• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 23:32
CET 04:32
KST 12:32
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
ByuL: The Forgotten Master of ZvT30Behind the Blue - Team Liquid History Book19Clem wins HomeStory Cup 289HomeStory Cup 28 - Info & Preview13Rongyi Cup S3 - Preview & Info8
Community News
BGE Stara Zagora 2026 cancelled10Blizzard Classic Cup - Tastosis announced as captains12Weekly Cups (March 2-8): ByuN overcomes PvT block4GSL CK - New online series18BSL Season 224
StarCraft 2
General
BGE Stara Zagora 2026 cancelled BGE Stara Zagora 2026 announced ByuL: The Forgotten Master of ZvT Terran AddOns placement Blizzard Classic Cup - Tastosis announced as captains
Tourneys
[GSL CK] Team Maru vs. Team herO StarCraft Evolution League (SC Evo Biweekly) WardiTV Team League Season 10 Master Swan Open (Global Bronze-Master 2) RSL Season 4 announced for March-April
Strategy
Custom Maps
Publishing has been re-enabled! [Feb 24th 2026] Map Editor closed ?
External Content
The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 516 Specter of Death Mutation # 515 Together Forever Mutation # 514 Ulnar New Year
Brood War
General
BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ ASL21 General Discussion BW General Discussion Gypsy to Korea Are you ready for ASL 21? Hype VIDEO
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [BSL22] Open Qualifiers & Ladder Tours IPSL Spring 2026 is here! ASL Season 21 Qualifiers March 7-8
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Soma's 9 hatch build from ASL Game 2 Fighting Spirit mining rates Zealot bombing is no longer popular?
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Path of Exile Nintendo Switch Thread PC Games Sales Thread No Man's Sky (PS4 and PC)
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion The Story of Wings Gaming
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Five o'clock TL Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas Vanilla Mini Mafia TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Mexico's Drug War Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread NASA and the Private Sector
Fan Clubs
The IdrA Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books [Manga] One Piece
Sports
Formula 1 Discussion 2024 - 2026 Football Thread General nutrition recommendations Cricket [SPORT] TL MMA Pick'em Pool 2013
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Laptop capable of using Photoshop Lightroom?
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Iranian anarchists: organize…
XenOsky
FS++
Kraekkling
Shocked by a laser…
Spydermine0240
Gaming-Related Deaths
TrAiDoS
Unintentional protectionism…
Uldridge
ASL S21 English Commentary…
namkraft
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 2170 users

Bad Brewer Ilan

Blogs > ToT)OjKa(
Post a Reply
ToT)OjKa(
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Korea (South)2437 Posts
August 07 2012 16:36 GMT
#1
This is meant to be the start of a series of short stories involving (bad) potion brewer Ilan. If you have the time, please read and any critique or general tips are welcome:

Bad Brewer Ilan

The glass of wine in her hand. Close, so close to drinking it.

Come on...

Ilan felt tingles of excitement ping around his body, his fingers drumming onto his knees as he sat there in the stuffy tavern.
She spoke some words and smiled as the two adults with her laughed. Ilan knew that foul smile hiding a wicked heart and although he had only arrived in the village the previous day, it did not take a lot of time to have a unfriendly encounter with her.
No doubt the other villagers felt the same way about her Ilan thought. For some reason, he always detected some caution when they were around her and seemed to make sure they were friendly and laughing with her.

Soon they’d be laughing at her, everyone in the tavern and they wouldn’t care if they did. Ilan had managed to slip one of his concoctions into that wine glass and he eagerly awaited the result. The ‘flatulence potion’ Ilan had created which once drunk, would begin to expel (sometimes fiercely) any trapped air in the body - one way or the other.

She swirled her glass gently and lifted it to her curved red lips.

Ilan stopped his drumming as his fingers folded into his palms and tightened. He leaned forward, transfixed on Lucinda.

She drank.

One gulp - two.

She lowered the glass and looked at it with a scrunched face, pawing around with her tongue brushing this odd taste from her mouth. Apparently she had not noticed the slight discolouration of the red wine beforehand but now she certainly tasted a difference.

She looked to the adults and muttered something and returned her gaze to the glass.

A feeling of suspense flushed through Ilan.

Any moment now...

She fumbled the glass down onto the heavy table and covered her mouth. She suppressed a cough and another and rose to her feet. The third cough came out with more force and her free hand shot out and grabbed the man she was with to stabilize herself.
Another hard cough sent her back to the bench and soon grew into a fit of coughing, sending her one hand flailing along the table and the other clutching her throat.

The joyful smile of Ilan shrank away and his face grew puzzled. His eyes had been locked on Lucinda all this time but now he began to notice what was happening around her. The portly man and well-dressed lady she was with now stood aghast over her, one getting water whilst the other tried slapping her on the back which only seemed to anger Lucinda, as she began to crumple towards the floor.

The other drinkers were becoming aware of this scene. Some sat wide-eyed, others exclaimed they’d get help and barreled toward the heavy oak door of the tavern.

Ilan’s hazel eyes widened. He sat frozen on the bench taking in this scene now unfolding. Whether the crackling fireplace had anything to do with the surge of heat through Ilan he did not know, he was just a statue.
People rushed around her as cries of “Water!” and “Choking!” bounced across the room accompanied by the hollow thuds of boots scattering on the planked floor.

Things happened so fast. Ilan meekly slid his hand into the pocket of his rough-spun robe and felt the tops of his three potion bottles. He looked to the floor and tried to focus.

It was the right one...it definitely was!

He glanced back to the girl who now made no movement. Surrounded by panicked peoples, Ilan could just make out her face, devoid of that rosy colour from before.
Confusion split across his face. Although his mind was frozen, his legs knew what to do. They pushed Ilan up and snapped him out of his trance. His hand withdrew and fell to his side as he turned to the door and swiftly marched towards it. The oak door had flung open and closed as people rushed out to get other people and those people to rush back in, all wild eyed and in shock. The shouts began to blur into a continuous voice, one of horror, as Ilan aimed closer for the door.

Ilan felt the atmosphere flash from shock to suspicion and the dotted shouts died down into a sharp one that barked commands. He pattered across to the exit and was welcomed into the night by a cold, blasting wind as he stepped out of the village tavern.
He shuffled forward along the worn path. Blasts of his breath blew out in front of him as he kept up his march to anywhere.

Ilan could feel the fear spread through his body and he wanted nothing more than to just burst out of his skin and run as fast as he could and as long. He wouldn’t though, he wouldn’t dare. Too scared to run, too scared to stop, he carried on, bewildered at what had just happened.

A hurried rhythm of his feet slapping along the dirt path propelling him forward became the new sound as the ruckus at the tavern died away. The night lashed its chilling winds at Ilan as he kept his pace along the path, barely noticing the two figures as they moved in a similar fashion towards the tavern. Puffs of his breath became less frequent as the fresh night air brought him back to some senses.

He pulled up his hood and flicked his eyes around, trying to determine where he was in this village that he’d only known for little more than a day. He could see the tops of the trees that neighboured the village, left the path and scurried through the gaps between some other thatched roof buildings.

Did I use the wrong one? No...Even if I did, that should never have happened...

His brow furrowed as he thought back. He made his way through another gap and gained a small shot of determination as he saw the opening to the forest about fifty metres ahead of him with its tall, waving cloaks of green shrieking at him, calling him to safety. Whatever had happened, he was determined to just get out of this village. His puffs came back as controlled bursts as he hurried into half a skip and a run. The rustles of the uncut grass swathed into the winds as they bent into one another, obeying the wills of his feet as he trounced through the tall grasses on the outskirt of the village.

Suddenly a ferocious yell pierced through the night like a slew of arrows carrying its message, “GO!”. As if struck by one, Ilan tensed up and just exploded towards the forest. His limbs red hot burning through the chilling winds whilst the hand of fear clutched his heart tightly. He flew towards the opening, battered by the winds. He dare not look behind him, his eyes only fixed on the treeline as they grew in number, taller and deeper, even menacing as they came to embrace Ilan into its dark unknown.

****
OjKa OjKa OjKa!
Dirkzor
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Denmark1944 Posts
August 07 2012 19:21 GMT
#2
Nice read. I like the idea of a potion brewer as a protagonist.

The first part of this sentence just rubbed me wrong: " The oak door had flung open and closed as people rushed out to get other people and those people to rush back in, all wild eyed and in shock."

I can see what image you wanted to paint but the 3x people was weird.

Will read the next episode =)
"HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ON TOP AGAIN???? HOW DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS????" -Julmust (also, thats what she said)
ToT)OjKa(
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Korea (South)2437 Posts
August 08 2012 21:30 GMT
#3
Thanks for reading. I touched up some lines here and there as well as the people part. I probably finish this story with ~4-5k words so I'll pm you my google doc when it's finished and you can have a read.
OjKa OjKa OjKa!
Dr.Lettuce
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United Kingdom663 Posts
September 19 2012 08:53 GMT
#4
this shit is dope yo. I really like the words
Dr.Lettuce
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United Kingdom663 Posts
September 19 2012 09:03 GMT
#5
is the main character a guy or girl
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Replay Cast
00:00
Code For Giants Cup #28
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
NeuroSwarm 113
UpATreeSC 111
ProTech47
PiLiPiLi 15
StarCraft: Brood War
NaDa 66
Icarus 5
Dota 2
monkeys_forever434
LuMiX1
League of Legends
JimRising 557
Super Smash Bros
hungrybox351
C9.Mang0299
Other Games
summit1g12972
WinterStarcraft202
ViBE78
RuFF_SC229
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick2124
ComeBackTV 84
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 15 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Hupsaiya 193
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• RayReign 47
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Doublelift5037
• Scarra1978
• Lourlo850
Upcoming Events
CranKy Ducklings
6h 28m
RSL Revival
6h 28m
MaxPax vs Rogue
Clem vs Bunny
WardiTV Team League
8h 28m
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
13h 28m
BSL
16h 28m
Sparkling Tuna Cup
1d 6h
RSL Revival
1d 6h
ByuN vs SHIN
Maru vs Krystianer
WardiTV Team League
1d 8h
Patches Events
1d 13h
BSL
1d 16h
[ Show More ]
Replay Cast
1d 20h
Replay Cast
2 days
Wardi Open
2 days
Monday Night Weeklies
2 days
WardiTV Team League
3 days
GSL
4 days
The PondCast
5 days
WardiTV Team League
5 days
Replay Cast
5 days
WardiTV Team League
6 days
Korean StarCraft League
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-03-13
WardiTV Winter 2026
Underdog Cup #3

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1
Jeongseon Sooper Cup
BSL Season 22
RSL Revival: Season 4
Nations Cup 2026
ESL Pro League S23 Finals
ESL Pro League S23 Stage 1&2
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual

Upcoming

CSL Elite League 2026
ASL Season 21
Acropolis #4 - TS6
2026 Changsha Offline CUP
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
CSLAN 4
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
NationLESS Cup
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
CCT Season 3 Global Finals
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.