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Useless Friends(contains ranting)

Blogs > Praetorial
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Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-28 03:37:21
June 27 2012 18:17 GMT
#1
...are fucking idiotic.
HEY GUYS THIS HAS BEEN RESOLVED YAY
Over the past three weeks, I have seen the worst parts of my friends come out when they think that they are doing good.

Just three weeks ago, I told one of my best friends that I had a crush on a girl and asked him for advice, as they are in a number of the same classes together. What happens? The next day, apparently he tells her that I like her, embellishing this with a number of other entirely false details that I never said. Compounding this, he also tells every single person in that class.

Today, one of my other good friends decides that now is the time for him to tell another member of my school's speech and debate team that I dislike their personality and ability to make sound decisions. While indeed I did say this, I told my friend to please not tell anyone else. And when I asked him his justification, he said "I'm just trying to make things more peaceful" MORE PEACEFUL?! How the fuck did he figure that? I had never made my feelings against this team member public, and my friend thinks that it is a brilliant idea for him to "broker peace" between us by telling this team member how much I "hate" them.

What the fuck motivates people that I've known for years to do something as fucking idiotic as making other people hate my and think that I am weird with not clear benefit?

Is it because they think they are doing the right thing? Or is it because they want to share this very sensitive information that I shared with them in confidence, just so they can do something with it and get personal closure?

Goddamnit, I'm not talking to them ever again. TL is literally the only place that I can talk about my personal life and feeling and not have people talking about it behind my back very single fucking day.

/rant

**
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
Feartheguru
Profile Joined August 2011
Canada1334 Posts
June 27 2012 18:23 GMT
#2
Find better friends.
Don't sweat the petty stuff, don't pet the sweaty stuff.
Haze.884
Profile Joined July 2011
New Zealand192 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-27 18:25:37
June 27 2012 18:24 GMT
#3
I got back stabbed so many times in my life by 'friends'.
Saddest being my childhood friend leading the charge in bullying me at a summer camp that I used to go every year... and I invited him to it ..
Now, I never say anything that can be potentially bad to anyone... ( I once praised a guy, and somehow someone told him I was shittalking him -.-;; )

I think I have better friends now, but I still feel a bit paranoid about talking too much.
a
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
June 27 2012 18:25 GMT
#4
On June 28 2012 03:23 Feartheguru wrote:
Find better friends.


Yeah, well these are the type that are normally awesome, so this was a huge what the fuck moment for me.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24799 Posts
June 27 2012 18:25 GMT
#5
If people have proven they can't keep things you tell them to themselves, then don't tell them anything. Whatever effect that has on your relationship with them, so be it.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
June 27 2012 18:27 GMT
#6
On June 28 2012 03:25 micronesia wrote:
If people have proven they can't keep things you tell them to themselves, then don't tell them anything. Whatever effect that has on your relationship with them, so be it.


Normally they are good about it, though.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
Zvenn3n
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Sweden1196 Posts
June 27 2012 18:38 GMT
#7
That's low. Screw friends, who needs them anyway when we've got StarCraft?

Seriously though, as fear said, find better friends. Not everyone can keep secrets, so don't tell yours to too many.
itsjustatank
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Hong Kong9179 Posts
June 27 2012 18:39 GMT
#8
On June 28 2012 03:17 Praetorial wrote:
Today, one of my other good friends decides that now is the time for him to tell another member of my school's speech and debate team that I dislike their personality and ability to make sound decisions. While indeed I did say this, I told my friend to please not tell anyone else. And when I asked him his justification, he said "I'm just trying to make things more peaceful" MORE PEACEFUL?! How the fuck did he figure that? I had never made my feelings against this team member public, and my friend thinks that it is a brilliant idea for him to "broker peace" between us by telling this team member how much I "hate" them.


Ahh debate team drama... how nostalgic.

Just general advice: choose friends wisely, adhere to information security. Basically, keep your thoughts to yourself and don't confide in anyone if at all possible because gossip mills are ubiquitous.

In terms of impact though, as long as the person in question that you dislike isn't your partner it doesnt matter that much.
Photographer"nosotros estamos backamos" - setsuko
MrZemus
Profile Joined April 2011
United States3 Posts
June 27 2012 18:41 GMT
#9
I believe it was Benjamin Franklin that said, "Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead".

Never tell anyone anything that you do not want broadcasted on the news. This is unfortunate, but it prevents little surprises like what you experienced from happening down the road.
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary26003 Posts
June 27 2012 18:41 GMT
#10
I think he likes her too and used that to embarass you to make himself look better by comparision. I wouldn't overreact, but I also wouldn't easily forget this if I was sharing information or thinking about helping him out in the future.
Moderator
Incze
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Romania2058 Posts
June 27 2012 18:49 GMT
#11
Never tell anything too personal or accusative to anyone but the closest friends, this is a lesson you should've learned earlier in life.
Religion: Buckethead
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-27 18:50:21
June 27 2012 18:49 GMT
#12
On June 28 2012 03:41 Chill wrote:
I think he likes her too and used that to embarass you to make himself look better by comparision. I wouldn't overreact, but I also wouldn't easily forget this if I was sharing information or thinking about helping him out in the future.


He's asexual.

See, that was shared in confidence, but because nobody knows my identity without digging, I can share it.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
June 27 2012 18:50 GMT
#13
On June 28 2012 03:49 Incze wrote:
Never tell anything too personal or accusative to anyone but the closest friends, this is a lesson you should've learned earlier in life.


They are my closest friends.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
Thrill
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
2599 Posts
June 27 2012 18:54 GMT
#14
Your friends are weird.

Take a step back and reflect on whether you're weird too.

If yes, accept their shortcomings and embrace reality.

If no, find new friends.
JingleHell
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States11308 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-27 19:00:53
June 27 2012 19:00 GMT
#15
On June 28 2012 03:17 Praetorial wrote:


Goddamnit, I'm not talking to them ever again. TL is literally the only place that I can talk about my personal life and feeling and not have people talking about it behind my back very single fucking day.

/rant



Oh my god, I didn't even know this was here until GMarshal told me how bad you were talking shit about me before you edited it out! I can't believe you would talk about me like that in a blog!

j/k. <3
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
June 27 2012 19:28 GMT
#16
On June 28 2012 03:38 Zvenn3n wrote:
That's low. Screw friends, who needs them anyway when we've got StarCraft?

Seriously though, as fear said, find better friends. Not everyone can keep secrets, so don't tell yours to too many.


I don't play Starcraft anymore.

I told them one each, and only two best friends.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
iamperfection
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States9647 Posts
June 27 2012 19:30 GMT
#17
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=335358

Is it the same girl? If not im dissapointed you didnt come to us first.
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=406168&currentpage=78#1551
Apom
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
France656 Posts
June 27 2012 19:36 GMT
#18
High school drama blogs never disappoint.
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-27 19:37:21
June 27 2012 19:36 GMT
#19
On June 28 2012 04:30 iamperfection wrote:
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=335358

Is it the same girl? If not im dissapointed you didnt come to us first.


Yes. And do note that I was sorta about to act on the advice I got there a few weeks ago, but I asked my friend for some last minute advice, and then he proceeded to fuck things up.

On June 28 2012 04:36 Apom wrote:
High school drama blogs never disappoint.


Yes, well, thank you. I actually do care about this. How so very encouraging and helpful.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
Ahzz
Profile Joined May 2007
Finland780 Posts
June 27 2012 20:53 GMT
#20
I've found that it's quite typical for people to try to boost their own status at the expense of others. In the first case there's a decent chance that he, like chill said, likes the girl too. Or that deep down he doesn't like you at all. Or that he's extremely simple minded and stupid (quite probable, especially in high school). For the second dude he just wanted to get points in the eyes of other people at your expense.

These sort of people are all around us, especially at a younger age but even after that too. The best you can do is ignore them/not trust them anymore
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