EPTStarcraft.. Somehow, sometime back in my youth, I had picked up a starcraft 1 bundle with brood war and 2 prima guides included. I didn't remember playing it, so about.. let's say 70+ weeks ago I plowed through single player.
I then decided to buy Starcraft 2, plowed through the single player. Wanted to try out online, as I had heard about the competitive scene and how SC is close to, if not, the arrowhead of esports.
Point is, I've always been a gamer, and always a serious one. So when I considered ladder play for starcraft 2, I started doing my research.
Oh man did I do my research. At the time I was also doing college online, which offered me a lot of "background audio" time and put my second monitor to good use. Pulled up and watched dozens of day9 videos, took written notes on most of the newbie tuesdays. Started watching streams, one night found the GSL was on and watched that. I played hundreds of games against the AI, which the theory alone allowed me to whomp on. I downloaded greentea AI and although it kicked my ass, it helped refine some of my god awful mechanics such as better timing and much much more hotkey and control group use. My mind was soaking in starcraft knowledge, and I thought I was a bad ass.
But I had not yet even played one placement match.
I dove into my matches, clearing them all in one go. What was my record? I can't recall, but it most not of been spectacular as I was placed in bronze. I was shocked that I had performed so poorly, and put myself back to studying.
I ended up playing for less than a week, for just 9 games. Just 9, and here I was thinking I was going to be all pro, playing like 50+ games a day. I look at my SC2 1v1 history, all of these games occurring 67 weeks ago. My record? I finished at a 3-6. I couldn't believe it, I was heartbroken.
Why did I leave? Honestly I can't remember. I don't recall ever raging and saying "F THIS GAME FOREVER", I know practice makes perfect. It was probably college related, along with other games coming out. SC2 eventually vanished from my PC.
About a week ago I was looking over my shelf of games, having grown bored with what I had been playing. And there set Starcraft 2. I suddenly thought "I'm not done yet." and installed the game. A lot of the mechanics came back to me as I flew through the campaign once more, and then once again whomped on the computer AI in some practice 1 v 1's.
But now I'm sitting here, after about 3 days of watching streams and AI practice, wondering if I'm ready to jump into the ladder. I see I have 5 placement matches once more.
I think back wondering why I quit last time. Then the light bulb goes off! Starcraft, just like college, has 2 very different but very important aspects. Knowledge, and the ability to use it. When I finished up college that year I went into the real world thinking I was a bad ass, best at my job. Boy was I put in my place quickly, but I couldn't quit the real world...
I had pumped all this theory, all this knowledge into my ego, but I had absolutely 0 idea on how to use it. Sure I'd seen pros execute some amazing strategy, but my mind, my fingers, they weren't ready yet. But my ego wouldn't have any of it.
Now here I am. I know I am going to suck. I know I am going to lose. In all likelihood I am going to go 0-5 in placement. But I have to let this happen. The AI won't teach me anymore. All these VOD's and streams will give me nothing if I don't actually practice what I see.
When I was 9 I had the balls to compete against adults in a public tournament. Now I'm behind a PC screen in the privacy of my own home, with the anonymity of a screen name, behind thousands of miles of cables, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to just casually play a computer game? What's wrong with me?
I'm going to lose.
So what.
We get better through practice and knowledge.
No one starts at the top, everyone started at the same level.
Not only am I going to lose some, probably a lot,
I have to lose.
But then I'm going to get better.
"Looking for Players"
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/tcDiF.jpg)
But as soon as you stop getting upset about losing this game is highly motivating and lots of fun. But you have to take the step and stop caring about "win" or "loss" but only about the mistakes you made. I know this is the mantra everyone prays up and down, but you have to absorb and play by it.
