go on to say you never had a problem with the seven other Taiwanese girls you dated ... well, you see the faulty logic in that, don't you? Maybe if you dated six more mainland girls and met their parents, you'd have discovered that they weren't as backward.
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On September 12 2012 03:23 Enders116 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 12 2012 00:21 JieXian wrote:On September 11 2012 20:37 Enders116 wrote:On September 11 2012 12:25 Xiahou wrote:On September 11 2012 10:40 Enders116 wrote:
You must be EXTREMELY careful when selecting a mate over there, man.
That is all I have to tell you. I'm a Chinese major in my hometown university, and I have spent 14 months in China and 4 months in Taiwan, and I kid you not, there is nothing in the world that would convince me to marry a mainlander. Let's see, mainlander women are vain, over-pampered, materialistic, overeager to suck on white dicks, am I missing anything? It's utterly sad to see how morally depraved mainlanders in general have become, they used to be much more likable in my mother's time. My main problem is, and I see this happening even for mainland Chinese here in America, mainland Chinese boyfriends pay for the apartments that their girlfriends live in, but some of these guys don't even have a job. So, where do they get their money? Parents... My main issue is, many mainland women are just willing to do anything just to be with a foreigner, and that means sacrificing morality a lot of the time. I don't want to steal the blog here, but I'll say that I met the parents of one of my ex's and I saw just how backwards they are: spitting on the floor (of even their own house), embracing superstitious ideals, criticizing people more educated than themselves, not knowing where AIDS comes from (and thus risking contracting it when donating blood), engaging in the most disgusting habits when they have guests come for a visit... the list goes on and on. I was the only white guy in a city of one million.I became a propaganda icon overnight. Comparatively speaking, I had like 7 dates in Taiwan and didn't have to worry about that shit. It was just like meeting an American that speaks Chinese as their mother tongue. Cut them some slack, it's a "city" of 1 mil but it's China after all lol. They all probably had a really tough time getting food on the table for generations. After all, when you say Taiwan you're probably talking about Taipei right? However, you do know about Taiwanese men begging for raises on their pocket money (零用钱) from their wives right Yeah, but that's not saying much considering their national average salary for an undergrad is only 23,000 NT each month, and is only 5,000 NT above their minimum wage at roughly 18,000 NT monthly (not even 1000 USD monthly). I knew a girl whose father and mother were divorced and her dad made like 30,000 NT a month (just above 1k USD). Half of that went to her mother and her mother didn't even work. Their living standard is cheaper than America's, but more demanding than mainland China's. I plan on going back when I graduate.
I'm not trying to be sarcastic but I don't get which point you were trying to address. I wasn't talking about present living costs at all.
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EPT
