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Hey there! I really didn't want to start my blog on TL like this but I need to tell you a story, which is very important to me.
I think it's not needed that I'm introducing myself because after some blog entries you'll probably know who I am and what I am like. But I'm not a native speaker so sorry for my bad english.
Everyone in my school who knows who I am, also knows that I am playing "a random Videogame where I am really good at" and they're respecting this. Nevertheless everyone in my school has the opinion that girls playing videogames are totally strange.
I'm really not sure why I am an exception, maybe because I'm a direct person saying her opinion all the time. I dunno.
But there's another girl in my year who is also playing Starcraft 2. I never really talked to her because I had my own friends and she had hers. I thought.
We have religious education together and when she weren't there for almost 2 months I asked "Where's ****?" Of course nobody answered. I am really stubborn and inquisitive thats why I asked everyone I knew about this girl. After a while someone told me that's she's in hospital because she didn't eat."Sounds like a typical teenage girl" I thought, but then this person told me, that everyone was calling her "fat". (Seriously, she wasn't really fat or overweight). I was shocked at first but I didn't know what to do, so I just went on living my life.
A few days later a good friend of mine said funnily to me: "He, you can be proud of yourself that you are not bullied because of playing this weird videogame."
"Why should I be proud?" I asked. And then he told me that this girl, who was in hospital during that time, is bullied because of playing Starcraft. "It's totally weird", he said. "I bet she's addicted and just sitting on her fat ass all the time"
I talked to some people in my school, but most of the people just said "That's life".
And I have actually no idea what to do.
She's just like me. But she's bullied and I am not.
What's wrong with these people?
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First thing you do. You stand up for the girl, you go to her and say hey, I'm like you, I do this like you, want to be friends? Then when people make fun of her, you tell them that bullying isn't cool and you make the subject SOO awkward that people don't do it around you, this will eventually catch on in your friend group and other friend groups if you are lucky.
Secondly, teens are fucking harsh. Nothing you can do about that, its a fake time, with fake people, who act fake to be friends with other fake people, who find not fake things about real or fake people to make fun of to hide the fact that everyone is being fake to fit in. Long winded sentences but if you follow, it makes sense. People want to fit in and a common hatred makes everyone mesh pretty well, this girl is the unlucky scapegoat. You can counteract this by A) making someone else the scapegoat, or more effectively B) minimizing the amount of people that do this as I said in the first paragraph. The key is to have a strong friend group.
Thirdly, your english is pretty good, especially for a foreigner.
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Aotearoa39261 Posts
Sucks to hear that. Kids love to pick on anyones weakness/insecurities, not much you can do to stop that.
Although maybe it would be a good idea to open a channel of communication between you and her, gotta support other sc2 players - its what makes this community good.
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I never understood people who go through these kinds of bouts.
Perhaps I have more of a thick skin, but being made fun of doesn't bother me.
I am 6 foot reddish haired male 170-180 lbs. I get called a soul-less ginger, a fatty, and all sorts of stupid shit in highschool, and it doesn't bother me.
I hope that she gets back on track.
I really should learn to have better empathy, because I just don't understand at all.
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As the other posters said, you cant control others behavior but you can make the effort to befriend this girl and show her that not everyone is out to get them. Reaching out to someone who is treated that way can make a huge difference, people who deal with that kind of abuse generally have poor self-esteem, so being there to pick them up and have there back could mean the world.
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its not that she plays sc, its because she's weak. sucks for her and she prolly doesn't deserve it but thats the way this world of ours works. you gotta fight to earrn your spot on monkey rock.
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On August 06 2012 08:24 Thaniri wrote:
I never understood people who go through these kinds of bouts.
Perhaps I have more of a thick skin, but being made fun of doesn't bother me.
I am 6 foot reddish haired male 170-180 lbs. I get called a soul-less ginger, a fatty, and all sorts of stupid shit in highschool, and it doesn't bother me.
I hope that she gets back on track.
I really should learn to have better empathy, because I just don't understand at all.
what's the whole "soul-less" thing from anyway?
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On August 06 2012 09:09 B.I.G. wrote:
its not that she plays sc, its because she's weak. sucks for her and she prolly doesn't deserve it but thats the way this world of ours works. you gotta fight to earrn your spot on monkey rock.
this. even though at a young age everyone is a bit insecure or weak... all you can do is try to befriend her maybe she just needs someone to talk to
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Wow. how old are we talking about here? This sort of thing happens in elementary schools but disappears once someone is (idk) 10 years old.
If you stand up for her, you're telling her "I pity you," and as it has already been pointed out in this thread, her insecurity is the more likely cause of her being bullied, not her playing Starcraft. Saying that is not going to help her.
Ultimately, it is your choice to make.
As an alternative to standing up for her, you could get her to stand up for herself.
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She's getting picked on because she is susceptible to it, not because she plays starcraft. If she has let people calling her fat escalate into full on anorexia she probably has a bunch of other self-esteem problems and most likely needs professional help. I suppose that you could befriend her and perhaps that might help her to see more value in herself, but this is probably difficult as she is in the hospital. So there's not really much you can do, especially as you don't really know each other already.
Maybe try to befriend her when (if) she ever comes back to school, but this will probably be detrimental to you as she will be made fun of even more for being stupid enough to end up in the hospital. But it would be nice for her I suppose, unless she sees it as you taking pity on her (if she does this, she is beyond help).
Sad situation, but this girl hasn't done herself any favors by ending up in the hospital. In any case, not your problem, but if you feel like you must act, I've said what I think you can do.
On August 06 2012 09:22 Roe wrote:
what's the whole "soul-less" thing from anyway?
South park. The episode is "Ginger kids".
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On August 06 2012 09:32 Release wrote:
Wow. how old are we talking about here? This sort of thing happens in elementary schools but disappears once someone is (idk) 10 years old.
If you stand up for her, you're telling her "I pity you," and as it has already been pointed out in this thread, her insecurity is the more likely cause of her being bullied, not her playing Starcraft. Saying that is not going to help her.
Ultimately, it is your choice to make.
As an alternative to standing up for her, you could get her to stand up for herself.
It actually doesn't disappear after 10. It normally goes through all of middle school and will normally go away sophmore/junior year of high school (10'th, 11'th for those non americans who don't know sophomore/junior). There are always bullies throughout every grade but there aren't as many (at least at my school) once I hit my sophmore/junior year they either had dropped out or matured.
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Befriend her. Believe me, there's a good chance you two will become great friends. You've got nothing to lose here. Don't care what the other assholes think.
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T^T dis world so cruel gogogogo do whats right~
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She needs to join a decently sized school sponsored club/ sports team. Preferably one with some outdoor time involved (low levels of vitamin D can cause severe depression).
When I started 9th grade I was 5' 8" and 200 lbs, I never went outside, and I wasn't part of any clubs or sports. My best friend of mine convinced me to join the long distance running (cross country) team with him. For a while I was the laughing stock of the team and physically I was exhausted but I kept with it and eventually my team saw how hard I was trying and started defending me from bullies in school as well as inviting me to join other things with them. One of which was the wrestling team.
I went from considering suicide seriously to being pretty happy with my life in 6 months. I also know that those things were the cause because I stopped in my 11th grade year to work on school and slowly slumped into a horrible depression that I am still working on now 5 years later.
You should be like my best friend and help get her involved in the school. If she doesn't want to join then you might gain a friend. Above all less do something, if she hurts herself in some other way and you do nothing then it will hang on your conscience for the rest of your life.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9934 Posts
be her friendddd it means everything to know youre not alone
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On August 06 2012 13:55 intrigue wrote:
be her friendddd it means everything to know youre not alone
This. There's so much meaning in having companionship when a situation like that is occuring. Support her and be her friend, being there for her will be a huge thing.
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if shes into sc2 i wonder if shes on teamliquid, maybe shes reading this
and yeah u should totally start talking to her and u know maube in the future you and her might get together, gamer girl playing sc is a plus in my books 
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Find a way to show her your support. If she's not back in school yet, send her a message.
And introduce her to TL!
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What's wrong with people you ask.. Well, who the fuck knows what's up with every single being on the world.. Could be anything.
People are bullied, people suffer, people get through it somehow.
I've been bullied for everything and more, also for being fat, though I wasn't. I've got a height of 171cm and weigh 55kg.
Nevertheless, do what's suggested - support her and help her through this tough situation.
Most of the people being bullied don't have anyone's support, so you go and change that!
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On August 06 2012 14:16 Shock710 wrote:and yeah u should totally start talking to her and u know maube in the future you and her might get together, gamer girl playing sc is a plus in my books
Huh? OP is a girl! 
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On August 06 2012 09:22 Roe wrote:Show nested quote +On August 06 2012 08:24 Thaniri wrote:
I never understood people who go through these kinds of bouts.
Perhaps I have more of a thick skin, but being made fun of doesn't bother me.
I am 6 foot reddish haired male 170-180 lbs. I get called a soul-less ginger, a fatty, and all sorts of stupid shit in highschool, and it doesn't bother me.
I hope that she gets back on track.
I really should learn to have better empathy, because I just don't understand at all. what's the whole "soul-less" thing from anyway?
south park
then some other ginger kid on youtube decided to defend world wide ginger honour and just wound up making the situation worse
but yes the human race is stupid pack mentality peer pressure and all that.
sounds like right now she needs a friend you should go help her the added bonus being you can talk starcraft with eachother
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On August 06 2012 20:42 VenomBRA wrote:Show nested quote +On August 06 2012 14:16 Shock710 wrote:and yeah u should totally start talking to her and u know maube in the future you and her might get together, gamer girl playing sc is a plus in my books Huh? OP is a girl!
well still no reason, not too =)
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School is a horrible place
People used to call me chinkcent >____>
(im chinese)
I don't really know what you can do about it, my social development has always been extremely slow since i'm kinda autisticy and it never really makes any sense to me
I guess you just get better at dealing with things as you grow up
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On August 06 2012 21:29 BrTarolg wrote:
School is a horrible place
People used to call me chinkcent >____>
(im chinese)
I don't really know what you can do about it, my social development has always been extremely slow since i'm kinda autisticy and it never really makes any sense to me
I guess you just get better at dealing with things as you grow up
i dont know if its Australia or melbourne (my city), i never went to some proper "private" school, i went to a school near my house and i dont live in a very good area but i never, nor seen anyone being bullied for race, a friend of mine got bullied for being fat for like a day, casue he was like "yeah i'm fat lolol u gonna finish ur lunch i'll have it u dont" he didnt really mind. It stopped right after that, never experienced it or seen it outside the media
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wow this is a sick story. I hope u can help her.
Best wishes!
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It's so cool that so many people replied, thank you so much!
You guys are right. Maybe I should talk to her, yeah but the problemis, that she doesn't talk to anyone. She is back in school for 2 weeks (now we have summer vacation of course) but she doesn't even talk to our teachers.I think it will be rather difficult talking to her. I guess she's afraid of trusting somebody. Of course she is. I wouldn't trust anyone neither.
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Befriend her, but not by sticking up for her or addressing the issue. I'm sure she'd rather not be defined by it in anyone's eyes. If she wants to talk about it it will come up later.
Also, all this crap blows over in college. It's refreshing to not have an opinion of everyone in your grade thats been engrained in people's minds for 12 years.
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What surprises me is how many people managed to get through childhood without dealing with hardship. Bullying, extreme levels of violence, viciousness, cruelty, etc were all quite common during my childhood to the point that by 3rd-4th grade I had become very casual about violence and thought it was the only way to solve any dispute.
Ofc, as I got older, mostly 11th grade on, I learned that you can't use violence to solve everything because police with guns will show up and be even more violent towards you. That taught me not that violence was bad or didn't solve disputes, but that there were even more violent people out there willing and able to use it on me. AKA I learned my place in society.
But it just always amazes me when people have such a rosier outlook on life. It makes me realize how much of our personalities are shaped by the circumstances and experiences we go through growing up.
To Xhiwi: You should try to reach out to the girl and tell her that you play SC2 as well. One friend can make a world of difference. But you will be disappointed many times in life if you think fairness actually exists.
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Honestly, the best thing to do when you are "bullied" about something is to admit to say thing and even to add to what the guy is saying.
I do that all the time, but than again i am a pretty sarcastic person IRL and i know how to communicate kinda well face to face... which is kinda strange considering how much time i spend on my computer.
To give an example of this:
+ Show Spoiler +A recent thing that happened to me was a mother ( not sure if she was a mother, but she had a kid with her ) randomly shit talking me and a few friends for smoking a hookah ( the bar we were at has the outside tables in the middle of he sidewalk cuz hey, civilized country... ).
I don't even want to think of her reasoning but she started saying the usual crap of "Why cigarets are bad", now i would imagine that most people would just ignore her and even the ones that would talk back to her would go for the " Understand that hookah filtrates a lot of the nicotine and makes the smoker lighter" the " Get the fuck out im trying to enjoy a smoke with a few friends" or simply tell her how retarded she was acting.
Instead i did what i would usually do if someone i knew picked on something else that i was doing, I began telling her about how right she was and adding to the facts she told me about why smoking is bad, after about 1 minute of me agreeing to all that she said and adding more hyperbole-ized facts about why what we were doing was horrible she just looked confused than looked into the ground than left without saying a word.
Its the only time i can remember i did this to someone way above my age since my parents/teachers don't exactly bully/insult me without reason,
Still, it make me believe even stronger that admitting to what someone is blaming you for will make them shut up and even fell bad 99% of the time if they didn't had a goal other than using it as an insult against you
I used to have people telling me i play to many video games for example ( since i do ) and all the stereotypes that come with that, if I told them i completely agreed with what they said and even added more things to help there accusation they just stopped and most of the time showed signs of how awkward they fell.
Sarcasm is a powerful tool as long as you can keep a "straight face". Than again i am a pretty big guy so i don't think anyone would really like picking fights ( and those who do due to training or due to being assholes enough to call friends to help are the kind of people that i generally never get close to from both a physical and a platonic stand point.
If you know that what people say about you is untrue than you should be able to make anyone with a gram of brain see so by expanding on there point and the ones that don't, you will just make them fell bad or awkward.
If you know what people say about you is true than you should be able to admit to it, if you do so they will be basically in the same position as a guy telling an amputee he doesn't have a limb and laughing about it, in public... not a very pleasant position to be in. If you can't admit to something you know is true, if you can't make fun of yourself for doing something and if you can't stand by a decision since the "general population" disagrees with it than you are the one bullying yourself.
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EPT
