I had a good friend. The best friend I've ever had. She was fun. Caring. Supportive. Loving. Charming. Not afraid to speak up her mind. To be rude when she had to. She was a loving sister and daughter. A dedicated student. She was there when I needed her. And when I didn't. She made a difference in my life.
It's been 18 years since she and her family passed away. 18 fucking years. And it seems like it's been only a split second for me. I still remember that morning when I woke up with mum and dad at my bedside and mum held me in her arms so tight. I knew something was so terribly wrong... And when dad told me that your family had a crash and you all died, despite of all the effort the doctors attempted... And he said it as bluntly as he always does things, not sugar coating anything for shit, my heart didn't just skip a beat. It wanted to stop right then and there. I felt a hole so massive in my soul I felt a large part of me died with you... I can now say for certain I became a rather bitter old, young man that day. Some sort of a young Gregory House... Funny, because I later grew up to be a doctor and save lifes. Lifes of those like you. A life that could not be saved...
Not a single day has passed since then that I haven't thought of you. I miss you so damn much. I miss your voice. I miss your smile. I miss your laughter and your silly jokes. I miss your advice and your lullabies you sang to me when I fell asleep on your lap... I miss those weekends when we got together for lunch and then we just lay on my backyard watching the clouds go by for hours...
I miss you so much... So much it hurts... And this little post here is just to keep a memory of you alive. 18 years gone. And I still can't fucking believe you're gone...
Sometimes life can be completely turned upside down. It is sad to hear you have had to go through something like this, but it is great to hear that you still cherish your memories and turned things around by becoming a doctor.
I'm sorry for your loss, TheEmulator is right, that you still have your memories of them. We all have lost people we cherish and cant live without. We just have to find the strength to move on, and it sounds like you channeled that energy into helping others to save the ones that can be saved and shield people from the pain that you have experienced in the past.
Losing a loved one/close friend is the worst thing that can possibly happen. I miss my brother so much but I know he's in a better place now. This world is a sad place but you have to put your best foot forward and keep on living. It can feel like you are in a good place after years but that is all part of growing as an individual... it still leaves that empty hole in you heart that makes you think "But, what if she/he were still here? How much better our life would be?"
Everything happens for a reason and memories are not to be forgotten but cherished.
I'll leave you with this song lyric that has always helped me get through the tough times:
"I believe there's never a place better than right where you are. although imagining an after life can tend to mend a broken heart, And with someone dead, it's a way of coping with loss. But I don't need you out there somewhere if I have you in my thoughts."
Such a sad story, you have my condolences. Stay strong! Your friend is in a better place and you are doing your best to make sure that others who are in the same position are cared for as much as possible.
You just reminded me of losing my best friend... like just a few months ago that would have happened 10 years ago i think(could be 9 years ago... I'm not sure anymore) he and another friend of mine had apparently managed to start an old semi-abandoned car somewhere, they accidentally drove into a lake refusing to stop for a police car that noticed them driving oddly i assume, both died in hospital afterwards having been underwater for 15-30 minutes if i remember correctly, they were both 15 or 16 at that time. I guess it was lucky i pretty recently started hanging out with other people who didn't know him that well, it seems like it hit other people a lot harder but the funeral with his parents and little siblings is still the worst thing I've ever experienced.
Today would have been the 30th birthday of one of my closesed and oldest friends. I knew him since we were about 6 years old. He was hit a couple of years ago by a car on new years eve and although the medics tried everything, in the end there was nothing they could do.
Every year his parents organize a small get together for his closest friends to keep his memory alive and celebrate life. So we had that yesterday and drank a good glass of Whiskey in his honor. He would have liked that. It always brings back a lot of beautiful and some painful memories. After work I´ll go and visit his grave.
Someone gave me this, with the footnote included, a couple of days after my cousin died in a bungie jumping accident. 13 years ago already, still feels like it was just last month... Kind of a brutal ending to the poem but the heart of the message felt appropriate after reading your post. I took it to heart and I'm glad I did...
Around the Corner by Henson Towne
Around the corner I have a friend, In this great city that has no end, Yet the days go by and weeks rush on, And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face, For life is a swift and terrible race, He knows I like him just as well, As in the days when I rang his bell, And he rang mine.
Yes, we were younger then, And now we are busy, tired men Tired of playing a foolish game, Tired of trying to make a name.
"Tomorrow" I say "I will call on Jim" "Just to show that I'm thinking of him." But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes, And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner!- yet miles away "Here's a telegram sir--" "Jim died today." And that's what we get and deserve in the end. Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Never be afraid to express yourself. Take the opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets. Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway. Pass this along and let it make a difference in your day and theirs. That's the difference between expressing love and having regrets which may stay around forever. You've received this because someone cares for you and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care. Set a new trend; tell the people you care about that they're important to you, even if they already know it.
Sorry for you're loss man, I can't say I know what you are going through but I have experienced something the same, had my best friend taken from me by a freak car accident, it happens so randomly and fast there is nothing you can do about it, you have to just cherish the memories you have of them, pray to god for them, and hope they shine down upon you with good grace and good luck, God bless you and once again i'm sorry for you're loss, try to be strong~
I hate it when you say goodbye to someone and they pretend it's not a big deal and make lies like that you'll see them again. Yeah comfort me now :/ rob me of the speciality of my last day that I'll ever see a friend again.
And yes, there are people I should spend my time with every day I get the chance too.
On September 10 2012 16:02 JieXian wrote: You know that you'd need to be a genius in medicine and in human psychology to actually be House right :D
Great song btw
Is that really what you got out of this blog post? Fuck you.
OP, this was really touching to read. I'm sorry to hear about your loss and even more sorry to know it still pains you to this day. Try to push past the pain and enjoy the memory of her, if you can. I'm sure she would want you to be happy, as difficult as it seems. How old were you (both)?
On September 10 2012 14:24 DomiNater wrote: Damn... my condolences sir.
Losing a loved one/close friend is the worst thing that can possibly happen. I miss my brother so much but I know he's in a better place now. This world is a sad place but you have to put your best foot forward and keep on living. It can feel like you are in a good place after years but that is all part of growing as an individual... it still leaves that empty hole in you heart that makes you think "But, what if she/he were still here? How much better our life would be?"
Everything happens for a reason and memories are not to be forgotten but cherished.
I'll leave you with this song lyric that has always helped me get through the tough times:
"I believe there's never a place better than right where you are. although imagining an after life can tend to mend a broken heart, And with someone dead, it's a way of coping with loss. But I don't need you out there somewhere if I have you in my thoughts."
Micheal Larsen was a beautiful genius himself.
^ I second that quote, everything eyedea spoke came straight from the depths of his soul.
I'm really sorry for that experience. I know that we've all felt that emotion to a degree and those of us who've been spared the circumstance you've faced so far, can only begin to comprehend the extent of that anguish.
I wish I had time for sombre reflection this night, but my life doesn't allow it. Goodluck, OP, it was an extremely sad and touching read indeed.
I'm sorry for your lost; when someone is suddenly and violently taken away from you, it is much harder to get over there loss. Much love to you and here's hoping the next 10 will be easier than the 1st.
"For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity." - William Penn My condolences, and may her memories and spirit rest in the flow of our eternal time.
;( My condolences to you my friend. Good to hear that you still were able to become a doctor and save lives. You never really know how much you needed something 'til it's gone, huh?
That is honestly very, very depressing and no one should ever have to lose people like that. I've had friends (not too close) die from car accidents, cancer, and the war in Afghanistan all before 21, which only makes things even worse, knowing how young they were. I have one question though: Did you decide to become a doctor because of the tragedy? If so, that's truly one of the best ways, I think, to honour her and her family, by helping to make sure no one else will hopefully ever have to suffer like that. Sorry if that sounds a little bit weird, I've never been good at expressing myself , especially in situations like this.
So sad. It's good you still keep her memory alive though. My condolences.
Also, this:
On September 11 2012 13:40 plasmidghost wrote:Did you decide to become a doctor because of the tragedy? If so, that's truly one of the best ways, I think, to honour her and her family, by helping to make sure no one else will hopefully ever have to suffer like that.
EPT
