EPTSo a few months later, everything has had time to sink in.
My wife is pregnant with our first child.
Obviously from my initial reaction one might not think that this was a good thing for me, but I can state a few things to start:
I am married.
We are financially stable...ish.
I have a loving family who will support us in any and every way that they can.
We DO want this child.
I can go into a little bit more detail than I did months ago at this point, though I am still nervous about revealing too much personal info online (not that it's difficult to figure out or anything, but still).
My wife and I have always wanted kids from the beginning; her much more so than I in the sense that she wanted them NOW, when the practical thing to do would've been to wait. Our then-current financial situation since she had just started a new job and I have 3 more years of professional school left was alright, but we do have a loan (probably going to have to get another now) and we're slowly eating through savings. I also have some fairly large health issues, one that will require surgery in the not-too-distant future and another that I cannot really mention, but suffice it to say that it was just not reasonable for us to have a kid at this point in time. She would often get very upset when we'd learn from friends of their pregnancies since she felt she was aging (she's two years older than me, almost 30) and is running out of time.
So despite all this we were about to go on our honeymoon, a year delayed due to surgery and school, when my wife informs me that she thinks she's pregnant. She will always remember my first words to her on learning this news:
"No you're not."
NOW? But it would ruin ALL of our fragile little plans? How would we go on our honeymoon? How would we live day-to-day with ANOTHER mouth to feed? How would I even be able to help take care of a child with my medical issues in the mix?
We went to the doctor and it was all but confirmed. I still refused to believe it, (to my shame) researching miscarriage rates and false positives but as the day progressed it was obvious. What were we going to do? I had to talk to somebody, but in my religion superstition dictates that you don't tell anyone for at least 3 months for fear of something going wrong. I can see the merit in this but I still had to talk to SOMEBODY.
And that brings me to TL.
I absolutely must say, a HUGE thank you to everyone who voiced their concern and offered to help me out or talk about in my last blog. Those first couple days were the absolute worst and knowing there were other people out there who had similar issues to mine really helped me out to an insane degree.
Very special thanks to JingleHell. If you're reading this know that you really made a difference to me that first night. Also showed my wife the picture you sent...she loved it. Back to the story:
The first thing I wanted to do was to tell my parents. They live an hour away from us currently so our support network is a little thinner than it has been in the past. Nonetheless I wanted to tell them in person, and we decided since we were supposed to leave for our honeymoon in 2 days and she would in all probability be fairly ill (it was a cruise as well) the whole time, we decided to tell them before we left. They took it fairly well; obviously they were worried about some of the same issues we were but I felt instantly better being able to tell someone I know.
I am going to update this blog fairly regularly...maybe every couple of weeks, just recalling stories from the journey that is pregnancy so far, and how our lives have changed and will continue to change in the future. If no one wants to read, then that's up to them, but just writing it all down will probably help me many more ways than I can imagine.Thanks for being there, TL, and continuing to be there. You've been a regular part of my life for 2 years now and here's hoping you'll continue to be.
Part 3 (which will probably have a different title) I'll explain how our honeymoon went and how our attitudes have changed. Some fun stories included!
I also might update my progress on the ladder in LoL as was consistent with my earlier blogs but that will probably take a sideline to this. So, in other (and less important) news, I still have ladder fear in LoL, though slightly less of it! Dropped way down from my initial 1400 but I'm very slowly working my way back up, and streaming when I do it right here on TL!
http://www.teamliquid.net/video/streams/WaveofShadow
