EPTIngredients:
-Beef! A nice chuck roast would be nice. I didn't take any pictures before I cut it up, but a chuck roast is nice. Stew meat is also really easy, though more expensive, but is already cut up and much leaner (with chuck you can leave some of the fat on though for more flavor later). You can also use...basically any other cut of beef.
-Onions. Many onions.
-Garlic. Cubed, pressed, whole and chopped, whatever. Garlic.
-Garlic Salt. Optional. Especially if you don't want any salt really. Garlic powder is doable, and none at all is fine too. It's also possible to replace garlic salt with more cubed garlic.
-Pepper.
-White Wine (optional).
-Butter (margarine/crisco/oil/whatever you prefer).
-Mushrooms (optional, did not use, but I would recommend).
-Beef Consomme. Optional, and replacable with beef gravy, making your own gravy, beef broth, and a few other things that all do the same thing but require different preparation. I used Beef Consomme. I usually do not.
For Rice:
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Straight-forward, boring, easy, no pictures Rice:
Two cups Rice
Two cans chicken broth (can use water instead)
A few 2-6 tablespoons of butter (can not use at all if you want)
A sprinkle of salt or no salt
Put it in a dish, stir it, and bake it for an hour covered at 400. Or at 350.
+ Show Spoiler +![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/6csxR.jpg)
Rice is not exciting.
Two cups Rice
Two cans chicken broth (can use water instead)
A few 2-6 tablespoons of butter (can not use at all if you want)
A sprinkle of salt or no salt
Put it in a dish, stir it, and bake it for an hour covered at 400. Or at 350.
+ Show Spoiler +
Rice is not exciting.
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The Beef!
1. Prep all your meat. If you got a solid hunk of meat with gristle and fat and everything else, separate the meat. I didn't include pictures of this part because it's messy as all hell and you will get blood all over yourself. Take the time to rinse the meat off before you start cutting it all up. The size of the pieces depends on what you want to do and how long you want to cook your food. Since beef over noodles will simmer for about 40 minutes, you can make the pieces a little thicker. Again, more simmering in liquid = more tender (generally). Aim for 1 inch by half inch by half inch pieces at biggest, and try to be relatively uniform whatever size you do. (I do much thinner pieces)
-Note: If you leave SOME fat on the pieces it will break down and add more flavor as your beef simmers.
2. Set your meat aside on your cutting board and season it. Garlic, pepper, and a little bit of wine (if you want). You can also rub cubed garlic on, or a mixture of whatever seasoning you want. You can also put it in a bag and throw it in the fridge for a few hours, or overnight. I generally cover the meat with saran wrap and just let it sit for a good half hour while I get the rice ready and clean up all the bloody mess.
-Note: longer sitting = more seasoning mixing in.
3. Cut up onions and mushrooms (or just onions) and mix in garlic.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/y8CyB.jpg)
4. Brown your meat in a deep skillet with whatever you brown your meat with. I use butter mostly.
-Note: To brown, turn the heat relatively high (7/10) but not extremely up and stir and turn and flip the meat around until it is dark. Don't overworry about it being cooked all the way through or not: it's going to simmer for 45 minutes covered. It's done.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/8J6YC.jpg)
Most of that sauce will disappear if you aren't planning on eating your meat very soon
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A painful re-enactment:
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/bwTXo.jpg)
That did not taste like my tea.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/dxO2r.jpg)
That was consomme not tea!!!! T_T_T__T_T_T_T
That did not taste like my tea.
That was consomme not tea!!!! T_T_T__T_T_T_T
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5. Lower the heat and add your onions/mushrooms/garlic (and probably more butter if you browned the meat for too long). Allow everything to simmer to give your onions some time to soften and break down.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/1Qogj.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/v39fX.jpg)
Make it look like this
6. Add your consomme/gravy/water mixture/whatever you are using. This is about half a can of consomme (half of what's shown), mixed with half water.
Note: If using consomme, gravy may be desired***(below).
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Kt50G.jpg)
7. Cover and simmer for 45 minutes. Stir Occasionally. Practice waiting patiently. Play the waiting game.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/yfjMy.jpg)
Waiting
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/8Trr8.jpg)
Stirring is a kind of waiting!
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/pXlLC.jpg)
Henry is a part of waiting!
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/P6WSs.jpg)
Ice cream is part of waiting! ^_^
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/YPHkg.jpg)
O god.
8. Plate. Eat. Enjoy.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/2qF4n.jpg)
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***On Gravy
Gravy is tricky. We'll call this a troubleshooting section. I prefer to have a thicker gravy. Consomme is not thick. Consomme does not like thick. Consomme does not understand thick. Consomme is water. Until you cook it for 45 minutes and most of it just boils away, leaving you with a nice dish that just doesn't have enough gravy, and want for more gravy.
There are three primary ways to thicken gravy:
1. Wait. Turn down your heat and just wait. As your foods sits the gelatin in the gravy will settle out more and your sauce will thicken.
2. Add heat. If you turn your heat up, the water in the gravy will boil out. If you aren't careful, you will burn your food and ruin the taste of everything.
3. Flour. (Below) Adding flour and mixing very carefully (or using a separate dish to mix flour and water so the flour is smooth already by the time it gets in your pan) will thicken your gravy into a nice sauce. It is easily the most difficult and time consuming, and you must be careful with your flour or you will over-thicken your sauce. Also, lumps are bad.
-Directions
+ Show Spoiler +
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/qntLA.jpg)
As you can see, there is not a whole lot of sauce.
1. Get a dish with a lid. Really, you can pour in flour if you want and stir as you go, but it's a fucking mess when you have meat and onions and shit in your pan with your gravy already, and you'll miss some if you aren't super careful and that just takes too long. So, tupper-ware dish, with a lid. Pour water in it. How much water? Some water. Use pictures. You don't need a ton of water, but maybe a half a cup.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/2Sj7N.jpg)
Dish. Other dishes will work too. The lid is the important part. The lid not leaking and spewing water
2. Add flour. How much flour? It really depends and you just have to eye-ball it. In the worst case you're going to add too much, your gravy will instantly get way too thick, and you'll have to add more water. I used about two heaping tablespoons of flour, for reference.
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/WNUYn.jpg)
Delicious.
3. Put the lid on and shake the shit out of it.
4. Pour some of the mixture into your sauce. Is it too thin? Pour in some more. Is it too thick? Pour in regular tap water and stir to thin it back out. Again, worst case you're going to end up with too much sauce.
Note: Your sauce will get lighter the more you add. There are things such as Kitchen Bouquet which are basically brown food coloring and a few seasoning spices like dried onion, garlic, salt, pepper, and celery, but mostly brown food coloring, if you want to re-darken your sauce. I did, because I'm cooking for company and they might give a shit about the color of the gravy.
For help:
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/koOVr.jpg)
Stir
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/nIPHD.jpg)
Light, and post-additional water (was too busy frantically pouring in more as my too thick sauce started to sizzle).
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/9Zgwy.jpg)
The magic of Kitchen Bouquet! (seriously who cares about the color of the gravy?)
